Friday, September 19, 2014

Cultists & Other Creeps

Why is it that one administration after another insists on carrying on an unseemly love affair with Islam? For several years, George W. Bush kept telling us that Islam was a religion of peace when, clearly, it was the one religion in the entire world that wasn’t.

These days, we have Obama curtsying to sheiks, imans and ayatollahs, every chance he gets. For good measure, the eminent theologian, John Kerry, who merely moonlights as the secretary of state, claimed, at a ceremony to appoint Texas lawyer Shaarik Zafer to be special representative to Muslim communities, that it was America’s biblical responsibility to confront climate change and to protect vulnerable Muslim majority countries. “It’s a responsibility that comes from God,” he insisted, without clarifying whether or not he was referring to Obama.

How reassuring it is to know that the State Department is being overseen by someone so deeply concerned with the well-being of our archenemies. And how is it that we need to have a special envoy to Muslim communities when we seem to get along fine without envoys to Catholic, Jewish, Presbyterian, Baptist, Hindu, Shinto or Amish, communities?

In this particular case, we had Kerry paying homage to two cults simultaneously. The first consists of those who insist that global warming is anything but a hoax created in order to enrich those invested in so-called green energy operations and the politicians who reside deep inside the pockets of the ecology nuts who exchanged their brains for membership in the Sierra Club. The second is the cult of Islam, which only pretends to be a religion so that pinheaded barbarians can pray to something besides their goats.

Yet another cult is the one devoted to personalities, which is why I despise politicians who are described as charismatic, and why I take exception to those who claim that someone like Gov. Scott Walker, for instance, shouldn’t be the GOP presidential candidate in 2016. Such louts dismiss competence as boring. The problem is that charisma inevitably gets you someone like Hitler, Mussolini, Peron, Castro, Huey Long, Obama and Hugo Chavez.

Speaking of Chavez, the late, unlamented, dictator, left-wing Venezuelans have altered the Lord’s Prayer in places to read, “Our Chavez, who art in Heaven….” and “lead us not into the temptation of capitalism.” Over the Church’s objections, Chavez’s successor, Nicolas Maduro, has endorsed the new version.

Closer to home, we have Berkeley’s city council members, who are forever in competition with their loony colleagues in San Francisco, deciding to dispense free marijuana to anyone making less than $32,000-a-year. I suppose now that the gauntlet has been thrown down, Frisco will have no choice but to offer free heroin.

As if it’s not embarrassing enough that the chief propagandist for ISIS, Ahmad Abousamra, is an American who hails from Boston, it so happens he has dual-citizenship. Thanks to open borders, we are barely a sovereign nation these days, but allowing for dual citizenship is totally beyond the pale. That is especially the case when the other nation, as is the case with Mr. Abousamra, happens to be Syria, one of our archenemies. The question that comes to mind is how, even if we get our hands on the bum, the U.S. can even indict and convict him for treason when he is fighting for one of his two countries.

If someone told you that global-warming is the greatest crisis facing America, as Hillary Clinton recently stated, you would question her ability to run a lemonade stand, let alone a nation. But here she is announcing that a climate hoax is a greater threat than China and North Korea threatening our Far East allies; greater than ISIS and Iran threatening Israel and America; and greater than Russia threatening all of Eastern Europe. To me, the only threat that comes close to these others is the threat of Hillary Clinton being returned to the White House.

You would think that so long as the law of averages hasn’t been overturned that liberals would occasionally be right about something, but, as you may have noticed, when it comes to liberals, including those in the White House, laws, even natural ones, don’t pertain. So it is that this administration keeps assuring the worst villains on the face of the earth that they needn’t ever worry about “boots on the ground,” which has quickly become the most over-used expression since “at this point in time.” Whenever I hear Obama or one of his stooges utter those words, I find myself imagining a kid finally confronting a schoolyard bully and assuring his tormentor: “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t punch you in the nose.”

But there are times when even Obama, Kerry and Clinton, can’t handle all the heavy lifting. At such times, Barbara Boxer is always ready to step in and even defend the administration’s cover-up of the Benghazi massacre, insisting, “We shouldn’t try to turn a tragedy into a scandal.”

Well, Madam Senator, we conservatives didn’t do the turning. President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton did that when they spent weeks blaming the massacre on a silly video they knew played no part in provoking the terrorist attack. They might as well have blamed it on “Gone with the Wind,” ocean currents or sunspots.

As you may have noticed, liberals are always asserting their expertise when it comes to things such as the economy, national defense and the climate, things they know nothing about. Worse yet, because the educational system is such a hash, they generally have the academic credentials with which to buffalo the unsuspecting.

For instance, what constantly amazes me about those on the Left who keep demanding that corporate taxes be raised is that they seem to be totally unaware of who in the final analysis pays those taxes. It’s we the consumers. As even a child would realize, all the corporations do is add the taxes to their other expenses and pass them along in the price we pay for their products or services.

It’s sad but also shameful that those so-called progressives who spend their lives demanding that the fat cats be soaked are apparently unaware that it is they, along with the rest of us, who wind up getting drenched.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

"Divas & Demons"

When it comes to divas, the ones who would generally come to mind are Beyonce, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. But one who is clearly entitled to her rightful place on any list of arrogant, demanding, wildly overpaid female celebrities is none other than Hillary Clinton. It’s true that, unlike the others, she can’t carry a tune in a suitcase. But to be fair she has a talent they lack. She has the ability to crack glass with her unnerving cackle.

It’s bad enough that Mrs. Clinton went on TV and claimed that she and Bill were flat broke when they left the White House in 2001, trolling for sympathy from all us yokels who are struggling to survive Obama’s economic policies. Apparently Hillary’s contempt for everyone who isn’t Hillary is so great that she assumed that none of us were aware that both she and Bill had multi-million dollar book deals just waiting for them to turn off the lights in the White House.

But it now comes out that if you’re goofy enough to write her a check for $300,000 so she’ll deign to show up and give one of her boring lectures, you better keep your checkbook handy. It seems she is every bit as demanding as Michelle Obama on a bad hair day. For starters, you will have to provide a private jet with seating for 16 for the roundtrip to your venue. You will also have to set aside 20 seats at the event for her entourage. Next, you’ll have to provide her with a presidential suite at the hotel of her choice, along with three adjoining rooms for her various stooges. Finally, you’ll have to pony up enough to pay for all their meals and phone calls, along with $1,250 for madam’s stenographer.

In return, she will grant you 90 minutes of her time, the taking of no more than 50 photos with no more than 100 guests, and absolutely no press coverage.

In the meantime, the man she’d like to replace in the Oval Office is behaving even crazier than usual, giving speeches in which he goes from vowing to decimate the terrorists in Iraq to suggesting he would be willing to simply manage them. This is a wimp who couldn’t manage a Pony League baseball team pretending he can manage the barbarians in the Middle East.

Speaking of those barbarians, why is it they can’t settle on a name? First, they were ISIS (the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria). Then, a couple of days later, they were calling themselves ISIL (the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant). The next thing I knew, they were simply IS (the Islamic State.) But the day isn’t over. Nobody’s gone through so many name changes since Elizabeth Taylor wound up with a tombstone engraved Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky.

The way that Obama is dithering around, when even his vice-president, his secretary of defense, Senators Dianne Feinstein and Elizabeth Warren, and the Pope, are calling for decisive military action against the head-hacking butchers, I’m wondering if he thinks that voters this November will be sufficiently distracted by the Middle East – foreign policy being something that generally doesn’t sway many voters – to forget about the economy, the racist policies of Eric Holder and ObamaCare. I’m reminded that George Will recently channeled Lily Tomlin’s bag lady character who was wont to say, “No matter how cynical you are, you just can’t keep up.”

If Obama really sought advice when it comes to foreign affairs, he’d be wise to heed John Slawinski, who sums it up this way: “Whenever there’s trouble in the world, foreign nations and their people should either say, ‘Thank God the Americans are here’ or ‘God help us, the Americans are here.’”

Instead, we’re stuck with a schmuck in the White House who insists that the world is safer than it’s ever been, while acknowledging the world is always a messy place. Dismissing what is going on in Ukraine, North Korea, China, Iran, Syria and Iraq, as “messy” would qualify for a gold medal if the Olympics included a competition for English understatement.

I was recently ruminating about Israel’s bleak future. One needn’t be Nostradamus to see a vicious cycle of being attacked by her neighbors; eventually striking back and being condemned by the world community for doing so; agreeing to a ceasefire; then agreeing to go through the motions of negotiating with people sworn to annihilate you until the talks are inevitably interrupted by the next attack, which eventually will involve Iranian nukes.

I realize that Jews have lived there for thousands of years and that the Bible refers to Israel as the Jewish homeland, but in my head I see God tearing his hair out and hollering, “Can’t anyone take a joke? Why on earth would anyone think I’d expect my Chosen People to live among evil, swinish cultists whose only purpose in life is to kill Jews and -- oh by the way -- settle on the only land for miles around that has no oil under it? Who in his right mind would move into such a neighborhood? Actually, when I was talking about a Promised Land, I had Des Moines in mind.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?