Friday, November 28, 2014

The Town Crier

Sometimes, as with the Jonathan Gruber scandal, which the major media either ignored or downplayed, I realize that a great many Americans have no idea how much lunacy and larceny is taking place right under their noses. Therefore, it falls on my tiny shoulders to get the word out.

To start with, the only reason that Nancy Pelosi can pretend to forget all the times she praised Jonathan Gruber publicly and that Barack Obama can threaten to use executive action to legalize illegal aliens after spending four years telling Hispanic groups that he lacked the constitutional authority to do so is because they know that the NY Times, the L.A. Times, the three major TV networks and MSNBC, will cover for them. That is why I have said I’d give the Democrats control of the House in exchange for an honest, unbiased, media.

Moving on, were you aware that Charles Manson, 80, is about to get married to 26-year-old Afton “Star” Burton? For those of you wondering what to get the newlyweds, I think a suicide pact or His and Her shrouds make more sense than the typical confectionary oven.

When enumerating the many ways that Hollywood big wigs display their hypocrisy, one should not overlook how they behave towards their personal assistants. That’s a group consisting of young men and women who have a lot in common with indentured servants, except that they’re not treated as well. Not only are these poor schnooks paid a pittance, but their Hollywood elitist bosses demand they work 60-70 hour weeks. Those who accept these coolie existences are deluded enough to think it’s glamorous to pick up the dry cleaning of these folks and to chauffer their tots to their play dates so long as they can drop famous names to their friends and relatives. As someone once said, for every sadist, there’s a masochist. But in Hollywood, the ratio is closer to a thousand to one.

Speaking of hypocrites in high places, at a pricey dinner attended by, among other leftists, actor Ed Norton and publisher Arianna Huffington, Emil Michael, a senior executive with Uber, a controversial ridesharing enterprise bent on putting taxi drivers out of business, told his fellow diners that he was considering hiring people to dig up dirt on Uber’s critics in order to silence them. When his remarks went public, Michael said that they didn’t actually reflect his views. Now, as with Jonathan Gruber and Barack Obama, I’m left wondering whose views his chilling words were reflecting.

Progressives seem to go through life like real life Chatty Cathy dolls who have no control over what comes out of their mouths once someone pulls their strings.
On top of every other lousy thing one can say about Al Sharpton, it seems he owes $4.5 million in state and federal taxes. No word as to the reason his sorry ass isn’t in the jug, but I’m willing to wager that neither NY Governor Andrew Cuomo nor Barack Obama’s Treasury Department wants to ruffle the little snake’s scales, lest he turn on the Democrats.

For those who continue to mask their anti-Semitism behind the pretense that there is a moral equivalence between Israel and the Palestinians, let it be known that in the aftermath of two Arab cousins, Ghassen and Uday Abu Jammal murdering four unarmed Jews – three of them Americans – praying in a Jerusalem synagogue, there was great rejoicing in Gaza. The vermin handed out candies and other treats to the children, while the adults had their photos taken, posing proudly with guns, hatchets and meat cleavers, the weapons used in the massacre.

Until recently, I had been unaware that the Justice Department must pass on every capital case in America. Once I knew that, I wasn’t the least bit surprised to learn that of the 1,236 cases brought before Eric Holder, he has authorized the death penalty only 27 times. And although I can’t prove it, I’m willing to wager a couple of dollars that in the vast majority of those 27 cases, it was white killers, as opposed to blacks or Hispanics, who were executed.

Even the United Arab Emirates has gotten around to concluding that the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) is a terrorist group. Everyone who isn’t part of this Islamic-loving administration knows that CAIR is the well-financed propaganda arm of Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood. But even after the UAE announcement, John Kerry’s State Department is still considering the matter. The truth is that there are probably fewer Muslim sympathizers in Fallujah than in Washington, D.C.

I recently pointed out in an article that I thought it was obscene that the executive director of Wounded Warriors is paid well over $300,000-a-year. I also wondered how the group could afford to advertise as extensively as it does on Fox News.

But, I recently received an email from Dr. Richard Stiso that exposed exactly how the charity spends the money it receives from patriotic Americans. According to Guidestar, a group that investigates charities, the Wounded Warrior Project might as well be run by the Mafia. In 2012, the WWP received an astronomical $154,958,901, with a measly $4,857,084 going out in grants to veterans’ organizations and $671,194 to individuals. That means that the group only used 3.5% of the money it received for the purpose intended.

In the meantime, the Officers, Directors and Trustees hauled in $15,415,666 million, with Employee Benefits ($2,226,457), Office Expenses ($12,451,303), Travel ($4,086,509), Promotional Items ($4,055, 567) and something called Outside Services ($20,915,404) accounting for roughly50% of what’s listed as “Overhead Expenses.”

So just in case you thought it was just the V.A. that was filled with back-stabbing traitors ripping off military veterans, you didn’t know the half of it.

Finally, novelist Margaret Atwood once observed that “Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate.”
It’s a cute line and I have no doubt it applies to Ms. Atwood, as I know it does to most writers. But I’m the exception. I know that to be a fact because every time I’ve had occasion to rhetorically ask: “What am I, chopped liver?” the answer I invariably get is a resounding “Yes!”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Gnomes In The News

I recently saw a photo taken during a September event called the People’s Climate March in New York City. There was Jane Goodall in the front rank holding a couple of stuffed toy monkeys, thus making herself more readily recognizable to caption writers who might not otherwise recall that she spent a large portion of her life eating, sleeping and hanging out, with gorillas.

Apparently nothing much has changed because there she was linking arms with such primates as France’s Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and none other than the king of the chimps, Al Gore.

I would say that Ms. Goodall enjoyed better company in the old days. But you could readily see why some people are convinced that apes and people are closely related. Looking at De Blasio and Gore, you would almost swear they’re human.

Another name that’s been in the news lately is Bill Cosby, who has cancelled some TV appearances because he doesn’t wish to be asked about the rape accusations that have been hurled his way by a number of women. Frankly, I have no way of knowing if he sexually assaulted all of them or any of them. But what I do know is that back in the 1970s, a friend of mine was Cosby’s publicist and on more than one occasion, when I was in my friend’s office, Cosby, who was already a husband and father, would phone from wherever he was finishing up a gig – often Tahoe or Vegas –to say he was coming to town and to line up some women.

That doesn’t make him a serial rapist, but it does explain why I never bought the wholesome Cosby image used to peddle Jell-O and family values to a gullible public.

Speaking of women, I think someone needs to point out to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Valerie Jarrett, that politics is a rough and tumble game. If you can’t take it, perhaps you should take up macramé. What you don’t get to do is play the game and also referee, tossing a penalty flag for sexism every time you’re forced to play defense. Perhaps if you weren’t so personally offensive, it wouldn’t be necessary. It would also help if your notion of sexism was based on gender and not politics so you didn’t always turn a blind eye to it or even participate when its victims were Republicans like Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann.

Is it just me or is everyone sick and tired of hearing about glass ceilings being shattered every time some left-wing female sneezes? I mean, this is 2014, for god’s sake. In case you haven’t been paying attention, women have been ruling nations and commanding armies for centuries. The list includes the likes of Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Mary Queen of Scots, Catherine II, Queen Victoria, Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel.

For years now, I have regularly been receiving a June, 1920 quote attributed to H.L. Mencken of the Baltimore Sun: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folk of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright utter fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

The people who pass it along to me obviously know my opinion of Barack Obama. What they don’t seem to grasp is that the source of the quote obviously had the same elitist contempt for his fellow Americans, whom he identified as boobs, that we’ve now seen time and again from Prof. Jonathan Gruber.

For another thing, Mencken finally fell out of favor, even with the boobs, when he made his affection for Adolf Hitler a little too obvious in the 1930s. And, finally, at the time he wrote those lines, the President was Woodrow Wilson and in a few months would be Warren G. Harding, two of the very worst rodents to have ever planted their rumps in the Oval Office. So, far from being prescient, Mencken was seemingly unaware of what was taking place right under his shnoz.

As for Obama, whom I grant is even worse than Wilson and Harding, in defending his use of executive action to defer the deportation of illegal aliens, he said he had to do what he had to do because Congress wouldn’t do what he wanted. However, for five years, he was telling Hispanic groups that he lacked the constitutional authority to do the very thing he is now threatening.

And because most congressional Hispanics have their lips glued to Obama’s butt, they never asked why he didn’t simply pass legislation during his first two years in office, when the Democrats had a stranglehold on the House and Senate.

But, then, my fellow Jews in Congress never confront Obama over the fact that at the same time he spits on Israel, he invariably plays up to Muslims and Arabs, both here and abroad.

Clearly, at least for Jewish and Latino Democrats, an essential part of the congressional initiation process is voluntary neutering.

By now, we all know that the unemployment rate has become a joke. All people have to do is drop out of the labor market in order to make an 11% unemployment rate appear to be a mere 5.8%. But recently, a poll disclosed that 40% of women, 28% of men and 39% of young people, don’t even want a job. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 93% of all adults (86 million people) who aren’t in the work force don’t wish to be in the work force. And so long as Uncle Barack is willing to redistribute wealth by taxing those who are working to subsidize those who aren’t, that number will only keep growing.

Once the Republican mission in Congress goes from stopping Obama in his tracks to actually doing something to reverse America’s decline, they will have to do something about programs that feed, clothe, house and hospitalize, the able-bodied.

That also includes the millions who have committed fraud in order to receive monthly disability checks. If I were in charge, I would send an inspector to the home of everyone collecting one of those checks. And unless the recipient could prove what particular disability he’s afflicted with, the inspector would be authorized to hit him with a sledge hammer, thus legitimizing his claim.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?