Wednesday, April 16, 2014

IF I WERE A FOX CONTRIBUTOR


Recently, Laura Ingraham was a guest on Howard Kurtz’s Sunday Fox show, “Media Buzz.” She offered what I thought was an intelligent solution to a problem that has been annoying me for some time.

As we all know, Fox remains an oasis on TV, the only news network that isn’t in the tank for Obama and the liberals. However, in attempting to comply with Roger Ailes’ desire that Fox be “fair and balanced,” too many shows have fallen into the habit of teaming up a liberal and a conservative, and having them spend five or ten raucous minutes shouting over each other and trading insults. We wind up with a lot of heat and absolutely no light.

Ingraham’s suggestion was to unload the liberals and, instead, invite conservatives on board and let them hash out their differences. She’s right. We already know the liberal positions because we read them in every newspaper and we hear them trumpeted every day over at the three major networks, along with CNN and MSNBC.

It would be far more enlightening to hear Republicans share their differences over immigration reform, same-sex marriages, gun laws, health care and foreign policy. What’s more, we would be spared ever again having to listen to the likes of Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel and Alan Colmes, flapping their gums.

In a related matter, if members of the media, people like Juan Williams and Rachel Maddow, are going to tell us how wonderful the Affordable Care Act is, I want them to announce whether they’ve signed up for the platinum, gold or silver, plan. And if they haven’t, it only goes to show how much brass they have to constantly act as shills for ObamaCare.

In 2012, pollster Nate Silver was the darling of the Left because he not only predicted that Obama would be re-elected, but got every swing state right. Then, for an encore, he predicted which turkey would receive a presidential pardon. This year, simply because he said that the GOP had a 60% chance of taking back the Senate, they suddenly began questioning not only his honesty and qualifications, but his legitimacy. Talk about killing the messenger. If they take a mere prediction this hard, imagine how they’ll carry on when they actually lose the Senate and watch Harry Reid revert, Cinderella-like, from the second most powerful politician in Washington to just another cranky mouse.

The pro-abortion females, composed for the most part of women who keep telling us how empowered they are, give the game away every time they pretend they can’t afford a few bucks a month for birth control pills, and need the rest of us to finance their sex lives.

Another annoying habit of theirs is to equate abortions with health care. How is it they inevitably fail to factor in the cost to the emotional and mental well-being of those who undergo the procedure? I don’t buy for a second that most women don’t pay a huge price for ending the life that is taking place inside their wombs.

Obviously, I am not referring to the likes of Sandra Fluke, Wendy Davis and the cold-blooded harridans who hang out at Planned Parenthood, and who seem to believe that murdering the defenseless is their birthright.

Some of those man-on-the-street interviews that have begun to permeate late night television are just plain funny. But recently, a man took his camera and microphone to the campus of American University, which just happens to be located in Washington, D.C. He asked a cross section of students if they could identify just one current member of the U.S. Senate. Most could not.

He also asked how many senators there are. They didn’t know that, either, so it’s no surprise they also had no idea how many senators are allotted to each state. Their embarrassing guesses ranged from five to a dozen.

But all is not lost. Almost without exception, they knew that the hit song from the animated film “Frozen” was “Let It Go.”

Understand that unlike most of those segments that are shot on Hollywood Boulevard or in Times Square, where you wouldn’t stand out from the crowd if you were dressed up as a gorilla or were wearing two coke spoons as earrings, this is a place where the yearly tuition is $41,316.

I suppose that some would say that parents who balked at forking over $165,264 for an education that apparently places a higher premium on music trivia than on civics are cheap and small-minded.

I, on the other hand, would say that parents who subsidize their children’s education only to discover they don’t know the first thing about their government are not cheap and not necessarily small-minded, but they are definitely suckers.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Monday, April 14, 2014

MOVIN’ ON UP TO THE WHITE HOUSE


There used to be a TV sit com in the 80s called “The Jeffersons.” The central characters were a married black couple, George and Louise. George had worked hard and parlayed one dry cleaning store into a successful chain, enabling them to move into an expensive apartment in a luxurious high-rise. Success quickly went to George’s head, turning him into a blowhard and a bigot. Critics referred to him as the black Archie Bunker.

When I look at Barack Obama, aside from the hard work, I unfortunately see a lot of George Jefferson in him, when what the nation needs is a president more reminiscent of Thomas Jefferson.

Like George, there is nothing Obama finds more enchanting than the sound of his own pomposities. But whereas Mrs. Jefferson was a kind and sensible woman who did her best to keep her husband from floating off on his own hot air emissions, Obama’s wife is not only an enabler, but is a royal pain in her own right.

For instance, in the tradition of people named Obama to trash America when they’re in foreign lands, Michelle told the Chinese that it wasn’t long ago that there were laws on the books that discriminated against people like her and her husband. It was bad enough that she didn’t play up the fact that it was also thanks to America that she, as a beneficiary of Affirmative Action, went to an Ivy League school, and, oh, by the way, her husband has twice been elected President. But even worse is that she chose to whine in a country where couples are prohibited from having two children, regularly abort females, and where people are required to have internal passports before they can move from a rural area to a nearby city.

However she feels about the past, it would only be good manners if just once she expressed a word of gratitude to the American people for picking up the tab so that she, the kids and her mother, could scratch so many items off their respective bucket lists.

One final thing she neglected to mention was that all of those vile discriminatory laws were written, enacted and enforced, by Democrats like Orval Faubus, George Wallace, Albert Gore, Robert Byrd and “Bull” Connor.

Speaking of Democrats, I began referring to Harry Reid as “The Undertaker” because he looks and sounds like the stereotype we all grew up with, but the other day it occurred to me that the moniker is even more appropriate because his chosen role as the Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate is to bury any piece of legislation passed by the House Republicans, while at the same time deriding them as do-nothing obstructionists.

Until she killed herself, I had never heard of fashion designer L’Wren Scott, 70 year old Mick Jagger’s 49 year old lady friend. Not being religious, I don’t have a basis upon which to condemn her act. Without knowing what led her to hang herself, I simply assumed she felt she had a good reason to commit what I have heard described as a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

But, being nosy, I decided to check her out. It seems her real name was Laura Bambrough, and that she invented that cockamamie name with the apostrophe all on her own. Perhaps the explanation is that having been 6’3”, she had banged her head once too often on low-hanging branches.

However, what I found unpardonable was that a woman had reached middle age and was so unconcerned with other people or charitable causes that instead of leaving her $9 million estate to friends, relatives, medical research, wounded British soldiers or even an orphanage for cats and dogs, the dingbat left it to Mr. Jagger, who is already worth $328 million!

As many of you already know, I despise college athletics because they are so rife with corruption. Now, the National Labor Relations Board, which never met a union it didn’t adore, has decided that the football players at Northwestern are free to unionize. So it is no longer enough that the ability to play a game garners these guys free college tuition, food, health care and an unlimited number of cheerleaders; now the NLRB thinks they should also get a paycheck.

Back in the day, there was a joke going around that college all stars like Kyle Rote (SMU), Hugh McElhenny (U of Washington) and Charlie “Choo-Choo” Justice (U of North Carolina), all had to take pay cuts when they turned pro. Thanks to the chowderheads over at the NLRB, it could soon be reality.

Bruce Braley, who’s running for the Senate in Iowa, dissed Sen. Chuck Grassley as a farmer who, unlike himself, never attended law school. Knocking farmers in Iowa strikes me as a very goofy campaign strategy. But even goofier, it would seem to me, is actually bragging about being a lawyer.

Finally, the world’s diplomatic buffoons are running victory laps after signing yet another of those absurd nuclear non-proliferation pacts, even though among those not signing were Russia, China, India and Pakistan.

Still, I’m sure we’ll all be sleeping better tonight knowing that Lichtenstein, Luxembourg and Papua, will not be nuking anyone in the near future.

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