Friday, August 28, 2015

Sodom & Gomorrah, Here We Come!

Because Barack Obama says he wants his administration to look more like America, he recently appointed Raffi Freedman-Gurspan to be the director of the White House Office of Personnel. I’m not sure what that title means, either, but that’s not really important. What matters is that Mr. Freedman-Gurspan is the first transgender to ever be a White House official. At least his/her/its being a transgender makes that goofy hyphen slightly more appropriate than is usually the case.

So it is that one more item gets scratched off Obama’s bucket list. It does raise the question, though, why it is necessary that this freak be given a slot in the White House, when there are, fortunately, only a handful of these critters in the entire nation. On the other hand, there are tens of millions of conservatives, and yet Obama has resisted the urge to give any of them a cushy job.

But, then, this is the same guy who is always Johnny-on-the-spot with a phone call and a shout-out whenever a homosexual athlete ventures out of the closet. One gets the feeling that if he thought he could get away with it, Obama would turn the White House into a replica of a San Francisco bathhouse.

One has come to assume lunacy in places like New York, Massachusetts and California, but apparently the liberal virus is more virulent and fast-moving than the notorious bird flu. For instance, in Connecticut, the state Supreme Court has ruled that all executions are unconstitutional.

As if that’s not bad enough, seven years ago an 11-year-old girl, who was a next door neighbor, had her two best friends, along with their mother, raped and murdered. But, today, as radio talk show host Dennis Prager recently pointed out, at the age of 18, she has been brainwashed so successfully by the media and her teachers that she insists it would be wrong to execute the two barbarians responsible for the crimes.

Meanwhile, in Tennessee, a state court has insisted that the designation of Mother and Father on birth certificates be replaced by Parent One and Parent Two, all because homosexuals, who represent 4% of America’s adoptive parents, must be accommodated.

In the nation’s mad rush to concern itself with the tender sensibilities of minorities, the majority are being compelled to live in a bizarre universe where black thugs, illegal aliens and sexual oddballs, are treated with the sort of coddling generally reserved for little babies, sacred cows and the Ayatollah Khamenei.

Although I don’t make it a practice to tune in on Rush Limbaugh, some of my friends do. One of them, Art Hershey, let me know that Rush recently said that if he had the opportunity to interview Hillary, he would say: “Mrs. Clinton, let me mention seven names: Paula Jones, Juanita Broadrick, Kathleen Willey, Gennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinsky, Beth Dozoretz and Denise Rich. Now tell us: How can you look at anyone with a straight face and talk to them about family values, when it takes a village to satisfy your husband?”

I know that a lot of people on our side of the aisle have been going after Megyn Kelly because she dared to ask Donald Trump one of the many questions he would prefer not to be asked. I thought it was a fair question, but, then, I haven’t signed on to be a member of Trump’s Praetorian Guard.

That’s not to say that I am totally on board with Megyn. At times, I regret to say, she has shown signs of morphing into a diva ever since Roger Ailes placed her front and center on Fox. There are times I can’t help thinking she is devoting more time to selecting her wardrobe than to selecting her guests.

Frankly, I had assumed that nobody could be worse than those idiots Bill O’Reilly regularly sprang on us. But there are times when I look back on Bob Beckel, Alan Colmes, Juan Williams, Leslie Marshall, Marc Lamont Hill and Geraldo Rivera, almost with a sense of nostalgia.

I have no idea where Ms. Kelly dug up the arrogant Richard Fowler and the downright spooky Robert Zimmerman, but she should get busy with that shovel and bury them before anyone at Forest Lawn notices that they’re gone missing.

Speaking of wardrobes, Fowler, who is identified as a nationally syndicated radio host, although nobody had ever heard of him, must have a bigger closet than Imelda Marcos. He always shows up dressed to the nines, as the old saying goes. But like a cheap Christmas gift that tries to fool you with the wrapping, he is nothing but a second-hand Marc Lamont Hill, black and full of himself. Like Rand Paul and Kirsten Powers, he is obviously a graduate of the American Academy of Smugness.

As for Mr. Zimmerman, who looks as if he has never seen daylight and can only be killed with a silver bullet or a wooden stake through the heart, is apparently a P.R. man who works for the DNC. The way he postures and preens, one would assume that at some point he had given serious thought to pursuing an acting career. It’s probably just as well that he didn’t because he would have been typecast as a zombie or a purveyor of child porn.

Finally, a reader, who is even more cynical than I am when it comes to the political scene, wrote to say that there is no candidate on the horizon who will be acceptable to the majority of American voters. “This,” he pointed out, “is usually fertile ground for a political coup.”

I replied: “Hey, this is still America, buddy! Keep 2008 and 2012 in mind. It’s pretty obvious that when we want a coup, we elect a coup.”

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Dueling Egos

It goes without saying, though I’ll say it nevertheless, that it takes an enormous ego to imagine oneself the president of the United States. Imagine waking up one morning and deciding that nobody in a nation of 320 million is better suited to be the most powerful man or woman in the world; or, if not the world, at least in the United States.

Cartoons used to be filled with little guys wearing bicorne hats, with their right arms stuck inside their vests, and we knew that the joke had something to do with crazy people laboring under the delusion they were Napoleon Bonaparte. Today, those crazy people are all seeking the presidency.

Although we’ve seen plenty of egotists duking it out over the years -- Lincoln and Douglas, Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt, FDR and Wendell Willkie, Kennedy and Nixon -- I think they would all pale compared to a clash of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. To be fair, Trump at least has a bunch of tall buildings and golf courses on his resume, whereas all that Mrs. Clinton can point to is a marriage license.

If there wasn’t a chance that Hillary Clinton could wind up in the Oval Office, it would actually be very comical watching her try to shake off the email scandal the way a dog tries to shake water off itself. Even she must know how silly it is to suggest that the F.B.I., the New York Times, a couple of inspector generals, Obama’s highly partisan Justice Department and liberal icon Bob Woodward, are all a part of the vast right-wing conspiracy out to sink her candidacy.

I used to complain that Iowa had no business playing such an instrumental role at election time. That still holds true because Iowa remains one of the least representative states in the Union. The least representative, of course, is New Hampshire, both in terms of size and demographics.

But these days I have a more tolerant attitude because I’m getting such a kick out of watching all the candidates showing up, trying to pretend they grew up milking cows and tossing around cow pies. I’ve even seen Scott Walker and Carly Fiorina showing up at the State Fair wearing their very first pairs of blue jeans.

But so far nothing beats Hillary Clinton munching on some revolting item called a pork chop on-a-stick. I’m sure there must be worst-sounding foods, but unless it’s a monkey burger, I can’t imagine what it might be.

The question is whether in the off-years, Iowans get along with standard fare like hot dogs, hamburgers and cotton candy, and if they only roll out the deep-fried Milky Ways and the chocolate covered chunky bacon maple nougat on-a-stick for laughs when the political hucksters roll into town.

Proving itself to be the equivalent of a drunken sailor on leave, California passed the Clean Energy Jobs Act in 2012, which they swore would create 11,000 jobs-a-year for the foreseeable future. In the three years since it was passed, 1,700 jobs have been created. But when things are being run by the likes of Jerry Brown and his trained fleas in Sacramento, promising 11,000 jobs-a-year and coming up with 567 is what we in California have learned to call a darn good try.

When it comes to offering sanctuary to illegal aliens, California takes a backseat to nobody. As if the reality weren’t bad enough, those responsible for the madness continue to tell us that open borders are not only humane, but a financial boon for America. How can it be humane that illegal aliens are stealing jobs from American citizens? But when you realize that $338 billion a year is squandered by the feds and the states providing welfare, education and incarceration, for untold millions, it is even harder to spot the financial bonanza.

When you factor in the emotional cost of the murders, rapes and child molestations, committed by many of these interlopers, the big lie becomes even more apparent and far more tragic.

The 14th Amendment was ratified in 1868 for the purpose of granting legal status to ex-slaves who were brought to America against their will. It has required generations of half-witted judges to decide it grants similar rights to the babies of women who snuck across our border to give birth. It would make as much sense if an illegal alien snuck into your home to deliver a baby and then argued that the kid, and therefore his parents, are entitled to take up permanent residence.

The Smithsonian has seen fit to display a bust of Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, in a place of honor. This is the same woman who popularized eugenics, making a staunch believer out of Adolf Hitler with her insistence that those whom she deemed unfit to reproduce -- namely, blacks, Jews and Italians -- should undergo mandatory sterilization.

The irony is that she is a hero to the Left, although if her plans had been carried out here in the States, no Democrat in the past 50 years would have been elected president.

When people demonstrated in Poland, Hungary, Iran, Syria and China, it was to seek freedom from tyranny. In the United States, it’s nearly always the mob that takes to the streets, whether it was Chicago in 1968, L.A. in 1992, or Ferguson and Baltimore in the past year.

Other nations saw freedom fighters confront the Soviet, Chinese and Islamic, despots; here it’s the despots calling themselves Yippies, Occupy Wall Streeters or members of the Black Lives Matter movement, whose goal is nothing more than to create chaos, attack the police with impunity, and to turn the clock back on civilization.

In a sane world, these nitwits would be deep fried, stuck on sticks and served at the Iowa State Fair.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?