Monday, September 1, 2014

Eric Holder & Hiroshima

Attorney General and all around scum-bucket Eric Holder felt it imperative to rush off to Ferguson, MO, to toss in his two cents worth of gas on a burning fire. He could have pointed out that the reason there is 50% unemployment among the black males in town, men who have nothing better to do than cause mischief for the benefit of the TV cameras, was because three-quarters of them never even finish high school. Instead, he took the opportunity to let them know he shared their grievances against the police because twice in his younger days, he, too, had been – oh, the humanity! -- stopped by traffic cops.

The odd thing is that I am a white man roughly 10 years older than Holder, and I was stopped by cops about a dozen times between the ages of 13 and 21. The first couple of times, I was stopped by Beverly Hills cops because we lived in an apartment just outside the city border, and, so, if I were spotted walking or riding my bike at dusk, on my way home from the playground or on my way to a book store, I would find myself being questioned by the guys in blue. Nobody, they would explain, exaggerating only slightly, walked or rode a bicycle in Beverly Hills after sunset.

Once I began driving, I was stopped on a regular basis even by L.A. cops because I looked too young to be driving legally. Finally, by the time I was going to UCLA, and work on the Daily Bruin would occasionally keep me on campus until late at night, I was often stopped and questioned by those same Beverly Hills cops on my way home. But now it was because, as they pointed out, nobody rode a motorcycle before or after dusk in Beverly Hills.

Whether or not Mr. Holder believes me, I never took it amiss. I did not think they were picking on me because I was young or short or Jewish. I believed they stopped me because I looked suspicious to them, and I figured they were just earning their salaries, and that if I had their job, I, too, would be stopping me and asking a few questions.

What Holder doesn’t mention is that, as a young man, he had been an Afro-haired college activist who had been part of a student uprising at Columbia University that took over and held an ROTC building for five days in 1970. Because even back then, college administrators were a gaggle of cowards, he wasn’t booted out on his butt, but allowed to hang around and get a law degree.

Only someone as race-fixated as Barack Obama would have appointed Holder in the first place or stood by while his attorney general refused to indict the Black Panthers for intimidating white voters in Philadelphia.

Speaking of Obama, the thing I have come to understand about him is that in addition to being a leftist with a scary agenda, a bigot and a narcissist, he is an adolescent. That’s why he’s so lazy. Sometimes, students are bored because they’re very bright and grasp a subject so quickly that they tend to doze off while waiting for their fellow classmates to catch up. Other times, students are bored because they are those other classmates and simply can’t grasp the lesson.

And sometimes, as I believe is the case with Obama, it’s because their minds are so lazy and self-absorbed that the only things they can manage to focus on for any length of time are those amusements such as golf and basketball or attending galas, that simply don’t call for mental discipline.

Recently, I wrote an article in which I gave thanks for the A-bombs that brought World War II to a speedy conclusion, thus saving the lives of a great many Americans, including some friends and relatives of mine, who would otherwise have had to go through the hell of invading the Japanese mainland.

One of my readers wrote the following: “Dear Burt, I’m sure you have not thought through the implications of your observation that the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was justified. I, too, am a veteran of WWII. I was in the South Pacific preparing to invade Japan when the bombs were dropped. True, I felt a sense of relief, but it was a tragic day for the world. Morally, the end does not justify the means. The saving of a million lives does not justify the murder of one innocent person, let alone hundreds of thousands.

“The atom bombs could have been dropped on military targets. Surely there were plenty of those available. An atomic bomb dropped in the middle of the ocean could have made the point. The decision to incinerate thousands of innocent people can never be morally justified no matter what the end result would be. It is a blot on the character of the American people. In your heart of hearts, I know you feel the same way.”

In response, I wrote, “Actually, I don’t agree. For one thing, it’s easy to say soldiers are fair game, but what about the farmers who keep the enemy fed or the civilians working in the factories that supply their weaponry? Why shouldn’t they be considered military targets?

“By the time the bombs were dropped, the Japanese had been killing people throughout Asia for an entire decade, and turning tens of thousands of Chinese and Korean women into sex slaves for their soldiers. They bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor, killing a great many Americans. And let us not forget Corregidor, Iwo Jima and the death marches.

“I would also argue that the saving of a million innocent lives by the taking of one innocent life is absolutely moral, although anyone who would propose such a deal would obviously be satanic. And while I’m not saying I would want to be that one person, soldiers who throw themselves on live hand grenades in order to spare their comrades, together with many of those first responders on 9/11, have sacrificed their own lives for far less than a million other lives.

“Are you under the impression that an armed invasion of Japan would have only resulted in Japanese casualties? You also overlook the fact that it took the second bomb, dropped three days later, to finally force the Emperor to surrender. Therefore, I don’t think that dropping a bomb in the ocean would have sufficed. Instead, it would have probably led the Japanese to think we couldn’t hit what we aimed at. It sounds as if you would also condemn Israel for killing civilians in Gaza in the process of defending itself against endless terrorist attacks.

“It’s easy enough for you to decry the bombs 69 years after they probably saved your life and the lives of your buddies, but that only makes you self-righteous, not right.

“If it eases your pain, keep in mind that it is probably only because of the lasting impression made by those bombs that no such bombs have been employed in the years since. I, on the other hand, would drop a couple on Iran if that’s what it took to keep them out of the hands of the mullahs.

“Thank you for your service all those years ago….and thanks, too, to Harry Truman and the A-bomb for making it possible for you to live an additional 69 years. Regards, Burt”

Ross Porter of Calabasas, CA, won the August drawing. A copy of "67 Conservatives" is on its way.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, August 29, 2014

Trayvon Martin, Meet Michael Brown

All it took for Al Sharpton and the other race hustlers to rush off to Ferguson, Missouri, was for a 6’4,” 250-pound gangbanger named Michael Brown to be shot while struggling for a cop’s gun. That’s also all it took for Eric Holder to decide to send the F.B.I. in to investigate what he decided within mere hours was a federal crime.

My question is why none of these actions are ever taken when, as is usually the case, it’s some black thug who’s killing other black people in Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia and L.A.  Perhaps it’s because if they did, Mr. Sharpton wouldn’t have the time left to host his MSNBC show and even Eric Holder would have to start skipping meals if he wanted to keep calling white people “racists” on what seems to be a daily basis.

As for Barack Obama, after finding a moral equivalence between Israel and Hamas, it wasn’t too surprising that he did the same when it came to the rabble who were rioting and looting in Ferguson and the members of the Ferguson P.D. who were merely trying to protect the law-abiding citizens and the businesses that employ them and serve their community.

Clearly, the president is a hollow shell without a moral compass.  In fact, if anyone ever decided to stage a production of “The Wizard of Oz,” they could do it on the cheap by hiring Obama to play all three of Dorothy’s traveling companions.  Unlike Ray Bolger, Jack Haley and Bert Lahr, this fellow was born to portray a man without a brain, a man without a heart and a third who lacked courage.

Although I have seen a number of photos on the Internet showing young Mr. Brown flashing gang signs that suggest he was an active member of the Bloods, the photos I haven’t seen, I’m happy to say, are those showing him as a cherubic-looking 10-year-old, as was the case with the 6’2” Trayvon Martin.

As you may have noticed, Hillary Clinton has been trashing Barack Obama’s foreign policy lately, hoping that we’ll all forget that as his Secretary of State, she implemented most of it for four long years, and that as recently as a few months ago she doubled down on the reset with Russia, insisting, with a straight face, that it was brilliant statecraft.

In the Middle East, we have the clearest divide between good and evil that has existed since World War II.  On one side, we have peace-loving Christians, Jews and Yazidis, while on the other we have blood-lusting Islamic butchers.  Things are so apparent that even the Vatican, against its long-standing tradition, has called for military action.  And, yet, Obama, playing to his left-wing base, keeps assuring our enemies that we will never have boots on the ground.  My question is: why do we even have a military, aside from providing a backdrop on those rare occasions when Obama wants to appear patriotic?

I’m just asking, you understand, but when people join the Army these days, is it with Obama’s personal guarantee that they’ll never be expected to engage in warfare?

When I heard that the divorce rate was going down in America, I took that as a good sign until I discovered it was because the marriage rate has plummeted even faster.  Like just about every other societal calamity, I assume the source of this decline can be traced to our colleges and universities.  One would assume that curriculum devoted to feminist studies, achieving self-induced multiple orgasms, experimenting with homosexuality and the acceptance of transgenderism as an alternate life style, would culminate with a generation that is so self-absorbed that marriage licenses will at some future point only exist at the Smithsonian, along with Jefferson’s writing desk, Franklin’s walking stick and dinosaur bones.

Another contributing factor is the portrayal of marriage on TV and in the movies.  It is usually depicted as armed warfare, with husbands depicted as stupid, boring, close-minded louts and wives pictured as potential high-flyers who would be soaring through the clouds were it not for having had their glorious wings clipped through the twin tragedies of marriage and children.

These days, when laughs are at a premium, I found myself chuckling while watching a documentary dealing with Charley Chaplin’s depiction of Adolph Hitler in “The Great Dictator.”  One of the talking heads in the documentary was Reinhard Spitzy, apparently a friend of Der Fuhrer.  When asked if Hitler, apparently a great fan of American movies, had ever seen Chapin’s satire, Spitzy said he had, and not just once, but twice.

And when asked how Hitler would have reacted to it, Spitzy, insisted “He would have laughed.  Hitler wasn’t dull.  Hitler wasn’t a killjoy, and within the inner circle, he could definitely laugh at jokes.”

If Mel Brooks ever decides to make a sequel to “The Producers” with its “Springtime for Hitler” musical number, he could do a lot worse than “Hitler Wasn’t a Killjoy.”

Finally, someone let me know about a sign that was allegedly posted on the wall above the latrine at a country club.  In my estimation, not since the great English humorist P.G. Wodehouse hung up his niblick, has anyone done a better job of summing up the world of golf: “Welcome to This Facility.  It is the only place on the grounds where nobody will try to change your stance or adjust your grip.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

In the 2 1/2 years I've been requesting donations from readers who might feel guilty about reading my hundreds of essays for free, I have yet to receive even a single response from the following states: Idaho, Iowa, Maryland, Michigan, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming.

Unlike Abe Lincoln, I'm not looking to provoke some unseemly competition between the states, but I'd hate to think that these 12 states are so lacking in pride and patriotism that they'd sit idly by and be outdone by Puerto Rico, Canada and even Thailand!