Monday, July 28, 2014

"Planet of the Apes" and "I'm From The Government..."



Every so often the Palestinians pick a fight with Israel for the sole purpose of provoking the Israelis to retaliate. Once, thanks to the terrorists sticking women and children in target zones, the civilian casualties pile up, the world, led by the U.S., can be counted upon to condemn the Israelis for over-reacting and to then bestow billions of dollars on the provocateurs. That in turn provides the scumbags with the money with which to purchase more missiles and more concrete with which to construct tunnels into Israel.

You never notice anyone pointing out that Germany suffered far more casualties during WWII than America did because it would be so obviously pointless. For one thing, Germany started it. For another thing, if the numbers had been reversed, it would have meant the Nazis had won the war.

Whenever these conflicts between the Jews and the Muslims break out, you can bank on the fact that the media will claim that Israel is out to commit genocide. It is widely accepted that European and, to a lesser extent, American journalists and entertainment figures are anti-Semitic. In some quarters, it’s nearly a prerequisite. As bad as that is, they also feel it essential to leave their powers of logic and reason out in the cold. I mean, when Israel is accused of committing genocide against the Palestinians, wouldn’t you think someone at NBC, ABC or the NY Times might pipe up to say: “Israel is a nuclear power with a modern military equipped with jets and tanks. If they were really out to eliminate those people whose own charter calls for the extermination of Israel, don’t you think that after three weeks, they would have killed more than a thousand Palestinians?”

Here in America, you have a Congress filled with Jewish Democrats, and yet not one of them confronts Obama over his tying funds for Central American immigrants to a bill that calls for us to help Israel purchase replacements for the Iron Dome defense system. It’s the system, by the way, that has prevented most of the 20,000 Palestinian missiles from landing, missiles that, had they landed, would have resulted in civilian fatalities that would have dwarfed what the Palestinians have experienced.

The sharp-eyed among you would have noticed that I haven’t mentioned Hamas. That is because I no longer differentiate between the terrorist organization and those who elected and continue to support them.

One so often hears about the Israeli occupation of Gaza, especially on college campuses and in newsrooms, but does anyone really believe that if such an occupation actually existed, the Palestinians could continue to fire all those rockets and dig all those damn tunnels with such impunity?

A friend of mine wrote to say he couldn’t figure out why Jewish supporters of Israel such as Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz and Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks, continue to support the current administration. After all, on their best days, Obama and John Kerry claim to see a moral equivalence between Israel and its Arab and Muslim enemies, and, on their more candid days, clearly side with the riffraff who continue referring to America as the Big Satan.

The fact remains that so far as most Jewish liberals are concerned, the continued existence of Israel has a lower priority than same-sex marriages, open borders, abortions on demand, legalized drugs, gun control, unions, climate change and an ever-expanding federal government.

Another area where this administration is clearly out of sync with the majority of Americans is illegal immigration. Obama constantly refers to something called “comprehensive immigration reform.” But inasmuch as neither he nor congressional Democrats ever propose legislation that calls for an extension of the wall, along with armed border agents patrolling the Rio Grande, it makes about as much sense as trying to contain water in a sieve. It’s reminiscent of the days when Obama used to describe his energy policy as “all of the above,” while excluding oil, coal and nuclear power, from the list.

When it comes to promoting what amounts to open borders, the liberals are constantly telling us that we need all those unskilled, illiterate, Hispanics to do the work Americans won’t do. It’s as if they’re pretending that every American is carting around a Ph.D in advanced calculus and can’t possibly be expected to do manual labor. I contend that this country is rife with unskilled native-born illiterates who just happen to prefer collecting welfare to working.

I’m willing to predict that if you boot all those able-bodied loafers off the dole, they will suddenly discover that they’re only too happy to bus tables, flip burgers and put up drywall.

With the November elections less than 90 days away, it’s not too soon to remind people that whether you favor the Tea Party, the GOP establishment or the Libertarian wing of the party, you have a lot more in common with each other than you have with Obama, Reid, Pelosi and their congressional enablers. If you don’t get out and vote for whichever candidates have an R after their name, I say you forfeit your right to gripe about the awful direction in which America is headed.




I'm From The Government..."



Ronald Reagan once observed that “I’m from the government and I’m here to help” were the nine scariest words an American could hear. But he said that about 30 years ago. With all that has transpired since then, particularly over the past six years, what an American hears when confronted by a federal bureaucrat, whether representing the IRS, the EPA, the NSA or the FBI is “I’m from the government and I’m here to (snoop), (take your money), (take your land), (take your cattle), (take your liberty), (take your religion) and/or (take your birthright).”

Speaking of the IRS, the Heritage Foundation recently came up with a graph proving that along with all their other lies, one of the biggest concocted by the Democrats is the one about the rich not paying their fair share when it comes to income taxes. It seems that the top one percent of income earners suck up 17% of the money, but pay a whopping 37% of the taxes!

The top 2-5% rake in 15% of the dough, but pay 22% of the total taxes. It’s only when you get to the top 5-10% that things begin to even out; those folks take in 11% and pay out 12%. The top 10-25% earn 23% and pay out 17%. Those who fall into the top 25-50% earn 21%, but pay only 10% of the tax. Finally, the bottom 50% earn 12%, but kick in a measly two percent. These numbers must be a real eye-opener to those na├»ve souls who don’t believe that socialism is alive and well in America.

Democratic politicians don’t have a monopoly when it comes to hypocrisy, but sometimes it sure seems that way. For instance the governor of Maryland, Democrat Martin O’Malley, has been one of the loudest voices in the left-wing chorus calling for the U.S. to provide a home to the thousands of Central American youngsters flooding across our border. A show of hands, please -- is anyone really surprised that when O’Malley pleads for America to roll out the welcome mat, it turns out he means anywhere but Maryland?

Thanks to Obama’s dithering over Iran, Syria, Gaza, Iraq and Ukraine, the world has rarely been such a dangerous place. And yet he claims it is as tranquil as the Garden of Eden. On the home front, he and his criminal cohort, Eric Holder, continue to ignore scandals involving the IRS, the VA, the EPA and Benghazi, all the while trying to fend off those seeking answers and looking to punish the guilty, by referring to ongoing investigations. Apparently, when these two schmucks refer to “ongoing,” they really mean “endless” and “phony.”

Another popular lie that’s been circulating ever since a bi-sexual freak named Alfred Kinsey, who conducted the most unscientific survey since Margaret Mead bid adieu to Samoa, insisted that about 10% of Americans were homosexual.

Recently, a government survey that, unlike Kinsey, did not overly rely on responses from prostitutes, prisoners and pedophiles, found that 96.6% of Americans are straight, 1.6% are gay or lesbian and 0.7% are bisexual. Apparently 1.1% decided it was nobody’s damn business.

Predictably, a spokesperson for the Lesbian Gay Bi and Transgender group (LGBT) cried foul! He, she or it, insisted that the numbers were much higher, but that lots of people simply refuse to be honest. Oh, really? When every movie, TV show and magazine, conveys the message that being lesbian, gay, bi, a tranny or having sexual relations with farm animals is cool, I suspect that some of the straight respondents – especially those in Hollywood and the media – lied in order to further their careers.

Some years ago, conservatives were being called the Silent Majority. These days, I think those whose sexual practices so titillated Dr. Kinsey should be referred to as the Noisy Minority.

Finally, during his last State of the Union address, Barack Obama said he would legislate with his pen and his phone. Led by Nancy Pelosi, House Democrats immediately rose to give Obama, the man who had just vowed to castrate Congress, a rousing ovation. That having been the case, how dare any House Democrat run for re-election? Why should anyone go to the bother of voting for them? Why should anyone pay them a salary or a pension? For that matter, why should anyone pay good money to provide them with office space and a staff?

After all, a rubberstamp only costs a couple of bucks, it doesn’t require a staff and it fits very comfortably into one of Obama’s desk drawers.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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Friday, July 25, 2014

Drug Cartels & Left-Wing Cults


We are told that the thousands of Central American kids streaming into America aren’t really illegal aliens, that, instead, they’re refugees from those Central American countries where the drug cartels rule. My brainstorm is that we stop worrying about Muslims killing Muslims in the Middle East and, instead, send our military to Honduras, Salvador and Guatemala, to wipe out their gangsters. Then the kids could safely return to where they came from.

Simultaneously, we could send the National Guard into Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Newark and Washington, D.C., to clean out our own gangs. Even Rand Paul couldn’t object to employing the military to defeat our native-born enemies, and make inner-city neighborhoods safe for law-abiding citizens.

Secretary of State John (“Mr. Ed”) Kerry and his European cohorts like to pretend that they are making progress with Iran because that is what negotiators, otherwise known as eunuchs with diplomatic immunity, do. I mean, everyone knows that you don’t need plutonium for any benign use of nuclear energy. But these lunkheads are so desperate to make it appear they’re earning their salaries and all those fancy meals at five star restaurants, that they’ve mastered the art of turning a blind eye to the 800-pound Islamic gorilla defecating in the middle of the room.

In the meantime, Barack Obama announces that we live in a world that has rarely been so tranquil. But, to be fair, that is probably how it appears to someone who spends his life on uncrowded golf courses or being surrounded by adoring acolytes at $30,000-a-plate fund-raisers.

It continues to astonish me how little coverage the media expends when the Palestinians fire rockets into Israel and how much moral outrage they muster when Israel, inevitably portrayed as the aggressor in the world press, eventually strikes back.

Inasmuch as warning civilians to evacuate buildings before a bombing also serves to alert the terrorists, these pathetic attempts by Israel to generate sympathy for their cause strike me as the height of foolishness. For one thing, the anti-Semitic American and European media will never be won over. For another, the terrorists in Gaza and the West Bank don’t wear uniforms, so, in a sense, the Palestinians are always able to maintain that even those firing missiles into Israel are civilians.
For the life of me, I have never understood why for the longest time, both Israel and the United States have refused to go into battle with the idea of winning a war and, instead, are only too happy to play for a tie.

At least Israel has never lacked for politicians who have had the ability to succinctly voice the differences between themselves and their enemies, and who also happen to speak English better than our own. It was Prime Minister Golda Meir who said that she hoped that one day “the Arabs would love their children more than they hate ours.” It was Israel’s ambassador to the U.N., Abba Eban, who, in reference to peace negotiations between the two people, pointed out that “the Palestinians never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.” And it is the current prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, who recently noted that “We’re using missile defenses to protect our citizens and they’re using their citizens to protect their missiles.”

The Democrats always respond to any mention of Obama’s plummeting approval numbers by pointing out that the numbers for Congress are even worse. That’s even sillier than comparing apples to oranges, which at least are both fruits. While it’s true that most people hold Congress in contempt, they tend to like their own representative. That’s why incumbents usually win re-election. The exception to that rule is when the people feel the president is doing a particularly lousy job, which explains why the Democrats not only lost control of the House and five seats in the Senate over the past four years, but why Obama is the only two term president in American history to garner fewer votes in his second election.

At this point, Obama is so toxic that the only way the Democrats have a chance of hanging on to the Senate is to cheat this November. They always cheat, but they will be more desperate than usual to keep Harry Reid in the driver’s seat. Therefore, they will not only cheat when counting the ballots, but will also use the more sophisticated approach of running one of their own in the general elections, a fraud who will self-identify as a Tea Party favorite, hoping to fool low information Republicans into splitting their votes. So if you happen to be one of those people who don’t follow politics religiously, do us all a big favor and stay home on Election Day.

The Senate Banking Committee is actually proposing legislation to secure home loans for the high risk (read: minority) community. This was the same sort of pandering that brought on the real estate bubble and the financial collapse of 2008. But, heck, that was all of six years ago, constituting ancient history so far as Harry Reid and the minority vote-trolling Democrats are concerned.

The other day I received a joke email that stated that Chicago is famous for three things: Pizza, Gangsters and Corrupt politicians. It concluded: One thing that can be said with certainly is that Obama is definitely not a pizza.

For my part, it occurred to me that Dinesh D’Souza titled his book and movie: “America: Where Would the World Be without Her?” and that a similar book could be titled “Barack Obama: Where Would the World Be without Him?” It would be a very short book, as the obvious answer is: a whole lot better off.

Finally, you may have heard that the Selective Services System mailed out 14,000 notices to Pennsylvania men born between 1893 and 1897. When I heard about it, I naturally assumed they were being notified that their appointments at the VA were finally being scheduled. It turned out they were being ordered to register for the draft.

A while back, TV recruiting commercials were telling us that the modern Army isn’t your father’s Army. No, I guess not. Apparently it’s your great-great-grandfather’s Army!

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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