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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

COPING MECHANISMS

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by Burt Prelutsky

I will frankly admit I find it increasingly difficult to share the same planet as leftists. That’s because I believe they are all insane. They say such things as “We all belong to the state” or “It takes a village to raise a child” with a straight face. One might say that a North Korean belongs to the state, but an American?

To tell the truth, the only way I have found to cope with liberals is by ridiculing them every chance I get.

Does anyone but an idiot believe that folks like Jefferson, Washington and Franklin, went to all that trouble to create a nation that was basically the same as the English monarchy?

Just how is it that it takes a village to raise a child, but any female, even one as young as 12 or 13, is entitled to have it murdered by someone like Kermit Gosnell before the village gets their hands on it?

Lest anyone ever forget, Barack Obama, while in the Illinois legislature, not only voted in favor of late term abortions, but voted in favor of killing any tots who, miraculously, managed to survive the butchery. Furthermore, unlike same-sex marriages, transparency in government and the Patriot Act, Obama has not evolved even the slightest little bit when it comes to this particular issue.

Speaking of he who should go back to community-organizing, I immediately thought of Obama when I heard about the letter sent to a casting agency by the Canadian Broadcasting Company. The CBC was looking for someone to host an afternoon TV show. But they didn’t want just anyone to apply. In order to qualify, the person had to be good with kids, love physical comedy and enjoy hanging out with puppets all day. The job was open to people of any gender, so long as they weren’t white. I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if they had sent the job offer directly to the White House.

For one thing, we know Obama likes spending time with his daughters, especially when the taxpayer is picking up the tab. Next, anyone who saw him sink only two of the 22 shots he took on Easter Sunday knows he is Buster Keaton’s equal when it comes to physical comedy. And, finally, after spending four years pulling the strings of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Charley Rangel, Henry Waxman and Jay Carney, he has already put in more time with puppets than Burr Tillstrom, Jim Henson and Mr. Rogers, put together.

An odd fact I recently came across is that if you’re treated for COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) at the Bayonne Hospital Center in New Jersey, the cost is $99,490. However, just 30 miles away, at the Lincoln Medical Center in the Bronx, it will run you $7,094. I can’t possibly explain the discrepancy or recommend one hospital over the other but that doesn’t mean I’m not suspicious of Bayonne.

For one thing, the price is far too reminiscent of those rip-off artists that go out of their way to keep the price of their product or service below $100 by offering it for $99.99 or under $1000 by deducting a penny from the cost. But unless I find that Bayonne has a success rate 14 times higher than Lincoln or that they encourage smoking in the Bronx facility, I’d give Bayonne a very wide berth.

In case you missed the news, Kathy Boudin, a dedicated radical/convicted cop killer, went straight from the penitentiary to a professorship at Columbia. She is merely following in the tawdry footsteps of other unrepentant nogootniks like Angela Davis and William Ayers. If anyone is seriously wondering why academia is held in such low regard these days, it’s because so many universities will roll out the red carpet for murderous loons, while at the same time slamming their ivy-covered doors in the face of conservative scholars.

What makes Democrats so despicable isn’t simply that they’re wrong on just about every issue, but that they will lie and provide cover for their fellow liars. All you had to do was tune in to the Benghazi hearings to realize how, even in the wake of our ambassador and his three gallant colleagues being slaughtered by the barbarians in Libya, people like Rep. Elijah Cummings will put partisan politics ahead of ferreting out the truth. And for good measure, they will then attribute partisan motives to those seeking the facts.

In the run-up to the election, in order to bolster the big lie about having decimated Al Qaeda, Obama, Biden, Clinton and Susan Rice, pretended that the Benghazi massacre was the result of an impromptu demonstration brought on by a silly video.

One would think that however one felt about Obama’s re-election prospects, an honest person would have to take the word of the Libyan president when he immediately announced that the attack was premeditated and carried out by Muslim terrorists.

One would also think that a cover-up involving four dead Americans would trigger at least as big a reaction from the media as Watergate, which involved an office break-in, for God’s sake, but no spilling of innocent blood. But, then, of course, one can’t really expect a Democrat such as Patty Murray, Dianne Feinstein, Dick Durbin or Patrick Leahy, to follow the example of Barry Goldwater and tell the president in no uncertain terms to do the honorable thing and vacate the premises.

One of the more mind-boggling things about Americans is the ridiculously high esteem in which so many of them hold Hillary Clinton, a woman who owes her fame not to any actual achievement, but to the fact that 37 years ago she displayed her own lack of judgment by marrying a serial adulterer

But to me, the nadir of her public life took place last January. I only wish I had been sitting in Sen. Ron Johnson’s chair when she berated him for daring to question her over the tragic events that took place on 9/11 in Benghazi.

After her hammy outburst, I would have said, “Somehow I can’t quite believe that if Ambassador to Libya Chelsea Clinton had been murdered by jihadists four months ago, her mother would sit there today and say, ‘What difference, at this point, does it make who did it?’”

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Monday, May 20, 2013

THE LEFT: GUILTY OF UNREQUITED STUPIDITY

by Burt Prelutsky

It goes against my grain to generalize about large groups of people, but when it comes to liberals and Muslims, I find it increasingly difficult to resist the urge.

For instance, House Democrats, led by the thoroughly obnoxious Rep. Barbara Lee, have proposed a resolution calling on Congress to acknowledge that global warming could drive poor women to depend on “transactional sex” for their economic survival. Their reasoning, for want of a better word, is that global warming would lead to drought, and drought would inevitably lead to prostitution as food became scarce and more expensive.

What Ms. Lee neglects to explain is why prostitution is so widespread outside the confines of the already drought-riddled Third World, and has for millennia been referred to as the world’s oldest profession. When informed of the proposed legislation, Bill Clinton was overheard saying, “Remind me, what’s wrong with prostitution?”

Speaking of people named Clinton, as anyone familiar with my work knows, I hold his wife in even greater contempt than I hold her husband. This is especially true ever since her vile performance testifying before Congress on the subject of the Benghazi massacre. One can only imagine the hell she would raise if her own daughter, Chelsea, had been murdered, and a few months later, some loathsome Washington harridan had dared to say: “What difference, at this late date, does it really make who did it?”

Sometimes I attempt to imagine what life must be like inside the mind of a leftist. I’m guessing it’s filled with spider webs, squeaky doors and the faint echo of Obama’s countless lies. Sometimes, as in the case of people like O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake and Casey Anthony, it seems to me that our nation’s jury pools are filled exclusively with liberal morons who are devoid of commonsense and the ability to handle even a single idea, let alone juggle two simultaneously.

Is it possible that between “Perry Mason” and “CSI,” members of juries have no concept of what constitutes a reasonable doubt? Do they equate circumstantial evidence with perjury? Do they even know what circumstantial evidence is, and will anything short of the defendant rising in the courtroom and confessing his crime convince them?

But juries are merely one of the problems with our legal system. Between the endless and absurd appeals that have become standard practice, particularly in capital cases, the recipient of a death sentence is far more likely to die of old age than by lethal injection.

That reminds me of a friend, now deceased, who had worked for several years inside California’s Soledad Penitentiary. He had nothing but contempt for the inmates with whom he was forced to deal on a daily basis. He didn’t regard them as unfortunate victims of a cruel or neglectful society, but as vermin from whom society needed to be protected. The kicker is that he wasn’t a prison guard; he was the prison chaplain!

One of my readers has let me know that he got ripped off by an air conditioner repairman, and that neither the local police chief nor the state licensing board will do anything about it. I told him that it’s a sad day when service providers can get away with behaving like politicians. After all, repairmen are expected to have professional and ethical standards, whereas when it comes to politicians, lying and cheating are included in the job description.

One of my chief complaints with political correctness is that blacks, Muslims, illegal aliens, homosexuals and the transgender crowd, are not only encouraged to take offense with anything that doesn’t advance their various agendas, but are applauded for their alleged sensitivity. Being thin-skinned is bad enough without anyone trying to make a virtue of it. Sensitivity should be a word reserved for those who are concerned about the feelings of others, not for those ballyhooing their own under-developed defense systems, otherwise known as maturity.

Finally, a word to the current commander-in-chief and those who will succeed him: Not since 1945, has the United States engaged in a war with the intention of destroying the enemy. As we should have learned through our half-assed experiences in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, playing for a tie is a great way to squander treasure and gallant American lives.

If the president and the Pentagon are going to continue fretting about collateral damage, nation-building and the risk of offending the tawdry religion of our sworn enemies, they really should step aside and leave it up to the folks who have a serious interest in protecting this nation. I refer to the patriotic members of the NRA and and the feisty Daughters of the American Revolution.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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