Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Gnomes In The News


I recently saw a photo taken during a September event called the People’s Climate March in New York City. There was Jane Goodall in the front rank holding a couple of stuffed toy monkeys, thus making herself more readily recognizable to caption writers who might not otherwise recall that she spent a large portion of her life eating, sleeping and hanging out, with gorillas.

Apparently nothing much has changed because there she was linking arms with such primates as France’s Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and none other than the king of the chimps, Al Gore.

I would say that Ms. Goodall enjoyed better company in the old days. But you could readily see why some people are convinced that apes and people are closely related. Looking at De Blasio and Gore, you would almost swear they’re human.

Another name that’s been in the news lately is Bill Cosby, who has cancelled some TV appearances because he doesn’t wish to be asked about the rape accusations that have been hurled his way by a number of women. Frankly, I have no way of knowing if he sexually assaulted all of them or any of them. But what I do know is that back in the 1970s, a friend of mine was Cosby’s publicist and on more than one occasion, when I was in my friend’s office, Cosby, who was already a husband and father, would phone from wherever he was finishing up a gig – often Tahoe or Vegas –to say he was coming to town and to line up some women.

That doesn’t make him a serial rapist, but it does explain why I never bought the wholesome Cosby image used to peddle Jell-O and family values to a gullible public.

Speaking of women, I think someone needs to point out to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Valerie Jarrett, that politics is a rough and tumble game. If you can’t take it, perhaps you should take up macramé. What you don’t get to do is play the game and also referee, tossing a penalty flag for sexism every time you’re forced to play defense. Perhaps if you weren’t so personally offensive, it wouldn’t be necessary. It would also help if your notion of sexism was based on gender and not politics so you didn’t always turn a blind eye to it or even participate when its victims were Republicans like Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann.

Is it just me or is everyone sick and tired of hearing about glass ceilings being shattered every time some left-wing female sneezes? I mean, this is 2014, for god’s sake. In case you haven’t been paying attention, women have been ruling nations and commanding armies for centuries. The list includes the likes of Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Mary Queen of Scots, Catherine II, Queen Victoria, Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel.

For years now, I have regularly been receiving a June, 1920 quote attributed to H.L. Mencken of the Baltimore Sun: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folk of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright utter fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

The people who pass it along to me obviously know my opinion of Barack Obama. What they don’t seem to grasp is that the source of the quote obviously had the same elitist contempt for his fellow Americans, whom he identified as boobs, that we’ve now seen time and again from Prof. Jonathan Gruber.

For another thing, Mencken finally fell out of favor, even with the boobs, when he made his affection for Adolf Hitler a little too obvious in the 1930s. And, finally, at the time he wrote those lines, the President was Woodrow Wilson and in a few months would be Warren G. Harding, two of the very worst rodents to have ever planted their rumps in the Oval Office. So, far from being prescient, Mencken was seemingly unaware of what was taking place right under his shnoz.

As for Obama, whom I grant is even worse than Wilson and Harding, in defending his use of executive action to defer the deportation of illegal aliens, he said he had to do what he had to do because Congress wouldn’t do what he wanted. However, for five years, he was telling Hispanic groups that he lacked the constitutional authority to do the very thing he is now threatening.

And because most congressional Hispanics have their lips glued to Obama’s butt, they never asked why he didn’t simply pass legislation during his first two years in office, when the Democrats had a stranglehold on the House and Senate.

But, then, my fellow Jews in Congress never confront Obama over the fact that at the same time he spits on Israel, he invariably plays up to Muslims and Arabs, both here and abroad.

Clearly, at least for Jewish and Latino Democrats, an essential part of the congressional initiation process is voluntary neutering.

By now, we all know that the unemployment rate has become a joke. All people have to do is drop out of the labor market in order to make an 11% unemployment rate appear to be a mere 5.8%. But recently, a poll disclosed that 40% of women, 28% of men and 39% of young people, don’t even want a job. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 93% of all adults (86 million people) who aren’t in the work force don’t wish to be in the work force. And so long as Uncle Barack is willing to redistribute wealth by taxing those who are working to subsidize those who aren’t, that number will only keep growing.

Once the Republican mission in Congress goes from stopping Obama in his tracks to actually doing something to reverse America’s decline, they will have to do something about programs that feed, clothe, house and hospitalize, the able-bodied.

That also includes the millions who have committed fraud in order to receive monthly disability checks. If I were in charge, I would send an inspector to the home of everyone collecting one of those checks. And unless the recipient could prove what particular disability he’s afflicted with, the inspector would be authorized to hit him with a sledge hammer, thus legitimizing his claim.


©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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Monday, November 24, 2014

"Who Needs Amendments" and "Liberals Are All Scaredy Cats"


In the old John Huston movie, “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre,” when Humphrey Bogart’s Fred C. Dobbs asks to see the badge of the Mexican bandit leader trying to pass himself off as an officer in the Federales, Alfonso Bedoya carved a niche in motion picture history by replying: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges.”

Barack Obama has now carved a niche in American history by usurping the power of Congress with his recent executive edict which serves to make our immigration laws null and void. And he didn’t have to show anyone any stinking amendments to justify it. To be fair, he had already carved a pretty sizable niche by simply ignoring the most inconvenient aspects of the Affordable Care Act.

What is most troubling about his cavalier attitude towards the Constitution is the way that those on his side of the aisle, including Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, the members of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, the racists at Univision and his usual defenders at Fox, including Alan Colmes and Kirsten Powers, commend him, proving once again that for some on the Left a short term political advantage will always trump the Constitution.

When asked why Obama didn’t do anything about immigration during his first two years in the Oval Office, his hand puppets insist he was too busy working on the Affordable Care Act. But the fact is that with the super majorities he had in the House and Senate, he could have gotten any bill his heart desired written, passed and signed, in 24 hours, let alone 24 months.

I always thought the epitome of selfless loyalty was exemplified by Spicer Lovejoy, Cal Hockley’s henchman in “Titanic.” Even after the mishap with the iceberg, Spicer kept trying to complete his boss’s assignment, which was to make sure Jack Dawson lived only long enough to regret sneaking aboard the doomed ocean liner.

But even Spicer can’t hold a candle to Juan Williams. Even after Obama declared on 25 separate occasions since 2010 that he lacked the constitutional authority to use executive action when it came to illegal aliens, once he did a 180, Williams was first in line to say that of course he not only had the legal authority, but the moral obligation.

It makes you wonder if the Constitution itself were placed on a ballot, if liberals, including Justices Ginsburg, Kagan and Sotomayor, would vote for it. We already know that the First and Second Amendments would never survive the cut.

The most tragic aspect of what will come to be known as the Obama Era is that it divided America in a way that not even the Civil War managed to do. That divided the nation geographically, but Obama has sliced and diced it to such an extent that America is now divided between races, religions, genders and even generations.

The founders fought a revolution, but it wasn’t like those fought in France, Russia and China, which merely exchanged one despot for another. It was a revolution waged on behalf of an idea, the idea being that liberty, the freedom to think one’s own thoughts and pursue one’s own path in life, trumped the government’s power to inflict its will on the individual. One can only imagine how James Madison would shudder at the realization that Americans twice elected a man who made King George appear not only reasonable, but fairly good-natured.

It was King George, remember, who said, upon hearing that George Washington had rejected the American kingship, spurning the royal crown, that if the rumor was true, Washington was the greatest man on the face of the earth. I suspect Emperor Obama would have called Washington a sucker.

What Obama has been attempting to do for the past six years is covered by the German word, gleichschaltung, which means the forced standardization of political, economic and cultural institutions; in short, an authoritarian state. When you rack up all the scandals that have taken place during his reign – everything from Operation Fast & Furious and the targeting of conservatives by the IRS to Benghazi and the amnesty he is now granting to five million illegal aliens -- he has all but ruled the Constitution unconstitutional.

Lest anyone get the silly idea that Obama is only wrong when it comes to domestic issues, after two Palestinians butchered five Jews in an Israeli synagogue, three of whom were Americans, he said, “Too many Israelis have died. Too many Palestinians have died.” Well, at least this time he was half right.

What sort of degenerate, though, finds a moral equivalency between Jews being killed in cold blood and Palestinians who die as a result of Israel’s deciding to put an end to missiles targeting its civilians? What sort of cretin calls Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu a pile of chicken poop, but speaks respectfully to and about President Abbas, who referred to the five murders as “a victory” on his political website and personally lauded the two killers as martyrs? What sort of creep ignores the Palestinians celebrating the axe murders by dancing in the streets and tossing candy to the children?

Finally, I must hand out kudos to William B. Stoecker of Sacramento, CA, who called my Wednesday webcast and raised two questions that even I had never considered. First, he wondered why those – often utility companies – who send you bills always supply you with a return envelope with a little window in it. Sometimes, as he mentioned, the little window is just a cut-out and sometimes it’s covered with a tiny piece of clear plastic. But either way, you are occasionally going to stick the return portion of the bill in backwards so that the address doesn’t show through. At which point, you have to take it out and put it back it in correctly. You are already in a foul mood if you’re anything like me and can’t believe how much water and power costs here in California.

As Stoecker says, “Why don’t they just provide you with a regular envelope that has the return address already printed on it?” Why, indeed? My guess, based on my knowledge of utility companies, is that they love to imagine all the frustrated people who stick the return portion of the bill in backwards.

Stoecker’s other comment was in the form of a question: There are about seven billion people on earth, he pointed out. That is a 10 digit number that looks like this: 7,000,000,000. America’s population is roughly 320,000,000, a nine digit number. So why is it, he’d like to know, that he often receives bills that have as many as 15 digits in the serial number?

These are usually the kinds of things that keep me up nights. Until now, I worried that if I fell by the wayside, there would be no one to carry on in my stead. But now I can rest easy, knowing that Stoecker is up there in Sacramento ready and willing to do the work that Americans usually won’t do.




Liberals Are All Scaredy Cats

There is a very good reason why liberals rarely become cops or join the military. It’s because they could get hurt. They will lie and pretend that it’s because they’re so very smart and prefer careers that call for them to use their brains. But I’m Jewish, so I know a great many liberals first hand. In addition, I live in California where you can’t swing a cat without hitting a bunch of them, which explains why I carry a couple of cats every time I leave the house.

I first became aware of this during the Vietnam War when just about every guy I knew at UCLA suddenly became a devout pacifist. Some of them even preferred falsely identifying themselves as homosexuals -- getting left-wing psychiatrists to confirm their lie – as an easy way out. Anything was better than having army sergeants shout at them or having the Vietcong shoot at them.

Part of the reason they’re cowards is because they are raised to never hit back even if a schoolyard bully is taking their lunch money or their lunch. They’ve never been spanked for misbehaving. Instead, they’ve been given time outs, which involve being sent to their room to meditate on their questionable behavior. Of course it’s not their fault that their rooms resemble a Toys-R-Us warehouse and that their meditations usually take a backseat to their video games.

When riots break out, liberal politicians won’t even allow the police to bash heads because they’re so terrified of being compared to such racists as George Wallace or Bull Connors. But it’s also because to them, all blacks are alike and, therefore, sacred. They are incapable of seeing the difference between blacks who are trying to attend school or eat at a lunch counter and those turning over cars or burning down businesses. Political correctness makes cowards of them all.

A friend of mine thinks that granting amnesty to millions of illegals will force America’s poor -- blacks and Hispanics alike – to realize that the welfare system is about to be overwhelmed. But I think his concerns are groundless. When it comes to doubling the number of people receiving food stamps or forking over billions of dollars to those claiming fraudulent disabilities, all the feds do is alter the plates at the printing presses, changing the denomination on the bills being run off from fives and tens to twenties and fifties. Problem solved.

I think it’s a stretch to call the material that lurks within the skulls of liberals “brains.” It’s more of a mix of mush, straw and horse manure. How else to explain the way Al Gore managed to turn tens of millions into Chicken Littles running around the barnyard clucking, “The earth is heating up!”

Obama, the biggest chicken in the coop, pats himself on the back for getting China to promise to adopt the FEA’s loony limits on industry as their own. Now, really, how stupid does someone have to be to believe that China will do anything that would diminish itself economically or militarily? This is a country that is building warships and submarines at a record pace, and is testing the waters, so to speak, not only in Asia and Africa, but in the Caribbean. We can’t even find out how far along Iran’s nuclear program is or how many chemical weapons Assad is concealing, but Obama is convinced we can hold China to a climate agreement!

It may have escaped Obama’s attention, but China didn’t even cease its cyber-attacks on our government, our military and our industries, while he was prancing around in that silly Mandarin jacket. It’s really not so amazing that he places so much faith in our worst enemies because it has become increasingly clear over the past six years that Obama doesn’t view America’s enemies as his own.

In addition, he has surrounded himself with a great many who share his distaste for America and Americans. The worst of whom is Eric Holder, who would seem more at home smoldering the flames of racial division in Ferguson than he is at the Justice Department.

His likely successor, Loretta Lynch is cut of the same racist cloth and it’s no wonder that she was handpicked by Holder when you learn of her background. While attending Harvard, Ms. Lynch belonged to the Black Law Students Association, which every year she belonged (1981-1984) invited representatives of the Jew-hating, pro-terrorist, Palestinian Liberation Organization to spew anti-Semitic bile on campus.

Lest you think that should be written off as merely youthful folly, more recently Judge Lynch described Voter I.D. as a throwback to the days of Jim Crow.

We are told by those in the know that Ms. Lynch was the most reasonable person on Obama’s short list to replace the vile Eric Holder that conservatives could expect. What does that tell us about the schmuck whose last truthful statement was that he planned to radically transform America?

Finally, I find it all too telling that Joe Biden defended allowing thousands of Central American children to enter the U.S. illegally, claiming it allowed them to “escape the poverty and violence in Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador.”

That pretty much sums up this administration’s approach to foreign policy: Never allow poverty and violence to fester somewhere else when you can bring it along with all those future Democrats to America.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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