Monday, October 20, 2014

John Lennon, Che Guevara & Me

When the Beatles were at the height of their popularity, John Lennon said that they were more famous than Jesus. It infuriated a great many Christians, but I just thought it was simply the latest in a series of inane and egomaniacal statements he delighted in making. He was, after all, a liberal zealot, and I have noted through the years that the richer these people are, the more strident they are in their opposition to capitalism and the more separated they are from reality. In much the same way the more power that politicians have over the people who elect them, the more they pretend to be populists. Which is why anytime I hear a wealthy politician of either party brag about his humble beginnings, the less likely I am to ever vote for the schmuck.

The irony of John Lennon’s life was his death. After writing the sappy “Imagine,” which contained such banal lines as “Imagine there’s no country/It isn’t hard to do./Nothing to kill or die for,/And no religion, too./Imagine all the people/Living life in peace,” along came Mark David Chapman, who first got Lennon’s autograph and then a few hours later shot him dead.

In other words, Chapman took Lennon’s lyrics to heart. He didn’t pull the trigger because he was motivated by patriotism or on behalf of any religion, but because he was nutty as a fruitcake. Or perhaps it was because he believed that if a singer-songwriter could be more famous than Christ, so could a latter day Judas.

I used to say that every time I turned around, liberals were doing something crazy or wicked. So I finally decided to quit turning around, but it didn’t stop them. For instance, Seattle’s city council voted to stop celebrating Columbus Day because they decided, I assume, that by “discovering” North America, Columbus helped bring about the downfall of the Indians. So, instead, Seattle’s city fathers and mothers decided they would celebrate Indigenous People’s Day. Being liberals, they failed to see the absurdity of mainly non-indigenous white people using the occasion to insult millions of Americans who take pride in the accomplishment of the great Italian seaman.

In New Haven, CT, the city council allowed ARTE, Inc., a non-profit group dedicated to promoting Hispanic culture in the community, to put up their posters honoring Heroes and Icons on City Hall. One of those pictured was Che Guevara, so, predictably, someone had scrawled the Spanish word “asesino” (murderer) across his face. Daniel Diaz, the co-founder and executive director of ARTE admitted that he had received objections from several people in town, but the weasel explained, “The exhibit celebrates Hispanic History Month and not everyone on the poster is a hero, some are merely icons.”

Just because someone’s face shows up on t-shirts worn by young American ignoramuses doesn’t make a mass murderer an icon, and neither does name recognition. Otherwise, we would expect to see Charles Manson on a poster celebrating American History Month.

Say what you will about the pinheads in Seattle and New Haven, I, for one, appreciate it when there’s actual competition for the honor of being known as the Wackiest City Council in the Nation, and it’s not just Oakland, Berkeley and San Francisco, duking it out year after year for the title.

Recently, because I think it’s essential to wrench control away from Harry Reid and prevent Obama from seating someone like Eric Holder on the Supreme Court in the next couple of years, I actually donated a few dollars to help specific Republicans win their Senate races. What I hadn’t counted on was that those people would send me emails on an hourly basis, begging for more. I felt liberated when I discovered that if I scrolled down to the bottom of the page, I could click on the Unsubscribe button and put a stop to it. But, lo and behold, the dunning messages continued unabated. When I reported this to my friend and computer maven, Steve Maikoski, he explained that “Unsubscribe Me” has replaced “The check’s in the mail” as the biggest lie in America.

As my readers know, LBJ was the last Democratic presidential candidate to have received the majority of white votes. Something I had not known until recently was that although Obama won the majority of female votes in 2012, Mitt Romney won the majority of white women’s votes. Now you and I both have a clearer idea of the reason why liberals are forever pandering to blacks and Hispanics, whether it comes to welfare, open borders or amnesty. If ever the GOP comes close to garnering even 35 or 40% of those votes, the Democrats will appropriately go the way of the dodo bird.

When I read that corporations are moving their headquarters out of the country in order to avoid ridiculously high taxes or when I write that companies simply pass along their tax bite to consumers in the form of higher costs for their goods and services, I’m not casting stones at them for doing so. Heck, if I could get some car company or grocery chain to pay my taxes, I would happily do so.

It’s not that I’m not willing to pay my fair share, as those on the Left are wont to say, but I deeply resent the way that the folks in Sacramento and Washington, D.C., squander my tax dollars. I simply have no desire to fund most of the state and federal agencies, and I hate having to support able-bodied welfare recipients, bureaucrats, illegal aliens and those millions of creeps who lie about their disabilities.

When our forefathers cast off the yoke of English tyranny, it wasn’t really over a penny for a pound of tea; it was over the principle of taxation without representation. Today, however, when we’re all saddled with mayors, councilmen, members of the state assembly, congressmen, senators, Joe Biden, the Obamas and several million unionized civil servants, we have reached the point where the pendulum has swung back and we’ve all discovered that a far worse problem is taxation with too much representation; or at least too many blood-sucking representatives who represent nobody’s interests but their own.

The final word goes to one of my readers, Daniel Parker, who, with the likes of Valerie Jarrett, Denis McDonough and Josh Earnest no doubt in mind, described Barack Hussein Obama as a man who always keeps his wits about him: namely, dimwits, nitwits and halfwits.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, October 17, 2014

Liberals: An Endless Source Of Amusement

Liberals, I hasten to add, are also an endless source of aggravation, terror and sheer nausea. But, really, if you can’t laugh at them, you not only lack a sense of humor, but even the most basic of coping skills required to survive the current administration.

For instance, Joe Biden, who can nearly always be counted on to be unintentionally hilarious, recently told a crowd of sycophants in Joplin, MO, that we should never forget the 161,000 Missourians who lost their lives during the 2011 tornado that ravaged their town. Because everyone in the crowd and on the stage with him was a liberal, nobody pointed out to the Vice President that the actual number was 161. Joplin’s entire population is only 50,150 and, no, Mr. Biden, it wasn’t 211,150 before the tornado hit.

Even when Biden tells the truth, as he recently did at Harvard, when he pointed out that our alleged allies, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and the United Arab Emirates, have spent years financing Islamic terrorism, he wound up having to apologize for his unseemly candor. I’m sure Biden has learned his lesson and will never again tell the truth about anything.

Even the FBI’s chief honcho, James Comey, made me laugh when he said that the Americans who have been fighting alongside the butchers of ISIL will be “closely tracked” when they return. The FBI couldn’t even keep track of the Tsarnaev brothers before they blew up the Boston marathoners, the agency’s excuse being that someone had misspelled “Tsarnaev” on a terrorist list.

To tell the truth, I didn’t start laughing immediately because I assumed I was going deaf. You see, I so much expected him to say the homegrown vermin would be indicted, tried and sent off to be gnawed on by rats in a dungeon as soon as they stepped onto the tarmac at Dulles or JFK, I was simply caught by surprise.

As you may have noticed, Obama had refused for the longest time to give a name to the bombing mission in Iraq and Syria. Looking to correct that oversight, Free suggested its readers give it a try. Some of the submissions were “Operation Too Little, Too Late,” “Operation Just for Show,” “Operation Pussyfoot,” and “Operation Rolling Blunder.” I would have suggested “Operation Nothing Ventured, Nothing Ventured.” Just recently, Obama finally came up with (a drum roll, please) “Operation Inherent Resolve,” proving once again that we’re all better off when this administration does nothing than when it does something.

When asked why Obama elects to call the Khorasan Group by that name instead of calling it Al Qaeda, which it is in spite of Obama’s having campaigned as the dude who wiped it off the map, a spokesperson for the President said, with a straight face, it was because that’s what they call themselves. However, when it came to the butchers affiliated with the Islamic State, Obama insisted that no matter what they call themselves, they are neither a state nor Islamic. This is clearly a man who regards consistency, along with honesty, to be cardinal sins.

That reminds me that while I hate tooting my own horn -- always hoping that others will step forward and volunteer -- I must point out that three years ago, when Obama announced that Assad’s days were numbered, I pointed out that everyone’s days are numbered, but I was giving odds that Syria’s despot would remain in power longer than our own. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any takers because even then most people recognized that Obama was just a big gasbag.

Another funny thing about liberals is that they always fear guns more than they do the various thugs -- be they Muslims, blacks or illegal aliens – who misuse them.

But nowhere, not even in Washington, D.C., are liberals as hilarious as they are in Hollywood. This is ground zero for more lunacy than even I can keep track of, but, then, I lack the resources of the F.B.I.

For openers, this is the one place in America where even conservatives often have to pretend to be liberals in order to be employable and be invited to parties. This is the bizarre world where actors are every bit as likely as actresses to have a plastic surgeon on speed dial, and where starlets are so pumped up with silicone that even their own dogs can no longer recognize them.

Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence explained the existence of her nude photos by stating that she had been in “a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years, but it was a long distance relationship, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.” She added that she was as angry with those who looked at her nude photos as she was with the hackers who downloaded them because even looking constituted a sex crime.

Well, even though I didn’t look at the photos, I think she was being unfair. I suspect that the various Peeping Toms imagined that they, too, were in a loving, healthy, great – albeit long distance –relationship with Jennie, if only for a few minutes.

Speaking of actors, one of my all-time favorites was the sardonic Englishman, Alastair Sim. Not only was he superb in “School for Scoundrels,” “The Green Man,” “An Inspector Calls” and “The Belles of Saint Trinian’s,” but he was responsible for yet another great comedic tour de force. It seems that Alec Guinness was so impressed by Sim’s performance in “Dulcimer Street” that he confessed using it as the basis for his own memorable turn in “The Ladykillers.”

Alastair George Bell Sim, as he was baptized, not only was a remarkable actor who had the distinction of having had four names, each of which was one or two letters shorter than the previous one, but he once said a very wise thing that, like Alec Guinness, I intend to adopt, perhaps as my own epitaph: “It was revealed to me many years ago with conclusive certainty that I was a fool. Since then, I have been as happy as any man has a right to be.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?