Thursday, November 25, 2010

The World's Oldest Profession

by Burt Prelutsky

It was amusing to watch the desperate Democrats trying to turn foreign donations to the electoral process into a major issue. Voters would have to be even dopier than they are to be overly concerned with chump change from foreign donors going to the Chamber of Commerce when China holds the mortgage on America.

The funniest moment came when Bob Schieffer, on Face the Nation, asked White House hatchet man David Axelrod if he had any proof that the Chamber was actually using foreign funds to help elect business-friendly candidates. Axelrod replied, “Do you have any evidence that it isn’t?” The notion that people are guilty until proven innocent strikes at the core of American jurisprudence, but desperate times clearly call for desperate measures.

In the case of Axelrod’s boss, it meant that he would tell the New York Times that he misspoke (about a thousand times) when he announced that the trillion dollar stimulus bill would lead to millions of shovel-ready jobs. Of course Obama had no idea when he made that claim that those shovels would eventually be used to help bury his administration and the Congressional stooges who voted for the pork-filled bill.

Getting back to Axelrod and his rebuttal to Shieffer, I haven’t heard anything quite so insipid since I was in grammar school and every insult was countered with either “I’m rubber, you’re glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” or the equally dazzling “I know you are, but what am I?” At least, Mr. Axelrod can be assured that if his present gig doesn’t work out, he can always go on tour as the world’s tallest six-year-old.

To be fair about it, there are still a lot of people out there who think Obama, Pelosi and Reid -- otherwise known as the axis of evil -- are doing a bang-up job. Most of those people are those blacks who give their ears to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and their votes to the Democrats; college students who have never had to hold down a job or pay for their own beer or income taxes; and union members, who have all the attributes of sheep except for providing us with wool and lamb chops.

Unless you are a student of history or are very old, you would have no way of knowing that once upon a time unions served an honorable purpose. These days, however, they are as necessary as an appendix, except, of course, to the DNC, which depends on them for campaign funds and “volunteers.” On the chance that you are one of those simpletons who continue to hold unions in high regard, please defend the fact that after spending millions of dollars campaigning for ObamaCare for the rest of us, the unions then turned around and demanded waivers for themselves.

Many people contend that when electing a president, it is better to go with a candidate who has been a governor, not a senator. The argument is that someone who’s been a governor has the necessary executive experience, that he has to have actually overseen a variety of departments and has had to work with a budget. Senators, on the other hand, oversee nothing but a staff of gofers and sycophants.

When you see an ex-senator like Barack Obama thrashing around in the Oval Office, it is easy to see the wisdom in such a position, especially when you recall that Ronald Reagan was a former governor. But if you then remind yourself that Jimmy Carter, Michael Dukakis and Bill Clinton were also former governors, you can only conclude that the only safe rule is to never elect Democrats. People you wouldn’t trust around heavy machinery or sharp tools should never be trusted to run America. The only place they’ll run it is into the ground.

Every four years, people whose candidate has just lost the presidential election start demanding that the Electoral College be abolished. But whereas a good argument can be made for the College, no such case can be made for lame duck sessions. There is no good reason why incumbents who have lost their re-election bids in early November continue to hold office until January 1st.

Perhaps in the old days, when it took a long time for people to get from one place to another, an argument could have been made. But now, when people can fly from the west coast to Washington, D.C., in a few hours, there is no good reason why losing senators and House members can’t be expected to vacate their offices immediately. It doesn’t take all that long to pack up the pictures on the wall, and they can line up their lobbying jobs on their own time.

The idea that people who have been cut loose by the voters can continue making policy and passing legislation for the better part of two months is shameful. God knows most of them do a lousy enough job of it when they’ve actually won elections. Allowing them to continue after losing is just asking for trouble.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky>

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