Monday, November 29, 2010

How to Survive Obama’s Economy

by Burt Prelutsky

Ever since the campaigns began earlier this year, Democrats, desperate to save their political hides, have been dragging up silly stuff that their opponents allegedly did during their college and even their high school days. Frankly, I’m surprised that conservative candidates haven’t been accused of causing mischief in their nursery school sandboxes.

I can certainly understand why liberals would prefer to have us concentrating on stupid pranks and childish follies than on ObamaCare, a 9.6 unemployment rate and a trillion dollars blown on shovel-ready jobs that existed only on Obama’s teleprompter.

One of the reasons I go to movies as rarely as I do is because I no longer have a reviewer I can totally rely on. Years ago, there was a fellow writing for a local paper named Dick Williams. What made him indispensable was that he was always wrong in his judgments, although, to be fair, he would have said the same about me. In any case, if he panned a movie, it was sure to be one I’d enjoy; if he raved about a movie, I learned to avoid it like the plague. It’s now that way with me and Obama. No matter the issue, if he’s for it, I know it stinks. It’s as if he’s reading my mind and then basing his agenda on no other criteria except to tick me off. Judging by the polls, I’m glad to see I’m not alone in being ticked.

Heaven knows we’ve had other mediocre men in the Oval Office, but I’m pretty certain we’ve never had another who was so contemptuous of our nation. Whether it’s because of his family background, his education or his unfortunate choice of mentors, it’s as if he views America through the wrong end of a telescope. Instead of a great, good and generous country, he sees something small and distant, hardly worth his time and certainly undeserving of his respect and devotion. Ask him what he likes most about America and I suspect his honest answer would be our golf courses.

One of Obama’s most glaring deficiencies is in the area of economics. He apparently believes he can keep throwing money to his base, which consists of unions, minorities and the callow young, and never have to pay the piper. In spite of all the hype about his intellect, he really has a second-rate mind. He fails to grasp the simple fact that the federal government doesn’t make money; it merely prints the stuff.

But because, unlike the great pretender in the White House, I put my country above partisan politics, I have come up with a couple of ways that Washington can start to pay its own way.

First off, when schools want to raise money, they often stage carnivals and, invariably, one of the major attractions is the dunking booth. For a buck or two, you get to toss three balls at a target. If you hit it, the boy’s vice principal or one of the phys ed teachers is flipped off a platform and dropped into a tank of cold water. Now imagine if Barney Frank, Henry Waxman or Nancy Pelosi, were perched on that platform. The line of customers would stretch all the way back to Kansas. Not only would it make a dent in the national deficit, but it would do wonders for the nation’s morale.

Another guaranteed moneymaker I’ve come up with combines something people hate with something they love. The first of these is paying their income taxes. The other is a lottery. With the present system, everybody is paying as little as he can get away with, trying to deduct everything from a pack of chewing gum to a trip to Cancun. But what if we tied April 15th to a lottery with first prize being, say, 20 times whatever you paid in taxes, second place being 10 times the amount, third place being five times the total, and with, say, 50 honorable mentions where you’d get your money back, plus a steak dinner? It would sure beat the heck out of that Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes with all those annoying little stickers you have to track down midst all the magazine ads.

Overnight, most people -- Americans being the inveterate and optimistic gamblers they are -- would be overpaying their taxes on the chance of increasing their prize money.

Now do you see why Tim Geithner should be handing the Treasury job over to me?

Finally, a friend of mine was recently relating the problems he was having with his young daughters, and it occurred to me why dog owners have it so much better than parents: Dogs never become teenagers. They simply go from being adorable little puppies to being our faithful companions.

That led me to an equally dazzling insight: Once liberals become teenagers, they remain teenagers even if they live to be 95! Once you grasp this simple truth everything about leftist politics becomes perfectly, and frighteningly, clear.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Thursday, November 25, 2010

The World's Oldest Profession

by Burt Prelutsky

It was amusing to watch the desperate Democrats trying to turn foreign donations to the electoral process into a major issue. Voters would have to be even dopier than they are to be overly concerned with chump change from foreign donors going to the Chamber of Commerce when China holds the mortgage on America.

The funniest moment came when Bob Schieffer, on Face the Nation, asked White House hatchet man David Axelrod if he had any proof that the Chamber was actually using foreign funds to help elect business-friendly candidates. Axelrod replied, “Do you have any evidence that it isn’t?” The notion that people are guilty until proven innocent strikes at the core of American jurisprudence, but desperate times clearly call for desperate measures.

In the case of Axelrod’s boss, it meant that he would tell the New York Times that he misspoke (about a thousand times) when he announced that the trillion dollar stimulus bill would lead to millions of shovel-ready jobs. Of course Obama had no idea when he made that claim that those shovels would eventually be used to help bury his administration and the Congressional stooges who voted for the pork-filled bill.

Getting back to Axelrod and his rebuttal to Shieffer, I haven’t heard anything quite so insipid since I was in grammar school and every insult was countered with either “I’m rubber, you’re glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” or the equally dazzling “I know you are, but what am I?” At least, Mr. Axelrod can be assured that if his present gig doesn’t work out, he can always go on tour as the world’s tallest six-year-old.

To be fair about it, there are still a lot of people out there who think Obama, Pelosi and Reid -- otherwise known as the axis of evil -- are doing a bang-up job. Most of those people are those blacks who give their ears to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and their votes to the Democrats; college students who have never had to hold down a job or pay for their own beer or income taxes; and union members, who have all the attributes of sheep except for providing us with wool and lamb chops.

Unless you are a student of history or are very old, you would have no way of knowing that once upon a time unions served an honorable purpose. These days, however, they are as necessary as an appendix, except, of course, to the DNC, which depends on them for campaign funds and “volunteers.” On the chance that you are one of those simpletons who continue to hold unions in high regard, please defend the fact that after spending millions of dollars campaigning for ObamaCare for the rest of us, the unions then turned around and demanded waivers for themselves.

Many people contend that when electing a president, it is better to go with a candidate who has been a governor, not a senator. The argument is that someone who’s been a governor has the necessary executive experience, that he has to have actually overseen a variety of departments and has had to work with a budget. Senators, on the other hand, oversee nothing but a staff of gofers and sycophants.

When you see an ex-senator like Barack Obama thrashing around in the Oval Office, it is easy to see the wisdom in such a position, especially when you recall that Ronald Reagan was a former governor. But if you then remind yourself that Jimmy Carter, Michael Dukakis and Bill Clinton were also former governors, you can only conclude that the only safe rule is to never elect Democrats. People you wouldn’t trust around heavy machinery or sharp tools should never be trusted to run America. The only place they’ll run it is into the ground.

Every four years, people whose candidate has just lost the presidential election start demanding that the Electoral College be abolished. But whereas a good argument can be made for the College, no such case can be made for lame duck sessions. There is no good reason why incumbents who have lost their re-election bids in early November continue to hold office until January 1st.

Perhaps in the old days, when it took a long time for people to get from one place to another, an argument could have been made. But now, when people can fly from the west coast to Washington, D.C., in a few hours, there is no good reason why losing senators and House members can’t be expected to vacate their offices immediately. It doesn’t take all that long to pack up the pictures on the wall, and they can line up their lobbying jobs on their own time.

The idea that people who have been cut loose by the voters can continue making policy and passing legislation for the better part of two months is shameful. God knows most of them do a lousy enough job of it when they’ve actually won elections. Allowing them to continue after losing is just asking for trouble.

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Monday, November 22, 2010

John Kennedy Would Be a Conservative Today

by Burt Prelutsky

I harbor no doubts that Kennedy would have joined me here on the right if he had lived. Liberals will read that sentence and conclude that if it’s true, it’s only because he would be 93 years old, and they would attribute it to dementia. But Kennedy, unlike, say, Hubert Humphrey wasn’t a knee-jerk left-winger. He was anti-Communist, he favored a strong military and he believed in lower taxes.

Kennedy, in arguing for lower taxes, observed that a rising tide lifts all boats. Of course if you mention rising tides to liberals, they all panic, assuming it’s that darn global warming melting the icebergs, and, like a flock of Chicken Littles, they begin to feel the ocean lapping at their ankles.

Unlike the Democrats today, Kennedy never pretended he was poor or even middle class; he let us know he was upper crust. And if you doubted it for a second, he’d put Jackie on display with her very expensive designer fashions. Today, kazillionaire politicians like Boxer, Feinstein, Bloomberg, Kerry, Clinton, and even a schmuck named Rockefeller, want us to believe they’re just a bunch of regular folks who carry their lunch in a paper bag and shop at WalMart.

Speaking of rich people, I saw a list recently that listed the dead people who had made the most money during the past year. Michael Jackson pulled down $250 million; Elvis Presley, $60 million; Charles (“Peanuts”) Shultz, $33 million; and Stieg Larsson, the Swedish novelist, $15 million. I assume the only thing that kept Harry Reid off the list was that he took in less than $15 million.

But it’s not just the very wealthy libs that Kennedy would despise. He would also be embarrassed by a horse’s patootie named Jim Moran, who, while running for Congress in Virginia, opined that he didn’t regard military duty as a public service. The reason he said such a stupid thing was because his opponent, Patrick Murray, a retired colonel, had served 24 years in the U.S. Army. If Col. Murray had not had a military background, I’m pretty sure Moran would have chided him for having spent his time working with Virginia charities and officiating at PTA meetings when he should have been defending his country. I suspect we all have a pretty good idea what Jack Kennedy, Navy veteran of World War II, would have said about a punk like Moran.

While I have no way of being certain, I am confident that Kennedy would have shared my low opinion of the community organizer who now sits in the chair he once occupied in the Oval Office. For openers, Kennedy was an athlete who, even with a bad back, knew how to throw a spiral pass. He would have blanched at the sight of Obama throwing out the first pitch at the All Star Game. One can almost hear Kennedy turn to brother Bobby, chuckle, and say, “He throws just like Jackie.”

But, most of all, Kennedy would have been disgusted by the race and class warfare that Obama promotes. I believe Kennedy would have viewed the Obama administration as one long act of revenge and retribution against white Americans.

Just recently, Obama, addressing a rally of leftist lunkheads, said, “We are driving and Republicans can come along, but they have to sit in the back of the car.”

The middle class, he adds, is sitting up front with him. Does that mean that he doesn’t believe there are any Republicans in the middle class? Well, considering the unemployment rate, I’m sure there are a lot fewer than there were before he took office, but surely there must be some.

Also, would a white politician, even a white Democrat, get away with telling a group of Americans they have to sit in the back of the car? Doesn’t that remind people of the bad old days when a certain group of Americans had to sit in the back of the bus?

It also seems ironic that with Obama driving the car, it’s like he’s chauffeuring us Republicans. Not exactly the image he was aiming for. On top of that, if he’s up front and driving and we conservatives are in the back, that leaves the Democrats in what is commonly known as the suicide seat.

Furthermore, Obama shows his true colors when he attacks Arizona, a state with relatively few blacks, and calls on other nations to join him in condemning it for human rights violations; and when he directs his attorney general not to prosecute cases in which blacks intimidate white voters; and when he says that the problem with the Constitution and even the Civil Rights Movement was that they didn’t deal with the redistribution of wealth; and when he continues to misquote the Pledge of Allegiance and the Declaration of Independence, so as not to mention “under God” or “our Creator.”

Isn’t it the least bit odd that he wants to go to war with Arizona, and yet join with Ahmadinejad in a chorus of “Kumbaya”? I’m almost positive that John Kennedy would have thought so. In fact, if he’d lived to see this day, I am confident he would have said, “This jerk is even a worse president than Teddy would have been.”

Which leaves us with just one last question: (a) Is Obama simply incompetent or does he really hate America? (b) Is he a Socialist? (c) Is he a racist? (d) Is he an arrogant nincompoop? (e) All of the above?

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Lawyers, Liars & Other Lowlifes

by Burt Prelutsky

As I’m sure you’re all aware, Gloria Allred, the preeminent media whore and left-wing dirty trickster, has recently garnered the spotlight by trying to scuttle Meg Whitman’s chances of defeating Jerry Brown in California’s gubernatorial race.

Ms. Allred, who may actually be brought up on ethics charges by the California Bar for placing her client in legal jeopardy by exposing her as an illegal alien guilty of perjury and forging official documents, has long carried on like the worst sort of used car salesman. For good measure, Allred shows her true colors by referring to her client not as Ms. Diaz, but as Nicky. When is the last time that you heard an attorney call a client by his or her first name, unless the client was Madonna or Cher?

The things I know about Ms. Allred are not the sort of things she includes in her resume. Some years ago, for instance, Allred, who regards herself as a gallant feminist who has carved out a career fighting alleged male sexism, hosted a party for a group of women she was then heading up, at Chippendale’s, the male strip club. When word got out, a number of her most ardent supporters condemned her as a hypocrite.

On another occasion, she was one of the lawyers my then wife hired to handle our divorce. One morning, while we were waiting to enter the courtroom, Allred and a male associate walked over to the bench where my wife and her 12-year-old daughter were seated. After they were introduced, Allred turned to the child and said, “Lily, you’re very attractive. Have you considered modeling as a career?”

Do you think if a prominent male had made such a patronizing, sexist remark, Allred would have let it pass or would she have rounded up as many TV cameras as she could and publicly condemned him as a chauvinist pig for suggesting the child rely solely on her looks instead of her brains?

Finally, to show you what an absolutely despicable human being she is, when she was a single mother, she married Mr. William Allred. That was in 1968. It was he who paid her way so that she could attend law school and become an attorney in 1975. In 1987, they got divorced, and the guy wound up having to pay her alimony.

In the passage of time, Mr. Allred went to jail for fraud. When he got out, his financial resources greatly diminished, he petitioned the court for a reduction in his alimony payments. Even though he had made her career possible by paying for her education, and even though she was by then earning a handsome living, she fought him tooth and nail.

As I recall, there is a certain circle in Hell, described by Dante, that is reserved for people who not only bite the hand that’s fed them, but kicks their benefactors in the teeth for good measure. I’m willing to bet that there’s a deep, dark cellar in that particular circle that’s reserved for Ms. Allred.

Another person whose character seems to consist entirely of a pathological egotism is our president. For my part, I am not only sick and tired of listening to that self-absorbed donkey braying 24/7 on the tube, but I’ve had it up to here with those damn shirtsleeves.

God knows I’m no fashion plate, but I’m just me and he’s supposed to be America’s commander in chief, the leader of the free world.

I used to think it was hilarious when Las Vegas entertainers like Tony Bennett and Steve Lawrence would pretend that singing was the equivalent of shoveling coal by undoing their bowties halfway through a performance. But at least they were working up a sweat under those hot lights. Obama, on the other hand, shows up in his shirtsleeves even when all he’s doing is reading from his teleprompter in an air-conditioned auditorium.

In a country with nearly 10% unemployment and a deficit that’s not only burying us, but our children and our grandchildren, is this arrogant mug actually trying to get our sympathy? I’m afraid he’ll have to settle for our contempt.

Of late, rumors are floating around that if his approval numbers continue to tank, Hillary Clinton will challenge Obama for their party’s nomination in 2012. At first blush, one can imagine thinking that anyone but Obama would not only be an improvement, but could work as a campaign slogan. However, we should all keep in mind that Mrs. Clinton not only tried to push through HillaryCare when her husband was up to his usual monkey business in the Oval office, but more recently charged Arizona with human rights violations at the U.N., this putting it on a par with China, Iran and North Korea.

In short, she is every bit the loony lefty that Barack Obama is. In fact, there are only two real differences I’m aware of; one, he’s 50% blacker than she is and, two, she manages to keep her jacket on during working hours.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Myths and Misses

by Burt Prelutsky

A lot of the things that people accept on faith are nothing more than time-honored, widely accepted lies. For instance, ever since its inception, we have all come to accept as gospel that Israelis are the most formidable fighters in the world. At one time, that may have been true. They certainly made quick work of the Arabs during the Six Day War. But that was then and this is now.

Back in the 40s, 50s and 60s, Israel was a pit bull of a nation. But during the intervening years, thanks to a left-wing population and a series of left-wing prime ministers who more closely resemble Michelle Obama than Golda Meir, Israel has been reduced to the condition of a toothless poodle that wags its tail anytime someone utters the words “peace process” within earshot. By the way, “peace process,” when translated into Arabic means “Give us more land and, in return, we might stop firing missiles at your civilians for the next five minutes.”

Another bit of hooey that’s enjoyed credence, at least in right-wing circles, was a recent survey that indicated that whereas only 20% of Americans identified themselves as liberals, twice as many call themselves conservatives. Frankly, I’m astounded and embarrassed that so many of my fellow conservatives accepted this as solid evidence that Americans were coming to their senses. I have to wonder how could so many otherwise intelligent people overlook the obvious fact that the survey wasn’t a scientific measurement. It merely asked people what they were.

Well, I would think that everyone realizes that there are a great many people who are liberal but would prefer not labeling themselves as such for the sake of a survey. After all, all by themselves, blacks -- 90% of whom are Democrats -- constitute about 14% of the population. Toss in Jewish voters, 80% of whom are Democrats, and you add a couple more percentage points. Add youngsters between the age of 18 and 30, most of whom are registered Democrats, and you can easily see how absurd those survey numbers are.

The truth is that in every presidential election, 40% of the people will vote for any Republican and 40% will vote for any Democrat. It’s that remaining 20% who regard themselves as moderates or independents, but are actually political nincompoops and can be swayed by slogans as mindless as “Hope and Change,” who unfortunately determine election results. It’s from their ranks that you also find the five or ten percent who, even a week before an election, remain undecided. That isn’t because they are carefully weighing the pros and cons of the candidates or the issues, but because, more often than not, they are totally clueless.

What I find scary is that even some of my fellow pundits bought into that survey, somehow ignoring the obvious fact that in spite of the 20% showing by liberals, twice that number think Obama is doing a swell job. Who do they think those additional people are? Erstwhile conservatives who’ve seen the error of their ways? Whigs who had second thoughts and have snuck back in from Canada?

The problem is that the pundits forgot that most liberals, in and out of the media, are so delusional, they actually believe their positions on such matters as ObamaCare, Cap and Trade, the stimulus bill and card checks, are sensible and middle of the road, and that they, themselves, are moderates.

Their lunacy is in such an advanced stage that they never even wonder why it is, if they’re so darn moderate, that on every major issue, they are in total agreement with socialists like Bernie Sanders, communists like Noam Chomsky and Van Jones, and just plain crazy people like Barack Obama, Henry Waxman and Harry Reid.

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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Every Day Should Be Veterans Day

To all veterans,

We don't say it as often as we should:

Thank you for your service to our country. Here's a little something for us to remember.

Burt and Yvonne and Kenn (editor)

Post-Election Elation

by Burt Prelutsky

On a whole, I thought it was a wonderful election. It wasn’t just that I astonished myself with my prognostications, which consisted of predicting a pick-up of seven seats in the Senate and 65 in the House, but that a couple of candidates I truly despised went down in ignominious defeat. Even if, God forbid, I were a Democrat, I like to think I would have cheered the departure of Florida’s Charley Crist and Alan Grayson from the political landscape.

Now that they are unemployed, Grayson will have time to seek some much-needed professional help, while Crist can continue working on his tan and devoting himself to the career he was born to pursue; namely, squiring rich, elderly, widows across a dance floor.

I was so elated with the election results, I even managed to spot the silver lining in Harry Reid’s victory, keeping in mind that even if he had lost, the Democrats were going to maintain control of the Senate. The way I see it, Reid, who owes his political success to the unions and Nevada’s gambling interests, is one of the most despised people in politics. So, if Obama doesn’t object to the old pickle puss being the high-profile promoter of his policies, I certainly don’t. Making my joy complete is the fact that Reid’s re-election means that Charley Schumer’s dream of ascending to the position of Senate majority leader is now placed on hold, probably forever.

Some people, as happens during and after every election, bemoan negative campaigning. To which I say, some people should have to sit and eat at the children’s table. So far as I’m concerned, if you don’t have bad things to say about your opponent, you not only shouldn’t be running, you should probably stay home and vote for him!

It’s been a lot of fun watching the liberals fulminating about the ignorance, not to mention bigotry, of the American voter. Isn’t it amazing how dumb and racist those voters became since 2008?

Some liberals even went so far as to accuse Republicans, along with those Independents who abandoned them, of being crazy. I find it fascinating that they’ll label 70 million reasonable, responsible, tax-paying Americans as crazy, but these politically correct loons will turn right around and have a gigantic hissy fit if you refer to actual paranoiacs and schizophrenics as crazy people.

Speaking of those knotholes on the left, in spite of their loudly proclaimed munificence, it’s worth noting this holiday season that socialists and communists make up the majority of Americans who subscribe to the belief that it is better to receive than to give.

Lest the GOP misread the election results, they should keep in mind that Obama, Pelosi and Reid, America’s axis of evil, made it very easy to vote against the party of stimulus bills, ObamaCare, card checks, Cap & Tax, and kowtowing to our sworn enemies. In short, this wasn’t a coronation, but merely a stay of execution for a party that arrogantly blew off conservatives from 2001-2007.

Finally, speaking for Glenn Beck and myself, the best news of all was that Woodrow Wilson wasn’t re-elected.


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Monday, November 8, 2010

A Once Golden, Now Tarnished, California

by Burt Prelutsky

My more compassionate readers often write to me, wondering how I can stand to live in California. Believe me, I feel very shallow when I start describing the weather, but 320 really pleasant days a year mean a lot at my age. It means I can expect to play tennis just about any day I feel like it. It means I don’t have to worry about putting up and taking down storm windows, driving on icy roads, concern myself with cyclones and tornadoes or deal with humidity or condor-sized mosquitoes.

On the other hand, people like to point out that I miss out on the change of seasons. Which, translated, means I don’t have to suffer through three awful seasons in order to better appreciate the fourth.

We Californians do have an occasional earthquake, and drought is a constant concern. But no place is perfect. At least no place you can get to without first shuffling off this mortal coil. Drought is bad, but I’ll take it over, say, Seattle’s constant deluge. If the choice comes down to brown grass or the persistent aroma of mildew, I know which one gets my vote.

Speaking of voting, I’d really rather not, at least when it comes to California. But when discussing the pros and cons of my home state, it’s impossible to avoid our moronic voters and our sleazy politicians. I have no doubt that people all over America woke up on November 3rd, checked the election results and concluded that their spouse had had one of those phony newspapers printed up as a belated April Fool’s Day gag.

Surely we didn’t once again elect Jerry Brown to be our governor. No way we returned Barbara (“Don’t call me ma’am”) Boxer to the Senate. But, indeed we did. Missouri may be the “Show Me State,” but California is the “We’ll Show You State.”

Unfortunately, what we insist on showing the rest of you is how brain-dead we are when it comes to voting. We are in the midst of a financial meltdown that rivals Greece’s, so, naturally, our response is to keep re-electing the morons who caused it in the first place.

It’s like a weird game of poker. New York opens the betting with Charles Schumer, Anthony Weiner and Charley Rangel. California not only sees the bet, but raises with Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Jerry Brown, Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman, Gavin Newsome and Brad Sherman, and hauls in the pot.

Propositions are one of the zaniest aspects of our elections. The way these things are written is so confusing that you might think that James Joyce returned from the dead in even-numbered years to compose them. More than once, if you favored a specific proposition, you were required to vote NO.

While it’s true that the election booklets contain pro and con arguments, they occasionally read like treatises written by a committee consisting of Jesuit priests, Talmudic scholars and Groucho Marx. For my part, I skip all the flapdoodle and check out the groups supporting or opposing the measures. If the Teachers Union or La Raza is for it, I’m against it.

In conclusion, I should state that months ago, when Bill O’Reilly’s favorite seer, Dick Morris, insisted that Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina were certain to defeat Jerry Brown and Mrs. Boxer, I said that, while marijuana wouldn’t be legalized in California, perhaps it already was in Morris’s home state.

What I don’t know is if he made an honest miscalculation or simply decided to take a wild guess, knowing that if his predictions came true, he would be hailed as the new Nostradamus, and if they lost, nobody would remember.

In either case, that’s show business. It’s quite a different thing when, one day, Obama tells Hispanic voters that Republicans are their enemies, and the next day he claims he’s anxious to work with Republicans for the good of all Americans. That’s not show business, folks. It’s not even politics as usual. It’s cynical racism at its worst.

The guy in the White House is constantly trying to divide Americans, and it doesn’t seem to matter to him whether it’s rich against poor, blacks against whites, Latinos against non-Hispanics or 49 states and the U.N. against Arizona. This is the creep who promised to bring us all together? Liberals used to wail about Nixon’s notorious enemy’s list. How is it they’re not the least bit concerned with this creep’s?

It seems that, instead of modeling himself on Washington, Adams and Jefferson, Obama decided to use Yasser Arafat as his role model. Arafat enjoyed nothing better than sounding reasonable and conciliatory when hoodwinking American presidents, and then showing his true bloodthirsty colors when addressing his followers in Arabic.

The disadvantage for Obama is that while he has a forked tongue, he can only speak one language.


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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Juan Big Hullabaloo

by Burt Prelutsky

If I had ever imagined for even a second that Juan Williams would be at the center of a controversy, I would have guessed that he had appeared on TV wearing a turtleneck instead of his customary tie and jacket.

Mr. Williams, after all, has done very well for himself being the well-mannered, soft-spoken, black house liberal on the various Fox opinion shows. He is less moronic than Alan Colmes, less egotistical than Geraldo Rivera and better-looking than Leslie Marshall.

So imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning to discover that NPR had fired him because of some innocuous comments he had made about Muslims on The Factor. He had merely confessed that he gets nervous when he sees Muslims in full regalia at the airport. Well, with apologies to Steve Martin, excuuussse me. But if Muslims aren’t supposed to make us nervous at airports, why do I have to stand in line for an hour going through security, remove my shoes, belt, keys and wallet, and flash my ID 27 times before boarding an airplane?

Is it, perhaps, because those darn Swedes are acting up again? Is it possible that those rascally Aussies are planning an invasion? Or have the Amish finally decided it’s high time we all got rid of our cars and phones, and started getting around in horse-drawn surreys, the way God intended? One can almost hear their blood-curdling battle cry: “Today, Pennsylvania; tomorrow, the world!”

Everyone who has the good fortune not to be Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar or any of those other politically correct creeps on the left, knows that most of the worst mischief being caused all around the globe has Allah at its source. Does that mean that every Muslim is a terrorist? Of course not. Some of them merely fund the terrorism.

We should never lose sight of the fact that not every Russian was a Communist and not every German was a Nazi. But enough of them were, so that tens of millions of innocent people died before the reigns of terror ended. And just because a Muslim isn’t cold-blooded enough to be a killer of women and children doesn’t mean they disapprove of those who are. Otherwise, why have so many of them cheered on Arafat, bin Laden and Ahmadinejad, and why have so few, even here in America, spoken out against the butchers who act in the name of their religion?

Be all that as it may, it was my friend, Ron Radosh, who contended in an early morning email that NPR had wanted to unload Williams ever since he spoke out against the NAACP and the racist policy it adopted after its glory days in the 60s. These days, the NAACP is as anti-white and as leftwing as any group in America. But how would it look, Radosh mused, if NPR axed a black man for speaking out against a black group? But once Williams voiced his rather benign comments about Muslims, it provided NPR with the perfect cover to do what they’d been aching to do for
the past year.

Speaking of the NAACP, isn’t it rather insensitive for them to continue calling themselves the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People? Even David Duke doesn’t call them colored people. I guess the reason they don’t change “Colored People” to “African Americans” is that the NAAAA sounds too much like an auto club.

One thing I hope a Republican House will do is to finally quit funding NPR with our tax dollars. They don’t have to say it’s because National Public Radio does nothing but parrot whatever crapola it’s fed by the DNC. To disguise their true motives, they can follow NPR’s sneaky example and merely blame it on the economy.

When, later in the day, Radosh praised Juan Williams for speaking out against NPR for firing him, I suggested he was over-reacting. Mr. Williams is neither a martyr nor a hero. For one thing, before the day was over, Fox had extended his contract and given him a raise. I am betting he will also get his own show, although between his regular appearances with Bret Baier, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Von Sustern, I’m betting he already has more camera time than any of them.

Furthermore, nothing had changed during those 24 hours except that NPR had fired him. He had been quite happy to cash their checks for several years in spite of NPR’s being nothing but a propaganda machine for the loony left. There was nothing noble or heroic about Williams biting the hand that had fed him so well. It was merely a case of sour grapes. It’s much like the career criminal who finally sees the error of his ways…once the handcuffs have been slapped on his wrists.

I do have a question, though. For years, the definition of a conservative was a liberal who’d been mugged. I wonder if now that he’s been mugged, Juan Williams will finally see the light.

But for those of you who don’t believe Radosh when he suggests that NPR had been biding its time, waiting for a politically correct excuse to dump Williams without alienating its fan base of unrepentant 65-year-old hippies, I’ll whisper just two little words: Helen Thomas.

Don’t you suspect that the Hearst organization was overjoyed when she made her vile comments about Jews and Israel? I’m betting there were champagne corks popping all over the home office.

Or do you really think they wanted their White House correspondent to be a nasty, senile 90-year-old crone whose face had been stopping clocks and frightening children all over Washington, D.C, for the previous 20 years?

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Monday, November 1, 2010

Plain Talk About Voting and Church Attendance

by Burt Prelutsky

No matter how much attention a person tries to devote to the political scene, some questions appear to be unanswerable. For instance, with Nevada, a state suffering from an unemployment rate hovering around 15%, why is Harry Reid, a man with the personality of an unsuccessful undertaker, running neck-and-neck with Sharron Angle? Is it that extra “r” in her first name? Do Nevadans fear that someone given to wasting letters is a greater danger than a senator who doesn’t think twice about squandering their tax dollars?

And what’s with the voters in West Virginia? Barack Obama vowed in 2008 to bury the coal industry and send our energy costs soaring, and the folks in West Virginia can’t decide between the Democrat and the Republican in the Senate race? Perhaps all that coal dust has affected their brains.

For that matter, what is it with those undecided voters? According to the polls, in some congressional races, there are still 10% of the voters who haven’t made up their minds. After nearly two years of Obama, Pelosi and Reid, running America into the ground, why would anyone remain undecided? I realize that conservatives and sensible Independents will vote for the GOP, just as I understand that dopey left-wingers and youngsters, who are convinced that other people should pay their way through college and that their parents should pay for everything else, will vote for Democrats, but who the heck are all these lunkheads who will apparently flip a coin on election day?

Much has been made of Barack Obama foregoing golf so that he could take his family to church services on Sunday, September 19th. Cynics wrote it off as a political, not spiritual, gesture. But it seems that there might be more to it than that.

Perhaps because St. John’s Episcopal Church is just across the street from the White House, folks assumed the choice was merely based on its convenient location. But I’m not so sure that was the case.

For one thing, St. John’s pastor, Rev. Luis Leon, delivered a sermon that day that dealt with Matthew 20:1-16. Apparently the parable tells of a landowner who needed to have his crop harvested quickly, and at the end of the day he paid those who had only worked for the final hour the same amount that he paid those who had labored in the heat throughout the entire day.

According to Rev. Leon, “The full-day workers believed in the world of merit, not the world of grace.” In their eyes, according to the pastor, the owner’s graciousness was seen as injustice. Instead of seeing themselves as selfish or self-absorbed, they saw the landowner as unfair, and the tragedy, Rev. Leon told his congregation, is that they estranged themselves from the source of graciousness.

The pastor, it seems, believes that payment should be determined not according to ability or even effort, but simply according to need. Or, in other words, he was making a case for the redistribution of wealth. I’m sure he got a big shout-out from at least one person in the congregation that day.

At St. John’s, where apparently the Gospel According to St. Marx is promoted, they have a series of guest speakers. On that particular Sunday, the speaker was Dr. Ziad Asali. Dr. Asali is described as a Middle East activist. If that sounds something like a community organizer, there’s a good reason. It seems Dr. Asali has addressed Congress on more than one occasion, demanding additional aid for the Palestinian Authority and complaining about “Israel’s disproportionate use of force in Gaza.” In case you haven’t noticed, “disproportionate use of force” is Arab and Muslim code for “How dare the Jews defend themselves!”

Among Dr. Asali’s nefarious activities was serving as a member of the U.S. delegation to Yasser Arafat’s funeral. Which strikes me as a highly questionable honor unless it was to make certain that the Nobel Prize-winning terrorist was, in the words of the coroner of Oz, “not only merely dead, but really most sincerely dead.” The corpse in this case wasn’t the Wicked Witch of the East, but of the Middle East.

I know that many people were disappointed that as a self-proclaimed Christian, Barack Obama had only attended church three times in a year. But I suspect that now that he knows that Washington’s St. John’s isn’t all that different from Chicago’s Trinity United, he and Michelle will be occupying the amen corner from now on.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

Write to: BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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