Thursday, December 30, 2010

Rorschaching the Left

by Burt Prelutsky

Back in 1921, Hermann Rorschach developed a set of cards to be used in analyzing possible personality disorders in psychological patients. Theoretically, at least, if a person “saw” certain images in the inkblots, he was considered normal. Otherwise, if, for instance, where most people spotted a butterfly, he saw Leon Trotsky getting bashed with an axe, he stood a good chance of being hatched with the other boobies.

Speaking of boobies, I have often wondered if one liberal has ever said to another liberal: “I know what the playbook says our position is, but do you actually know why we’re opposed to law-abiding citizens owning guns?” or “Why are all the people on our side, like Joy Behar, Rosie O’Donnell, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chris Matthews, Anthony Weiner, Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann and Jimmy Carter, so damn obnoxious?” or “What makes us think that George Bush is stupider than John Kerry, Al Gore and Joe Biden? Those guys seem really, really dumb to me.” or “Why are Republican First Ladies so much classier than ours?” or “Why are multi-millionaires like the Obamas, the Clintons, Dianne Feinstein, Jay Rockefeller, Charles Schumer, Barbara Boxer and Michael Bloomberg, always declaring war on the wealthy? And if they think the rich aren’t paying enough in taxes, why don’t they set a good example and pay more of their own? Instead, guys like Charley Rangel and Tim Geithner don’t believe in paying any.”

College students are known for experimenting with drugs, booze and sex. Wouldn’t it be nice, not to mention novel, if once in a while they experimented with thinking for themselves, instead of parroting the claptrap espoused by leftwing professors who are as besotted with the likes of Noam Chomsky, Saul Alinsky and Che Guevara, as teenage girls are with the Jonas brothers?

When you hear such dunderheads as Michael Moore, Bill Maher and Nora Ephron, get together to deride George Bush, Sarah Palin and Tea Party members, as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, you realize that the liberal elite have brought the caste system over from India. Instead of the untouchables, they’ve decided that those on the lowest rung of society are those who disagree with them.

It’s fascinating how in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, leftists continue to regard themselves as the highest form of intelligent life. For instance, they persist in believing that even though private companies do a better job of delivering the mail, it makes perfect sense to continue subsidizing the postal service to the tune of billions of dollars a year.

Their faith in government goes far beyond the zealotry of religious converts. Like the rest of us, liberals will grumble about nobody ever answering the phone at the DMV; they will grouse about congressional ethics committees winking at corruption; they’ll gripe about a trillion dollars being blown on “shovel-ready” jobs; sometimes they’ll even acknowledge that it’s not right that those working for the government get more in salary, pension and medical benefits, than the folks in the private sector who have to support them with their taxes. But in spite of all that, liberals remain convinced that Big Brother knows best.

At least that’s what they believe so long as Big Brother has a (D) after his name. They never seem to fathom that any freedom and liberty they surrender to the Democrats will eventually wind up in the hands of the Republicans. Apparently because they are as stupid as a bag of rocks, that obvious fact consistently eludes them.

The latest example of liberal insanity is the program they came up with to keep airliners safe. I have no way of knowing if Janet Napolitano dreamt it up after dining on ice cream and pickles, but it seems like the sort of spooky brainstorm that the Penguin, the Joker or Osama bin Laden, might have devised in one of their more diabolical moments.

Knowing full well that liberals would rather see an American city obliterated by a nuclear device -- at least so long as it was a city in the Midwest or the South -- than run the risk of embarrassing or annoying a Muslim, it was inevitable that they’d find a new way to embarrass and piss off the rest of us. As if it wasn’t bad enough that they made it national policy to confiscate shampoo bottles, tiny nail clippers and our “I Hate the TSA” buttons, the Obama administration decided to double down by giving airline passengers the dubious choice of being sexually assaulted or being zapped with radiation.

As a result of the new policy, fewer people are flying. But airport parking lots continue to be jam-packed. That’s because a great many people, very sad and lonely people, are showing up, insisting they be patted down by security personnel on the outside chance that they may have inadvertently stuck a bomb in their underpants.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Monday, December 27, 2010

The Lamest Duck of All

by Burt Prelutsky

The question, boys and girls, is: Just how dumb do you have to be in order to be a Republican politician?

I actually believed those ignoramuses had learned their lesson after the elections of 2006 and 2008. I was convinced that they’d seen the error of their ways, that cozying up to the likes of Ted Kennedy and Russ Feingold could only lead to both liberals and conservatives holding them in utter contempt.

I was certain that the recent mid-term elections would drive home the point that most voters were experiencing buyers remorse after four years of Pelosi and Reid, and two years of Barack Obama. But, as the lame duck session proved, you can never go wrong underestimating the intelligence of Republican office holders. From this vantage point, it appeared that at the very time when Obama was on the ropes and being chastised by the most left-wing elements of his party, the Republicans decided to buck him up.

Instead of waiting for the newly elected congress to deal with the Bush tax cuts by forcing Obama to either keep them at their current level for everyone or to let them rise on the middle class, something even he wouldn’t have done, the Republicans elected to extend unemployment insurance by 13 months, thus providing Obama with his latest budget-busting stimulus program. When I was young, you got six months of benefits. Now you can get three years. At this rate, soon only natural-born suckers will bother working at all.

Then, in spite of those members of the military who are actually fighting and dying in Iraq and Afghanistan being opposed to repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the GOP used the most cockeyed poll in history as an excuse to go along with the liberals.

Finally, in order to make Christmas, 2010, the best one ever for Obama, a fair number of Republican lunkheads voted for the START treaty, which simultaneously served to fill Vladimir Putin’s head with visions of sugar plum fairies.

The first question that comes to mind is why we’re still making nuclear treaties with the Russians. Rumor has it the Cold War is over. Inasmuch as the preamble to the treaty suggests that we might be denied the right to pursue missile defense systems, which was the only reason Russia negotiated the treaty in the first place, what was the big rush to make it the first treaty ever enacted during a lame duck session?

Charles Krauthammer refers to Obama as the Comeback Kid, basing that conclusion on the fact that he rebounded so miraculously after the shellacking the Democrats received in November. Krauthammer is right, but the comeback is entirely due to the Republicans taking a collective dive. Talk about snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory!

I think that those folks who assumed that, like Clinton, who was forced to move to the center after the 1994 mid-term elections, Obama would become more moderate over the next two years, might be whistling in the dark. With the Republicans acting as his enabler, there might not be any reason at all for Obama to kick his addiction to socialist policies.

I can only hope that the new congressional Republicans will be up to the challenge facing them not only from the progressives on the left, but from the gutless biddies in their own party. If they falter, I’m confident that Tea Party patriots will be around to remind them what happens to RINOs. As any number of them learned during the last election, there’s another elephant graveyard besides the one in Africa.

In the meantime, like Santa Claus, I’m keeping my own list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. I don’t want to forget the names of those who filled the President’s Christmas stocking with so many goodies.

Just to help you along, the 13 “Republicans” who helped provide Barack Obama and Harry Reid with the super majority required to pass START, they were Corker and Alexander from Tennessee, Snowe and Collins from Maine, Brown (Massachusetts), Bennett (Utah), Murkowski (Alaska), Voinovich (Ohio), Cochran (Mississippi), Gregg (New Hampshire), Isakson (Georgia), Johanns ( Nebraska) and Lugar, the pride of Indiana. The reason that the vote was 71-26 when there are 100 members of the Senate was because three Republicans, Bond (Missouri), Bunning (Kentucky) and Brownback (Kansas), all decided to play hooky because they apparently had more important things to do than vote on a major arms treaty.

I’m sure that Obama’s only regret is that he didn’t ask Santa for Cap & Trade, card checks and the opportunity to make Ramadan a national holiday, while he was at it.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Trials and Errors

by Burt Prelutsky

Radio talk show host Dennis Prager posed the following question: What’s the difference between the voters in California and the passengers on the Titanic? The obvious answer was that the poor souls on the doomed ship didn’t vote to hit the iceberg.

That’s a very funny line, unless you happen to be a conservative living in California.

The problem with liberals is that they never learn from their mistakes. What’s worse is that they never stop making mistakes. Instead of changing their awful ways, the only lesson they derive from their endless failures is to double their efforts. Thus, when they find themselves in a hole, instead of climbing out, they merely dig faster.

When you consider their recent setbacks, you’d think liberals would finally conclude they don’t know squat about decision-making. For instance, Obama makes a highly publicized trip to Asia and comes back with nothing to show for it except an aversion to shrimp and another 20,000 frequent flier miles.

He got back in time to see a New York jury acquit Muslim terrorist Ahmed Ghailani on 284 charges. Inasmuch as Obama and Holder had pretty much guaranteed that Ghailani would be found guilty of everything, including jaywalking and neglecting to separate his trash, this left their decision to try him in a civilian court looking not only naïve, but down right criminal.

During the same time frame, after spending two years and millions of dollars, a congressional ethics committee found Charles Rangel guilty on all counts. His punishment was cruel and but not unusual; he had to sit and listen to his equally corrupt colleagues pretend they existed on a higher moral plane. It made Charley cry. It made me cringe.

I have always found it odd that the folks of West Virginia keep electing Jay Rockefeller to the U.S. Senate. I can see electing him once, hoping he’ll use his own money to bail out the state. But once that didn’t happen, there’s no explaining such bizarre behavior.

Recently, Rockefeller urged the FCC to knock Fox and MSNBC off the air. Aside from the fact that this senator didn’t know that cable stations don’t come under the purview of the FCC, we once again have a liberal politician exhibiting his fascistic tendencies by voicing his displeasure with that pesky 1st amendment.

The mere idea that Rockefeller would attempt to pass off this bit of verbal excretion as balanced by adding MSNBC as an after-thought shows how inept the left is even when it comes to propaganda. Is anyone really supposed to believe that this limousine lib is offended by the likes of Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews or that MSNBC comes anywhere close to having the power and influence of Fox?

What’s more, whereas conservatives are rarely invited to even make an appearance on MSNBC, the following liberals not only show up regularly on Fox, but most of them are on salary: Geraldo Rivera, Lis Wiehl, Greta Van Susteren, Juan Williams, Al Sharpton, Jon Stewart, Alan Colmes, Marc Lamont Hill, Bob Beckel, Leslie Marshall, Lanny Davis, Doug Schoen, Ellis Henican, Chris Wallace, George Stephanopoulos, Mara Liasson and Scott Fenstermaker.

What more do you think Fox could do to satisfy John D. Rockefeller’s great-grandson? Perhaps cancel Glenn Beck and replace him with “South American Idol,” starring that delightful Latin merrymaker, Hugo Chavez?

Finally, when I consider the amount of time and taxpayer money squandered on the trials of tax cheat Charley Rangel and Al Qaeda operative Ahmed Ghailani, I’m reminded once again of the dangers inherent in people being tried by a jury of their peers.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Lamentations From LA-LA Land

by Burt Prelutsky

I continue to receive condolences from friends around the country. They’re worried about how I’m holding up after the mid-term elections in my home state. While they’ve been celebrating the results in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, Florida and so many other places, they realize that what took place in California has to depress any true conservative.

The truth is that the only thing that keeps the disappointment from overwhelming me is that the election results were so predictable. This is California, after all, so why would I, or anyone other than Dick Morris, be shocked that the liberals ran the board?

Let’s face it -- if California were one person instead of nearly 40 million, that poor soul would be institutionalized for his own good.

Things are so bad out here that the one question that plagued me during the entire campaign season wasn’t, as it was with so many others, why Meg Whitman would blow $140 million running for governor, but why she’d even want the job. The money, after all, was inconsequential. Did anyone really worry whether Ms. Whitmore had a billion dollars set aside for a rainy day or whether she’d have to struggle by with a mere $860 million?

But why, when nearly every single member of the state legislature is a leftwing loon, would she imagine that a Republican governor could get anything done? I finally decided she wanted to be governor simply because she wanted to be governor, so that one day, if someone called her “ma’am,” she’d have been able to say, “Would you please call me Governor? I spent a lot of moolah to get that title.”

While I’m sure that most people are aware that Jerry Brown is once again our governor, they may not know that he is the answer to both of the following questions: One, who was the youngest person ever elected governor of California, and, two, who was the oldest person?

They may also be unaware that our newly elected lieutenant governor is Gavin Newsome. His victory, like that of Brown and Boxer, was never in doubt. After all, as mayor of San Francisco, he had pulled off the liberal trifecta. He had given his official blessing to same-sex marriages, he had made San Francisco a sanctuary city for illegal aliens and he had once been involved in a nasty sex scandal involving him and the wife of his best friend/campaign manager.

I say, keep an eye on that one. Newsome’s a comer. With his track record, it’s written in the stars that the Democrats will some day run him for president.

That brings us back to Jerry Brown. He is now 72. When he was first elected governor, he was 37. Being a liberal, it’s no surprise that his politics haven’t evolved the least little bit over the course of 35 years. You know the old saying: If a man isn’t a liberal at 20, he has no heart; if he isn’t a conservative at 40, he has no brain; and if he’s still a liberal at 72, it’s a safe bet he holds public office in New York, Massachusetts or California.

The wisdom and seasoning that normally come with marriage, children and holding a job in the private sector, was side-stepped by Jerry Brown, who didn’t get around to tying the knot until he was 68 and who has rarely spent more than a few days over the past half century when he wasn’t passing himself off as a public servant. Come to think of it, it’s not all that different with academicians who never leave a college campus from the time they’re 18 until they keel over in a lecture hall, while informing their young charges that Washington and Jefferson were villains and Che Guevara and Mao Tse-tung were heroes.

Even when Jerry Brown was first elected governor, back in the mid-70s, California was hardly ideal. It was, after all, the nation’s capital when it came to pot-smoking, wife-swapping and crackpot religious cults. But at least we still had pretty decent schools, a thriving economy, and once in a while we managed to elect Republicans.

Because the weather was great and the natural environment, which included mountains, deserts, forests and hundreds of miles of magnificent coastline, even non-believers were known to call it God’s country.

These days, as it plunges ever deeper in debt, God might very well be facing a foreclosure notice.

So, when well-meaning friends ask me how it is conceivable that the people of California would continue electing the very same creeps who created the monumental mess in the first place, all I can do is shrug and say, “Our weather is balmy, but our voters are balmier.”

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Thursday, December 16, 2010


by Burt Prelutsky

It’s easy to figure out why the various dictatorships in the Middle East have made a scapegoat of Israel. It allows the various imams and sheiks to keep their oppressed masses focused on a common enemy, lest they awaken and realize that it’s not the Jews who keep the men poor and powerless and keep the women ignorant and oppressed.

Trying to figure out why government leaders, universities and individuals, in so-called civilized nations choose to side with Arabs and Muslims, who not only out-number Israel’s Jewish population 300,000-1, but who represent the antithesis of everything Americans and Europeans allegedly hold dear is the real mystery.

A visitor from another planet would see on one side a people, Israelis, who are educated and accomplished, who believe in freedom of speech, religion and assembly, who defend a free press and who subscribe to the full equality of the sexes.

On the other side, he would see people who, in the 21st century, think, live and behave no differently than their ancestors did 1300 years ago. They stone to death adulterers, they behead their enemies, they perform female mutilations as part of their religion, they make martyrs of those who suicide-bomb school buses and pizza parlors, they rain missiles down on civilians and, proving that they nevertheless have a droll sense of humor, they refer to their religion as one of peace.

If you asked the alien which group a free and democratic people would favor, he would assume it was a trick question. When told that the majority of people in the western world favored the latter group, he would assume it was a trick answer.

His next order of business would be to get back to his space ship and get away from these lunatics as fast as he could.

The question as to why America’s leaders, academicians and young people, choose to hate Israelis, why they continue to believe the worst of them even when the photos and news stories purporting to show their villainy are proven to be clumsy attempts at propaganda, can only be explained by a deep-rooted anti-Semitism.

When Americans, who have experienced not only 9/11, but scores of other brutalities at the hands of Israel’s enemies over the past 30 years, continue siding with those same enemies, it’s impossible to explain except as rampant anti-Semitism.

When a nation that is rooted in Judeo-Christian values, whose Constitution and Declaration of Independence were based on those values, sides with those who despise liberty and freedom, the contradiction cannot be explained except as an anti-Semitism that is bred in the bone. And isn’t it odd that the very same people who go around insisting that “separation of church and state” actually exists in the Constitution have no problem at all defending Muslim theocracies?

No matter how many trains are blown up in Spain, no matter how many riots and murders are committed in France or England, Russia, Germany or Holland, the anti-Semites of Europe inevitably excuse the actual perpetrators, while holding the Jews accountable.

Perhaps if God made an appearance and announced: “When I made them my chosen people, I did not choose for them to be sacrificed to the barbarians,” the world would shape up.

Short of that, my money is on the barbarians.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Monday, December 13, 2010

My Year-End Report

by Burt Prelutsky

There are those who still can’t believe that while the voters in most of the other states were belatedly coming to their senses, out here in California we were electing or re-electing the likes of Barbara Boxer, Jerry Brown, Gavin Newsome, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Brad Sherman and Henry Waxman. They weren’t even involved in close elections. In fact, the results were about as surprising as an Ethiopian winning a marathon.

Back when I was a kid, people were already calling this the land of fruits and nuts. Over the years, things have only gotten fruitier and nuttier. In fact, you won’t go wrong if you just think of California as one huge Mission Pak.

On weekends, when the usual talk show hosts are off the air, I often tune in to NPR. Recently, I was listening to Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home Companion.” For those unfamiliar with the format, it’s an hour-long mix of music -- including country, blues and gospel -- and comedy. On this particular show, Keillor used his Guy Noir character, a private eye in “a city that knows how to keep its secrets,” to do 10 minutes of dumb jokes on the theme of George W. Bush’s alleged stupidity.

Even on NPR, you would think they’d give it a rest after all this time. I guess it’s safe to assume that even if President Bush used his free time to cure cancer, most of the pointy-heads on the left would still be taking him to task over the way he pronounces “nuclear.”

A while back, the brilliant Thomas Sowell observed, “Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.” It’s certainly an apt description of the Carter and Obama administrations. My only quibble is that I would go back at least five decades.

Knowing how embarrassed I am, as a Jew, knowing that 75% of Jews will vote for absolutely any Democrat on the ballot, I wonder about the shame that a black conservative such as Sowell and Walter Williams must experience knowing that over 90% of their fellow blacks will vote for the party that helped destroy the fabric of the black family and continues to treat them like aborigines who are unable to cope with modern civilization. The truth of the matter is that I treat my dog with more dignity and respect than the Democrats treat black Americans.

Sometimes, I think that if there weren’t black people, liberals would have had to invent them.

Thanks to the mid-term election results, things are now looking so bleak for the liberals that I fully expect some of the Democrats in Congress to start demanding that Obama come up with a legitimate birth certificate.

Dick Morris, who is right about as often as a broken clock, has suggested that Hillary Clinton might take on Obama in the 2012 primaries if the economy continues to be lousy and if his approval numbers continue to plunge. As a conservative, I’d love to see that cat fight. But I don’t believe that, as ambitious as she is, she would commit political suicide just to make me happy. After all, can you imagine black voters trooping out to elect the white woman responsible for making Obama a one-term president?

Speaking of Obama, am I the only one who thinks he’d be well-advised to seek psychiatric help? I mean, here’s a guy who in the wake of a massive repudiation of his policies by the American voters, insisted that his only failing was in not fully explaining the beauty of ObamaCare. He said this in spite of having delivered, by actual count, 238 speeches on the subject!

I swear, those fellows who go around with their hand stuck in their shirt, claiming to be Napoleon Bonaparte, have a tighter grip on reality than this mug.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Surviving Earthquakes and Political Correctness

by Burt Prelutsky

There are still Americans around who could have stood their ground, shoulder-to-shoulder, with this nation’s founders at Concord and Valley Forge. You find them fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, and you’ll see them showing up at Tea Party events. But, too many of us have become timid, terrified of offending, more fearful than school children of being called names by liberals. Somewhere along the way, we have become the land of the not so free and the home of the not so brave.

Rather than risk being accused of racial insensitivity, we stand silently by while public funds are used to build footbaths for Muslims. At the same time, we allow craven politicians to banish Christmas trees from city property and permit cowardly school boards to call “Christmas vacation” anything but Christmas vacation. And a happy Winter Solstice to you and yours!

We anesthetize ourselves with football games and American Idol while our public schools deify Islam, assigning kids to adopt Muslim names and wear Islamic garb as part of class projects, while liberal secularists pretend that the 1st Amendment makes America a religion-free zone.

Thanks to nothing but cowardice masquerading as racial tolerance, we turn a blind eye to a 70% illegitimate birth rate among blacks and a 50% dropout rate among black high school kids, and pretend that these numbers aren’t a blemish on the nation and justification for racial shame.

Furthermore, when race hustlers such as Jesse Jackson, Maxine Waters, Charley Rangel and Al Sharpton, blame black poverty on white Americans, rather than on the lack of initiative and education that permeates the black community, far too many of us sit quietly and accept their insults and scorn like a bunch of sheep.

When black ministers sell their pulpits to Democrats during presidential election campaigns, we don’t make liberals explain why, suddenly, they’re not yammering about “separation of church and state” or why “reverend” so often seems to be the honorific that black racists and con men employ as camouflage.

Speaking of courage, I recently dismissed earthquakes in what might have appeared to be cavalier fashion. I’m neither that brave nor that oblivious. It’s just that major earthquakes, even here in San Andreas fault country, are quite rare.

The scariest thing about them is that, unlike hurricanes and cyclones, they don’t warn you they’re coming. Instead, like obnoxious neighbors and relatives, they just suddenly show up on your doorstep.

Having grown up in Southern California, I’ve been hearing about the mythical “Big One” for most of my life. Frankly, I’d hate to think they could come any bigger than the Northridge earthquake, whose epicenter was a scant two miles due west of our house. To best describe the sensation for those of you who have thus far been spared, imagine you’re in a dollhouse, minding your own business, sipping tea from a tiny teacup or asleep in a tiny bed, when suddenly an insane monster picks up the dollhouse and begins shaking it up and down for what seems like several hours.

After surviving these experiences, I am invariably left with two questions. The first is: What exactly do seismologists do between earthquakes? We know that in the aftermath, they show up on TV and let us know that the quake measured a 4.8 or 5.3 or 6.7 on the old seismograph at Cal Tech. But inasmuch as these so-called experts are worse than my dog at predicting the darn things, why are they drawing a weekly salary?

The other question will, I hope, go unanswered in my lifetime: When the Big One finally comes along, will California be left looking like one massive pile of rubble or will the earth lift up like a huge cookie sheet and slide everything into the Pacific?

If it’s the latter, I sure hope that the U.S. Congress isn’t in session at the time, because I’d want the entire California contingent along for the ride. That’s what I’d call an act of God.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky>

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Monday, December 6, 2010

Trust Liberals At Your Own Peril

by Burt Prelutsky

I wonder why we still make office holders swear to defend the Constitution when, more often than not, they’re the very ones from whom it needs protection. Come to think of it, if anyone condemned our senators and congressmen for ignoring the Constitution, they could, with some justification, point at several members of the Supreme Court and say, “If they can ignore it, why can’t we?”

How much longer will we go on pretending that election days are anything but an excuse for liberals to make a mockery of the process? After all, every time there is an election that’s close, as was the case in Patty Murray’s first run for the Senate and in Al Franken’s race against Norm Coleman, the Democrats suddenly begin discovering uncounted ballots in cellars, attics, the trunks of their cars and the baby’s playpen. You would think that with union thugs, ACORN and the New Black Panther Party, at their beck and call, they wouldn’t have to stoop to such unseemly tactics.

What I find particularly disgusting is that the Democrats will happily stretch these elections out for as long as it takes to steal them, but they make dead certain that ballots cast by the members of our military in war zones never seem to arrive in time to be counted.

I heard recently that Julian Assange, the brains behind Wikileaks, the entity responsible for releasing thousands of classified documents, has hired a number of bodyguards to ensure his personal safety. Too bad that our soldiers and the more cooperative citizens of Iraq and Afghanistan, whose lives are now in increased jeopardy thanks to the leaks, can’t do the same. Actually, calling this self-important lout the brains behind the outfit is far too kind. He more closely resembles the gall bladder, the appendix or the lower colon.

Recently, I read that Muslims have murdered over 40,000 innocent people since 9/11. Which is why those liberals who are so eager to differentiate between so-called good Muslims and bad ones, but make no such distinction when referring to conservatives, Christians or Israelis, genuinely mystify me.

In spite of having financed our participation in World War I, the federal government, as of the late 1920s, somehow managed to get by with a 3% income tax rate. These days, your state’s income tax, alone, is likely to dwarf that figure. The question we should all ask ourselves is whether the federal government, a loathsome creature that is all stomach and no brain, has made America a better country over the past eight decades.

Finally, of all the leftists I abhor, I’d have to say that George Soros is at or near the top of the list. It’s not just because he is starting to look like Helen Thomas, either, although that certainly doesn’t help.

Every time I hear of some new despicable group that Soros is funding, I find myself wondering how much longer this spawn of Satan can keep it up. He is, after all, 80 years old. But it occurs to me that somewhere along the way, somebody must have said, “You know, George, you can’t take it with you when you go.” And then and there, the son of a bitch decided he’s not going!

©2010 Burt Prelutsky>

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Liberals Are Very Bad People

by Burt Prelutsky

I realize that good manners dictate that we shouldn’t generalize about a large group of people. Some would insist that’s the case even if that particular group enjoys nothing better than condemning others -- be they Republicans, Tea Party members, the Boy Scouts or evangelical Christians -- as fascists, racists, Astroturfers and bigots.

I’ll leave it to other conservatives to play the civility game. There’s no way I’ll play in a game where my opponents not only make up the rules as they go along, but mark the cards and deal from the bottom of the deck.

For instance, Juan Williams got fired from NPR, not because he is one of the dullest men on the face of the earth, but because, according to his bosses, he’d suggested that people wearing Muslim garb at the airport made him nervous. NPR insisted that he crossed the line and made him an abomination in their eyes. Well, I must say that is one very elusive line because Nina Totenberg once wished aloud that a blood transfusion would give Sen. Jesse Helms AIDS or, if not him, one of his grandchildren!

So the same vermin who get up in arms if someone dares to connect Barack Obama to William Ayers, and start hollering about McCarthy-like guilt by association, have no problem with wishing the worst on a child whose only sin is being associated with his or her grandfather.

Ms. Totenberg is of course still drawing a salary at NPR.

Liberals go into a frenzy every Columbus Day, insisting that the day the great explorer sighted America was one of the darkest days in recorded history. They see the white man as the destroyer of paradise.

The fact is there were only a few million Indians on all of what is now the United States. We are now a nation of 305 million and there is still a lot of empty space between our major cities. Were the Indians supposed to keep everyone out for all eternity?

The idea that all the Indians lived peacefully, at one with nature, is a load of hooey generated by white historians with an axe to grind and by the sort of Indian activists who have a collective hissy fit over sports teams being called the Braves, the Indians and the Chiefs.

There were peaceful tribes, but there were others who pretty much concentrated on murder, scalping and cannibalizing, members of other tribes. It was not the white man who introduced genocide to North America.

Speaking of tribes, I always wonder if these liberals regard the African continent as the Garden of Eden. While it’s true that whites took slaves, diamonds and natural resources out of Africa, it’s also true that Africans were involved in the slave trade long before Columbus set sail, and, what’s more, they still are, a century and a half after slavery was abolished in America.

The European colonizing nations weren’t always the kindest of caretakers, but I would venture that most black Africans have it even worse under the current black despots. But don’t hold your breath waiting for liberals to utter a negative word about black villains when it is so much safer and politically correct, to attack conservatives, Christians and Israel.

It is mainly liberals who are the simpletons who took up global warming as a cause and made a god of Al Gore, ignoring the fact that Gore was making millions of dollars off the hoax. You would think that left-wingers, especially the many atheists in their ranks, would question a god who not only made a fortune out of his holy mission, but refused to debate the issue and only spoke to true believers. And how is it that the same people who so eagerly point out the big homes, the fancy jewelry and all the other signs of religious hypocrisy for which televangelists are noted, aren’t the least bit skeptical of Mr. Gore? Apparently if a televangelist like Gore talks about the weather, instead of the hereafter, liberals not only don’t denounce him as a fraud, they give him the left-wing trifecta: an Emmy, an Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize.

Liberals pay no attention to the fact that when a few people actually noticed that the earth and the oceans were cooling, Gore and his pet “scientists” quickly began referring to “climate change” and eventually to “global climate disruption.” It didn’t matter to them if things were heating up or cooling down; all that really mattered was that they had a cause and could use it as a way to butt their way into everybody’s business.

Now we have those lousy light bulbs to contend with. Not only do they not provide decent illumination, the ugly little things contain mercury! I would have thought that these idiots who spend half their lives separating paper and plastic in their trash barrels would have had second thoughts about foisting on us a product that enclosed mercury inside a piece of fragile glass. But these morons are shameless. What’s next? Baby blankets made of asbestos?

Most liberals are zealots. That’s why the idiots glommed onto a slogan that was as insipid and unspecific as “Hope and Change.” Even “A Chicken in Every Pot” told you what you might expect if you voted for Herbert Hoover. But one needn’t be too specific with zealots. As Obama understood, you merely have to toss out a line and the annoying lunkheads, all of whom hope to change something, will fill in the blanks.

The worst thing about zealots is that they’re all terribly anxious to make the world a better place, but they never think to start with themselves.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky>

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