Thursday, November 10, 2011

LIFE UNDER OBAMA

by BurtPrelutsky

When liberals insist that the reason Obama is faring so badly in the polls is because most of us are racists, does it never occur to them that they’re like the boy who cried “Wolf!”?

Let us say that, unlike Michael Bloomberg, Henry Waxman and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, you’re not a career politician, but merely a run-of-the-mill Democrat. Wouldn’t it ever occur to you to wonder why it is that if we’re all racists, how it is that Obama won the election three years ago? And how is it that a guy who’s much blacker than Obama, Herman Cain, is doing so well with conservatives? And how is it that the likes of Thomas Sowell, Shelby Steele, Walter Williams, Ward Connerly, Condoleezza Rice, Clarence Thomas and Allen West, are universally liked and admired by Republicans?

Why aren’t white liberals repulsed when such corrupt public figures as Maxine Waters, Charles Rangel, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, take it upon themselves to determine who is “authentically black”? Inasmuch as liberals constantly repeat Martin Luther King’s admonition that people be judged on the basis of their character and not their pigmentation, how is it that in their circles decent character is inevitably trumped by party affiliation?

When I think of liberals, both in and out of public office, I’m reminded that Groucho Marx once cracked, “These are my principles and if you don’t like them, I have others.”

One of the amazing things about those on the Left is that they switch words around so often that it’s hard to keep track of what they’re blathering about. People got so upset with ACORN once they discovered that the group was quite happy to help fund a brothel that was going to be populated by underage Guatemalan girls that they insisted that their tax dollars no longer be allocated for their loathsome activities. No problem. ACORN simply changed its name.

When the scandal at East Anglia revolving around scientists destroying evidence that suggested that “global warming” was a hoax came out, Al Gore and his enablers, reluctant to allow their favorite cash cow to be slaughtered, simply started referring to “climate change”.

When American taxpayers finally had enough of Obama and his crew trying to raise taxes during a recession, a move that Senator Obama had insisted was goofy, and a move that helped prolong the Great Depression when FDR did that very thing twice during the 1930s, the liberals simply started referring to taxes as fees and revenues. For an example of the way that taxes are raised without our having to sit down in April and write a check to the IRS, consider that $61 of a $400 roundtrip ticket on an airline goes straight to the feds. Here in California, when the rest of the country was whining about gasoline going for $3.70-a-gallon, we were paying well over four dollars, all thanks to Jerry Brown and his band of merry fee collectors in Sacramento.

Recently, radio talk show host Dennis Prager pointed out that people are not, as some lunkheads insist, basically good. Even babies, he said, aren’t good; they are merely innocent. If they were good, they would occasionally say to themselves, “Mom and Dad are really tired. Even though I’m hungry and a little thirsty, I’ll let them sleep.” It led me to realize that not only was Prager absolutely right, but that liberals and babies have a great deal in common. Like babies, liberals will holler and whine whenever they want something, fully expecting the government to feed them, clothe them and change their nappies.

Actually, you could say that Obama will likely go down in history as the Family President. After all, none of his predecessors ever did as much to keep the family unit intact. First off, Obama saw to it that people would remain on their parent’s health insurance policies until they reached the rather advanced age of 26. Then, because Obama’s economic policies have destroyed the job market, he saw to it that young college grads had no option but to move back in with their parents. That is why you now see so many morose middle-aged parents breaking out those old “Child on Board” cards and sticking them in the back window of their SUVs.

Finally, if you’ve ever wondered what the Augean Stables were, wonder no longer. It seems that King Augeas owned a herd of 3,000 oxen. For reasons I’m not clear about, he neglected to have the stables cleaned out on a weekly, monthly or even yearly, basis. In fact, by the time he thought about it, 30 years had flown by. So when he told Hercules to take care of it, it wasn’t simply a matter of breaking out a hoe and a hose. Faced with this seemingly impossible task, Hercules did what most of us wouldn’t have even considered. I, myself, would have burned the place down. He, on the other hand, simply diverted the Alpheus River to run through the stables and wash away several tons of accumulated oxen poop.

Reading about it got me to thinking that after January 20, 2013, someone should bring Hercules out of retirement so he can divert the Potomac and tidy up the White House.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!
Get your personally autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success for just $19.95, shipping included.   Get both for just $39.90. Liberals: America’s Termites Profiles of Success (60 candid conversations with 60 Over-Achievers)