Monday, November 28, 2011


by BurtPrelutsky

When it comes to the Theory of Evolution, the religiously devout often find themselves locked in futile battle with those who lack religious faith. Those on one side are convinced that the earth is a mere 6,000 years old, and that God woke up one day and suddenly decided to create the earth, the stars, the giraffe, the camel and his crowning glory, Adam. Then, lest Adam get too big for his britches, He created Eve.

Those on the other side of the argument think that is simply the goofiest story they ever heard. They insist it ignores tons of scientific evidence, including fossils, carbon dating and common sense. The faithful counter by saying that, for its part, science conveniently fails to explain how and why evolution would have ever begun. They insist that the universe can only be explained as the result of Intelligent Design.

Because I tend to be a skeptic where both science and religion are concerned, my own belief is more in line with Mark Twain, who surmised that God was so disappointed with man, He tried to improve on His invention by creating the monkey.

However, try as they might, neither side can fully explain the existence of left-wingers. For my part, I can far easier grasp the appeal of turnips and grits than I can the stranglehold that Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Castro, Chavez and Obama, have on leftists. I mean, how is it that anyone can look at the results of communism and socialism and not see them for the nightmares they are and always have been? After all, the evidence is in plain sight.

For all its claims to idealism, communism has invariably resulted in blood-thirsty regimes, whether in the Soviet Union, China, Cambodia, Cuba or East Germany. For the glories of socialism, you need only look to the riots now taking place in Greece. Tourists who have for years been attracted by the ruins of ancient Athens will now have even more reason to visit, although they will have to watch out for Molotov cocktails and tear gas.

Even here in America, which has generally been heading in the wrong direction ever since FDR adopted Norman Thomas’s socialist platform as his own, we have seen the pathetic results in our own streets. We see young dunderheads demonstrating for the end of capitalism, the destruction of corporations, and the forgiving of student loans, while simultaneously demanding high-paying jobs, free health insurance and the latest products devised by the brain of corporate billionaire Steve Jobs.

The fact that they’re too stupid to even notice the inconsistency inherent in their loony agenda tells me all I really need to know about the state of education in this country. These lunkheads represent the predictable results of allowing school teachers to belong to left-wing unions and permitting tenured professors to become propagandists rather than practitioners of the Socratic Method.

Still, it’s the often well-meaning parents, a great many of whom are conservatives, who have played a major role in creating this miserable state of affairs. After all, if you’re going to sit back and allow your sons and daughters to be indoctrinated from kindergarten on, and, for good measure, continue donating to colleges and universities that encourage this sort of thing, it’s hardly surprising that you’re going to wind up with regiments of liberal zombies who have been carefully taught to regard you as their natural enemy. In fact, when I see the allegiance that young Americans pay to Chairman Obama, I am more convinced than ever that stupidity is a hereditary condition.

When I was a youngster, parents were apt to warn their kids about the dangers inherent in associating with rotten companions by saying that if you lie down with dogs, you were likely to get up with fleas. When I look at the mobs demonstrating on Wall Street, I can see where that has become, not merely a figurative truth, but a literal one.

I almost feel sorry for the members of these mobs. That’s because they are obviously the nerdy boys and girls who never got to sit at the table with the A-crowd in high school. But my compassion only stretches so far, and by this time they should have gotten over the heartache of being genetically uncool.

The one good thing about them turning the streets of our major cities into outdoor toilets and urinals is that so many high-profile Democrats have adopted them as symbols of America’s oppressed. Obama feels their pain. Pelosi loves their spontaneity. Biden shares their grievances. Naturally, the mass media praises their courage and dedication.

Even I am willing to say something nice about these ignorant, lazy, unwashed, pot-smoking, self-righteous, slobs. But that’s only if the Democrats turn their presidential convention into a love fest dedicated to Occupy Wall Street, so that all of America can see the unbelievable depths to which the party of Harry Truman and John F. Kennedy has sunk.

I promise that if the Occupiers do even half as much for Barack Obama in 2012 as Abby Hoffman and his gang of misbegotten Yuppies did for Hubert Humphrey in 1968, I’ll invite all of them over to my house for a shower.
©2011 Burt Prelutsky.Comments? Write!
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