Thursday, January 5, 2012

DINGBATS IN THE NEWS

by BurtPrelutsky

After dismissing the importance of the Bilderberg Group, the Tri-Lateral Commission and the Council on Foreign Relations, in a recent article, I knew I would hear from those people who check under their beds every night to make certain that Henry Kissinger isn’t lurking under the box springs. I only wish I could predict Kentucky Derby winners with equal success.

The angriest of the conspiracy nuts insisted that I was intentionally ignoring solid evidence of the threat these people posed, suggesting that I just might be a closet Bilderberger. In response, I wrote to tell him that, like Groucho Marx, I refuse to join any group whose standards were so low that they’d accept me as a member. Besides, I try to never come between a man and his paranoia. But does anyone in his right mind seriously believe we are any closer to a one-world government today than we were a hundred years ago? Heck, we’re not even close to a one-nation America these days. One might as well contend that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, are planning a coup d’├ętat.

Something else I keep hearing, at least from Ron Paul’s groupies, is that America should not be the policeman of the world. Oh, really? Perhaps we should leave it to the likes of France. Or maybe the Netherlands? Costa Rica? Or would we all be better off if we just let China, Russia and the Islamic nutcakes, fight it out for global supremacy? And when the dust settles, I suppose we can just line up on our knees to kiss the heinie of the winner.

It is such an infantile suggestion that it explains why Dr. Paul draws most of his followers from high schools and colleges. You know, the same bunch of youthful ninnies who applaud Obama for keeping them on their parents’ health insurance policies until they’re middle-aged, who turned our streets into latrines as members of the Occupy Wall Street movement and who think George Washington and Samuel Adams are the wide receivers on the Oakland Raiders.

Speaking of Ron Paul, I had been aware of the fact that no important piece of legislation carried his name, even though he’s parked his backside in the House for the past 23 years. But until I heard it on Fox, I was unaware that during that time, he had proposed 620 pieces of legislation and only had one bill passed. And that one dealt with the sale of a Galveston landmark to a Texas historical society. Just think about it. The man has been in Congress for nearly a quarter of a century, collecting roughly $3.5 million in salary, and all he has accomplished is to facilitate the sale of a building he, himself, didn’t own. I’d say that he’s the Republican answer to Dennis Kucinich, except that Kucinich doesn’t keep embarrassing the Democrats by running for president.

Still, I hasten to add that where presidential elections are concerned, it’s rarely, if ever, a contest between a great candidate and a terrible one. But, quite often, it’s a choice between someone who is just mediocre and a Democrat, who really is terrible. Having said that, anyone who fails to acknowledge the huge difference between the two is either a mere dunce or completely deranged.

When I first heard that Nancy Pelosi spent her Christmas vacation in a Hawaiian resort that ran her $10,000-a-night, I was flabbergasted. But, then, I reminded myself that the woman is worth nearly $40 million. Besides, it’s her own dough she was spending. That’s quite different from the Obamas spending over $4 million of our tax dollars to catch the rays 7,000 miles from the White House.

I suppose if you’re a liberal jackass, you don’t see that as an example of gross insensitivity during an economic crisis, but merely as the spirit-lifting equivalent of Churchill’s flashing the V-sign while touring London’s bombed-out buildings during the worst of the Nazi blitz.

But, on the other hand, imagine how they would have reacted if it had been George and Laura enjoying those expensive sunsets, and not Barack and Michelle.

For my part, I can hardly wait for November 6 to roll around, so I can bid them one final heartfelt aloha.


©2012 Burt Prelutsky.Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!
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