Monday, August 20, 2012

ASSORTED FRUITS & NUTS

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by Burt Prelutsky

Because I live in California, I tend to think we have a monopoly when it comes to leftists and other demented souls. But the truth is, they’re scattered hither and yon.

For instance, when Obama was speaking at a fundraiser in Portland, Oregon, he gave a shout-out to Terence Bean. And well he should have, because not only had Mr. Bean hosted the event, but he had raised about $100,000 for Obama’s campaign in 2008. If you’re unfamiliar with his name, it’s probably because he’s a homosexual who’s made millions of dollars producing gay porn movies.

“There’s a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs – partly because they want sympathy, and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances because they do not want to lose their jobs….There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don’t want the patient to get well because as long as the disease holds out, they have not only an easy means of making a living, but also an easy medium through which to make themselves prominent before the public.”

Now if I had written those lines, I would naturally be accused of bigotry because of the use of “colored people” and “Negro race,” but nobody would doubt that I was referring to the likes of Jesse Jackson, Sheila Jackson Lee, Al Sharpton and Maxine Waters. But the fact is, those prescient words were written by none other than Booker T. Washington, 101 years ago in his book, “My Larger Education.”

The reason why, in spite of a disastrous economy, national security leaks, a scandal-riddled Justice Department and a weakened military, that Obama is running neck-and-neck with Mitt Romney is because he has taken a page out of the FDR playbook. Back in the 1930s, Roosevelt declared war on business and raised taxes, thus seducing union members; he started federal work projects that called for painters and writers, thus luring artists to the dark side; he wooed blacks and poor whites by expanding welfare; and in doing so, he rolled out the red carpet for a great many Jews, who had earlier found a home in the socialist and communist parties.

In similar fashion, Obama is now counting on dividing Americans by race, class, gender and generation, in the hope it will get him re-elected. If it works, I’m afraid it will mean that he was right in 2009, when he insisted that America is no more exceptional than any other country.

One of those countries, in fact the first one he visited after being elected in 2008, was Egypt, that paragon of nations where an imam recently ruled that Egyptian husbands, who may have had to put up with a lot of “I have a headache” type excuses while their wives were alive and kicking, will soon have the right to have sex with their wives for up to six hours after they’ve died!

Just because I find a lot to like about Mitt Romney doesn’t mean that everyone else does. I mean, just because he’s good-looking, well-spoken, trustworthy, intelligent, doesn’t drink or smoke, has stood faithfully by his wife of 43 years through her bouts with cancer and MS, has helped to raise five decent sons, and has honestly earned and invested millions of dollars, I can see where people might prefer a community organizer with a lifetime of shady friends and associates who has kept his personal history concealed in a manner we all wish he had applied to national security documents.

I have to assume that those who parrot the nonsense about Romney being “stiff” are employing that word as a synonym for a man who is honest, patriotic and businesslike, which just happen to be three of the qualities I most prize when it comes to electing a commander-in-chief. If you’re looking for stiffs, I suggest you look no further than the millions of Americans who show up as “Undecided” in the polls because they pay no attention to political campaigns until Election Day rolls around, when at long last they make a decision by flipping a coin.

Finally, I’m wondering if I’m the only person who keeps picturing the following scene being played out on the second floor of the White House: Malia proudly brings her completed science project in to show her parents, and Michelle, after quickly hiding the cookies she’s been noshing on, predictably oohs and ahs in maternal appreciation.

However, when a beaming Malia turns to show it to her father, he frowns and angrily shakes his head. “I’m ashamed of you,” he says. “You know you didn’t build that!”

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