Saturday, August 25, 2012

MAKING USE OF LEMONS

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by Burt Prelutsky

Some people ask me why I don’t seem to take the harm Obama and his cronies are doing to America more seriously. The fact is I take it very seriously. But what good does crying about it do anyone? I prefer to combat Leftists with facts and ridicule. Always have, always will. So long as this bunch of left-wing, Constitution-trashing, anti-American thugs keep providing me with lemons, I fully intend to keep squirting them in the eye with lemonade.

For instance, left-wing women claim that they’re entitled to have abortions on demand and that the government shouldn’t be sticking its nose into what they do with or to their own bodies, but they then turn around and insist that the government use our tax dollars to provide them with birth control pills.

Naturally, Obama, who is depending on women to get him re-elected, feeds the outrage by pretending that if Romney is president birth control pills won’t be readily available in every drug store in America. It’s bad enough that where it really counts, in the work place, women have suffered even worse than men under the Obama economy. But when women actually fall for this line of bull hockey, they come across like a bunch of giddy school girls squealing over Justin Bieber.

If you want everyone to stay out of your bedroom, ladies, set a good example by climbing out of our wallets.

For years, although homosexuals have insisted that they should be allowed to get hitched because the government has no right to prevent consenting adults from getting married, I have yet to hear any of them say, “For the sake of consistency, polygamy and incestuous marriages should also be recognized by the state.”

If a lawyer handed out money to jurors, he’d be arrested for jury tampering. If a politician stood outside a polling place, handing out ten dollar bills, he would be arrested for attempting to buy votes. But when 107 million Americans are receiving some form of welfare; when the number of people on Medicaid soars from 34 million to 54 million in a decade; and when the number of Americans receiving food stamps reaches nearly 50 million, nobody, you may have noticed, gets arrested for bribing voters. And if anyone dares point out that 57% of Mexican immigrants -- most of them here illegally -- are receiving welfare, they’re labeled racists by craven politicians and a lap dog media.

Speaking of welfare, now that Obama has done his best to gut the welfare reform bill, which was Bill Clinton’s signature piece of legislation, I think Clinton should use his time at the Democratic convention to tell us what he really thinks about ObamaCare.

And at the same event, Nobel Peace Prize recipient Jimmy Carter can use his moment in the spotlight to tell us what he really thinks about Israel in particular, and Jews in general.

I find it fascinating that, according to recent polls, Americans are equally divided as to whether Romney or Obama would be better able to save the economy. To me, that’s like asking who is more likely to rescue a drowning man, a lifeguard or the schmuck who’s holding the poor guy’s head under water.

Every economist who isn’t on Obama’s payroll has agreed that Obama’s war on the oil and coal industries, culminating in his putting the kibosh on the Keystone pipeline, has put tens of thousands of people out of work. Furthermore, if Obama succeeds in raising taxes on the 1% he is constantly vilifying, the immediate impact will be to kill over 700,000 jobs.

When I think about all those millionaires and billionaires who keep showing up for Obama’s $35,000-a-plate fund-raising events, I wonder what’s going through their heads when he rails non-stop against the rich. Is it understood that he’s only talking trash about wealthy people who don’t happen to be liberals?

Let me say that I can understand how someone can be a Democrat. After all, a lot of people simply accept the party affiliation they were born into, just as most of us accept our parents’ religion as our own. What I don’t understand is how liberals can stomach the recent TV commercial in which Joe Soptic,, a retired steelworker, lays the death of his wife at the feet of Mitt Romney. Are liberals so totally devoid of morality that they don’t object to being allied with a political party, long known for registering dead people to vote, stooping to desecrating a woman’s grave to help win an election?

In case you missed the back story, Mitt Romney left Bain Capital in 1999. Mr. Soptic was actually offered a buy-out by Bain before they were finally forced to close down the steel plant where he was employed. That was in 2001. What’s more, even after he was out of work, Mrs. Soptic still had a job and still had health insurance. In fact, it wasn’t until 2006, seven long years after Romney was entirely out of the picture, that she was diagnosed with cancer, dying shortly thereafter.

But that didn’t prevent Obama’s people from trying to make it appear that Romney was the only reason that creepy Mr. Soptic is a widower today.

Clearly, Joe the Steelworker is no Joe the Plumber.

I can understand that Democrats might not be able to bring themselves to break life-long habits and bring themselves to vote for an honest, decent, responsible presidential candidate like Mitt Romney. Fortunately, I have good news for left-wing boneheads who have had their fill of the corrupt, hypocritical, lying sack of garbage who currently resides in the Oval Office.

They can simply register Peace and Freedom and vote for Roseanne Barr and her running mate, Cindy Sheehan, and hardly notice the difference!

Now that you’ve completed this article, Burt hopes you’ll enjoy Bye, Bye Birdbrain, he’s written in response to current events. - ed.

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