Tuesday, September 4, 2012

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

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by Burt Prelutsky

I find the proposed speakers lined up by the Democrats to address their convention bizarre, to say the least. I mean, do they really think any sane person regards Jimmy Carter as the grand old man of their party. He’s the guy who pulled the rug out from under the Shah of Iran, which swung open the door for the Ayatollah Khomeini and unleashed Islamic terrorism on the entire world.

He is also the fellow who was invited to dive into the deep pockets of his Arab friends in exchange for using his bully pulpit as an ex-president to condemn Israel in books and speeches for the past three decades.

As if Carter isn’t enough to besmirch any event at which he appears, even in a video, the Democrats have lined up a slew of women to confirm that the GOP has declared war on their gender. Frankly, I can’t even imagine how ignorant a woman has to be in order to convince herself that husbands and fathers as loyal and dedicated to their families as Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are looking to victimize women.

What’s particularly weird about the lineup is that at least two of the featured speakers are lesbians. Understand, I’m not using that word as a pejorative. But for the longest time, we’ve heard liberal women say that where birth control and abortion are concerned, men have no right to voice an opinion. If they believe that, what right do lesbians have? Birth control and abortion are certainly two issues that have even less to do with them than with men.

What further astounds me is that these women have all rallied around Obama, the man who while serving in the Illinois legislature three times cast votes in favor of partial-birth abortion.

A partial-birth abortion, by the way, is a euphemism for an atrocity. It means that when a baby survives his or her attempted murder, the abortionist, instead of saving its life, kills it outside the womb.

The question that comes to mind is: what sort of people come up with such a benign-sounding term for infanticide? The answer: the same sort of creeps who came up with “Pro-Choice” to define abortion on demand.

I know that according to the left-wing lexicon, only conservatives can possibly be extremists when it comes to abortions, in much the same way that, according to Eric Holder and his boss, only white people can ever be racists. But what sort of woman could possibly condone the murder of a living, breathing baby? To me, those saber-toothed, snake-eyed, drooling, creatures we fortunately only come across in sci-fi movies and Bill Maher’s studio audience aren’t nearly as monstrous as these women.

The way this election is shaping up, I find it harder and harder to believe there are still millions of people who prefer Obama and Biden to Romney and Ryan. Even though I understand that Obama has seen to it that a great many Americans are receiving bribes from his goody bag, whether it’s his version of the Dream Act in order to woo Latinos; food stamps to woo the easily seduced; and free insurance for 20-something knuckleheads; there’s no getting around record unemployment and a national debt that will soon turn us into Greece.

Although I confess I was hoping that Marco Rubio would wind up as Romney’s running mate, my own mate favored Ryan from Day One. And as much as it hurts me to admit it, she was right. Ryan, however, lest anyone think my wife has all the political savvy in the family, was my clear second choice. Frankly, I couldn’t believe it when I heard people talking up Tim Pawlenty, Condoleezza Rice and Rob Portman. They’re all decent enough people, but they would have done nothing to strengthen the ticket.

Ryan, on the other hand, possesses a lot of the same virtues as Rubio. He’s young and amiable without seeming immature. He’s smart. For the women, who seem to put a great deal of store in this sort of thing, he’s attractive and looks a lot better than Obama with his shirt off. Moreover, he’s a hunter and by the time the vice-presidential debate is over with, Biden is going to look like a deer in someone’s headlights; and not just any deer, but a very stupid one. They’ll be able to drive him home from the event draped over a fender.

As a team, the one that Romney and Ryan most remind me of is Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. When RKO came up with the brainstorm to feature those two in a batch of hit musicals, it was said that Astaire gave Rogers class and that Rogers provided Astaire with sex appeal.

Fortunately, Ryan, unlike Rogers, doesn’t have to do everything his partner does and, moreover, do it backwards and in high heels.

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      Burt Prelutsky
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