Friday, September 28, 2012

THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

Burt hopes you’ll enjoy this bonus article, and when you’ve finished, he hopes you’ll also enjoy Forward to Yesterday

by Burt Prelutsky

Let’s face it, there is definitely something very spooky about liberals. They’re a lot like those creatures in horror movies, the undead, who are always lurking around looking to turn normal people into vampires or zombies. They’re often looking for human brains, which, God knows they could certainly use, but it’s not for themselves, but to install in the heads of monsters they’ve cobbled together in their basements.

In the movies at least, people can generally avoid running into them so long as they stay out of haunted houses, cemeteries and dark cellars. In real life, it’s much more difficult because they’re everywhere. Turn on your TV and there’s Steny Hoyer, Joe Biden or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, saying something so stupid, it’s frightening. And if you happened to find yourself in a cemetery at night and bumped into Harry Reid, wouldn’t you assume that he was there to oversee your burial?

Scariest of all is Barack Obama because he’s the one with the power to create the most mischief. But what I don’t get is why people are making such a big thing of a 1998 video in which he announced that he was in favor of the redistribution of wealth. Why go back 14 years? He said the same thing during the current century, in 2008 to be exact, to Joe the Plumber. He also famously said at about the same time that the major failing of the Constitution and the Civil Rights Movement is that neither dealt with the redistribution of wealth.

This is the same palooka who said that his energy policy would send prices soaring, and whose energy czar said he wished gas prices would go to $10-a-gallon in order to hasten the day when green energy would be our only option.

It just seems to me that going back 14 years in order to nail this putz with his own words is sort of like the other side trying to portray Romney as Al Capone because he bullied some kid in high school. I mean, Obama has not only done his level best to destroy the coal and oil industries in America, thus helping to double gas prices at the pump over the past four years, but his economic policies have drained thousands of dollars from the net worth of the average American, kept the unemployment rate at record highs, and, for good measure, is one of the few people who has ever voted in favor of partial-birth abortions. Talk about your ghouls. This schmuck even gives the Mummy the willies.

Even in the area of foreign policy, Obama can’t help showing off his incompetence. First, he kicked things off by going to Cairo in 2009, apologizing for American exceptionalism, and kissing the behinds of the assembled Arabs and Muslims. Then, when in spite of four years of bowing and scraping, those same people showed their contempt for him by storming our embassy in Libya and murdering four Americans, including our ambassador, he denied it was an act of terrorism. He even made his ambassador to the U.N., Susan Rice, go on every TV show except Dancing With the Stars, to announce that it was a spontaneous uprising brought about by a video that was seen by fewer people than Catwoman.

For eight days, poor Jay Carney had to tell the White House press corps that there was no possible way to tell that the attack had been planned and carried out by Muslim terrorists. And then, on the ninth day, voila, there was the Press Secretary not only admitting that it was a terrorist attack, but that it was, of all things, “self-evident”!

Even I sympathized with the boyish-looking Carney. He was probably hired in the first place when Robert Gibbs stepped down because, unlike Gibbs, he looked like he could be trusted near a playground filled with kids. However, he has lost his innocence over the past couple of years. Dealing with the Libyan kerfuffle, he had to spin so hard and so fast for Obama that he finally screwed himself into the floor until all that could be seen of him was the top of his head and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

While Obama continues to take bows for giving the order to kill Osama bin Laden, someone should constantly remind him that anyone, including Romney, I and my aunt Sophie, would have given the same order. What none of us would have done, however, was to display such weakness and to send such mixed messages to our enemies in North Africa and the Middle East that a bunch of third world thugs would have reason to believe they could burn down our embassy and slaughter Americans with impunity.

For all his various failings, when Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/01, George Bush went to war. When Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/12, Barack Obama said they weren’t really attacking us and they weren’t even terrorists; they were actually just a bunch of film critics who disliked a certain movie and, instead of giving it a really bad review, decided to go on a killing spree.

I guess we can only hope that these folks never get wind of Mommie Dearest, Heaven’s Gate or Freddy Got Fingered, or it could be the end of life on earth as we’ve known it.

Burt hopes you’ve enjoyed this bonus article, and now that you’ve finished, he hopes you’ll also enjoy Forward to Yesterday.


BurtPrelutsky.com
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FORWARD TO YESTERDAY

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

Burt hopes you’ll enjoy this article, and once you’ve finished, he hopes you’ll also enjoy this bonus article The Zombies Are Coming!.

by Burt Prelutsky

I find it fascinating and amusing that Obama said that the GOP convention was like a re-run and should have been viewed on a black-and-white TV with rabbit ears. If I were Obama, I’m not sure if I would ever bring any sort of ears into a conversation. But that being said, if anyone is looking backwards, it’s the putz who wants to claim Clinton’s economy for his own.

But who can blame him? At this point, he’s probably ready to claim Greece’s economy for his own.

Before moving on, it should be mentioned that the booming economy of the 90s came about in spite of Bill Clinton, not because of him. The 90s boom owed more to Newt Gingrich and the Republican Congress that delivered tax cuts and welfare reform after the ’94 elections. Prior to that, Clinton was just as big a loon as Obama as he tried to push the unfunded HillaryCare bill on America 16 years before Obama saddled us with his own even bigger and more vile version.

The difference is that Clinton was bright enough to go along with the Republicans and, thus, get re-elected in 1996. Obama, being less of a practical politician and more of a left-wing nutjob, has continued to press for an enlarged federal government, leading to a $16 trillion national debt and an annual trillion dollar deficit and, ironically, has done his best to gut Clinton’s signature legislation, welfare reform.

David Axelrod, who could be a dead ringer for Hitler if he only trimmed his mustache, accuses the GOP of being backward-looking. But the one thing that Republicans and Democrats can agree on is that we all wish the clock could be turned back. Liberals want to turn it back to the 90s, while conservatives would like to turn it all the way back to the Reagan era of the 80s.

In reminiscing about Ronald Reagan, Peggy Noonan said, “You can’t buy courage and decency, and you can’t rent a moral sense.” It’s as obvious as the ears on Obama that Reagan was a man of character. It’s why he could actually work with House Minority leader Tip O’Neill (D) to get things done for the good of the country. All that Obama does is sulk and call John Boehner (R) and duly-elected Republicans in the House obstructionists or worse.

As Noonan has said, a lot of people disagreed with Reagan’s politics, but she has never met anyone who didn’t genuinely like and respect the man. Is there anyone who believes that the same could ever be said about Barack Obama, an arrogant narcissist, who revels in the adoration of college students, Muslims, welfare recipients and the reflection in his own mirror?

Speaking of welfare recipients, Chris Matthews, who has devoted so much time to defending Obama that he could moonlight for the Secret Service, recently said, “We passed the civil rights bill, and still the country is basically white here and black there. There’s ‘hoods, there’s ghettos, and there’s whites living in the ‘burbs. It hasn’t changed a lick.”

Actually it has. Just not for people like Matthews, Holder, Sharpton, Farrakhan, Jackson and Obama, who would be out of business if being race card-playing con men didn’t pay so darn well.

But it’s not just Matthews, who should bear a scarlet H on his forehead, denoting hypocrisy. Apparently in 2008, while trying to get Ted Kennedy’s endorsement for Hillary, Bill Clinton, in referring to Obama, said, “A few years ago, this guy would have been carrying our bags.” How ironic that a scant four years later, it’s Clinton who’s shlepping water for Obama.

According to Matthews, when Republicans use such terms as “welfare,” “birth certificate,” “food stamps,” “European socialism,” “Chicago” and “work requirements,” it’s actually code for black people. At least Matthews didn’t disclose our secret handshake or the password to enter our tree house.

What is truly remarkable is that liberals never feel the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment to say such stupid things when their own houses are constructed of the most fragile sort of glass. For instance, according to a recent article at WorldNetDaily, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews live in the lily white suburb of Chevy Chase, Maryland. At last report, Chevy Chase has a black population of roughly five percent. Also, he and the missus have never contributed money to the campaign of a black political candidate, except for Mr. Obama.

Matthews, who came to fame when he channeled his inner teenage girl and confessed that listening to an Obama speech sent a tingle up his leg, reminds me of the guy who took a Rorschach test and claimed to see a naked woman in every single ink blot. When the doctor concluded that in his professional opinion, the subject was suffering from a sexual fixation and clearly required therapy, the patient protested, saying, “Hey, I’m not the one with all the dirty pictures!”

Finally, we come to Antonio Villaraigosa, soon to be the unlamented ex-mayor of Los Angeles. In evaluating the GOP convention and its large contingent of Hispanic speakers, he announced, “You can’t just trot out a brown face or a Spanish surname and expect that people are going to vote for your party.”

That is a message he should have delivered to the Democrats when they decided to make him the chairman of their convention for no other reason than this second-rater happens to have a brown face and a Spanish surname. This is a guy who became a union organizer and then a politician only after failing to pass the bar exam four different times. Sometimes it seems as if politics only exists in order to provide a fallback position for really dumb people.

The Republicans featured Hispanic speakers because decent and remarkable conservatives such as Susana Martinez, Mel Martinez, Luis Fortuno, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, actually hold major political offices.

The Democrats, on the other hand, were so desperate to have an Hispanic presence that they stuck Villaraigosa front and center in spite of the fact that an ethics investigation found him guilty of accepting -- and not paying taxes on -- free tickets worth tens of thousands of dollars to the Academy Awards, various rock concerts and courtside seats at Laker games.

In addition, there’s the $68,000-a-year in tax dollars that go to his daughter for answering his phone. And lest you think that greed and nepotism alone define our city’s mayor, there’s the fact that over the years, he has had any number of tawdry affairs, one that ended with the birth of a child, another that involved the wife of a friend, and still another with a TV reporter that brought an end to his 20-year marriage.

Is it any wonder that with a track record like that, Antonio Villaraigosa stands a very good chance of being the Democratic standard bearer in the 2016 presidential election?

Burt hopes you’ve enjoyed this article, and now that you’ve finished, he hopes you’ll enjoy this bonus article: The Zombies Are Coming!.

BurtPrelutsky.com
©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Write to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

BACK OFF, KRISTOL!

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
      16604 Dearborn Street
      North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

I keep hearing a lot of moaning at the bar from the right wing; most notably from Bill Kristol of the Weekly Standard. It seems like every time I see this guy, whom I refer to as “The Wincer” because he always looks like he thinks he’s about to be slugged, he’s going off on Mitt Romney. No matter what Romney says or does, Kristol and a few of his fellow ivory tower pinheads can’t wait to dissect it, as if they’re performing the world’s longest autopsy.

I’ll admit that Romney doesn’t always say things in the best way possible, and that his attempts at humor often bring the term “lead balloon” to mind. But he’s entitled to goof occasionally. Heck, he’s been on the campaign trail for what must seem like an eternity to him, and a bit longer than that to me. But the bone I’d pick with Kristol is that until the debates, Romney isn’t going to have a chance to go toe-to-toe with Obama. Every single thing Obama says will be filtered through the media until it shines like gold. Everything out of Romney’s mouth is going to be slathered with mud. That’s no excuse for conservatives to pile on, as though jockeying for an invitation to MSNBC’s Christmas bash.

I keep hearing that Obama will win the debates. The same people who believe that must also assume that Joe Biden will put Paul Ryan in his place. I will simply remind one and all that after Romney got the hang of debates, he even began getting the best of Newt Gingrich. And anyone who believes that Obama is smarter, sharper or funnier, than Gingrich needs to have his head examined. Preferably, I’d suggest, with a baseball bat.

I have no idea why Kristol has been so hard on Romney. Perhaps he felt that Mitt should have been calling on him for advice, sort of like those guys in the cartoons who are always showing up on mountain tops to ask the shaman for the secret of the universe, only to be told it’s strawberry ice cream.

But, heck, I wanted to be a speechwriter for Romney and I managed to swallow my disappointment when the call didn’t come. Kristol should do the same and quit grumbling, or I’m going to give him something to wince about.

One of the things that caused Romney a lot of grief was when he said that 47% of Americans act like victims and expect the federal government to give them free stuff. Okay, he may have had the percentage off because apparently he mistakenly included some retired folks who don’t pay any income tax because they’re retired and aren’t earning a taxable income.

But people are always getting numbers screwed up. Hey, when David Letterman asked Obama what the national debt was when he entered office, he admitted he had no idea. He probably also has no idea that the figure has grown during his administration from $10.6 trillion to $16.1 trillion, and he probably doesn’t care, and that’s a lot worse than anything that Romney has ever said.

At least Romney recognized that entitlements are like a massive asteroid streaking towards America, and too many people, including the putz in the Oval Office, are acting as if we can all simply duck at the last second and it will fly on by.

There’s no getting around the sad fact that Obama is popular with a certain group, mainly consisting of greedy idiots. They adore him for pretty much the same reason that certain outlaws have captured the public’s fancy over the years. What people like Jesse James, John Dillinger, Willie Sutton, along with Bonnie and Clyde, had in common was that they all robbed banks. Everyone, including ministers and priests, has probably fantasized knocking over a bank. After all, there’s all that money just sitting there and there’s so much good that could be done with it. One could build a hospital or feed the poor or, if one didn’t happen to be a member of the clergy, a person could buy one of those humongous TV sets that bring the baseball game right into your living room. But I digress.

In order to achieve iconic status with the masses, though, what you need to do is not only steal all that money that doesn’t belong to you, but take a moment to burn a few mortgages. A lot of folks were quite happy to shield these thieves from the law, apparently in the hope that theirs would be the next mortgages to go up in flames.

It sure sounds to me like Obama could have happily driven the back roads of Texas and Louisiana with Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. After all, there’s nothing he enjoys more than taking other people’s hard-earned money and passing some of it around to people who didn’t work for it and who don’t deserve it. Instead of doing it as a way to guarantee he’ll always have a hideout available, though, he does it in order to buy votes, in the hope that his own mortgage will be extended an additional four years.

The good news is that Jesse, John, Willie, Clyde and Bonnie, all came to a bad end, so one can always hope.

BurtPrelutsky.com

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Write to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Liberals: America’s Termites
For more information, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

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Monday, September 24, 2012

THE LESSON OBAMA WAS SENT TO TEACH US

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

The way that people carried on in 2008, you would have thought we had elected a messiah and not merely a president. Some people who felt that way can be excused because that’s the way Obama was sold to us. After all, he vowed to lower the oceans, heal the planet and unite all Americans, whatever their class, race, gender or nation of origin.

That’s pretty big talk for someone whose singular accomplishment as a member of the Illinois legislature was to vote in favor of partial-birth abortions, and whose most noteworthy achievement during his two years in Washington was to be named the most liberal member of the Senate, beating out the unholy likes of Ted Kennedy, Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton and Harry Reid.

Okay, call me a skeptic. However, whenever anyone on TV makes huge, unrealistic promises, my immediate reaction is to withdraw into my shell of cynicism. And I’m merely referring to the sort of slicksters who claim that if I invest $5,000 in gold, I’ll be able to buy and sell Warren Buffet by the end of the month. When a mere politician guarantees that he’s going to lower the oceans my response is to demand he tell me exactly how and why he’s going to get rid of all that water.

I now believe that there was divine intervention in the 2008 election, but not by the candidate from the political sewers of Chicago, but by God, Himself. Somehow, He sensed that too many Americans had forgotten that elections have consequences. The president doesn’t just get to decide if the Thanksgiving Turkey lives or dies, but whether the American economy lives or dies and, even more to the point, whether American citizens live or die.

By allowing Barack Hussein Obama to be elected president and commander-in-chief, He was reminding us poor deluded mortals that when we choose someone because he looks and sounds like someone born to be the D.J. at a hip-hop club, we’re just asking for trouble.

Now, as if all the things Obama’s done and hasn’t done during his time in the White House aren’t bad enough, he announces that the one thing he has learned is that you -- or, rather, he -- can’t change Washington from the inside. Having said that, I think it’s only fair that we give him every chance to try changing it from the outside. From way outside, be it Chicago, or back in Hawaii, where word has it the Obamas are planning to erect a multi-million dollar home for their retirement. If the rumor is true, those would be the very first shovel-ready jobs for which he could actually claim credit.

Even though the title of my newest book is Barack Obama, You’re Fired! (And Don’t Bother Asking for a Letter of Recommendation), he is merely the worst of the left-wing offenders ruining our lives in Washington. As I make clear in Chapter Two, “Naming Names (Obama’s Cronies, Stooges, Enablers and Fall Guys),” the nation’s capital is fairly bursting at the seams with scoundrels who should be serving sentences, not terms.

A while ago, I wrote to one of them, Senator Dianne Feinstein, complaining about the foot-dragging I perceived taking place when it came to tracking down those who had leaked a slew of national security documents to the New York Times.

After several weeks, I forgot that I had even written to her. Then, one afternoon, I turned on my computer and there was an email from her. To be fair, I will reprint it in its entirety.Dear Mr. Prelutsky: Thank you for your letter about my remarks on the recent leaks of sensitive national security information. I appreciate hearing from you, and I welcome the opportunity to respond.

Let me be clear. I do not believe that President Obama has leaked classified information, and I do not know the source of the leaks. On July 23, 2012, I was asked whether the White House might be responsible for recent national security leaks. I stated that I did not believe the president leaked classified information. I should not have speculated beyond that.

I’m on record as being disturbed by these leaks and I know for a fact the president is extremely troubled by these leaks.

In fact, President Obama’s Administration has moved aggressively to investigate the leaks. Attorney General Eric Holder has appointed U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia, Ronald C. Machen, Jr., and U.S. Attorney for the District of Maryland Rod J. Rosenstein, to head criminal investigations into the leaks. The investigations are under way, and it is moving forward quickly. I hope and expect that they will follow the facts wherever they lead.

Again, thank you for your letter. Please know that I appreciate your taking the time to write. If you have any additional questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact my Washington, D.C. office at(202) 224-3841.

Sincerely yours, Dianne Feinstein, United States Senator.
I wrote back:

Thank you for your response, Senator Feinstein. Frankly, it’s been so long since I wrote, I forgot that I had even brought the matter to your attention. That being said, the investigation is not going ahead quickly. There were only a few people in the room who could have possibly leaked the classified information. You hook those folks up to a lie detector machine and you go from there. Once you find the guilty party, you try him for treason.

As for your contention that the person in question wasn’t Obama, I don’t believe anyone in that room would have risked providing the NY Times with national security data without Obama’s approval. Insisting that he didn’t do it is just plain silly and is, moreover, an insult to my intelligence; the Mafia don doesn’t do his own killing and the president doesn’t pick up the phone and call a Times reporter. In each case, they have it done.

Clearly, this is a case of Party coming before Principle, Party coming before Country.

Again, thanks for finally getting back to me. I know how busy you must be, not getting to the bottom of this scandal.

Sincerely, Burt Prelutsky


BurtPrelutsky.com

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Write to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Get your personally autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25 (ppd.) or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15 (ppd).

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To order by mail, send your check to:

BurtPrelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
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Friday, September 21, 2012

ROMNEY DESERVES A BREAK, OBAMA DOESN’T!

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

It’s not often I get to feel sorry for a multi-millionaire, but my heart goes out to Mitt Romney. Thanks to Team Obama working in cahoots with a corrupt media, he gets slammed no matter what he does. If he generalizes about his plans as president, he gets hit for being vague. But when he comes out with a five-point program, he gets no credit.

When he was asked in London, as someone who had once run an Olympics Game, what he thought about the security set-up for the 2012 event, he gave an honest answer and what turned out to be a factual appraisal. So, naturally, the media accused him of making a major gaffe, instead of praising him for not being a typical sweet-talking phony.

When he went to Israel and said that the difference between the success enjoyed by the Jews and the failure of the Palestinians was the difference between the two cultures, he was accused of insensitivity. But once again his only sin was in telling the truth.

More recently, a video of Romney speaking at a fund raiser went viral. In his remarks, he said that 47% of Americans are dependent on the federal government and, as a result, probably will not vote for him. Now he may have been off by a bit, and he may have inadvertently included retired people on Social Security who are not paying federal income taxes, but his message in the main was absolutely correct. People who believe that the government owes them something for no other reason than that they’re breathing do make up the base of Obama’s support.

That base, which includes inner-city blacks, illegal aliens, public sector union members and college students -- particularly those wasting their time and their parents’ money pursuing degrees in the liberal arts -- all feel themselves entitled to the largesse of the American taxpayer.

I had no doubt that the Democrats would try to make hay off his comments, particularly among the elderly who are living off Social Security. But theirs happen to be the exception to the rule because they paid into the system. All those other government checks, along with food stamps, are referred to as “means-tested.” In other words, people are expected to prove that they need these bribes in order to survive I think it is fairly obvious, even to liberals, that those are the folks Romney was referring to; in the same way, when people refer disparagingly to single mothers, they mean those who never bothered getting married, not widows and divorcees.

Finally, Romney did not, as Obama’s campaign manager insisted, write off Obama’s groupies; he merely identified them.

The difference between Obama and Romney or between Obama and any normal American is that he lies so shamelessly. For instance, at a recent campaign stop, he started a sentence by saying, “When I travel around the country and meet with Republicans…” I want to know exactly where these meetings took place. The only time you see him meeting with anyone is when he’s bloviating to a crowd of worshippers. Hell, this fraud doesn’t even speak to the Republicans in Congress, unless it’s to tell them to sit down, shut up and get out of his way.

Then there’s the matter of his right hand clown, Joe Biden, who keeps getting applause with his favorite line, pointing out that Osama is dead and GM is alive. The problem is that things have only gotten worse in the Middle East and North Africa since the execution of Osama bin Laden, as emotionally satisfying as that may have been. As for GM, after costing the tax payers and the bond holders billions of dollars, the company is barely breathing. But so long as the UAW is happy, that’s all that matters to this administration.

Even Obama must be embarrassed by the obvious failure of his Middle East policy, which consisted of feeding the Muslims a load of bull hockey about their alleged contributions to America and the world. Judging by the firestorm of anti-Americanism that is streaking across the Muslim world, stretching from Egypt to Indonesia, one can easily see that soft words have no effect on them. Perhaps because even they realize how backward and vicious they really are, they assume that anyone who is praising them is only doing so out of cowardice and fear. And for once, they’d be right.

As with a mad dog, you can avoid it by staying indoors. Or you can shoot it on sight. But you are never going to turn it into a house pet with a lot of soft soap.

It’s just about impossible to determine Obama’s biggest blunder because there have been so many, both foreign and domestic. But certainly near the top of the list was his fawning speech in Cairo, in 2009, when he delivered a mea culpa on behalf of the United States while flinging orchids to the assembled Arabs and Muslims.

One should never show weakness to one’s enemies, but, then, we have no reason to think he regards them as his enemies. That, after all, is a rather short list that only seems to include the likes of England, Israel, Poland and the Czech Republic.

Back in the 1960s, Nikita Khrushchev decided that President Kennedy was just the spoiled son of a rich man, more interested in chasing starlets than in waging war, a man not only cursed with a weak back, but lacking a spine, and so he decided to move Russian missiles into Cuba. When Khrushchev woke up to the fact that Kennedy was quite prepared to have our Navy sink the Russian ships, he backed down.

Obama, on the other hand, was so convinced that he was The One, the one who would lower the oceans and heal the planet, that, like every other naive fool who is blinded by his own massive ego, he felt he merely had to wish for something to happen to make it happen.

And why wouldn’t he? Everything else in his life has gone according to plan without his having to work too hard to bring it about. First there was prep school, thanks to his grandparents; then there was college and law school, thanks to affirmative action; then there was Illinois politics, which, thanks to the likes of Bill Ayers, Rahm Emanuel, Valerie Jarrett and Jeremiah Wright, was as easy as donning a pair of bedroom slippers; and, finally, there was the grand prize, the presidency, thanks to the likes of George Soros, David Axelrod and Oprah Winfrey.

If we learned anything from Obama’s speech at Cairo, it’s to remind us that our presidents should never go abroad when they wish to make or announce policy. Before 2009, the last time someone made such a boneheaded blunder, it was FDR at Yalta, in 1945, when he handed Eastern Europe over to the not-so tender mercies of Joe Stalin, sentencing hundreds of millions of people to nearly half a century of Soviet savagery.

I fully understand why this administration would like to blame some silly video for the murders of Ambassador Stevens and his colleagues in Libya, and wish to suggest that the date of 9/11 was merely a coincidence. Anyone who has ever confronted the family pooch after he’s made a mess on the carpet knows there’s a brief moment when Fido glances around to see if perhaps there’s another dog in the house who can be blamed.

But looking back over the past four years, at White House messes big and small, one thing is for sure: Barack Obama can’t lay any of it at the feet of Bo.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

MEDITATIONS

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or  Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

On those occasions when he wasn’t trying to convince people that he had swallowed a dictionary and could break his habit of using arcane multi-syllabic words, William F. Buckley proved he could be both Solomon-like and pithy in his comments about those who infest the Left. One of my favorites was his observation that “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”

Although in no way would I ever defend or endorse the institution of slavery, when you see how blacks, even in the 21st century, live in Africa and the Caribbean, no one can honestly pity the plight of modern-day American blacks. Compared to most of their brethren around the world, even those perennial underachievers who choose to remain uneducated and outside the mainstream of American life, manage to own TV sets, cars, refrigerators and cellphones.

Although I prefer being able to expend my time and energy deflating left-wingers, we conservatives should never forget how absolutely worthless the GOP was from 2001-2007, when the Republicans controlled the White House and both houses of Congress. Aside from waging a war in Iraq, their only notable accomplishments were raising the national debt by several trillion dollars and kowtowing to the likes of Ted Kennedy and Russ Feingold.

Among the many things they did nothing about was improving health care. If all they had done was to pass legislation that enabled people to purchase their insurance across state borders and deny insurance companies the right to drop customers who took sick and actually needed health insurance, they could have spared us the agony of ObamaCare.

It would also have behooved them to pass legislation to ensure honest elections by making it a federal crime with serious consequences to register illegal aliens and dead or fictional people to vote. They could have also made photo IDs mandatory in all elections, whether local, state or federal.

I can only hope that when the Republicans regain control this coming January, their to-do list contains something other than re-paint the office and hire additional staff. Otherwise, they’d do well to keep in mind that 2014 is just around the corner.

One thing that never fails to amuse me is when I happen to tune in the local (Southern California) news, and the reporter covering, say, a nine-car pileup on the 101 freeway, happens to be Hispanic. He will give his crash report in unaccented English, but as soon as it’s time to sign off, he suddenly sounds like a Tijuana street vendor: “Reporting from Sherman Oaks, this is Her-NAN-do DO-min-GUEZ. Back to you, Hal.”

Actress Ellen Barkin, 58, passed along a tweet that read: “C’mon Isaac! Wash every pro-life, anti-education, anti-woman, xenophobic, gay-bashing, racist SOB right into the ocean.” How I long for the days when aging actresses tried to desperately hang on to the last few shreds of fame by relating in a tell-all autobiography how they had once slept with Jack Kennedy, Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando, Richard Burton and/or the starting five of the Los Angeles Lakers. It was so much more dignified than by displaying their ignorance and bigotry by engaging in political discourse.

To me, the most astonishing thing about the emergence of entertainers into the world of politics is that there are actually people who, apparently, are swayed by the likes of George Clooney, Barbra Streisand, Billy Crystal, Danny Glover, Oliver Stone, Paul McCartney and Harry Belafonte.

I mean, why would anyone care who these people favored in a presidential election? They’re pretty much the same folks who, over the years, determined that Sweet Leilani was more Oscar-worthy than They Can’t Take That Away From Me, that Three Coins in the Fountain was a better song than The Man That Got Away, that How Green Was My Valley was a better movie than Citizen Kane, and not only decided that Cary Grant and Alfred Hitchcock never deserved to win an Oscar, but never even nominated Edward G. Robinson.

Normal people wouldn’t let these chowderheads pick out their neckties, let alone their presidents.

Speaking of chowderheads, considering that most of them can only get excited about elections when either Barack Obama or Ron Paul is a candidate, I’ve decided that it’s not youth that’s wasted on the young; it’s the right to vote.

Finally, a reader recently sent me an email asking me if I could possibly explain the difference between a socialist and a communist. When I wrote back that a communist is a socialist who has managed to gain control of a government so that he can torture and murder with total impunity, he seemed satisfied.

I hope it satisfies others, especially those who still haven’t decided whom to vote for in November.

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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

HOT OFF THE PRESS!


In Barack Obama, You’re Fired! (And Don’t Bother Asking for a Letter of Recommendation), our Burt, the author of Conservatives Are from Mars, Liberals Are from San Francisco and Liberals: America’s Termites, once again skewers the Left for laughs.

In his own humorously deft way, in chapters titled “Obaminations,” “Naming Names,” “Liberals, Progressives and Socialists” and “What 80 Years of FDR, Jimmy Carter, Ted Kennedy and Barack Obama Have Wrought,” Prelutsky roasts the likes of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman, Maxine Waters, Charles Schumer, Juan Williams, Alan Colmes and Bill Maher.

As Prelutsky says, “In the Saul Alinsky playbook, which passes for a bible on the Left, he stated that ridicule was a powerful weapon against the enemy. It’s the one time he and I agreed.”

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Monday, September 17, 2012

THE BRAYING OF DONKEYS

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

The essential difference between liberals and conservatives is that liberals could not exist without conservatives to defend their freedoms and support them economically. Conservatives, on the other hand, could live quite well without liberals. And what’s more, we are quite anxious to test this theory. Evicting Obama would be a great place to begin.

All you have to do is look around the world to discover how badly Obama has bungled America’s foreign policy. By gutting the economy and the military, he has made this country a toothless tiger, so that even such backward nations as Syria, Iran and North Korea, can give us the proverbial finger and get away with it.

Allen West, quoting Alexander the Great, sums it up very neatly: “I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.”

It seems like only yesterday that Obama and Hillary Clinton were telling us that Assad’s days were numbered in Syria, but that was actually several thousand massacred Syrians ago. It now appears that Assad’s reign will out-last Obama’s.

I almost feel sorry for all those people who thought they were earning points in heaven by electing our first black president, but the fact remains that, by any honest evaluation, Obama has been our very worst president, usurping Jimmy Carter’s hard-earned title.

In spite of four years of a terrible economy; four years spent trying to destroy the coal and oil industry for purely ideological reasons; four years of ruling by presidential edict; four years spent declaring war on the states, while turning a blind eye to the Black Panthers and concealing the facts of Operation Fast and Furious, the Democrats are asking that we give Obama time. The truth is that most of us agree that he has it coming. But instead of four more years, we think that, for his efforts to trash the Constitution, 25-to-life would be just about right.

As Dinesh D’Souza’s “2016” makes abundantly clear, Obama’s greatest influence has always been and remains his birth father, an anti-western, Islamic zealot who spent his life railing against white people. It was not mere happenstance that the church Obama attended for two decades was one overseen by Jeremiah Wright, yet another father figure who preached the exact same demagogic swill as Obama’s old man.

It wasn’t merely hyperbole when Winston Churchill observed that “Islam is as dangerous in a man as rabies in a dog.” Neither was it merely politics as usual when Obama, addressing a group of Islamists, vowed that “I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.”

Perhaps that’s why after imposing what were supposed to be really severe restrictions on Iran’s oil trade, Obama gave 20 different nations waivers, allowing them to purchase that very same oil. In much the same way, after using bribery and intimidation to push ObamaCare through Congress, he immediately granted waivers to unions and those business owners who had been generous contributors to his 2008 campaign.

Generally, when a president sends his vice-president out on the hustings to help him get elected, his advice consists of “Keep it simple, stupid.” But in the case of Obama and Biden, the counsel seems to have consisted of “Keep it stupid, stupid.”

Speaking of stupid, whenever I see poor Juan Williams trying to slug it out verbally with the likes of Bret Baier, Charles Krauthammer and Steve Hayes on “Special Report,” it occurs to me that the system employed in boxing is far more civilized, providing, as it does, different divisions for featherweights and heavyweights.

During a recent month, Romney’s campaign took in $40 million and spent $32 million. During that same period, Obama’s campaign took in $49 million while spending $59 million. I think that pretty much sums up their respective fiscal policies.

Although Democrats are always insisting that the brains of their presidential candidates are so huge, they can barely make it through doorways, Obama recently told a crowd of his adoring fans that “The Republicans don’t have a plan to improve the economy, and the one they have doesn’t work.” Naturally, the nincompoops applauded like a crowd of trained seals.

Finally, the thing that has surprised me the most in all the recent polls is that people claim to find Obama more likeable than Mitt Romney. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what it is that people like about this arrogant, narcissistic, egomaniac.

Consider that John F. Kennedy once said to a group of Nobel Prize recipients: “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent and human knowledge that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

Now compare that statement to one made recently, when Barack Hussein Obama, speaking at a NBA fund-raiser, told a bunch of professional basketball players, “It is very rare I come to an event where I’m like only the fifth or sixth most interesting person.”

Still, I suppose when all is said and done, if your taste runs to pompous buffoons, he’s your guy.

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Friday, September 14, 2012

WARNING: LIBERALS ON THE LOOSE!

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
      16604 Dearborn Street
      North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

Burt hopes you'll enjoy this bonus article torn from the headlines. After you've read this one, he hopes you'll also enjoy, Spanking Liberals. -ed.

by Burt Prelutsky

I,
for one, was extremely upset about the storming of the American embassy in Cairo, Egypt. Perhaps I should be more specific. It wasn’t the storming itself that angered me. We have all come to expect that sort of thing from the non-Israeli inhabitants of the Middle East. What pissed me off was that in the aftermath, the U.S. apologized. Apparently it is now our official policy to speak softly and carry no stick at all.

I also fear that our response may act as precedence in other areas. For instance, it may now be incumbent on rape victims to apologize to their attackers.

At the Charlotte convention, Sandra Fluke -- the so-called Georgetown University law student who never seems to go to class or take tests, sort of like the Left’s favorite ministers, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who never seem to give sermons or even attend church -- claimed that Mitt Romney and the Republicans “want to make us endure invasive ultrasound.” I found it interesting that a woman, whom I suspect doesn’t really have to concern herself with the availability of birth control pills, regards an ultrasound procedure as invasive, but not an abortion.

But I’m sure that if anyone tried to pin Ms. Fluke down as to what it is about ultrasound that makes it invasive, she would become instantly evasive.

I don’t know what to make of the polls that suggest that Obama is running neck-and-neck or even slightly ahead of Mitt Romney. Although I have my suspicions, I will continue to predict a Romney victory in November. As I have said all along, if you didn’t vote for Obama in 2008, he certainly hasn’t given you any good reason to vote for him this time. On the other hand, if you were dumb enough to fall for “Hope & Change” back then, you’ve now had four long years in which to wake up and face the truth about this snake oil salesman.

I’m not saying that millions of people won’t vote for Obama and Biden. After all, in spite of the millions of unemployed and underemployed, in spite of the $16 trillion national debt and the annual one trillion dollar deficit, there are about 15 million more Americans now receiving bribes in the form of food stamps.

Besides that, Americans, in huge numbers, have become accustomed to voting for American Idol competitors. As a result, they have taken to voting for the president on the same juvenile basis, asking themselves not to judge a man on his experience, decency and temperament, but merely on whether he’s cool and groovy in front of the TV camera.

When I look at millions of my countrymen today, I’m reminded that grass smells best when it’s freshly cut; leaves look their best when they’re dying and smell their best when they’re burning. Too bad none of that will be able to be said for America as it reaches the end of its rope if Obama is re-elected. If he remains in the Oval Office, I’m afraid that the pervasive stench of America would be that of an open sewer.

As bad as some of our presidents have been, one never had reason to think he wasn’t proud to be an American and the leader of the free world. Even when Obama pays verbal respect to America’s military and the nation’s exceptionalism, one can’t help feeling an emotional disconnect. He sounds so much more believable when he’s lauding some labor union boss or promising stuff from his goody bag to college students and welfare recipients.

Never, not even when FDR spent over 12 years in the White House, has a president seemed so much like the sort of cult figure we’re used to seeing in places like Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, Cuba, China and Iraq. Given another four years, I would assume we’d start seeing Obama statues popping up in public places.

This brings us to Obama’s hometown where the teachers are striking in spite of the fact that they are already being paid $76,000-a-year, not counting pensions, in a city where the average taxpayer only makes $47,000. What makes it even more farcical is that the Teachers Union has already been offered a new contract that calls for a 16% increase over the next four years. In case you are a product of the Chicago public school system, the 16% bump would raise the annual salary to $88,160.

It seems that the teachers find the pay hike acceptable. What they resent is that school principals would actually have the authority to fire the incompetents. But that has been an overriding issue for most unions over the past few decades. Teachers always insist that every work stoppage is for the kids, but inevitably it’s either for their wallets or, as in this case, to protect the deadheads who nevertheless can be relied on to pay their union dues.

Karen Lewis, the 350-pound President of the Chicago Teachers Union, while addressing the North West Teaching for Social Justice Conference in Seattle last year, said, “I am the only black woman in the class of 1974 from Dartmouth College. Woo! People are impressed. Let me tell you, I spent those years smoking lots of weed, self-medicating.”

When their laughter died down, Ms. Lewis added: “Sounds like you all did, too.”

No word whether Barack Obama was in the audience or was merely being channeled by President Lewis.

Perhaps the most telling fact of all in the Chicago strike is that Chicago school children are among the worst-educated in the country. Perhaps part of the reason is that they have the shortest school day, running only five-and-a-half hours long, thanks to previous teacher contracts.

So, if you’re one of those people who continue to believe that school teachers are underpaid and overworked, I won’t try to convince you how silly you are and how unfair it is that the people who pay their salaries make, on average, roughly half as much as they do. I will merely point out that, however you slice it, $76,000-a-year is a hell of a lot of money to pay a babysitter.

Burt hopes you've enjoyed this bonus article torn from the headlines. Now that you've read this one, he hopes you'll also enjoy, Spanking Liberals. -ed.

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      Burt Prelutsky
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SPANKING LIBERALS

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
      16604 Dearborn Street
      North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Liberals: America’s Termites is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

Burt hopes you'll enjoy this article. After you've read this one, he hopes you'll enjoy this bonus article torn from the headlines, Warning: Liberals on the Loose. -ed.

by Burt Prelutsky

I thought it was hilarious when Barack Obama took Mitt Romney to task for only disclosing two years of tax returns. He said, “When you run for president, people assume your life is an open book.” I want to know who writes this guy’s material so I can send him a fan letter. Imagine, the guy who has done his level best to keep all of his own personal records sealed has the chutzpah to chide his opponent for keeping secrets. That old adage about the pot calling the kettle names leaps to mind.

If liberals didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all. I refer to the fact that 102 American soldiers have been killed by Afghans in uniform, 40 of the murders just in the past eight months. How is it that the same folks who kept demanding that Bush pull our troops out of Iraq aren’t insisting that Obama pull them out of Afghanistan? Why is it that the L.A. Times isn’t running a daily scorecard of military deaths and that Garry Trudeau doesn’t list the names of the ambushed warriors in his Sunday edition of Doonesbury?

At the very least, why isn’t the New York Times insisting that Obama justify squandering blood and treasure on behalf of Hamid Karzai? And how is it that no Democrat in Congress, aside from Dennis Kucinich, has raised a stink? Inasmuch as the Taliban possess no weapons of mass destruction and we’re not there to bring about regime change, how is it that liberals justify this war when they so adamantly opposed the one waged by George W. Bush?

Moving on, what is it about the United Nations that liberals find attractive? It is, after all, an organization that stands idly by while genocide takes place in Uganda, while Christians are crucified in Egypt and Syrians are bombed in Syria. While I realize that liberals have a soft spot for theories, such as socialism, that look good on paper; and that they are attracted to unattainable goals such as universal brotherhood and a planet that is not only free of industry but of people; what do they find that is even slightly appealing about this gang of freeloading thugs? As if it’s not bad enough that its various foreign delegates commit all sorts of crimes, ranging from double-parking in Manhattan to manslaughter, and suffer no consequences more severe than being sent back home, the organization itself is constantly applauding such guest speakers as Yasser Arafat, Hugo Chavez and Mahmud Ahmadinejad, and placing nations like Syria and Libya on its human rights commission.

The major differences between Mafia dons and the members of the U.N. is that the gangsters, to their credit, don’t pretend to be humanitarians, they dress better and rumor has it they actually have a code.

I mean, imagine the lunacy of the United States not only belonging to a group that grants veto powers to Russia and China, but paying most of its bills.

If President Romney doesn’t get us out of the U.N. and get the U.N. off our turf, even I’ll consider running against him in 2016.

Some people were convinced that Obama was going to dump Biden from the ticket, especially when he not only misidentified the state, but the century, in which he was speaking. Then, for good measure, he lapsed into the worst southern accent anyone recalls hearing since 2008, when Hillary Clinton was campaigning below the Mason/Dixon Line, and announced that the GOP intended to reinstitute slavery.

Some people couldn’t imagine that after that trifecta, Biden would remain on the ticket. I knew better, and it’s not just that Biden makes it so easy for Obama to appear intelligent by comparison. Because Biden is such an obvious bonehead, he is an invaluable asset. By way of explanation, let me confess that for the longest time, I wondered how it was that so many successful rock and rap stars had such terrible voices and minimal musical skills. Then it hit me. Their appeal is to homely teenagers who also sing and play badly. It’s called identification. Most people are intimidated by those who possess actual gifts. But when they watch a no-talent, it’s well within the realm of the possible that some day that could be them on stage being cheered and admired.

Therein lies the appeal of Joe Biden for millions of Democrats. In him, they see themselves. We have all heard of expensive cars, such as Ferraris, Bugattis and Porsches, referred to as chick magnets. I think it’s fair to regard Joe Biden as a cluck magnet.

Finally, we have often heard that imprisonment can further harden even hardened criminals. What you don’t often hear is that it can also turn them into liberals. For instance, consider David Berkowitz, who came to be known as “The Son of Sam” after voices in his head told him to go out and kill, racking up six murders before he was arrested. He was moved to suggest, after the spate of recent killings in Colorado, Wisconsin and Chicago, that the solution was to simply “Take the glory out of guns.”

If he ever gets out of the slammer, Mr. Berkowitz might consider running for mayor of New York with that slogan. After all, he now holds the exact same position on the Second Amendment as Michael Bloomberg (aka “Son of William and Charlotte”).

But, moreover, at least so far as I know, he doesn’t believe he’s God and therefore wouldn’t be crazy or arrogant enough to take it upon himself to ban soft drinks, chocolate and salt.
Burt hopes you've enjoyed this article. After you've read this one, he hopes you'll enjoy this bonus article torn from the headlines, Warning: Liberals on the Loose.-ed

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Get your personally autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success for just $19.95, postpaid. Get both for just $34.90.
Profiles of Success (60 candid conversations with 60 Over-Achievers)
If you'd prefer to pay by check, send your order to:

      Burt Prelutsky
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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

THE MARTIANS ARE HERE!

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

      Burt Prelutsky
      16604 Dearborn Street
      North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success. Please make your preference known when you make your donation. A copy of Portraits of Success is on its way to August’s winner: Ms. Janice M. Cole of Lenoir City, TN.

by Burt Prelutsky

I have come to believe that left-wingers hail from a different planet. That isn’t said in order to insult them, but to try to make sense of the stupid things they say and the nasty things they do.

After all, why would rational earthlings want to radically alter America? A little tinkering might be okay, but what Obama and his goons have done over the past few years is the equivalent of re-inventing the wheel and giving it square corners.

Why would earthlings even consider basing our economy on a system that has consistently failed in left-wing nations stretching from the Soviet Union to Cuba and Venezuela, leaving only dead bodies and ruins in its wake?

And just listen to the words they spew forth. Nancy Pelosi tells America and her colleagues in the House that they’ll have to pass ObamaCare before they find out what’s lurking in its two thousand-odd pages. Rahm Emanuel tells his fellow Chicagoans that if they’re going to kill someone in his town, they should do it in an alley so that a stray bullet doesn’t hit an innocent kid. Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz claims she has no idea if a political ad that insinuates Mitt Romney is personally responsible for a woman dying of cancer was produced by Democrats. For good measure, Debbie, who is the head of the DNC, doubles down by insisting that Paul Ryan’s budget will deprive the elderly of their Medicare benefits even though she very well knows that the Republican budget changes absolutely nothing for anyone over the age of 55.

For his part, Obama and Harry Reid have the chutzpah to demand to see Romney’s tax returns going back to the Civil War, while Obama has concealed everything from his college application to his foreign travel visa. The only thing this schmuck shares with the world at large are America’s national security secrets, never any secrets of his own.

An honest difference of opinion is fine. At the creation of our nation, the Founding Fathers disagreed about a great many things. But they didn’t lie. Even in the often slimy world of politics, there’s only one creature lower than a candidate who lies about himself and that’s one who puts lies in the mouth of his opponent.

Liberals are forever casting themselves in the role of superheroes sworn to saving those they refer to as the less fortunate. What they never mention is that they have devoted over half a century and several trillion dollars to this holy cause, and all we have to show for it is a bankrupt economy and even greater numbers of those wallowing on the bottom.

Naturally, there’s a logical reason for it. It’s because liberals merely dub everyone who belongs to certain minority groups as “unfortunate,” instead of concluding that there are millions of people here in America, many of them here illegally, who simply don’t wish to get off their own bottoms in order to improve their lot in life.

Why would these “unfortunate” girls bother getting an education when, instead, they can get knocked up in their teens, figuring welfare will support them and their brood for the next 60 years, leaving them free to watch soap operas; and when “unfortunate” young males decide they would prefer spending their time knocking up their girlfriends, cutting classes, getting stoned and peddling drugs?

These are not innocent victims of a corrupt society; they are the corrupt result of national policies that encourage sloth and ignorance. It’s not even fair to refer to them as being stuck on a plantation as if they were latter-day slaves because actual slaves had to work or they didn’t eat.

Something that has always confounded me is why those on the Left are always so anxious for the federal government to keep expanding when history tells them that at least half the time, Republicans are going to be in control of that very same government. I finally figured out that most Republican politicians aren’t really opposed to expanding Washington’s grasp, they simply don’t want Democrats doing the expanding.

But things under Obama have reached the breaking point, and I have to believe that Romney and Ryan will at the very least do their level best to keep the country from going over the edge and following such lemmings as Greece, Italy and Spain, to the rocks below.

I read recently that in Israel, they have developed special eyeglasses for orthodox Jews. The purpose isn’t to improve their eyesight, but to slightly blur their vision so that they won’t be corrupted by the sight of immodestly dressed women.

At first, I figured there would be a run on these glasses by male members of Congress, who would be spared having to clearly see the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee, especially too soon after the lunch break.

But a day later, I received an email from my faithful Arizona correspondent, Donald Melquist, who let me know that he had recently had an operation on his left eye to take care of a macular hole, followed by a cataract operation on his right eye. That meant he had to wear a patch on his right eye, leaving him dependent on his still-blurry left eye for a few days.

As a result, he couldn’t drive and couldn’t read, but it did ultimately leave him, he claims, with a better understanding of Democrats. The world was unchanged, he reported, but because he saw everything through the distorted view of his impaired left eye, he concluded that Democrats simply have a very skewed view of reality.

For me, it still remains a mystery whether liberals don’t see the same things as conservatives or simply don’t see things the same way. Is it that their vision is faulty or are their brains simply not equipped to process what they see?

In any case, I’ll try to keep an open mind, but for the time being, I’m sticking with my Martian theory.

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Monday, September 10, 2012

A SUMMING-UP

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      Burt Prelutsky
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Burt hopes you’ll enjoy this bonus article about the GOP Convention, and he hopes you’ll also enjoy the regularly scheduled article: Newsweek Finally Makes News. -ed.

by Burt Prelutsky

With the Democratic convention wrapped up, I find myself wondering if Timothy Cardinal Dolan finds microphones and TV cameras as irresistible as moths find burning candles. I mean, this was an event at which the assembly clearly voiced its disapproval of putting “God” back in the Party platform. In addition, on the same night that Cardinal Dolan gave the benediction, Caroline Kennedy, after identifying herself as a Catholic, gave her unwavering support to abortion, and Barack Obama, who remains one of the few people who ever voted in favor of partial-birth abortions, accepted his party’s nomination.

The question that comes to mind is whether there is any venue, no matter how unsavory, no matter how openly offensive to Church doctrine, that Dolan would avoid so long as he was guaranteed a featured role in the proceedings. One can only wonder if next season he’ll be hosting a new TV reality show, “Celebrity Divorce Court.”

It’s puzzling that all these years after the pharmaceutical industry has provided Americans with birth control pills, morning after pills and more contraceptive devices than Margaret Sanger could ever have envisioned in her wildest dreams, Democrats are still acting as if the year is 1912 instead of 2012. The way they carry on, you have to wonder if they resent any babies being born. Liberals, who clearly have too much time on their hands, worry about snail darters, spotted owls and endangered insects, but the only mother they really seem to cherish is Mother Nature.

Alden Nowlan once observed that “The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives his parents, he becomes an adult.” It often seems to me that liberals never move beyond adolescence. That’s why when Romney and Ryan talk about cutting the national debt and reducing entitlements, Obama and his disciples detest them. To left-wingers, they sound like party-poopers, like the sort of people who tell you to do your homework, clean up your room and eat your vegetables. In short, they sound like grown-ups.

Obama, on the other hand, is the perennial juvenile. Nothing is ever his fault. Instead, everything is the fault of Bush, the Europeans, the Republicans, Japan’s tsunami and the Mayan calendar.

For me, one of the highlights of the Charlotte convention was hearing John Kerry, aka Mr. Ed, accusing Mitt Romney of being for something before he was against it. In what might be the greatest display of chutzpah during this generation, Kerry actually took the occasion of reminding America that he was the lummox who, during his own presidential campaign, proclaimed that he was the guy who voted for the Iraq War before he was against it.

Because independents and moderates will finally decide the election in November, and because they tend to be the most oblivious of voters, I would like to remind them that Obama came into office vowing to cut the $10 trillion national debt. Because most people can’t cope with large numbers, I want to explain what it means for America, four short years later, to now hold an IOU amounting to $16 trillion. In round numbers, it means that every single man, woman and child -- all 300 million of us -- owes roughly $53,000!

Getting back to the Charlotte convention, a popular button sported by the delegates bore the message “Once you vote black, you never go back.” What makes it so noteworthy is that it’s a take-off on a popular pickup line that black guys successfully used on na├»ve white girls back in the 1960s, which definitely led to a spike in pre-Roe v. Wade abortions.

Another sidebar of interest involved the keynote speaker, Julian Castro, or, more specifically, his mother, Maria del Rosario Castro, whose other twin son, Joaquin, is running for Congress. It seems that Mrs. Castro, once an activist for the openly racist La Raza, claims that Davy Crockett and his fellow Texans who fought and died defending the Alamo weren’t heroes, after all. According to the mayor’s mom, “They were a bunch of drunks and crooks and slaveholding imperialists.”

What makes her comments so remarkable, comments that haven’t been refuted by her son, Julian, is that he just happens to be the mayor of San Antonio, the home of the Alamo.

No word yet whether Mayor Castro intends to turn the historical fort into a parking garage or a minimart.

Burt hopes you’ve enjoyed this bonus article about the GOP Convention, and he hopes you’ll also enjoy the regularly scheduled article: Newsweek Finally Makes News. -ed.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Get your personally autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success for just $19.95, postpaid. Get both for just $34.90.
Profiles of Success (60 candid conversations with 60 Over-Achievers)
If you'd prefer to pay by check, send your order to:

      Burt Prelutsky
      16604 Dearborn Street
      North Hills, CA 91343-3604.