Friday, April 19, 2013


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by Burt Prelutsky

I have been holding off writing anything about the horrific events at the Boston Marathon until the suspect or suspects had been arrested, because until then I couldn’t see any point in discussing it. Then it occurred to me that what I was overlooking was the way that every other media outlet has covered the story.

That first night, even Fox devoted every single second to repeating the few facts anyone knew and showing the same ten seconds of video. I’m not suggesting that the catastrophe could or should have been ignored. But without knowing who set off the bombs, what was the point of the endless coverage? Did people really think that if they didn’t stay tuned 24/7, they would somehow miss out on the news that the FBI had captured the creeps?

Perhaps it’s just me. After all, I didn’t devote very much time to the trials and tribulations of O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Casey Anthony or Jodi Arias, either. But, then, I am also not a fan of soap operas or so-called reality shows like “The Bachelor” or “The Apprentice.” Maybe I’m just not like other people. And for that, I’m grateful, as I’m sure are they.

In the wake of the Boston massacre, Dianne Feinstein has proposed legislation banning pressure cookers, but Barack Obama has indicated that he’d be willing to settle for a national register. In San Francisco, the police are offering concert tickets in exchange for the lethal devices. I’ve already seen bumper-stickers that remind us that pressure cookers don’t kill people, other people do.

Speaking of which, my brother-in-law wrote to me from Michigan, wanting to know if I had any idea who was paying to have all those Newtown parents flying around from one event to another, serving as props for Obama. I had to admit I had no idea. For all I know, they might have been paying their own way. But inasmuch as even these grief-stricken parents must have known that none of Obama’s anti-gun proposals would have prevented their children and their teachers from being murdered by Adam Lanza, one has to suspect that something besides their grief kept them moving from one high-profile venue to another.

Just because Obama has been focused on doing away with the Second Amendment doesn’t mean he hasn’t been causing mischief in other quarters. Apparently on his orders, the Army has stopped serving cooked breakfasts to 2,700 soldiers deployed in remote parts of Afghanistan. It’s either in preparation of the drawdown or the result of the Sequester. In either case, soldiers have been writing home, asking their families to send them cereal and breakfast bars.

America, it seems to me, was founded on Judeo-Christian principles, but it has floundered on the shoals of ignorance, sloth and greed. What brings that to mind is the immigration reform bill proposed by the bi-partisan gang of eight. It was back in the 1980s that Ronald Reagan got sucker-punched by the Democrats, who promised that if he signed the amnesty bill, a fence would be erected at our southern border. Here it is, 27 years and 17 million more illegal aliens later, and they’re still talking about some five-year plan for closing the border. Only now they have guys like Marco Rubio and John McCain on board, fronting for them.

Immigration reform either begins with a double fence separated by a road easily accessible to border agents or it’s just the same re-heated hash that political hacks trolling for Hispanic votes have been feeding us for nearly 30 years!

Finally, in China, a man shoved a live eel up his butt after seeing some other dude do it in a porno film. As you might have guessed, he wound up having to undergo surgery after the creature ate its way through his intestine.

Now I can’t tell you exactly why it is, but his experience reminds me in some peculiar way of all those people who voted to re-elect Barack Obama last November.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

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