Monday, April 1, 2013


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There is a trial balloon, or at least a rumor, floating around that suggests there just might be a Hillary Clinton/Michelle Obama run for the White House in 2016. Some are actually referring to it as a dream ticket. More like a nightmare. But I am willing to make book it doesn’t happen. Anyone who actually believes Mrs. Obama would play second fiddle to the honky bitch probably thinks that if that idea doesn’t pan out, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny might consider making a run for the White House. At least those two seem to like each other.

Even at this late date, there are conservative pundits who insist that Barack Obama is brilliant. In trying to figure out where people get that wacky idea, I have concluded it’s because they, too, attended an Ivy League college. There’s nothing like snobbism to make people turn a blind eye to reality. So even though Obama announced that there are 57 states in the Union, informed us that Austrians speak Austrian, that “corps” is pronounced “corpse,” that the federal government doesn’t have a spending problem and that a $17 trillion debt is nothing to get excited about, they continue to insist he’s a genius.

Even though five years ago, when he pointed out that George Bush had raised the national debt four trillion dollars in eight years, he said it was not only irresponsible, but unpatriotic, he nevertheless turned around and raised that same debt eight trillion dollars in just four years, and said it was hunky dory.

Brilliant? At the risk of insulting morons, I’d say he’s a moron, and if the media didn’t keep propping him up, and refusing to ask him any embarrassing questions, even Ivy Leaguers might catch on. Unfortunately, it’s far too easy to pull the sheepskin over conservatives’ eyes, so long as they, too, attended Harvard, Yale or Princeton.

When you see the members of the White House press corps sitting politely scribbling down every whopper Jay Carney spouts, you begin to wonder if perhaps when it comes to them, the appropriate word really is corpse.

The biggest single difference between the members of the press and sheep is that someone has to hold the sheep down in order to shear them. It was Jack Kennedy who first defanged the media. He pretended he respected them and, dopes that they are, they fell for his malarkey. That only went to prove that Walter Cronkite was no smarter than Marilyn Monroe or Angie Dickinson.

In order to prove that he wasn’t kidding about the seriousness of the Sequester, Obama shut down tours of the White House. Interestingly enough, it didn’t prevent his spending roughly a million dollars so that he could scratch playing a round of golf with Tiger Woods off his bucket list. It also didn’t force him to fire even one of the three official White House calligraphers who cost the tax-payers $275,000-a-year. Speaking of which, I guess I should have heeded my mother’s advice when she told me that in the long run, it was more important to write fancy than to write well.

Recently, I was shocked to hear that whereas only 28% of Africa is considered wilderness, 38% of the U.S. has that distinction. I know we have a lot of mountains, forests and deserts, but it didn’t seem possible until I began to suspect that the folks who came to that conclusion were including places like Chicago, Philadelphia and Detroit.

A mystery that confounds me is how dumb does someone need to be in order to be an environmental zealot. I mean, solar panel companies fail on a regular basis, electric cars continue to go unloved and unsold, windmills keep slaughtering endangered birds by the thousands and we keep spending billions of dollars buying oil from our most vile enemies when we’re sitting on huge deposits of coal, oil and natural gas, and the greenies keep pretending that Mother Nature will die if they don’t get their way.

What makes their behavior so weird is that Mother Nature is hardly the feeble old lady they pretend she is. This is the same broad who was responsible for the tsunami that hit Japan, the hurricane that nearly washed New Orleans off the map and that just a few months ago forced Chris Christie to lock his lips on Barack Obama’s fanny and hang on for dear life.

It’s to be expected that environmentalists would be left-wingers. After all, only liberals would look at what’s been happening in Italy, Spain and Greece, and say, “Look at those thriving socialist economies. That’s what we need over here. Thank heaven Obama sees it that way, too.”

Only a liberal loon would ignore the fact that redistribution of wealth inevitably leads to a redistribution of poverty.

But, then, only a leftist would continue to ballyhoo unions. While it’s true that, say, a century ago, unions were necessary, with time they became, at best, a necessary evil. And, finally, as they morphed into sinecures for thugs, slugs and incompetents, they simply ended up evil.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

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