Monday, May 13, 2013


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by Burt Prelutsky

I generally regard the Israelis as sensible and self-sufficient, but now I hear that they put a major construction job up for bids and, lo and behold, a Chinese firm got the contract. Frankly, I wouldn’t trust the Chinese to build me a bird house, let alone a railroad from Eilat to the Mediterranean. What? There are no Israeli construction companies? What if Iran had submitted a lower bid than the Chinese? Would Ahmadinejad be the foreman on the job? At this point, I only hope that the construction company is the one we know as Chang, Lee, Wu and Rosenberg.

Speaking of that part of the world, the Guardian’s Glenn Greenwald insists it’s U.S. intervention in the Middle East that motivates screwballs like the blood-thirsty Tsarnaev brothers. In the meantime, former TV anchorman and all-around pinhead Tom Brokaw lays the blame on our drone attacks. What neither of these chuckleheads bothers to explain is why the Muslim jihadists have blown up civilians in Bali, Japan, Brazil and India, among other places that have left no footprints on their precious sand. People like Mr. Greenwald and Mr. Brokaw would be labeled useful idiots if anyone could ever come up with a use for them.

Although it’s much more fun to mock Bob Beckel, who spends hours a day on Fox looking as if he’s about to fall off the wagon at any moment, truth demands that I give him a shout-out for proposing a sensible idea. He suggests that until we find out where the thousands of people who came here on student visas and never attended a single class are hiding out, so we can round them up and boot them out, we shut down all immigration from China and the Muslim nations. And I say if we fail to collar all the ne’er-do-wells, what’s the big deal if their countrymen can’t ever come to America? They can always go to Israel and help them build that damn railroad.

Speaking of glorious days, wouldn’t it be great if instead of worrying about law-abiding citizens being able to protect themselves with guns, and providing citizenship to people who don’t have it coming, Congress would devote its time and energy to passing a federal law denying voting privileges to anyone who can’t provide a valid photo ID? The notion that such a requirement would deny suffrage to millions of people who are either elderly or members of some racial minority is so preposterous that only a liberal would have the chutzpah to make the charge with a straight face.

But it figures that a country that’s been so frivolous when it comes to protecting its sovereignty by guarding its borders would be equally cavalier when it comes to preserving the sanctity of the polling booth. I would actually have more respect for the Democrats if they just came out and admitted they wanted illegal aliens to have every possible opportunity to elect their candidates. That would go down so much better than all their lies and false pieties, especially when everyone, including the illegal aliens and fraudulent voters, know the truth.

Although by now we’ve all seen the commercials urging us to sign up for food stamps, what you might not know is that the federal government is paying people to go out and recruit older Americans to sign up for the program. Florida is proving to be a happy hunting ground for these recruiters.

Even though most of those signing up in recent years are living comfortably on their investments, pensions and Social Security, idling away the golden years soaking up the sun, playing golf and taking macramé classes, they’re being told that they’ve earned all this largesse, and, essentially, that they’re suckers if they don’t let their fellow taxpayers put food on their table.

And, so, much like Faust, they trade their souls for something they don’t really need and, worse yet, don’t deserve.

I only hope that the next time those old retired folks cluck their tongues over welfare cheats, they realize they’re talking about themselves.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

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