Friday, May 10, 2013


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by Burt Prelutsky

A while back, it occurred to me that while the glamour magazines are constantly telling American women that 60 is the new 50, and 50 is the new 40, and 40 is the new 30, in Hollywood, 60 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 15. For instance, if you consider the movie roles they play, you might get the idea that most leading men are in their teens or early 20s. So it may come as a shock to you that Matt Damon is 42, Will Ferrell is 45, Adam Sandler is 46, Ben Stiller is 47, David Spade is 48 and Jim Carrey is a ripe old 51.

Even more surprising to me is that in spite of his boyish ways and his collegiate haircut, Jay Carney is 48. But I guess it takes time and experience to learn how to lie on Obama’s behalf with such ease and, apparently, without the slightest bit of embarrassment.

But, then, he has learned from the master. Imagine the amount of gall it must take to furlough air traffic controllers, causing massive delays at airports all around the country, blaming it on the Sequester, while at the same time throw lavish galas at the White House, blow a million bucks on a round of golf with Tiger Woods, and God knows how many of our tax dollars jetting down to Texas for a fund-raiser! And of course Air Force One is never forced to idle on the tarmac for a couple of grueling hours simply because air traffic controllers have been sent home as a cheap political ploy.

In the wake of the Boston bombings, I have noticed that the media is up to its old tricks. Just as they persisted in posting photos of 11-year-old Trayvon Martin for months after the 6’2,” 17-year-old menace was shot in self-defense by George Zimmerman, I keep seeing photos of bushy-haired, baby-faced, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev looking like he’s at his first Communion. Instead of a pressure cooker bomb, he’s holding a single red carnation. Funny, but I don’t seem to recall seeing pictures of Charles Manson or Timothy McVeigh at the age of 10, frolicking with their puppies.

Even in the wake of the Boston massacre, I keep hearing liberals complaining that cameras in public places are an invasion of privacy. Just how loony are left-wingers, you ask? Let’s just say that if their stupidity could be transformed into electrical power, we’d have a power grid in America that would free us of our dependency on oil, coal, sun and wind. Anyone who believes that once he steps outside his front door, the Constitution provides him with the expectation of privacy is clearly non compos mentis, and should not be trusted to venture outdoors.

Thanks to the media’s infatuation with abortions, the trial of late term abortionist Kermit Gosnell has pretty much flown under the public’s radar. The fact that he made a practice of snipping the spines of babies who managed to survive his butchery would normally make him lip-smacking grist for TV, but aside from Fox News, the media is giving his trial a wide berth. God forbid they do anything that might make abortions unpalatable to the American public.

For a long time, I generally limited my remarks about abortions to honestly admitting that I couldn’t imagine how in this day and age, with all the birth control pills and devices, and the decades of sex education classes in our schools, anyone could still be dumb enough to become accidentally pregnant. But after 51% of the country decided to re-elect Obama last November, I realized that there is no limit to human stupidity.

Therefore, ridicule is plainly not enough. So, instead, I will say that unless a three-man panel of gynecologists whose names have been drawn out of a hat has determined that an abortion is necessary to save the life of the mother, abortions should be banned.

What’s more, any man who impregnates a woman to whom he isn’t married will be arrested and serve time in jail. And, furthermore, any doctor who performs abortions, in clear violation of his Hippocratic Oath “to first do no harm,” will both lose his medical license and be charged with murder.

I am well aware that the Supreme Court made abortions legal in its Roe v. Wade decision. I am also aware that slavery was once legal and women’s suffrage wasn’t. Anyone who puts his faith in the Supreme Court is guilty of naiveté in the first degree. These are merely men and women who owe their positions and authority to the whims of politicians. They were not appointed by God, after all, but merely by the likes of people named Carter, Clinton, Bush and Obama.

Excusing what is immoral on the grounds that it is legal is dangerous. After all, under Nazi law, the butchery performed by Dr. Josef Mengele on concentration camp prisoners in the abattoir he called a laboratory was perfectly legal.

What astonishes me is that liberals shed more tears for the murder of late term Kansas abortionist George Tiller than they ever did for the thousands of babies he destroyed. And what disturbs me even more are the millions of people who parrot the nonsense that embryos belong solely to the women carrying them, and that an abortion is no different from a woman’s having a mole removed.

Abortion enthusiast Paris Harris of MSNBC recently insisted that children belong to society, not their parents. If I follow that correctly, one second before birth, the child belongs exclusively to some woman who has the perfect right to kill it, while a second later it belongs to all of us.

I have long contended that it’s impossible to dig up a Democrat who makes any sense at all unless, of course, you literally dug one up. So, does anyone happen to know where Harry Truman is buried?

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

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