Wednesday, June 26, 2013

PEARLS OF WISDOM

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by Burt Prelutsky

Children, someone once said, are a consolation for everything in life, except having children.

Casey Stengel once observed “There comes time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.” And which of us hasn’t said the very same thing?

One of my readers, Stanley Helfeld, insists “The problem isn’t that we have a policy of leading from behind, it’s that we have a behind leading us.”

Another of my readers, Ed Rolanty of Toronto, wrote to tell me that he had followed American politics for most of his life, “And had I not witnessed it myself, I would never have believed the U.S. would proceed down the same misguided socialist path their neighbor to the north has been following for decades. From universal (lack of) healthcare to bilingualism to hare-brained immigration policies to ‘modern’ education and most other facets of the liberal agenda, only a fool would look to Canada as a shining example of the efficacy of those policies.”

Apparently the view from Toronto is clearer than it is down here, where only 67% of Americans, according to a recent poll, believe Obama is a liberal. Twenty-four percent regard him as a moderate and a spooky five percent are convinced he’s a conservative.

As I see the Russians, Chinese and Iranians, doing everything they can to prop up al-Assad in Syria, I am reminded of Spain in the 1930s. It’s not just that both countries have five-letter names beginning with an “S.” During Spain’s civil war, which saw Germany and Italy on one side and the Soviet Union on the other, the world got to see a rehearsal for World War II. I’m beginning to believe that Syria is the place where World War III will be kick-started.

In preparation for the big shebang, Muslims are rioting and killing in England, France and Sweden, while these dithering left-wing governments do little more than warn their citizens not to reciprocate. When, I wonder, will the highly vaunted tolerance in the West finally give way to something resembling sanity? These countries threw open their borders to millions of violent superstitious cretins who have no intention of assimilating, preferring sharia law to the laws of the European nations they leech off like parasites, all the while despising their hosts.

The major difference between Nazis and Muslims, by the way, is that the German thugs often had an appreciation of art, beauty and culture. As vile as they were, they wanted to rule the world of the 20th century, not that of the eighth.

In the meantime, Obama continues to demand that Gitmo be shut down, insisting that it’s a recruiting tool for jihadists, while failing to explain why there were numerous Muslim attacks on America and Europe decades before anyone had ever heard of Guantanamo. It’s not Gitmo the barbarians object to, it’s the notion of America imprisoning Muslims.

But speaking of Gitmo, what right do we have we to force-feed the prisoners? It seems to me that starvation would be a win-win for both sides. The prisoners could head off to Paradise and collect their 72 virgins, the military guards would be free to do something besides play nursemaids to terrorists and, yes, we could finally shut the place down. Perhaps we could even turn a profit on the deal by selling the place to Donald Trump so he could build a hotel.

Finally, I understand the benefit of a liberal arts education. In the past, the whole purpose of keeping kids in college majoring in French poetry, Polish history or black, Hispanic or lesbian, studies was to delay their entry into the job market, allowing older factory workers a chance to retire and make room for them.

But now that most factory jobs have disappeared and the economy has been dormant for so many years, I suspect the whole purpose of a liberal arts education has been to prepare young grads for a future spent in their parents’ basement, guzzling beer and texting misspelled inanities to one another.


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