Wednesday, June 19, 2013

UNFAIR AND UNBALANCED

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by Burt Prelutsky

When Jack Finney's book, “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” was made into a movie in 1956, a lot of people insisted that it was an attack on McCarthyism. I don’t know. I was a fan of the late Mr. Finney’s novels, but I know nothing about his politics. To my mind, the pods were Communists.

To me, the book and the movie both foreshadowed the way that leftists move from place to place, tainting the political landscape as they go. For instance, Californians moved north and, as a result, today Oregon and Washington are as far to the left politically as they are geographically. In the East, Manhattanites migrated, and as a result New England might as well call itself Upper New York.

In other parts of the country, the demographics are being drastically altered by illegal aliens. These days, the pods are off the trucks and they’re everywhere. Unfortunately, they don’t all have the distinguishing little X on the back of their necks, but you can easily recognize them by the silly things they say and do.

For instance, Juan Williams is not only convinced that Eric Holder has done nothing wrong, but, on the off-chance that he may have inadvertently done something untoward, believes that Eric Holder is the very best person to investigate Eric Holder. And for those kinds of observations, Fox News is paying him millions of dollars. One has to suspect that Williams has photos of Roger Ailes playing footsies with a sheep named Mildred.

Speaking of photos, we have now seen so many of Barack Obama and Chris Christie strolling along hand-in-hand, looking like an eHarmony commercial, that I keep expecting Michelle to file divorce papers, naming Christie as the other whale.

During one of their recent dates, Chris and Barack visited some sort of fair. It seems that Barack tried to win Chris a stuffed bear by tossing a football through a hoop. He gave up after five tries. At which point, Chris proved to New Jersey voters that he has what it takes to be governor by successfully tossing one through a hole as big as himself.

What I’m trying to figure out is why Obama doesn’t conceal his athletic ineptitude the way he does his college application, his grades and the role that Valerie Jarrett, aka Cruella De Vil, plays in his administration. I mean, this is a narcissist and egotist of record proportion, and yet he’s let us see how badly he shoots basketballs, tosses footballs and throws baseballs. He has even admitted that he bowls in the 30s. I can only assume that it’s his way of trying to tie up that enormous bloc of voters who have secretly resented jocks ever since they failed to get a date to their high school prom.

Some pods even manage to become judges. Down in Florida, Judge Debra Nelson has ruled that George Zimmerman’s attorney won’t be allowed to mention that Trayvon Martin had a record of violence, drug use and school suspensions. Somehow, I would think all of those things would be relevant in a case where the defendant claims he was fighting for his life, and where the media has insisted on using Martin’s baby pictures in their coverage of the case.

One of the most annoying things about having to share the planet with liberals is that they are so willing to lie, cheat and even make fools of themselves in pursuit of their agenda. I first became aware of this inclination several years ago when I was reading a book review in the New Yorker. Although the book in question had nothing to do with politics, I suddenly came across a paragraph in which the reviewer let us know that George W. Bush was a numbskull. It was so clumsy and so inappropriate that I actually thought it was one of those typographical glitches that sometimes take place when a section from one article somehow winds up in another.

But when I pointed it out to my wife, she said that even women’s magazines were insulting Bush in the course of articles allegedly devoted to fashion, architecture and entertainment.

I finally had my fill of this crap and wrote the following letter to novelist Paul Auster: “A few years ago, Woody Allen produced a pretty good movie titled ‘Midnight in Paris.’ It could have been even better if he had been able to resist sticking some unfunny, out-of-character, lines in the mouth of his hero, an apolitical fellow portrayed by Owen Wilson who, a couple of times, apropos of absolutely nothing happening on screen, insults conservatives.

“I just finished reading your novel ‘The Brooklyn Follies,’ and had a similar reaction. Your Nathan Glass is a wise and tolerant man who has good things to say about all kinds of people, and remains tolerant of all sorts of human failings throughout the novel…except when it comes to conservatives.

“Mr. Glass, so far as we can tell, doesn’t even vote. He certainly doesn’t do anything to help his beloved Democrats get elected. He doesn’t even stuff envelopes or make phone calls, but he’s quite willing to dismiss all conservatives as racists and fascists, and to hold George Bush in the sort of contempt most normal people reserve for the likes of Hitler, Stalin and Mao.

“You are entitled to hold whatever cockeyed beliefs you like, but you can’t tar half of your fellow Americans as scumbags and not, in turn, deserve to be labeled a narrow-minded bigot. And what’s more, you can’t put those beliefs in the mind and the mouth of your protagonist and not be written off as a hack.

Sincerely, Burt Prelutsky”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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