Friday, August 2, 2013


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by Burt Prelutsky

With ObamaCare so much in the news lately, we should all keep in mind that Nancy Pelosi told us that the Affordable Care Act, as it was originally called, would have to be passed before we’d know what was in it. A lot of people thought she was kidding. I wasn’t one of them. For one thing, she isn’t even as funny as Harry Reid. For another, there are a lot of nutty people in Congress, but not one of them is crazy enough to sit down and read a 2,000 page piece of legislation.

While it’s true that L. Ron Hubbard’s “Mission Earth” is even longer, at least it had something of a plot. ObamaCare, on the other hand, was a plot, conceived as a way to take over a sixth of our economy, thus redistributing wealth, and turning us into Greece.

Frankly, I can’t help taking some satisfaction in seeing some of its most passionate supporters belatedly coming to their senses. First it was the Catholic Church that thought the bill was hunky dory until the hierarchy discovered that coverage for contraception was mandated for Church employees. The unions also helped Obama shove this monstrosity down our throats. But imagine their surprise when they found out that employers were not only firing workers, but cutting hours in order to avoid the more onerous aspects of the law.

When things like this happen, even the non-religious have no choice but to accept Intelligent Design by a Creator with a wicked sense of humor as a very real possibility.

Speaking of unintended consequences, conservative parents keep sending their children off to public schools and universities and are then flabbergasted when their offspring turn into socialist swine and vote overwhelmingly for left-wingers.

One of my readers, a guy named Dick, who makes his home in Chicago, wrote to say: “In the madrassas, the mullahs fill the poor nits with medieval hogwash. Is it any different in the U.S.? I think not, except that our brand of hogwash is post-modern.”

In the wake of George Zimmerman’s acquittal, I think that, instead of calling for his lynching, the NAACP should be throwing a testimonial dinner for him. After all, there aren’t a lot of Latinos in their 20s who have spent time mentoring young blacks. For that matter, there aren’t a lot of black men in their 20s, 30s or 40s, mentoring black kids or bothering to raise them.

One thing about the evening of the shooting down in Sanford had mystified me from the beginning. It was a dark and rainy night, and yet Trayvon Martin had trekked out, not even wearing a raincoat, to get a soft drink and a bag of Skittles. Outside of a TV commercial, I simply couldn’t picture anyone getting soaked for Skittles.

Only lately have I heard of a concoction called lean. Its ingredients are a sweet drink, candy and codeine, and apparently Trayvon had a taste for it. Those who indulge are said to be Skittling, for obvious reasons, or Robo-Tripping, thanks to the codeine found in Robitussin.

When 100 milligrams of Codeine are in the mixture, the user is mildly stimulated. Between 200-300 mg, euphoria kicks in, and hallucinations are common. Over 400 mg, motor control is lost, and over 500 mg, dissociative sedation kicks in. In short, it’s an addictive drug, and its appeal is that it’s cheap.

In the wake of the verdict, it came as no surprise that the professional racists in and out of the NAACP would encourage punks to go out and do what they do best: vandalize and terrorize to their heart’s content. Under the media-provided cover of political dissent, the children of the barbarians who burned down L.A. back in the days when Rodney King was the excuse du jour wreaked their own havoc in cities across the nation.

I understand that cops don’t want to be compared to the rednecks in the old days who enforced Jim Crow laws, but just maybe urban thugs wouldn’t be quite so anxious to act out if the police weren’t so reluctant to use fire hoses and rubber bullets to deal with them. After all, 2013 isn’t 1963, and Al Sharpton isn’t Martin Luther King, and L.A. isn’t Birmingham, and Trayvon Martin isn’t Emmett Till.

And the sooner that the media stops pretending that race hustlers like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, Eric Holder and Barack Obama, are moral authorities, and begin holding them responsible for the abyss between the races that grows wider every day, the better off America will be.

A good place to start is by having that honest dialogue that Attorney General Holder said we whites were too cowardly to have. For openers, we could point out that 90% of black voters troop out like Pavlov’s dogs every election day to support the Party that gave us such pillars of the Civil Rights movement as James Eastland, Theodore Bilbo, George Wallace, Orval Faubus, Albert Gore and Theophilus “Bull” Connor. Another thing worth mentioning is that all those blacks who adopt names such as Abu and Mohammad are too dumb to realize they’re paying homage to the Arabs and Muslims who went into the jungle and rounded up their ancestors for transport to southern plantations.

The sad fact remains that if those African natives had been anything like most of their modern descendants, all it would have taken to lure them onto the slave ships would have been food stamps, free cell phones and, perhaps, a lifetime supply of lean.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

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