Wednesday, January 30, 2013

SOME REALLY INCONVENIENT TRUTHS

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

Barack Obama would like you to believe that it’s white guys with assault weapons and NRA memberships that commit most of the murders in this country. But the truth, and he knows it, is that although whites comprise 67% of the population, Hispanics 16% and blacks, just 13%, blacks are responsible for roughly half the murders in America. The murder rate among blacks is eight times as high as among whites. Sadly, it is one area in which they truly overachieve.

But do you ever hear Obama, Biden, Bloomberg, Feinstein or Cuomo, mention it? Of course not. They would rather grab headlines by running their mouths off about guns with large magazines instead of urban punks with a lot of attitude, but no brains and even less compassion.

If we ever wanted to get serious about gun violence, we would send the military into places a lot more violent than the Middle East. I refer to Chicago, L.A., Philadelphia, Detroit and Houston. But even Bill Clinton, “the first black president,” had to retreat from dealing with the black gangs in Somalia when he realized how badly it would play on CNN. It’s one thing to be seen playing Lady Bountiful with other people’s money in Haiti and quite another to deal with blacks the same way one would if they were white Croatians.

Frankly, what people do with their own money is their own business, but why an American would bother sending dough to Haiti when our physically and mentally wounded war veterans are going begging is beyond me. But I also can’t begin to fathom why, at the same time we are going down the fiscal drain, we keep sending billions of dollars to the likes of Egypt, Russia, Jordan, the Sudan, Pakistan Iraq and to terrorist groups in Gaza. And why on earth are we sending hundreds of millions of dollars to Mexico when they not only refuse to shut down their side of the border, but recently arrested and imprisoned an ex-U.S. Marine on trumped-up gun charges, and then ignored repeated calls from the State Department. They simply refused to spring the poor guy until Bill O’Reilly threatened to put a big hurt on Mexico’s tourist industry. One has to suspect that if, instead of coddling the Mexican goons, Obama or Mrs. Clinton had threatened to cut off their annual bribe, it would have taken Mexico about four seconds to release Jon Hammar, not four months.

Getting back to guns for a minute, the number of accidental gun deaths in America averages around 1,500-a-year. The number of accidental deaths caused by physicians and hospitals is over 120,000. I leave it to you to decide which poses the greater danger, guns or healthcare providers.

I do think the NRA has gone about fighting those who would revoke the Second Amendment pretty much the same stupid way the U.S. has waged every war since 1945 – as if it were being conducted by the Three Stooges.

Traditionally, the NRA contributes a ton of money to politicians who support them and perhaps even more to defeating those who oppose them. Well, I happen to think the NRA is wasting its money by ignoring the PR battle it should be waging and winning. Instead of funding individual campaigns, they should be more concerned with public opinion. They should be running TV commercials featuring the actual men and women who have used guns to defend themselves and their families from violent criminals.

The way things are now, the other side simply waits for the next massacre. Then they troop out the survivors – people like James Brady or Gabby Giffords or the parents of the Newtown kids – and, thus, they inevitably win the battle on emotional, if not Constitutional, grounds.

But if the NRA would simply wise up, we would soon begin seeing the gun-toting mothers and fathers on TV, the folks you never even hear about in the national media. They’re the folks who didn’t just wait around for the cops to draw chalk outlines of their dead bodies on the kitchen floor, but, instead, put their guns to the use for which they were bought and paid for.

Once they’ve won the hearts and minds of the American public, the NRA won’t have to worry so much about whether the right person gets elected; the public will see to it.

Although God knows we already have too many laws on the books, one I would like to see enacted is that nobody who is injured or killed during the commission of a felony is entitled to sue. That would of course preclude his relatives from suing his intended victims. Think of it as an extension of the Good Samaritan Law.

Speaking of legislation, the 2011 Former Presidents Act provides Carter, Clinton and the two Bushes, with a $3.7 million slush fund. The idea that our tax dollars are paying anything towards the upkeep of these millionaires is revolting. It doesn’t get any better when you discover that Clinton uses a portion of this windfall to connect 10 TVs in his office to DirecTV. It doesn’t seem like a stretch to imagine that he’s regularly tuned in to “Busty Coeds Vs. Lusty Cheerleaders,” “Sex Games Cancun: The Last Temptation of Hank” and “Hotel Erotica.”

For a while, I figured it was a toss-up when it came to the most disgusting athlete in America. One day, being a baseball fan, I would think that it came down to Roger Clemons, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa or Mark McGwire. But then I’d see a list of all the illegitimate children sired by the over-paid goons who populate the NBA, and they’d fast break into the lead. But I kept overlooking Lance Armstrong. That was probably because the notion of considering a bike rider an athlete goes against everything Americans hold dear. It’s no accident that he had to go to France to get anyone’s attention in the first place. Leave it to the French to get excited about a sport even duller and sillier than soccer.

In the good old days, when it was time to atone, people paid a visit to their priest or minister, or at least showed up at an AA meeting. Now they confess all to Oprah. Of course in Armstrong’s case, he was less concerned with his soul than he was with his brand. Sponsors, a notoriously touchy bunch, don’t usually want their product associated with a cheat and a liar, especially one who has spent the past decade viciously slandering anybody who dared question his integrity.

The real mystery to me is how anyone, particularly a schmuck with the looks and personality of an embalmer, could get that rich and famous riding a damn bicycle.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Monday, January 28, 2013

GUNS & GOONS

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

One way you can usually tell that liberals are merely grandstanding is when you find Joe Biden heading up a task force to look into the issue. That doesn’t mean that the self-righteous pinheads on the Left don’t wish that Obama could use his magic wand and make all the guns, along with the Second Amendment, simply disappear. That is to say, all the guns except those in the hands of men whose job it is to protect politicians and Hollywood prima donnas.

In case you missed it, Obama is so opposed to guns that he recently signed a bill that nullifies earlier legislation that offered an ex-president and his family Secret Service protection for only 10 years after vacating the White House. The Obamas, along with George and Laura Bush, will now be protected for life. I’m sure the Bushes were only included so that Obama could claim he was being bi-partisan. I suppose you’d really have to be a politician, one of those hypocrites who are forever referring to themselves as “public servants,” to imagine that your life is more deserving of protection than the folks whom you’ve sworn to serve.

My friend Mark Alexander, publisher of the Patriot Post, the most widely subscribed grassroots journal in the nation, not only saw red, but red, white and blue, when Joe Biden suggested that Obama could employ a presidential fiat to implement gun control measures. Mr. Alexander threw down the gauntlet by stating in terms reminiscent of those uttered so often by our Founding Fathers: “In keeping with the oath I have taken in the service of my country, I will ‘support and defend’ Liberty as ‘endowed by our Creator and enshrined in our Constitution, ‘against all enemies, foreign and domestic.’ Accordingly, I will not comply with any defensive weapons ban instituted by executive order, legislative action or judicial dictate, which violates the innate human right to defend self and Liberty, as empowered by ‘the right of the People to keep and bear arms.’

He went on: “What does this mean? It means I will neither register with, nor surrender to the government, any weapon in my possession, to include lawfully acquired weapons for the lawful purposes of defending myself and family, my home and property, and most importantly, for defense of Liberty in accordance with the Second Amendment.”

That’s the way Americans used to speak, as those of us who grew up reading American history books before the PC crowd revamped textbooks so that they demeaned the likes of Jefferson, Adams and Patrick Henry and denied that the foundation of our country was built on Judeo-Christian values. Instead, the dunderheads running public education today prefer promoting alternate life styles, pretending that the First Amendment calls for “separation of church and state” and playing up the nonexistent role that Muslims had in the creation of America.

Although I believe that there are enough patriots in this country who stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Mr. Alexander to prevent this administration from confiscating constitutionally-protected weapons, I must hasten to add that I was also sure that Mitt Romney was going to defeat Obama.

The trouble with Obama and his stooges in Congress, in the media and on college campuses, is that, as Thomas Sowell said of intellectuals, “The more I study them, the more they seem like a wrecking crew, dismantling civilization bit by bit, replacing what works with what sounds good.”

Well, of course, that’s really only one of the troubles with Obama. But if you listen to the corn dogs on the Left, his cover-up of the Benghazi massacre, his ruination of America’s economy and his dividing the nation along class, race and gender lines, are mere trifles; what really galls them is that he wants to appoint a bunch of white guys to his Cabinet. At times, I swear, places like Afghanistan and Pakistan seem less like backward tribal nations than our own. Does anyone actually think that John Kerry will be worse than Hillary Clinton or that Chuck Hagel would be a better Secretary of Defense if he were black, Jewish or named Charlene?

The real problem is that the Vice President is the only person who should serve as an echo chamber for the Commander-in-Chief, no matter who’s residing in the Oval Office. All Cabinet members should be independent in their thinking so that the President has the benefit of their honest analysis. Unfortunately, it’s obvious that Obama is only comfortable being surrounded by “Yes” men and, for that matter, by “Yes” women, although not in the sense that Bill Clinton was.

One of my readers, who had grown as weary as I have of listening to the left-wing weasels who are always insisting that law-abiding citizens don’t need to own guns in order to protect their homes and families because that’s what the police are for, sent me this pungent observation: “When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.”

Finally, someone else sent me a photo of a strange-looking instrument and asked me if I could identify it. I couldn’t. It turned out to be a combination of a bellows and a tube that was widely used in the 18th century. The purpose of the contraption was to help in the resuscitation of drowning victims by forcing tobacco fumes into their rectums.

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the smoke enemas ultimately led to the popular phrase “blow smoke up someone’s ass.”

Although it fell out of favor two centuries ago, it has not only been rediscovered by the Democrats in Washington, D.C., but Pelosi and Reid are insisting that it be mass-produced as an essential part of ObamaCare.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Friday, January 25, 2013

HE SAID, I SAID

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

Every day, I respond to email I receive from my readers. Most of it is positive, which I appreciate, but would probably be of little or no interest to anyone but me. Some of it is negative, consisting solely of insults, and is, likewise, of little interest to anyone, including me.

However, every once in a while, I hear from someone who actually addresses issues I’ve raised, and there is always the chance that such readers are raising points that other people would like to have addressed.

It is for that reason that I am sharing the following exchange. I don’t know who the person is or even if it’s a man or woman, but for our purposes, it really doesn’t matter. In response to a recent article titled What’s Meant When Liberals Say ‘Compromise,’ it began: “I find myself a bit confused by this article. Though the headline implies a rather tight focus, you cover fiscal cliff negotiations, guns, welfare, the ACLU, felons, and -- for good measure – a brief review of a film that has nothing to do with compromise.”

I replied: “I try to cover a lot of topics in every article. Therefore, titling a piece is rather difficult. But at least part of the article dealt with compromise. Consider everything else a bonus.”

“The ‘nitwits’ on the left may be off-base on a great many things,” the person went on. “Unfortunately, you are wrong in asserting that the final deal was not a compromise in their eyes. It may not have been as much of a compromise as you would have found satisfying, but a $400,000 threshold is not the same as $200,000. Nor is a 40% estate tax a 45% estate tax (the original number desired by Democrats). You can say you don’t like the deal or that Democrats didn’t cooperate enough, but you can’t factually say there was no compromise.”

I replied: “If one side is totally opposed to raising taxes and the other side changes its numbers around, that’s not my idea of a compromise. What you suggest is like saying that one side, for example, was in favor of invading Iraq and the other side opposed it, so the compromise would have been to invade Ireland.”

“Additionally,” the lecturer went on, “ you are drastically simplifying the reality of welfare in America. Since I work in community development, perhaps I can clear some things up. Generally speaking, any sort of public assistance comes with strings attached: with welfare, it is often employment or an effort to find something therein (in addition to income thresholds that you would find completely unlivable were you made to live at or below them). There is also a lifetime cap on the welfare assistance that any one family can receive. Additionally, those in poverty and on public assistance are not homogenous as you seem to assume. There are many Republicans on public assistance, including welfare.”

“Of course,” I responded, “it goes without saying that everyone on welfare is not identical to everyone else. But when dealing with several million people, one has to generalize in order to make a point. But what is this lifetime cap you refer to? If there were such a thing, you wouldn’t see generations of families collecting welfare. Obama even decided to scrap Clinton’s work programs because the mere notion of requiring anything of welfare recipients was regarded as heartless.”

“The problem with the conservative ideology is not that it’s wrong, but that it’s only right for those people like you. Unfortunately, many Republicans haven’t left their bubble of privilege long enough (if at all) to understand the reality of living outside it. Those who have made something out of nothing tend to believe similar opportunities exist for everyone in poverty; unfortunately, the reality is that life in poverty is a game of chance, much more so than a life of security. I guarantee you there are people you believe to be unproductive who work much harder than you do for significantly less money.”

“The only thing wrong with conservative ideology is that people like you and those who are, say, the third or fourth generation of their family on the public dole don’t accept it. How does someone who works much harder and for less money than you presume I do wind up on welfare for any length of time? Even a minimum wage job would gross someone about $16,000-a-year, and there are precious few jobs that only pay a minimum wage. On top of that, if people get a high school diploma, avoid getting hooked on drugs and refrain from having kids until they’re married and can afford to raise them, they are pretty much guaranteed a welfare-free life. And, frankly, that doesn’t strike me as too much to ask of anyone.”

My critic went on: “Liberal ideology doesn’t work for everyone either. I do believe, however, that those making over $450,000 can easily contribute more of their salary without ending up anywhere near the desperation and suffering that comes with living at welfare-eligible income levels. Before you rail on about personal responsibility, let me direct you to the previous paragraphs where I explain that welfare is not given freely to anyone who wants it, not even those in poverty.”

I replied, “You have no idea how easily people earning $450,000-a-year can contribute. You also don’t know what sacrifices they made in order to achieve that level of success. That sounds like a lot of money to you and me, but if the family has children in college and perhaps aging, ailing, parents who require help, maybe it’s not so much. Besides, you’re not speaking about ‘contributions.’ If you were, we would be discussing charity. And as you probably know, conservatives donate far more money, as well as time, to charities than liberals do. Instead, you’re referring to money confiscated by the government in order to carry out Obama’s oft-stated desire to redistribute wealth. On top of that, the wealthy are already paying more than their ‘fair share’ because we have a progressive income tax. Frankly, I would say that it is the low-earners who are not paying their fair share. It is my conviction that everyone should have some skin in the game. For, as Obama would say, if only he weren’t a left-wing gasbag, they, too, use America’s streets and bridges. At the risk of being labeled a stony-hearted Republican, the idea that people who pay nothing and yet get to vote for those who get to decide what everyone else has to pay is immoral, not to mention loony.”

“I agree with you on guns and unions,” my critic said in his/her summation, “but unfortunately I can’t comment on your stint as a film critic because I haven’t seen ‘Zero Dark Thirty.’ Your problem is not that you’re wrong. It’s that you seem to be ignorant. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this from the Right on this topic. Utilizing common tropes and stereotypes as you did above, one is able to dehumanize the poor and call for cuts to programs that benefit many hard-working people with a great deal of potential.”

“How is it,” I asked, “that we have lived in a welfare state for decades now, have funded Head Start, promoted Affirmative Action, spent trillions of dollars on welfare, expanded food stamps to include roughly 15% of us, and provided people such as yourself and Barack Obama with a living in a nebulous field known as ‘community development,’ and have yet to see any positive results? In fact, even after all of Obama’s efforts in Chicago and as president, what good has any of it done? Chicago is even worse off than it was 30 years ago, and so is America. We have an actual 11% rate of unemployment, a $16.4 trillion debt, a lower credit rating, a depleted military, a devalued dollar, soaring inflation and an additional 15 million Americans on food stamps. My suggestion is that you worry about those people, most of whom seem determined through their irresponsible life decisions to remain poor, and I will worry about those of us who are being compelled to support them.

“In conclusion, let me just say that you could be right that one of us is ignorant, but I’ll leave it to others to decide which one of us it is. Regards, Burt Prelutsky. p.s. I grant that it could well be me. After all, of the two of us, I’m not the one drawing a government salary.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

ENLISTING IN THE WAR ON LIBERALISM

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

Even back in the 1960s when I was in my 20s and a registered Democrat, I refused to call myself a liberal. To me, liberals were those of my fellow collegians who dodged the draft and pretended it was character and not cowardice that sent them north to Canada or those others who evaded service through deferments and medical fraud, but got to display their moral superiority by spitting on returning veterans.

Even that long ago, I couldn’t quite decide if it was their lack of spine or their hypocrisy that I found more reprehensible.

On top of everything else, it didn’t help that I hated their music, their movies, their fads, their lack of personal hygiene and their infantile slogans.

It never occurred to me that 50 years later, they and their goofy offspring would be America’s school teachers, professors, journalists, judges, union leaders and politicians, and that they’d still be mucking up the works.

On CNN, on New Year’s Eve, viewers got to watch Kathy Griffin ring in 2013 by repeatedly kissing Anderson Cooper’s crotch. Lest anyone think that Mr. Cooper was the innocent victim of a desperate aging comedienne, a few days later, he invited her to appear on his own show.

One of the things I hate the most about comics who depend on shock, as opposed to wit, be they Kathy Griffin or Lenny Bruce, isn’t that they’re simply not funny, but that if you suggest that they’d be well-advised to pursue vocational guidance, they and their slavish fans get to accuse you of prudery. And in our dippy world, it is often far less damaging to one’s reputation to be a known drug addict or pederast than to be called a square.

But anyone who thinks it’s funny to watch a woman in her 50s pretending to be engaging in oral sex with a gay man on television is the sort of knucklehead who probably relishes every second of the annual 24-hour retrospective devoted to the artistry of The Three Stooges.

I assume that if CNN’s ringing in of the New Year got large ratings anywhere, it was probably in San Francisco. That’s the place where the City Council only recently got around to banning public nudity, and did so based on the singular grounds that it wasn’t sanitary. Only in the modern Sodom would walking around without covering your anus and your genitals be equated with coughing without covering your mouth.

In the run-up to the Fiscal Cliff vote, Harry Reid accused John Boehner of running the House like a dictator. Kathy Griffin should pay heed because that’s the sort of material that most normal people think is hilarious. Imagine, the man who has spent four years refusing to allow his 99 colleagues to vote on a federal budget has the unmitigated gall to accuse the Speaker of the House of being high-handed. When it comes to pots calling kettles names, we haven’t seen anything like it since Hitler told Mussolini to lighten up.

Obama has vowed to make gun control a major part of his 2013 agenda. In fact, he promises to get to it just as soon as he shortens the length of fairways through presidential fiat.

I, myself, would suggest that colleges begin conducting classes in hypocrisy, starting with people who never show their faces in public without being protected by several heavily-armed men insisting that the rest of us not be trusted anywhere near guns. If attacking the Second Amendment was punishable in a court of law, every limousine liberal from Dianne Feinstein and Michael Bloomberg to Jamie Foxx and Sarah Jessica Parker, would be found guilty of overkill in the first degree.

Left-wingers are quick to blame guns, gun manufacturers and gun sellers, whenever a loony tune goes berserk and shoots up a mall, a school or a movie theater, but when a guy like William Spengler, after bludgeoning his grandmother to death, is free to murder two firemen 30 years down the road, I don’t ever hear them condemning those lawyers, judges and parole boards, who played a role in getting him released from prison. Is it possible the reason might be that lawyers, judges and members of parole boards, are, more often than not, liberals like themselves?

Until reading Bernie Goldberg’s column on the subject, I had been unaware that Al Gore and his business partners not only refused to sell their failing TV network, Current, to Glenn Beck, but then turned around and sold it to Al Jazeera, the Arab TV network owned by the government of Qatar. Not only does the deal make one question Gore’s bona fides as a dedicated foe of carbon emissions, but it shows that in his heart he holds oil sheiks in higher regard than American conservatives.

Still, it turns out that there was one line in the oil-soaked sand that Gore refused to cross. He absolutely insisted that the deal be consummated prior to taxes rising from 36% to 39.6% on the top two percent of wealthy Americans.

But is anyone terribly surprised that when the world’s biggest gasbag insisted that it was imperative that taxes be raised on the stinking swine that had the effrontery to be rich, he meant all the pigs in the sty except those who happened to be named Al Gore?
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Monday, January 21, 2013

THE LANGUAGE OF WEASELS

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
North Hills, CA 91343-3604.

Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA. A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

Some group or other recently voted on words and terms they would like to see banished in 2013. The top five vote-getters were “trending,” “spoiler alert,” “superfood,” “guru” and, predictably, “fiscal cliff.” I must confess that I had not been overly aware of “guru” in 2012 and had not heard a single reference to “superfood,” which would explain why I have no idea what it means. And while I think that pepperoni pizza fits the description, I have a hunch that whatever TV chef was tossing the term around willy-nilly doesn’t. I’m guessing it will turn out to be some overpriced item like truffles, which nobody would have the slightest interest in if it sold for a dollar-a-pound and didn’t require trained pigs to dig it up.

As you might have guessed, I have my own list. I would do away with “distinguished” when referring to a politician. And I mean any politician. So far as I’m concerned, the word is employed far too often and applied far too generously to people who do nothing more than vote for a living. In a sane world, it would only be applied to military heroes, firemen and conservative columnists, especially those residing in such left-wing bastions as California.

I would also do away with the word “revenue.” West of the Potomac, the correct word is “taxes.” But politicians, especially one named Obama, realizing that there are four-letter words that have greater acceptance in polite society than that five-letter obscenity, have found it safer to say they merely want to raise revenue. Unless I miss my guess, even that seemingly benign word will disappear, as more and more people catch on, and be replaced by one that from early childhood we have all come to love. Therefore, I suspect that in 2013, we will hear liberals insisting that it’s our patriotic duty to send “gifts” to the federal government on April 15th.

Another word I like to see go the way of the dodo is “unions.” Although my particular bugaboo is public sector unions, it recently came to my attention how dangerous private sector unions are to society. In December, we came very close to the nation’s longshoremen shutting down 14 major ports on the Atlantic and Gulf coasts. For all intents and purposes, 14,000 dock workers could have shut down our economy, as if Obama and his stooges in Congress need any help in that area. At this point, we’re enjoying a one month moratorium, but the strike could still take place before the end of January.

I don’t know what the cargo handlers are asking for, but I’m betting that the answer is to be found in the immortal words of Samuel Gompers, the founder of the American Federation of Labor, who, when asked what labor wants, answered, “We want more, and when it becomes more, we shall still want more and we shall never cease to demand more.”

The man who led the AFL for half of his 74 years also said, “It is impossible for capitalism and labor to have common interests.” The proof of that particular pudding can be seen in the recent demise of Hostess Brands, Inc. At the cost of 18,500 jobs, the union had the satisfaction of bringing the maker of Twinkies, Wonder Bread and America’s favorite cupcakes, to its knees and then putting a bullet in its head. Come to think of it, perhaps “superfood” was a reference to Hostess’s line of bakery products.

I used to believe that perhaps the most ignominious title one could cart around was New York Times editorial writer, MSNBC host or Nobel Peace Prize recipient, but by now I have to regard Secretary of State as a strong contender. After all, in just the past 30-odd years, we’ve had the likes of Ed Muskie, Alexander Haig, Madeleine Albright, Colin Powell, Hillary Clinton and, presumably, John Kerry, serving as the guiding lights of our foreign policy. Let’s face it -- that’s a group you wouldn’t trust to babysit your cat.

Frankly, the notion that Secretary Clinton appears to once again be first in line to run for the presidency in 2016 fills me with angst, which is a ten dollar word for nausea. We have all grown accustomed to women being held in high regard for no better reason than they got some fellow to marry them. The politically incorrect list includes everyone from Coretta King and Winnie Mandella to Imelda Marcos, Madame Nhu, Evita Peron and Michelle Obama. But nobody ever seriously referred to any of them as the smartest person in the world.

But aside from marrying Bill, Hillary’s not so distinguished resume consists in having been a corrupt lawyer in Arkansas, a mediocre senator from New York and the Secretary of State who oversaw the murder of her ambassador to Libya and three other gallant Americans, and then mimicked the three monkeys in the shameful aftermath.

Other than that, so far as I can see, her only notable accomplishment consists in having done for pants suits what Muammar Gaddafi did for movie usher uniforms.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Friday, January 18, 2013

WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

We all know that whenever liberal politicians start insisting that guns are evil, it’s for the same reason that stage magicians employ patter, top hats and silk capes. It’s done in order to distract us. At present, Obama would like us to ignore the fact that thanks to the end of the payroll tax holiday and ObamaCare everyone’s taxes have shot up. That’s not to say the liberals wouldn’t love to disarm us and make the Second Amendment null and void. But even they know that’s not going to happen. If they were serious about reducing gun violence, they’d quit yapping about guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens, and go after the people who use them not for hunting or for defending their homes and families, but to murder.

I’m referring to the black and Hispanic gangs that terrorize inner cities. Rahm Emanuel, the mayor of Chicago, the city in which 506 murders were committed in 2012 – only a handful as the result of assault weapons – doesn’t declare war on the punks responsible for spilling most of that blood. Instead, he demands that the city divest itself of any investments it might have in gun manufacturing firms. Displaying the wisdom for which big city mayors are renowned, he not only does nothing to diminish violent crime in his locale, but he makes certain that the city fails to profit financially from the only growth industry that exists in Obama’s America.

In fact, I think it’s fair to suggest that Benghazi was Obama’s and Mrs. Clinton’s idea of a gun-free zone.

When every massacre from Columbine to Newtown has taken place where firearms are banned, you would think that even liberals could get their pointy heads around the fact that just as outlawing guns guarantees that only outlaws will be armed, gun-free zones promise would-be killers that they have nothing to fear. They might as well post signs for the convenience of armed psychos that read: “You are now entering the Happy Hunting Grounds. Be a responsible killer and pick up your spent shells before you leave the park.”

Inasmuch as cars and booze are responsible for far more deaths than guns, why don’t the various municipalities initiate buy-back programs offering cash and concert tickets for ’94 Chevys and unopened six-packs? I happen to have a half bottle of Manischewitz Concord Grape I’d be willing to trade in for a pair of argyle socks.

As you’ve probably heard, a New York rag called the Journal News published a list with the names and addresses of registered gun owners in the area. The reaction of decent, law-abiding people was so overwhelming that the newspaper hired people with guns to protect its offices.

When someone suggested that the names and addresses of the self-righteous loons who own or work for the Journal should be circulated, Bill O’Reilly, who occasionally mistakes himself for an archbishop, sermonized against it, on the grounds that two wrongs don’t make a right. What unmitigated crapola! The members of the mainstream media, like the left-wing politicians they adore, assume that they can act with impunity, putting the lives and safety of others in jeopardy, while wrapping the First Amendment around themselves whenever it suits their fancy. Although they never think twice about defaming conservatives, they feel themselves impervious to the consequences of their words and actions.

If it were up to me, I’d not only print their names and addresses, I’d run their photos to increase the chances of their being vilified whenever they appeared in public. In my circle, we call it giving them a taste of their own medicine.

Some people, in attempting to show how wrong the Journal News was, suggested that what they did was akin to printing the names and addresses of those collecting food stamps. Well, frankly, I think that’s a swell idea. I’d love to know if I’m helping to put food on my neighbor’s table. It’s one thing, after all, if people want to pay for their own guns and ammo, and quite another if I have to pay through the nose for someone else’s dinner. Especially if I happen to notice that he’s driving a newer and nicer car than I am.

What’s more, I think welfare recipients should have to write thank-you notes. Not to me, you understand, but to society at large. Once people think they are actually entitled to live off the labor of others and not even have to express gratitude, we’re telling grown-ups that it’s quite okay to behave like spoiled teenagers.

Getting back to O’Reilly, I’m getting a little tired of hearing how he hosts the number one show on Fox. If that’s really the case, it’s because he has the number one time slot on the number one network. It so happens that I record everything I plan to watch on TV. When it comes to “The Factor,” it allows me to not only fast-forward through those commercials with Fred Thompson, but through any segment featuring left-wing half-wits. In fact, I only pause if I spot Brit Hume, Carl Cameron, James Rosen, Charles Krauthammer or Bernie Goldberg.

To me, the notion of tuning in to watch and listen to O’Reilly is as absurd as it would have been to tune in to watch the “Ed Sullivan Show” in order to see Ed Sullivan. Come to think of it, what O’Reilly could use would be more Senor Wences, Jackie Mason and the HarmoniCats, and less Alan Colmes, Bob Beckel, Geraldo Rivera and Juan Williams. In fact, I’d never have any of those twits on unless they first learned to juggle.

Speaking of twits, Colin Powell, who owes nearly as much to Affirmative Action as the Obamas do, claims that the GOP is having an identity problem. He also says that elements of the Party are racist and that it has shifted significantly to the Right, which has led to its losing the last two presidential elections.

For reasons of his own, Mr. Powell has chosen to overlook the fact that George W. Bush appointed two black Secretaries of State, he being one of them, whereas Barack Obama appointed a pair of Caucasians named Hillary Clinton and John Kerry. What’s more, only a nincompoop with an agenda would insist that John McCain and Mitt Romney are living proof that the GOP has been shifting to the far right.

Besides, if there’s anyone who has an identity problem, I’d say it’s a guy who keeps insisting that he’s a Republican, but has twice endorsed the most radical left-winger who has ever put his feet on the desk in the Oval Office.

Finally, although through his rhetoric and arrogant posturing, Obama seems to be suggesting that he received an overwhelming mandate from the American people, I have news for him. Starting with the election of 1860, every president who’s won two terms has garnered more votes the second time around. In 1864, Lincoln received 350,000 more votes than in his first election. In 1872, Grant received nearly 600,000 more votes than in 1868. Although Grover Cleveland lost his re-election in 1888, he got roughly 675,000 more votes in 1892 than he had in 1884.

McKinley received an additional 110,000 votes the second time around. Wilson jumped an astonishing 2,800,000 votes in 1916 by promising to keep us out of WWI. FDR picked up nearly five million votes in 1936. Eisenhower received an additional 1,600,000 votes against Stevenson the second time he clobbered him. Nixon went from 31,785,000 to a mind-boggling 46,740,000. But, then, I’d have probably done as well running against George McGovern.

Reagan added more than 10 million votes in ’84. Even Clinton picked up an extra 2,500,000 in 1996, and George W. Bush soared from 50,455,000 in 2000 to 61,837,000 in ’04.

You may notice a pattern. All 11 presidents increased their vote total by anywhere from approximately 100,000 to over 15,000,000. However, in 2012, Obama saw his numbers tumble from 69,498,000 to 62,611,000.

As mandates go, Obama’s is only slightly better than the one George Custer received at the Little Big Horn.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

ALCHEMY, AL GORE & AL JAZEERA

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

People who have blind faith in science would do well to recall that during the Middle Ages, a time not all that different from our own, especially in the Middle East, not to mention Chicago, Detroit and Hollywood, there were those who regarded alchemy to be a science. They were convinced that base metals such as lead could be magically turned into precious metals such as gold. In modern times, we find remnants of those earlier pinheads in left-wing circles, where it is widely accepted that a community organizer, by virtue of winning an election, can be transformed into a savior.

When I first heard that Obama and his stooges were demanding that gun magazines be made smaller, I naturally assumed they wanted the NRA monthly to be condensed. When I discovered they actually believed that the answer to violence in America was fewer bullets, I found myself wondering if they had put Michael Bloomberg, the idiot who thinks smaller soft drink containers is the answer to obesity, in charge of the crusade.

The irony of the situation is that, thanks to the perceived threat that this administration is apparently more concerned with confiscating our weapons than it is with denying Iran the ability to wage nuclear war, Obama has done more to increase gun sales than the NRA and Eric Holder’s Operation Fast and Furious put together.

Because I have zero tolerance for blather, if I were a senator I would vote against Chuck Hagel because when Obama nominated him to be Secretary of Defense, he said he wanted to advance global freedom, decency and humanity, as “we help to make a better world for all mankind,” and I would nix John Brennan, Obama’s nominee to head up the CIA, because, on the same occasion, he said he wanted to make sure that” the CIA always reflected the liberties, the freedoms and the values we hold so dear.” I don’t want the guys heading up those two offices sounding like mushy-mouthed social workers. I realize they can’t help how they look, but I want them to at least try to sound like John Wayne, vowing to destroy anyone who gets between his thirsty cattle and the nearest water hole.

Frankly, I haven’t heard such unmitigated hooey since the 11th grade when Seymour Schwartz promised to bring about an era of world peace if only we’d elect him class president.

Recently, I sent an email to Sen. Lindsey Graham. It was one of those rare occasions when I was praising a politician. I was commending him for refusing to allow Obama and his stooges in the media to sweep the Benghazi massacre under the carpet. But instead of a polite acknowledgment, I received an email informing me that due to the volume of email he receives, he is only able to respond to inquiries from South Carolinians.

In response, I wrote: “I really do think that you and other senators should be open to comments from out-of-staters inasmuch as your decisions affect us all. In this instance, I was complimenting you. But even if I had been taking you to task, I deserved the right to make my feelings known. God knows I can’t expect a reasonable response from my own senators, Boxer and Feinstein. But I should be able to contact any one of you hundred “public servants.” It’s not as if it’s only the taxes paid by South Carolinians that go to pay your salary and the salaries of your staff.”

It’s bad enough being stiffed by left-wingers without being shunted aside by conservatives. Is it any wonder that in a recent poll, members of Congress were deemed to be less popular than root canal, head lice, colonoscopies, cockroaches and France!

But even Congress is more popular these days than Al Gore. For the past decade, the human dirigible has been piling up money and honors, everything from Oscars to Nobel Prizes, by running around like a demented Chicken Little, screaming that not only is the sky falling, but that the oceans are rising, and all because of those evil fossil fuels. And then, after refusing to even entertain an offer from Glenn Beck, he turns around and peddles his TV network to Al Jazeera, the pro-terrorist media outfit owned by the oil sheiks of Qatar. It would be like Michelle Obama, after making all of us endure her silly crusade against baked goods, agreeing to do TV commercials for Twinkies and Ho-Hos.

Compared to all the money that the Democrats waste in other areas, the half billion dollars or so that they funnel to Planned Parenthood is a drop in the bucket. But for lying about their mission and pretending that the group is anything other than a massive abortion mill, they should be put out of business. In 2011, for instance, in spite of insisting that they offer prenatal services to the poor, they referred only 2,300 women to adoption agencies, while performing 334,000 abortions. But I guess in the wacky world of liberals, an abortion is regarded as a prenatal service.

In what might be regarded as related news, some outfit calling itself the National Father’s Day Council decided that Bill Clinton was Father of the Year. It will probably come as no surprise that the 2007 honoree was none other than John Edwards. But at least Mr. Edwards earned the title the old fashioned way, by impregnating his mistress while his wife was dying of cancer.

Rumor has it that Arnold Schwarzenegger, who certainly appeared to be the early odds-on favorite, is crying “Foul!” and demanding a recount.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Monday, January 14, 2013

INSANITY IS A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

You might even say that insanity is a growth industry. For example, the liberals are tripping all over themselves to pass new gun control legislation. To prove how sincere they are, they have put Joe Biden and Dianne Feinstein in charge. Joe Biden is so dumb that schools have renamed dunce caps in his honor, and Feinstein is such a political hack that even after swearing to get to the bottom of the national security leaks to the NY Times, once she realized the footprints led back to the Oval Office, she never again mentioned it.

Even people as stupid as Sen. Patty Murray and Mayor Michael Bloomberg know that federal bans on assault weapons were in place for 10 years starting in the mid-90s and did nothing to diminish gun violence. They also know that Illinois has very strict gun laws in place, and yet over 500 people were gunned down in the streets of Chicago in 2012, making it the murder capital of every locale this side of Syria.

If liberals were serious about guns, and not merely playing to the kneejerk biases of their clueless base, they would ask the National Rifle Association to provide volunteers to teach gun safety in our grade schools. For all the insults liberals hurl at the NRA, I’m willing to wager that very few, if any, of the mass killings that take place with regularity in America can be laid at the feet of its members.

What’s more, I would make an even bigger wager that the group would do a better job of teaching youngsters gun safety than the members of the teachers union do teaching the kids about safe sex. And if you care to compare the two, I would suggest that the 71% rate of illegitimate births in the black community and the 50% rate among Hispanics do far more lasting damage to society than guns.

Some people were amazed to discover that the four bureaucrats that were being scapegoated by the Obama administration over the Benghazi massacre were still on the State Department payroll. I wasn’t the least bit surprised. That’s because short of killing them, there would have been no way to guarantee that the four wouldn’t start ratting out the responsible parties.

If one wanted to fully understand how corrupt the media is, you merely have to see the way they have stood by while Obama has spent months playing Sir Lancelot to Susan Rice’s Lady Guinevere. He voices outrage that his Secretary to the U.N. has come in for so much criticism for going on five Sunday news shows after 9/11 and blaming the massacre on a video when she knew so little about what had actually taken place. The appropriate response to that would have been for someone at the NY Times or ABC to say, “In that case, Mr. President, why was it that you chose her to go out and lie about it?” But of course those people are too busy nodding on cue.

In a related matter, Hillary Clinton, who was the person primarily responsible for the safety of Ambassador Stevens and his gallant colleagues in Libya, has been unable to address Congress or the American people about what she knew, when she knew it and, most importantly, when she decided not to talk about it. First she had a virus, then she suffered what has been referred to as an immaculate concussion and, finally, a blood clot. Call me a cynic, but I have a feeling that if the numbskulls in Oslo had decided to present her with a Nobel Peace Prize, she would have somehow managed to crawl out of her sick bed and make it across the Atlantic to the awards ceremony.

The liberals in Washington are once again suggesting that the minimum wage be raised from $7.25 to $9.80. They do this periodically to show they have compassion, knowing that appearances are all that counts to their base. The fact that such raises inevitably lead to higher unemployment never registers. Because all these men and women with (D) after their names are convinced of their own compassion and because their supporters are all lunkheads, symbolism trumps reality.

The fact that employers will often decide that it’s not worth $400-a-week to have someone stock their shelves or sweep out the store never occurs to them. What’s important is that they’ll be able to sleep soundly and dream of sugar plum fairies re-electing them. They never bother facing the fact that high school kids and unskilled adults aren’t worth $9.80-an-hour, an amount congressmen think others should be compelled to pay even though they themselves never would.

Speaking of unskilled labor, Obama has ordered pay increases for all federal employees. If I think it’s absurd to pay someone $9.80-an-hour to sweep out a barbershop, you can imagine how I feel about Joe Biden getting a raise that hikes his salary from $225,521 to $231,900. Now that he’s already paid for the hair transplant and having his teeth whitewashed, I have no idea how the VP will be spending the extra $6,379.

Still, I suppose there’s some intrinsic value in the fact that Biden serves as a high-profile inspiration to America’s mentally challenged. After all, we already have a president who proves that anyone, and we mean absolutely anyone, no matter how arrogant and corrupt, can grow up to be president. In Biden, we have proof that anyone, and we mean absolutely anyone, no matter how vain and ignorant, can grow up to be that person’s second-in-command.
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Friday, January 11, 2013

PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION

Liberals: America’s TermitesThis is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn Street
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Your donation will serve as your entry in a monthly drawing to receive either an autographed copy of Barack Obama: You're Fired! or Liberals: America’s Termites. Please make your preference known when you make your donation.

The winner of December's drawing is Stephanie Hart of Redwood City, CA.  A copy of Liberals: America's Termites is on its way to the lucky lady.

by Burt Prelutsky

My title refers to the title of a popular song during World War II. Today, as we know, both pieces of advice are frowned upon in left-wing circles. The irony is that at the very same time that Obama and his favorite Munchkins are doing their level best to disarm Americans, the same crowd is gift-wrapping 20 F-16 fighter jets and sending them to the Muslim Brotherhood, the folks running the show in Egypt.
Music & Lyrics
by Frank Loesser

Now a sane person might wonder why liberals trust our sworn enemies more than they do law-abiding American citizens. But once you begin asking liberals to make sense, you might as well start expecting dogs to write sonnets and horses to compose concertos.

One would think that with the two houses of Congress brimming over with Jews, Obama would have to tread carefully in the Middle East. But, as you may have noticed, he has found that he can ignore the likes of Lautenberg, Schumer, Waxman, Boxer and Franken, with impunity. Otherwise, there’s no way on earth he would have even considered nominating Chuck Hagel to be his next Secretary of Defense. Hagel, who was an undistinguished Republican senator from Nebraska is the only sort of Republican Obama likes; namely, the sort who supported him in 2008 and again in 2012.

What makes Hagel such an obviously lousy choice for the job isn’t that he’s a political turncoat, but that he makes it a habit to side with Israel’s enemies, makes contemptuous remarks about what he and every other anti-Semite refers to as “the Jewish lobby,” and that he opposed the surge in Iraq, as well as sanctions on Iran. The irony is that it’s unlikely that the Jews in the Senate would embarrass Obama by opposing Hagel’s nomination on those totally appropriate grounds, but might vote against him because of an anti-gay crack he made some years ago.

In the meantime, the Democrats continue their anti-gun crusade although even they aren’t dumb enough to believe that more gun control laws will do any more to diminish violence in America in the future than they have in the past. As Thomas Jefferson once summed up the issue: “Laws that forbid the carrying of arms disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.”

Liberals are so loony on the subject that if you ask them what unarmed citizens are supposed to do when attacked, they’ll actually say -- with a straight face, no less -- that they should call the cops. So it seems that every time a man is mugged or a woman is raped, the real problem is that they neglected to place a call in the middle of the assault.

Even liberals must understand that cops do not prevent crimes, except for violations of driving laws and jaywalking; their job is to solve crimes once they’ve been committed. Perhaps I’m guilty of giving liberals too much credit, but surely even they can grasp the fact that when there’s a cop standing nearby, criminals mind their manners. That isn’t because down deep they respect the concept of law and order, but because cops are people with guns.

Crooks are equally likely to mind their p’s and q’s when they have reason to suspect that their intended victim might be packing a heater.

One of my readers suggested that if Democrats were really sincere, they would make Washington, D.C., a gun-free zone, just like schools, malls, movie theaters and Fort Hood. After all, if empty words are enough to keep our kids safe, why aren’t they good enough for members of Congress, Joe Biden and Barack Obama?

If the government passes anti-gun laws, we all know it will do nothing to eliminate mass murders. That means the natural next step will be to expand their attack on the Second Amendment by outlawing ammo. I even know what their slogan will be: “Guns Don’t Kill People, Bullets Do.”

With the recent votes to legalize marijuana in Washington and Colorado, my friend, Don Melquist, has passed along a slogan of his own: “Grow your own dope. Plant a Democrat.”

Even though I used to be a movie critic, I generally leave that stuff to those who get paid to sit through these snoozearamas. But there are times I’d feel like a cad if I didn’t offer a warning that could save people not only money, but over two-and-a-half hours of time they can never get back.

I never went to see Les Miserables on stage, and I had no intention of seeing the movie, but because, as a member of the WGA, I get to cast votes for Writers Guild awards, I get sent a number of videos at the end of the year. This year, one of those was Les Mis. To be fair, I must admit that a few of my friends enjoyed the movie. That leads me to wonder just how much alcohol these people consume when I’m not around.

For one thing, there are only a few decent songs in the entire score. For another, the conceit of the thing is that they thought they were creating an opera, so the dialogue, most of which is banal, is sung. Finally, at the risk of treading on a literary classic, Victor Hugo’s novel never made any sense to me. Why on earth would Javert, the head of the French police, feel compelled to devote his life to tracking down Jean Valjean, who, at worst, was a petty thief? There weren’t enough thieves and murderers in France to keep the man occupied? At least when Captain Ahab set out to harpoon Moby Dick, the damn whale had taken off his leg. But it wasn’t even Javert’s loaf of bread that Valjean had stolen.

As if all that weren't bad enough, at the end of the movie, we get to see the French rabble standing atop their barriers, raising their fists and looking for all the world exactly like the Wall Street occupiers who did so much last year to turn our own streets into urban pig sties.

Finally, although I haven’t yet spotted EPA-approved E-15 gas being sold at service stations in L.A., word has it that the stuff, which has a high corn content, can destroy your car’s engines in no time at all.

In related news, the EPA has announced the opening of 20,000 shops nationwide to be called Obama’s Jiffy Engine Replacements. Its catchy slogan is “Affordable Healthcare for Your Car.”
©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article:
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Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

BurtPrelutsky.com