Friday, August 30, 2013

OBAMA'S DE-NILE

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

I would like to spend a little time wandering through those weird cavernous echo chambers that pass for brains in the skulls of Obama, Kerry, John McCain and Lindsey Graham. But only if I knew I could get out and not be trapped inside with all those stalagmites.

While the Republican pinheads speak of reconciliation of all parties in Egypt, the Democrats wring their hands over the “rolling back of human rights” and the refusal of the military to allow for “peaceful demonstrations.” On what bizarre planet do these ignoramuses live? And is there sufficient oxygen to support human life?

For McCain and his mini-me, Lindsey Graham, to spout off insisting that all sides agree to form a united Egypt borders on the psychotic. Just exactly how are the opposing parties in Egypt – those who yearn for a secular democracy and those who crave a nation governed by Sharia law – supposed to come together? What sort of compromise would McCain suggest? A government run sanely three-and-a-half days a week, with Islamic lunacy controlling things the other 84 hours?

But never let it be said that the Democrats will ever allow the Republicans to hog all the foolishness. It is, in fact, the one area in which bi-partisanship carries the day in our nation’s capital. Let the Republicans insist on mortal enemies coming together and setting aside their mortal differences, and you can count on the Democrats referring to “peaceful protest,” while turning a blind eye to the rampant vandalism by the Muslim Brotherhood and their burning nearly two dozen Coptic Christian churches in Egypt.

As for those precious human rights that Obama is convinced the military is denying to 85 million Egyptians, it didn’t seem to faze him when those rights were being denied by Mohamed Morsi during the year after he was narrowly elected. Did Obama think that millions of Egyptians had taken to the streets because they didn’t like Morsi’s beard? Did it never even enter his puny little mind that it might have had something to do with the fact that Morsi was shredding the Egyptian constitution, imprisoning journalists and imposing a theocratic dictatorship?

To be fair, those might seem to be trivial matters to a president who used the IRS to punish his political foes and the Justice Department to snoop on reporters and lie about it to Congress; while he, himself, has shown only contempt for the laws of our nation, whether they involve shipping arms to Mexico, ignoring drug-related felonies or abandoning even the pretense of guarding our border.

Still, why is it that so many of our politicians, on both sides of the aisle, insist on pretending that the Muslim Brotherhood is just another political party? It is clearly a terrorist organization, no more benign than Al Qaeda or Hezbollah. And any politician who feels himself compelled to pay it lip service should be viewed with the same contempt that would have accrued to an American politician who spoke out on behalf of the Nazis during the 30s and 40s.

When I hear our politicians boohooing over the deaths of 50 or 60 rioting members of the Muslim Brotherhood, I would remind them that 72 Egyptians were killed in Port Said recently when a riot broke out over nothing more than a soccer match!

Just because the bad guys in the Middle East don’t wear uniforms or swastikas doesn’t entitle anyone to defend them as innocent civilians. The Egyptian military is the only thing keeping Egypt from morphing into another Iran, whereas the Muslim Brotherhood is strictly in the business of spreading Islamic fanaticism, and has about as much to do with promoting brotherhood as the Aryan Nation or the NAACP.

Inasmuch as most Americans seem to believe our Civil War, which resulted in 700,000 dead, was worthwhile, I’m at a loss to understand why so many folks get upset when far fewer are dying in Syria or, if it comes to pass, would die in an Egyptian civil war. At least in Egypt, we’d finally have a side worth rooting for.

So, naturally, that’s the side Obama and McCain are bad-mouthing.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

AMERICA IS ON LIFE ALERT + BONUS: RUMORS, RIDDLES & REBUTTALS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky


As I sit here,, apparently everyone in Washington, D.C. is mulling over what to do about Syria. For my part, I’m mulling over what to do about Washington, D.C. It just seems to me that America has fallen and can’t get up.

I know that I am expected to be up in arms over chemical weapons being employed by Bashar al-Assad, assuming that the intelligence is better now than it was prior to the Iraq invasion. But I have never understood the moral outrage connected to weaponry. Neither have I ever grasped the lunacy of war being waged according to some grotesque version of Marquis of Queensbury rules. As I see it, wars are fought in order to defeat one’s enemy before he has a chance to defeat you. And the faster you do it, the better.

I understand that chemical weapons are supposed to be beyond the pale, and that civilized people are expected to rail against their use. But am I the only person who finds it absurd that a few hundred people being murdered by poison gas is supposed to trump the 120,000 who have been killed by bombs and bullets in Syria?

If you’re out to kill people, I don’t think the means make all that much difference. I always thought the flamethrowers we used in the South Pacific during WWII were pretty horrific, but they make a lot of sense when you’re engaged in jungle warfare.

As you probably know, I have not chosen sides when it comes to Syria. I suppose if I were compelled to side with one group, it would be the anti-Assad forces simply because he’s allied with Russia and Iran, not because I see any real difference between those lined up against him and the Islamic vermin we’ve spent the past decade fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Speaking of the Middle East, why is Fox correspondent Leland Vittert reporting on Egypt and Syria from Jerusalem? I’m not saying I blame him. I wouldn’t want to be risking life and limb just to give eye witness reports from those hot spots, either. But why not let him report from New York or Omaha or wherever he happens to live? I just know that I wince every time he goes into his drama queen act, pretending he’s ducking bullets and scud missiles, when I know he’s miles away from where the action is.

Madness also reigns closer to home. For instance, we have New York City, where the cost of keeping a perp in jail now runs $167,000-a-year, and California, where the state legislators are anxiously waiting for Jerry Brown to sign a bill that would allow non-citizens to sit on juries. It’s hard to believe, but the people responsible for such lunacies weren’t just handed their jobs. They didn’t inherit them. They were all duly-elected by the very saps who have to pay their salaries.

It seems that the Veterans Administration is such a mess that injured warriors are waiting months, sometimes years, before they can expect to start receiving disability checks. And these guys probably thought the Taliban scumballs were ruthless. But, like all federal agencies, the folks at the VA reside in a parallel universe where incompetence is awarded. The agency recently announced that it was handing out $5.5 million in bonuses to its employees. But, at least so far as we know, no Purple Hearts will be awarded these dedicated bureaucrats.

We keep being told by Democrats that photo IDS are discriminatory to minorities and the elderly. Being a 73-year-old Jew, you would think by now I would be aware of the fact I am being systematically deprived of my vote. Well, in a sense, being a conservative in California, I suppose I am. After all, no matter how often I vote against Jerry Brown, Gavin Newsom, Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein and Brad Sherman, those mooks keep winning.

But at least I get to cast my meaningless vote. So I have to wonder, who are these millions of people who have been disenfranchised? I’m also wondering why it’s only their inability to vote every few years that seems to trouble Eric Holder. Why isn’t he complaining that all these blacks, Latinos and seniors, can’t buy beer or cigarettes; board an airplane; drive a car; enter a courthouse or a federal building, including the House. Senate and his own Department of Justice; or, for that matter, attend one of Obama’s speeches or even show up for one of Mrs. Obama’s occasional lectures?

Finally, we are told that by 2020, thanks to older doctors retiring and younger doctors opting to go into research rather than deal with ObamaCare, America will have 90,000 fewer doctors than we’ll need.

It’s only a rumor at this point, but, according to someone high up at the Department of Health and Human Services, it seems that between now and 2020 Doc Gooden, Neil “Doc” Simon, Doc Severinsen and Dr. Seuss, will all be opening offices to help take up the slack.


BONUS: RUMORS, RIDDLES & REBUTTALS


I have heard that a five million dollar class action lawsuit has been filed here in California on behalf of those people who purchased copies of Lance Armstrong’s autobiography in which he swore that he had never used performance-enhancing drugs. Their claim is based on the fact that when they purchased the book, it was represented by the subject and his publisher to be non-fiction.

I am not a member of the lawsuit because I didn’t buy the book, having no interest whatsoever in the life of a professional bicyclist. Perhaps my interest would have been piqued if he’d won all those races riding a unicycle or while juggling dishes, but that’s pretty much the same reason I gave Obama’s memoirs a wide berth.

However, I pray the litigants win their multi-million dollar judgment. What an earth-shattering precedent it would set if every two-bit politician who decides, like Obama, to attach his name to a ghost-written book knew that his self-aggrandizing lies could wind up biting him in the wallet.

I keep hearing from readers taking me to task over my defense of the NSA, which essentially came down to my insistence that if their monitoring of phone calls between Yemen and Omaha could prevent another 911 or Boston massacre, we should be cheering the agency on. Anyone who believes that their phone numbers are somehow protected by the Constitution has apparently never received a call from a telemarketer.

As I see it, anyone who has concluded that the NSA is corrupt just because the IRS and the Justice Department are, is as silly as someone assuming that the IRS and Eric Holder are doing a great job just because the NSA seems to be.

While Obama likes to pretend that the economy is on the road to recovery simply because the unemployment rate has dropped to 7.4%, he naturally chooses to ignore the fact that as a result of his policies, the bureaucratic zealots at the EPA and the misnamed Affordable Care Act, the actual rate -- if those who have dropped out of the work force or have had to settle for part-time employment are included -- is a staggering 14.3%.

Another case of economic legerdemain is performed on a daily basis by those who keep reporting on record highs being achieved by the stock market. If the Federal Reserve ever stops pumping Monopoly money into the system, the result will remind old-timers of the crash that took place in October, 1929.

The only statistic that warms the cockles of my heart is the 16.1% unemployment rate among millennials, the $50 dollar word they’ve concocted to describe people in their 20s. So far as I’m concerned, they deserve to be sentenced to a lifetime in their parents’ basement for having trooped out last November and cast 70% of their votes for the incumbent, aka The Cool Dude.

Speaking of which, in his attempt to increase the number of Democratic voters, Obama has not only decided to stop prosecuting drug dealers, but is encouraging Mexican aliens to claim political asylum in the U.S., even going so far as to pick up the tab for their hotel rooms in San Diego.

In the past, such asylum has only been granted to those who actually feared reprisal from the likes of Stalin, Hitler, Mao and Castro. If Obama is going to play this nasty partisan game, I want the Republicans in Congress to demand that Obama go on record, condemning Mexico for violating human rights.

A friend of mine pointed out that we have been constantly lectured by the liberals in Washington and the media not to judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, while, on the other hand, we are encouraged by the likes of Obama, Holder, Feinstein, Schumer and Biden, to condemn all gun owners for the actions of a tiny number of loons.

Finally, to paraphrase Shakespeare, what fools some of these mortals be! Even after Al Gore and his fellow hucksters were forced by cooling temperatures to change “global warming” to “climate change” in order to keep the money and research grants rolling in, we continue to hear those on the left demanding that the coal industry be shut down and the Keystone pipeline be scuttled.

You can hardly come up with a better example of human arrogance. Imagine believing we human beings have the power to control the earth’s climate when we can’t even deal with a single cyclone or hurricane except by cowering in a cellar until Mother Nature, in her own good time, decides to move it along or let it blow itself out.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Monday, August 26, 2013

A NUCLEAR ARSENAL IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Obama insists that in spite of Putin’s body language, their private conversations are often very productive. Indeed they are. For Putin, that is. Without his lifting a finger to help us when it comes to Iran, Syria and Edward Snowden, Obama has agreed not to supply Poland with a promised anti-missile system, has agreed to diminish our nuclear arsenal and, for all I know, agreed to subscribe to Pravda.

If it were up to me, we would have used a few nukes to curb Islam long before now. Just because the jihadists don’t wear uniforms or carry flags is no reason not to let their host nations understand that certain rotten activities will inevitably result in very unpleasant consequences.

Besides, someone recently sent me photos of modern day Hiroshima. Far from being a nuclear wasteland, it appears to be a thriving metropolis. In fact, it suggests that just as Nero apparently burned down Rome in order to clear it of slums and rodents, a well-placed nuke might be the only way to brighten Detroit’s future.

Why, I’d like to know, are people like John McCain so eager to oppose the Egyptian military? Would he raise the same loony objections if the Iranian military got rid of the mullahs or the Russian military disposed of Putin? The Egyptian military got rid of Morsi, who, although he managed to win a democratic election, quickly showed himself to be the front man for the Muslim Brotherhood.

And arguing, as McCain does, for a reconciliation of secular Egyptians with the Brotherhood is moronic. But, then, it would take a self-righteous pinhead like McCain, the fellow who argued against the very enhanced interrogation practices that ultimately led to the elimination of Osama bin Laden, to call for it.

McCain speaks out against Islamic terrorists, but like Obama, he seems blissfully unaware of the fact that they often go by other names than Al Qaeda.

Speaking of people who seem unqualified to speak as authorities, Chip Saltsman and Joe Trippi recently appeared on Chris Wallace’s Sunday morning show to speculate on upcoming elections. Mr. Wallace introduced them as veterans of presidential campaigns. Technically speaking, they are that. After all, Mr. Saltsman managed Mike Huckabee’s ill-fated primary campaign in 2008, while the older Trippi spearheaded the failed campaigns of Ted Kennedy, Walter Mondale and Howard Dean, among others. But wouldn’t it make more sense to have the guys who managed winning campaigns pontificating on Fox?

I readily confess that I have very little interest in professional football and basketball, but at least even I get why other people might be fans. But when it comes to soccer, I’m at a total loss. I mean, I can see why those in third world countries might grow up being aficionados. After all, the only things required are a large empty field and something round, maybe a melon or an animal skull, to kick around. But why an American would ever follow the so-called sport is beyond me. The game requires stamina, but so do marathons and sitting through an Obama speech, but nobody ever claimed those were spectator sports. In fact, one of the few activities that require even greater stamina than playing a game of soccer is watching a game of soccer.

I am still hearing from people who are taking me to task over my defense of the NSA by pointing out that, after the scandals involving Operation Fast and Furious, Benghazi and the IRS, the present administration is not to be trusted. Of course I never said anything about trusting Obama. But the thing to keep in mind is that tyrants such as Stalin, Hitler and Mao, didn’t require electronic data to imprison or kill anyone they considered suspicious. If collecting phone numbers helps prevent another 9/11, I’m all for it and I don’t consider my civil liberties lost or even diminished. It just seems to me that blind distrust is every bit as naïve, and perhaps even more dangerous, than blind trust.

I know that some of you, especially those living in places like Massachusetts, Washington and Illinois, are convinced you live in liberal-run asylums posing as states. But, believe me, compared to California, you might as well be living in Utah or Oklahoma.

For instance, our governor, Jerry Brown, just signed Assembly Bill 1266, which will allow transgender youths to use whichever bathroom and participate on whichever team they feel most closely matches their gender identity.

Still not convinced? Okay, people who are trying to give up nicotine by using the product known as e-cigarettes will no longer be allowed to smoke them in public places or even in their own homes. In case you’re unfamiliar with the item, it provides ex-smokers with the tactile experience provided by cigarettes, but replaces the tars and nicotine with water vapor. The stated reason -- hold on to your hats! – is because of the unknown health risk! As we all know, you can’t be too careful when it comes to those pesky, cancer-causing, water vapors.

I guess the next item on the liberal agenda will be to do away with baths, showers and Niagara Falls.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Friday, August 23, 2013

WHERE'S THAT DAMN FLIT GUN?

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

From 1928 through 1945, “Quick, Henry, the Flit!” was the tagline in ads for a popular insecticide. Interestingly, Theodor Geisel did the original artwork, which typically showed people being menaced by large whimsical-looking critters. Mr. Geisel went on to graduate from a make-believe medical school and become better known as Dr. Seuss.

I swear, every time I see a politician on TV, especially one who insists on calling himself a public servant, I find myself reaching for the Flit. What a bunch of mealy-mouthed, money-grubbing, hypocrites! Apparently doing nothing but posturing and posing for TV cameras takes so much out of these phonies that, come August, they’d have you believe that their very survival calls for a five week vacation we have to pay for.

They remind me of an old Spanish proverb: How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterward.

Speaking of politicians with far too much time on their hands, Illinois State Rep. Monique Davis claims that many of her constituents don’t believe their thuggish sons are killing one another, and that the vile deeds are being committed by the cops in Chicago. When asked if she personally believed it, she said, “I don’t know that they are and I don’t know that they aren’t.”

When the office holders are as dumb and as bigoted as the dumbest bigots who elected them, you know a city is in deep doo-doo. It’s no wonder that the city of broad shoulders and a very teeny brain provided such a terrific springboard for Barack Obama. It also helps to explain why the likes of Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan call it home, and why Farrakhan endorsed Rep. Davis and why she still attends the Trinity United Church.

Still, I know how Rep. Davis can figure out how she really feels about all those murders. The next time, she feels herself threatened, she can let us know if she calls for a cop or a Crip.

When I recently posted the list of my all-time favorite movies, a couple of readers asked me about my favorite TV shows. Because there have been so few, it hardly calls for a separate list. My favorite comedies were “The Sid Caesar Show,” “You’ll Never Get Rich” (aka “Sgt. Bilko”), “Frasier,” “Barney Miller,” “Everyone Loves Raymond” and a couple of English ones: “Blackadder” and “No, Honestly.”

My favorite dramatic series were “Route 66,” “Naked City” and “Law & Order.” My favorite mini-series was the English version of “House of Cards.” My favorite variety show was “The Carol Burnett Show.” My favorite anthologies were “Playhouse 90,” “Studio One,” and “The Dick Powell Theater.” My favorite late night host was Jack Paar, closely followed by Steve Allen.

Full disclosure requires I confess I never watched “Dallas,” “Dynasty,” “Peyton Place” or “Knott’s Landing.” I also have never tuned in to those so-called survival shows that pit people against one another on desert islands or any of the reincarnated versions of the old “Amateur Hour” that showcase singers, dancers and, for all I know, jugglers, unicyclists and yodelers.

A lot of conservatives will tell you that Hollywood has never been worse. But I can assure you that the blacklisting of right-wingers is nothing new. It took place in the 30s and 40s, but people only got wind of the practice when the Communist scare was on during the Cold War, and for the first time it was leftists who were being targeted.

Kyle Smith, writing in the NY Post, claims that in the 1930s, Germany was the biggest market for Hollywood product outside the U.S. As a result, they were able to order a recut version of “All Quiet on the Western Front,” that made German soldiers appear more heroic during WWI.

Recognizing the power they had, even with studios run mostly by Jews, German movie czar George Gyssling paid a personal call on Hollywood and threatened the studio bosses with Article 15, which stated that if a U.S. film was released anywhere in the world that offended Germany, Germany would ban all movies from that studio. So it was that when Herman Mankiewicz proposed a movie project called “The Mad Dog of Europe” to be made independently, Gyssling vowed Germany would ban all U.S. films in retaliation. Between them, Will Hayes, Hollywood’s hand-picked censor, and Louis B. Mayer, head of MGM, saw to it that the project never got off the ground. In fact, it wasn’t until 1939 that Hollywood finally got around to making its first anti-Nazi movie.

Mr. Smith goes on to mention that although the original “Iron Man” only scored $15 million in China five years ago, “Iron Man 3” took in over $120 million. Part of the reason is that the producers added scenes in the exported version that featured a heroic Chinese character.

In other words, don’t expect all those Hollywood liberals, who can always be counted on to donate millions to any politician who peppers his speeches with heart-felt concerns about global-warming and the environment, to ever take China to task.

So, while James Bond may yet be called upon to dispatch a greedy super villain who’s trying to cover the planet in toxic smog for his own nefarious reasons, you can bet his name won’t be Mr. Wong.

Finally, I understand that Major Nidal Hasan wanted to plead guilty to several counts of murder and attempted murder, but was stymied by mind-boggling military rules that prevent defendants from entering guilty pleas in death-penalty cases.

And here I thought Hasan was crazy!

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

IDLE AND NOT SO IDLE THOUGHTS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

WHEN OLDER PEOPLE COMPARE contemporary times with days gone by, they usually report that when it comes to child-rearing, general civility, education, popular music and patriotism, things were far better in the 40s and 50s. The areas in which modern times tend to win the day are life-saving pharmaceuticals, dentistry and surgical procedures.

One of the worst things about modern life, I think we’d all agree, is the four-hour window we have all come to accept. Whether it’s some form of home repair or having a major appliance delivered and installed, you have to decide whether you want to wait around from 8 a.m. to noon or 1 p.m. to five. I have no idea when it happened that we not only had to pay these people, but allow them to dictate our lives. Especially in this economy, you would think it would work just the opposite, with the person writing the check getting to say “I want to see you at my front door at 2:30 or forget about it.”

Ariel Castro, the creep who kept the three women captive in his basement for a decade, received a prison term of a thousand years. My first reaction was, why not a million years? My second reaction was the usual rhetorical one: Just why are we keeping him alive if it’s not to use him as a human guinea pig?

Next, I wondered why judges ever add, “Without the possibility of parole” to the sentence when we all know that those five words are as meaningless as a politician’s sacred vow.

After all, probably the single most notorious crime in the last century was the murder of Bobby Franks by Leopold and Loeb. Plays and movies were made about the crime. When they were sentenced to life in prison in 1925, lawyer Clarence Darrow was hailed as a magician for saving the two creeps from the electric chair. Naturally, nobody at the time could ever imagine either of them being released. But, although Richard Loeb was killed by a fellow inmate five years into his life sentence, Nathan Leopold was paroled in 1958, at the relatively young age of 53. He then moved to Puerto Rico, where he died in 1971.

More recently, Illinois Governor George Ryan commuted 160 death sentences not too long before he was sent up the river on a variety of corruption charges. Only a deeply cynical person would ever suspect that Ryan simply wanted to have as many friends as possible waiting for him in the big house.

My point, though, is that in the final analysis, a sentence is nothing more than a suggestion.

The one thing I’ll say on Ariel Castro’s behalf is that he didn’t pretend to be remorseful. For the life of me, I don’t know why judges insist on calling for these hypocritical words of contrition, when we all know that the only things these monsters rue is having been caught.

However, even I was taken aback when Castro said there was “a lot of harmony in the house” and insisted that Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight were “happy.” If I had been sitting on the bench, I would have taken him at his word and seen to it that he spent the first 10 of those thousand years chained to a wall and raped repeatedly. I guess that’s why they always hide the black robes and wooden gavels whenever I’m anywhere near a courthouse.

Although I often find myself wondering where the heck they find federal bureaucrats, whenever I see Daniel Werfel, Principal Deputy Commissioner of the IRS, testifying before a congressional committee, I can’t help thinking they had no business taking him out of junior high for the day. For one thing, his voice hasn’t even changed yet. For another, he obviously had no big boy clothes of his own and had to wind up wearing his dad’s. As a result, the suit is a few sizes too large and the shirt cuffs come all the way down to his fingernails. I just hope the congressmen give him a note for his teacher so he doesn’t get into trouble.

Obama is taking bows for the unemployment rate dropping to 7.6 while ignoring the fact that another 500,000 people have taken themselves out of the work force. Another relevant fact is that 21 million people in their 20s are still living with their parents. Only the realization that at least 70% of them helped re-elect Obama allows me to sleep at night.

Speaking of Obama, if a TV show had numbers plummeting like his, it would be canceled. I believe that helps to explain why so many people prefer TV to reality.

One can’t help noticing that all those things that Obama swore to get to the bottom of, but which he personally couldn’t address because of those darn ongoing investigations, suddenly morphed into “phony scandals.” For those with short memories, they included Operation Fast & Furious, the Benghazi massacre, the spying on journalists and the IRS hit list targeting conservatives. As it happens, it was the investigations that were phony.

My idea of a phony scandal was the one regarding the state of health care concocted by Obama when he decided to take control of one-sixth of the nation’s economy. In shoving ObamaCare down our throats, Obama and his stooges in Congress kept weeping crocodile tears over the millions of uninsured, when they knew most of them to be illegal aliens who weren’t entitled to taxpayer-funded health care in the first place and healthy young Americans who preferred living in their parents’ basements and spending their money on booze, clothes, dumb movies and electronic gizmos.

Finally, it occurs to me that the biggest problem with our elections is that however you vote, you wind up electing a politician.

Speaking of one of the worst of those, apparently when then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton would return from one of her frequent trips abroad, Washington insiders were wont to say, “The ego has landed.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Monday, August 19, 2013

CRIMES & MISDEMEANORS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

If I were a time traveler from an earlier age, I’m sure that along with our music, manners and clothing, the thing that would mystify me the most is our legal system.

For openers, I would not understand why rapists and pedophiles are not executed, or at the very least locked away in dungeons to be gnawed on by rats.

What possible excuse could there be for keeping these creatures alive? Some crimes can be explained, if not excused. People sometimes kill in self-defense or in a jealous rage. People sometimes steal food when they’re starving. But rape and child molestation are cold, calculated atrocities, and anybody who commits them has allowed his membership in the human race to lapse.

I would also argue that an attempted murder should carry the same penalty as a successful homicide. Why should justice be thwarted just because a bullet happens to carom off a skull? Dumb luck should not carry the day. Neither should incompetence be rewarded.

That brings us to those self-serving hypocrites, criminal defense attorneys. The system encourages them to wrap themselves in the cloak of the righteous, allowing them to parrot the line that everyone is entitled to the best defense (that money can buy). There’s no denying that innocent people have occasionally been forced to stand trial, but even Alan Dershowitz, eminent lawyer and Harvard law professor, has stated that over 90% of those indicted are obviously guilty. That means that nine out of 10 clients should go to jail. Defense attorneys will tell you that they don’t know if their clients are guilty, but that it really doesn’t matter. Their job isn’t to pursue justice, but to create a reasonable doubt in the minds of the jurors. It’s not their fault, after all, if a dozen cantaloupes would often do a better job of passing judgment.

Frankly, I can’t even fantasize a life in which I would devote my efforts to getting people responsible for the vilest of crimes acquitted so that, presumably, they could go out and commit them again, at least once their check cleared.

Aside from the fact that the system allows these moral parasites to achieve fame and fortune, I will never grasp the reason that past crimes are not supposed to be considered by the jury. Why should the fact that you have been convicted of arson or assault five times over the past 20 years be ruled irrelevant, even though in every other area of life your past history is the only way that potential spouses, employers and business associates, have to judge you.

If more and more people come to hold the legal system in contempt, it might be that they’re simply following the example of our elected leaders. Here in California, the voters passed Proposition 8, defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman. But Governor Jerry Brown and Attorney General Kamala Harris not only refused to enforce the law, but refused to defend it before the Supreme Court.

On a federal level, Barack Obama went to war with Arizona because Governor Brewer did what he refused to do, what the Constitution obliged him to do: namely, defend our border.

And now, a month after the Supreme Court ruled that the portion of the Civil Rights Act that compelled certain states to get federal approval before changing their election laws had become moot because most of the states affected had more black voters registered than white ones, Attorney General Eric Holder gave the Court the proverbial finger. Taking his marching orders from Obama, he boasted to his buddies down at the Mystic Knights of the Sea Lodge Hall -- I mean the Urban League -- that he has no intention of standing by while Texas makes photo IDs mandatory at election time.

Having nutballs at the top of the Justice Department is nothing new. One of Holder’s predecessors, courtesy of LBJ, was the demonically radical Ramsey Clark. But as bad as Clark was as Attorney General, he really came into his own once he went into business for himself. Among those he has dedicated his life to defending have been loony cult leader David Koresh, Saddam Hussein, Nazi war criminal Jakob Reimer, convicted killer Leonard Peltier, Nazi concentration camp commander Karl Linnas and Serbian war criminal Slobodan Milosevic. Some lawyers chase ambulances, Ramsey Clark chose to chase hearses.

And after racking up that sterling record, the putz tried to have George W. Bush impeached and tried for war crimes, along with Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft.

For good measure, he addressed the second Durban Review Conference, a conference that was boycotted by such civilized nations as Austria, Canada, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Poland and the U.S. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was the keynote speaker, and took the occasion to join Clark in accusing Israel of genocide. What made that particularly ironic is that one of Ramsey Clark’s more despicable clients had been Elizaphan Ntakirutimana, who played a particularly bloody role in the actual genocide that ravaged Rwanda.

To truly grasp the idiocy of the man and to fully appreciate why he remains at 85 a mythic figure to the moral pygmies on the Left, you should know that during the L.A. riots, Mr. Clark was asked by a reporter if he would view with suspicion a black person inserting wicks into multiple bottles filled with gasoline, and replied he would not.

Neither, I’m willing to wager, would Eric Holder.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Friday, August 16, 2013

THE PLACE I LIVE, THE BOOKS I READ

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

My neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley is diverse. In fact, it’s more diverse than the typical college campus and light years more diverse than the typical college faculty. On my single block, we have blacks, whites and Latinos. The age range runs from about 13 to mid-80s. Across the street is an orthodox Jewish family; next door are Armenian Christians from Constantinople. Next door to them, the house is for sale because the elderly Hawaiian couple died in recent years. We also have a married couple in their 30s, a retired Marine and his wife, a middle-aged son living with his mother who suffers from Alzheimer’s, a multi-generational family of Hispanics and a woman who shares her home with four cats who have somehow survived sharing space with two pit bulls. For the most part, my neighbors, both the Democrats and the Republicans, are apolitical.

We all get along pretty well. So I know it is possible even in 2013. But not too long ago, I had an unnerving experience. I was in the checkout line at the local supermarket. Just ahead of me were a black mother and her four or five year old son. Generally in those circumstances, I smile and wave my fingers at the kid. They nearly always smile and wave back. Occasionally, a child will look to mom for guidance: Am I one of those creepy old guys they’ve been warned about? Sometimes, if they’re standing and not riding shotgun in the shopping cart, they’ll hide behind mom’s skirt and peek out at me. This time, though, the black child glowered at me. He gave me the look Sonny Liston used to give his ring opponents.

It’s possible I am making too much of it, but when scores of white and Latino kids have always reacted exactly as I’ve reported and suddenly a black child reacts in a profoundly different way, I have to suspect something is amiss. And what that something is, I believe, is that black children are being raised with an overly developed sense of anger towards white people. Call it what you will, but I call it child abuse.

And is it just my imagination or do most of the bad guys in the news lately all look like a call went out to Central Casting to send over the creepiest-looking actors they had available? I mean, people who look like Julian Assange, Bradley Manning, Edward Snowden, Anthony Weiner and Bob Filner, don’t grow on trees, although one might easily assume they live in them. The only thing missing has been an albino with a German accent.

Am I the only person who thinks Maddy, the Puerto Rican mother of eight who was one of the six jurors in the George Zimmerman trial, who went on TV to announce that Zimmerman got away with murder, should have been tossed in the slammer for contempt of court and then sued for slander by Zimmerman?

Although I oppose the insanity plea being allowed in criminal cases, I can see how it might be useful when it comes to seating jurors.

What can you say about New York City, where even after the recent non-stop sextings of Anthony Weiner’s wiener, 16% of voters still plan to vote for him? I suppose it helps clear up the mystery surrounding Nanny Bloomberg’s getting to serve three terms, the last in clear violation of the city’s constitution.

In related news, a law has been proposed in New York that would allow cops to describe the clothes that suspects wore during the commission of a crime, but would open the door to a lawsuit if they mentioned the gender, age, race or possible physical affliction – such as a limp -- of the perp.

During the 2012 election campaign, Obama kept bragging that he’d bet on Detroit. We can all agree that was one really dumb bet. But it’s not the worst bet that was wagered last year. I refer to the $10 I lost on Romney.

I just finished reading “Roger Ailes: Off Camera.” The main thing I came away with is that it cost Rupert Murdoch $100 million to set up Fox News. What mystifies me is why none of the conservative billionaires has spent a like-amount to kick off a competing network. I know if it meant that I wouldn’t have to waste all that time with Bob Beckel, Alan Colmes, Leslie Marshall, Marc Lamont Hill, Geraldo Rivera and Juan Williams, I’d make the switch in a nano-second.

I realize that Fox has marketed itself as fair and balanced, but even if you live in such civilized outposts as Texas, Oklahoma, Georgia, Utah and Wyoming, you don’t need to tune in Fox to hear left-wing airheads. Every time you pick up a newspaper or turn on one of the major networks, you can’t help hearing from Obama, Holder, Schumer, Durbin, Waxman or Rangel.

So, my suggestion to wealthy right-wingers such as Sheldon Adelson and the Koch brothers is to pool your lunch money and kick off a conservative network. Even if it’s not quite as successful as Fox, it will be ten times as successful as MSNBC and CNN put together, and it might even allow me to spew my patented brand of nonsense.

Mentioning the Ailes biography reminds me that people are often surprised to learn that I read far more novels than non-fiction. There are a few reasons for my preference. As a rule, novelists are better writers because writing is their true calling, whereas research is the long suit for historians and biographers.

Another reason I prefer novels is that I have no need to separate fact from lies or presumptions by first determining the writer’s personal bias. With fiction, because the characters are all born out of literary invention, the author is free to share all of his creation’s thoughts and motives. As a reader, I find that far more compelling than having some historical figure wind up on a page only after being strained through a writer’s prejudices.

I fully understand that this is merely my opinion. But keep in mind that over the past 65 years, I have read a lot of both kinds of books, whereas I know people who casually dismiss novels, but haven’t read any since their English teacher, Miss Grimshaw, made them read “A Tale of Two Cities” in the 12th grade.

Finally, I wish conservatives, both those in and out of political office, would man-up and stop worrying about whether the NY Times labels honest statements regarding illegal aliens, same-sex marriages, ObamaCare or race relations, narrow-minded, homophobic or racist. Instead of curling up in a spineless ball, we should keep in mind what we knew by heart when we were kids: that sticks and stones may break our bones, but names don’t even leave a bruise.

It’s not the first time I’ve noticed that more truth is to be found on a typical school playground than in the halls of Congress. Or, for that matter, in the pages of the NY Times.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

THINGS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

In spite of the fact that the Democrats have been the reason that so many cities and states, not to mention the nation at large, are in such dire financial straits, there are only a dozen states that boast two Republican senators and a Republican governor.

You do have to wonder why anyone would vote for someone who seems to think socialism is preferable to capitalism or why they would continue to elect politicians who don’t even pretend to negotiate seriously with public sector unions. We all know, or should know by now, that they merely go through the motions while, in reality, using the negotiations as a way to line up volunteers and guarantee themselves campaign contributions in exchange for our tax dollars.

I mean, places like Detroit don’t simply happen. They are the inevitable result of electing Democratic mayors and city councilmen decade after decade. If you keep eating Twinkies, you’ll get fat. If you keep electing left-wingers, you’ll go bust.

There are a great many people in this country who still believe that Obama is as popular as he was in 2009. They are totally unaware that his numbers in the polls are sinking nearly as fast as Anthony Weiner’s. The reason for this is that he spends all his time in venues that are more tightly controlled than nuclear missile silos. It’s reminiscent of the days when every sit com, no matter how inane, came with a carefully calibrated laugh track, offering everything from giggles to guffaws.
The idea was that even if the script didn’t elicit laughs in the home audience, the laughter of others would persuade them that they were having a very jolly time. In the case of Obama, the idea is that even if the folks at home can’t find a job and are worried sick about what the Affordable Care Act is going to do to their health care, if they see all those mooks on stage sitting behind Obama and clapping on cue, he can’t be doing too lousy a job.

With the arrival of the new English prince, my thoughts naturally went to the royal family. For a long time, I felt sorry for the Queen. Between her blood relatives and her in-laws, it seemed as if not a day went by when one of those monkeys wasn’t embarrassing her with their foolish antics. But she merely carried on with a stiff upper lip in the English tradition. That’s the advantage of being raised from birth to be a queen.

In the U.S., we have our own form of royalty, but they’re movie stars, divas and politicians. In some cases, they’re merely people who came up with a money-making idea, such as the social network. But suddenly they’re no longer poor and anonymous. The problem is that nobody has prepared them for fame and fortune, so, often, they tend to act up. They may have been jerks before, but nobody outside their little circle knew them. Now, every day we are force-fed their addictions, their perversions and their run-of-the-mill jerkiness.

One of the things I’ve always wondered about is how the nouveau riche ever get accustomed to having servants around all the time. If you’re the Queen of England, it’s how you were raised. But how do people who were slinging hash or driving a taxi yesterday deal with it today? I acknowledge I’m not typical, but I can barely stand to have friends in the house. I can’t imagine having strangers hovering about, puffing up pillows and pretending not to eavesdrop.

A friend sent me a joke which served to remind me why I’m so glad that when my family decided to leave Chicago when I was six years old, they decided to take me along: “I was in Scottsdale, Arizona, the other day when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read I miss Chicago. So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama/Biden in 2012 sticker, and left a note that read: I hope this helps.”

This afternoon, I heard a talk show host predict that the GOP is so fractured that there’s no way that we have any chance of winning in 2016. He said that while Marco Rubio, Rand Paul and Chris Christie, all have sizable factions supporting them, no single candidate could possibly unite the Party.

I beg to differ. I believe there’s one: Hillary Clinton.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Monday, August 12, 2013

IT'S TIME TO CANCEL MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

I realize that's a provocative title, but let’s face it, as things stand, the third Monday of January would be better used to celebrate grandmothers or our beloved pets. By devoting a national holiday to Rev. King, we’re only highlighting the abyss that exists between his hope that we begin judging one another by our character rather than by our skin color and that inconvenient thing called reality.

As we saw during the entire Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman brouhaha, the majority of blacks see everything in terms of black and white. And why wouldn’t they when their so-called leaders, including the man in the Oval Office and the fellow heading up the Justice Department, see America in those same myopic terms?

Recently, when the white students at Georgia State University decided to start a White Student Union, judging by the cries of outrage from the usual suspects, you would have thought the Klan was back burning crosses in the middle of the night.

But why is it racist when white students do what black students have been doing for decades? At GSU, the racial breakdown is split nearly 50-50 between whites and blacks, so it’s not even as if there’s only a tiny handful of blacks who feel they have to cluster together, the way American tourist groups do in foreign countries.

Besides black student unions, we have black dorms, black lunch areas and even black graduations, not because whites are discriminating against blacks, but because blacks don’t object to segregation so long as they’re the ones doing it.

Imagine the outcry if Caucasian members of the House formed a Congressional White Caucus. But the Congressional Black Caucus has been around for a long time. And the members are so bigoted that when Stephen Cohen, who is white but represents Tennessee’s 9th congressional district, which is 59% black and only 36% white, applied for membership in the CBC, he was -- how else can I say it? -- blackballed.

In order to honor and promote their heritage and culture, many ethnic Americans form societies. There are those for Poles, Italians, Armenians, Chinese and, for all I know, even Canadians looking to preserve dullness. But racial groups are generally frowned upon in civilized circles. The mere thought of them conjures up the likes of Nazis, the Klan and the Aryan Nation. But once again, blacks think they should be the exception.

I just can’t help thinking that at a point when racism has nearly vanished from the hearts of white Americans, it has taken hold like a giant parasite in the soul of black America. That whirring sound you hear is Martin Luther King spinning in his grave.

Speaking of which, people who keep calling for Eric Holder’s dismissal are really beginning to bug me. It seems to me that if your steak arrives burnt and your baked potato arrives raw, you don’t blame the waiter; you blame the chef. That’s not to say that Holder isn’t a lousy waiter. But firing the waiter isn’t going to improve the disasters taking place in the kitchen.

As for the chef, he has said he’s very disappointed in Russia because they’ve given political asylum to Edward Snowden. I, for one, say he’s got his nerve. After all, he’s the punk who leaned over to President Medvedev and told him to tell his master, Vladimir Putin, that (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) he’d be a lot more flexible after he was re-elected.

So, why is anyone surprised that Putin decided to find out just how far a more flexible Obama was willing to bend over in order to accommodate Mother Russia?


BONUS: THE GRIPES OF WRATH

There is so much in America today that calls for ridicule and contempt, one hardly knows where to begin. But when in doubt, you can’t go wrong starting with liberals.

Whether they’re calling themselves liberals, progressives or Democrats this week, at the top of their mission statement is the feeding and housing of the needy. But what they never do is separate the needy who are deserving from those who aren’t. To them, the needy are all the same. They make no distinction between the elderly poor or severely handicapped and those who are young and able-bodied but feel themselves entitled to everything without having to work for any of it.

Furthermore, the last thing that left-wingers want to do is to turn the needy into the un-needy because to do so would eliminate the takers from their dependence on the Democrats. That is why they ignore the adage that points out if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, but if you teach him to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

The truth is that if Americans were ever forced to learn how to fish, no liberal would ever again be elected president.

The latest evidence of what happens when people keep voting for Democrats is Detroit’s bankruptcy. It was only a matter of when, not if, Detroit would go belly-up. No city, state or nation, can constantly cave in to civil service unions that demand large salaries and even larger pensions in exchange for its votes and campaign contributions. Even FDR understood how insane it would be to allow civil servants to organize, but when Mayor Robert Wagner gave the green light to New York’s public service unions and then easily won re-election, it provided John Kennedy with the impetus to do the same at a national level. We tax-payers have been paying the piper ever since.

It’s Detroit today, it’s your hometown tomorrow.

In the wake of all the racist demonstrations that greeted the Zimmerman verdict, I will share some of my own police-related experiences. When I was 12, we moved to an apartment about a block outside the city limits of Beverly Hills. Quite often when I’d ride my bike home from the playground, especially in the winter when it got dark early, I would be stopped by Beverly Hills cops. Not very many kids, I discovered, rode their bikes after dark in that town.

When I started driving my dad’s car at 16, I looked about 12, and cops would often stop me and ask to see my license.

When I was attending UCLA, I rode a motorcycle. If I worked late at the Daily Bruin, I would have to pass through Beverly Hills, and I grew accustomed to being stopped by the cops on my way home.

My point is that I was white and I still got stopped more frequently between the ages of 12 and 21 than any black kid in L.A., and it never got me upset. Even at that age, I felt they were just doing their job. Heck, if I’d been a cop, I would have stopped me and asked a few questions. I never acted surly or gave them any lip or pretended they had stopped me because somehow they sensed I was Jewish.

I believe that’s a lesson to be learned, and I’m sure that most black teenagers never learn it.

I have attacked public education more times than I can count, but that’s because I never kept track, not because as a veteran of public schools I really don’t know how to count. Actually back when I went to school, they were still pretty good. Part of the reason they were good is that parents actually paid attention to what their kids were being taught.

These days, most conservatives do nothing to instill conservative values in their children. They blithely send their offspring off to high schools and colleges that are totally under the control of Marxists, and then are shocked when their kids turn out to be the kinds of people who become Occupy Wall Streeters and vote for Obama. Apparently, these simpletons think their kids will wind up being conservatives through osmosis.

In a piece titled “Prioritizing Our Concerns,” I wrote a defense of the NSA, pretty much upholding their right to collect phone numbers in the war on Islamic jihadists. I pointed out that national security was one of the few things that the Constitution actually demands of the federal government.

Probably nothing I’ve written has ever brought me such a negative response. A few readers agreed with me, but the great majority took me to task, assuming I was either naïve or insane. I could understand their attitude. After Benghazi, the monitoring of the AP and the IRS mistreatment of conservatives, a person would have to be nuts to trust this administration. But the National Security Agency has been around since Harry Truman created it in 1952, and even today nobody can point to an actual misuse of its powers.

If in order to better avoid another 911 or another bombing at a public event, the NSA wants to make sure that nobody in Yemen or Iran has me on speed-dial, they have my permission to keep tabs on my calls. To me, it’s as sensible as the cops keeping an eye on me all those years ago. I just wish the NSA had the power to do something about those damn telemarketers who keep ringing me up on an hourly basis.

As for those who are terrified that Obama is going to round them up and toss them into what the North Vietnamese used to call re-education camps, I suggest they use me the way coal miners use canaries to check for poison gas fumes. So long as I, who have devoted five years of articles and six months of weekly webcasts to insulting Obama, am still walking around loose, you probably have nothing to worry about.

Finally, we shouldn’t let Helen Thomas’s passing at 92 go unnoticed. For my part, when I heard the news, I suddenly found myself whistling “Ding-Dong, the Witch is Dead”!

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com

Friday, August 9, 2013

EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Apparently the Washington, D.C, city council took a page from Jesse Jackson’s extortionist playbook. Even though 73% of the city’s population was excited at the prospect of Wal-Mart coming to town and employing over 1,800 residents, the Council, by an 8-5 vote, decided that the giant retailer would first have to agree to pay $4-an-hour over the national minimum wage.

As a result, Wal-Mart is now re-considering the move, even though they had already begun construction on three of the five proposed outlets. The Council voted as it did because it was more important to serve the unions than the people. But I’m not wasting too much sympathy on Washingtonians. If urban morons insist on constantly electing and re-electing Democrats, they deserve to suffer the inevitable consequences of their dimwittedness.

I’m reminded of a photo someone recently sent me of a mini-mall taken in 2012. Starting on the left was a storefront devoted to re-electing Obama, offering bumper stickers and yard signs. Next door was an outfit offering assistance to those filing for bankruptcy. Next in line was a lawyer specializing in divorce, and next to that was a liquor store. The photo was captioned “A Natural Progression.” I have no idea if there was another business along the corridor, but, if so, it would have been fitting if it had been a mortuary.

In the aftermath of the Zimmerman verdict, the NAACP, along with the more craven members of the media, have engaged in deriding the defendant as a wannabe cop, while basically ignoring the fact that Trayvon Martin had been regularly suspended from high school for violence, vandalism and drug use. Apparently in some quarters, it is shameful to want to work in law enforcement, but laudable to be a law-breaker.

Another absurdity that comes to mind is that white people are labeled racists if they merely agree with the Sanford jury’s verdict, but nobody is even supposed to raise an eyebrow over the teenage thug’s referring to George Zimmerman as a “creepy-ass cracker” and telling his girlfriend, Rachel Jeantel, that “the n----r is following me.”

The news elsewhere isn’t much better. In Kabul, Afghanistan, the U.S. military is planning to tear down a $34 million installation prior to our pulling out. It seems the military commanders in Kabul had determined as early as 2010 that there was no reason for the facility to be built, but the Pentagon has never met a dollar -- let alone 34 million of them -- it could resist spending.

Not to be outdone, the State Department spent $80 million for a 10-year lease on a consulate in Northern Afghanistan that will never be used.

One might hope the president would put his foot down, just the way he did when he cancelled the White House tours. But inasmuch as he just spent $100 million on a family vacation in Africa, I guess he’s in no position to put his foot down too hard.

When I recently suggested executing all the terrorists locked up in Guantanamo and then selling the facility to Donald Trump so he could build a hotel, people thought I was joshing. I wasn’t. Nobody wants to take these creeps off our hands and no state in the union wants to incarcerate them within its borders, so why are we keeping them around? Worse yet, when they go on hunger strikes, why are we force-feeding them, and why am I the only person who sees starvation as the perfect solution?

As for Trump, I’m sure I can get him aboard. After all, he already offered to turn the house of ill-repute, otherwise known as the U.N., into a hotel, so I’m sure he’d be happy to transform Gitmo into an island resort.

Finally, I must confess I was unhappy to see Iran elect a new president. For one thing, everybody knows the loony mullahs run the asylum, and presidential elections don’t alter that fact. For another, I hate having to start over with Hasan Rowhani just when I’d finally learned to spell Ahmadinejad.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



BurtPrelutsky.com