Monday, September 30, 2013

THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A REPUBLICAN, Bonus: CONNECTING THE DOLTS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

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by Burt Prelutsky

There are times when I can’t help wishing I were a Democrat. It certainly would have helped my writing career. I mean, look at the folks who make a handsome living for no other reason than that they’re liberals. I’m not even referring to politicians. Obviously, the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson Lee, Henry Waxman and Barbara Boxer, would be begging at freeway off-ramps and sleeping under bridges in a logical world. But I’m talking about all those others.

For instance, look at the folks who become liberal icons. There are the folks, like Bill Maher and Kathy Griffin, who get to pass themselves off as comedians by merely making crass remarks about people such as George Bush and Sarah Palin.

Then there are those, such as Sandra Fluke, Texas State Senator Wendy Davis and Lena Dunham, who have achieved heroine status by arguing that colleges should provide their students with free contraception, that abortions should be legal long after the five month deadline has come and gone, and produced a 2012 political ad that suggested that voting for Obama was the same as having sex for the first time. And Ms. Dunham was not suggesting that it might be both painful and embarrassing.

On the other hand, here am I, even after six books and nearly 1300 articles making the case for conservatism, but Rush Limbaugh has never heard of me, Drudge doesn’t include my blog with the 500 others he finds space to promote at his Report and even after spending months trying every which way I could to offer my writing services to the Romney campaign, I never even received a rejection.

What’s more, I have never been invited on Fox. Heck, if I were a liberal, I would probably have my own show on MSNBC and get to hang out with Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow and Al Sharpton. Okay, I grant there are worse things in life than flying below the radar.

Speaking of those who lie for a living, I keep hearing that Iran’s new president, Hassan Rhumani, is waging a charm offensive. Amazing what some people regard as charm. This is the same guy who bragged that Iran was able to con the West while continuing to enrich uranium while racing to manufacture a nuclear bomb. Now we have Assad and Putin playing us for a sucker two years after the pretender in the White House swore that Assad’s days were numbered. What he didn’t disclose, now that I think of it, was the number he had in mind.

You have to give these schmucks a certain amount of credit. After all, it can’t be as easy as it looks for Rhumani to say that Iran is an anchor of stability in the Middle East with a straight face. I’m guessing he’s been perfecting his act by watching tapes of Jay Carney.

In one of those examples of divine justice, a Sikh doctor who lives and works in Harlem, was attacked by a gang of black teenagers who broke his jaw and knocked out several of his teeth, all the while calling him “Osama.” He is known, but apparently not to everyone, as a man who has spoken and written extensively about white racism.

A reader of mine, Bill Rosenfeld, has observed that “Instead of capitalism, what we have under Obama is capitolism.”

Finally, this administration is so awful, they even have to lie when it comes to merely naming their legislation. For instance, take the Affordable Care Act. Please. As more and more people are discovering, their health insurance costs are doubling and even tripling. As for Obama’s promise that people who are happy with their insurance plans could keep them, April 1st came early.

What I’d like to know is why unions that are never shy about demonstrating their resentment — remember their trashing the state capital when Gov. Scott Walker and the legislature voted to cut collective bargaining rights for Wisconsin’s public sector union members? — but when Obama nixes the Keystone pipeline, costing thousands of union jobs, and pushes ObamaCare, which is playing havoc with the traditional 40-hour work week, they don’t even set up picket lines outside the White House.

What a bunch of partisan pansies! Can you imagine their rolling over this way if a Republican was pulling this stuff?

Jimmy Hoffa, Sr., must be spinning in his grave, wherever that happens to be, when he sees what a doofus little Jimmy, Jr., has turned out to be.

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CONNECTING THE DOLTS


Charles Dickens famously opened “A Tale of Two Cities” with “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” If I were writing an updated version, I would announce it is the worst of times. Wherever you turn, you are confronted by journalists, politicians and just plain folks, who make you ashamed to be a member of the same species.

These days, America is divided between the useful idiots who believe everything they read in the NY Times or hear from Obama and the useless idiots they elect to fill the seats in the House and Senate.

Primary schools used to be places of learning not only one’s ABCs, but what it means to be an American and the debt we all owe to guys named Washington, Jefferson, Adams and Hamilton. But ever since the liberals took control of the teachers unions, and the unions gained control of the schools, they’ve been turned into laboratories of social engineering where everything from busing children across town to schools miles away from home to so-called sex education classes are conducted on the little guinea pigs.

On top of all that, the government has decided it’s their job to provide the kids with breakfast, lunch and, in some cases, even dinner. It doesn’t really take a village to raise a child; it only takes Marxists like Bill and Hillary to say it does, although you notice they didn’t allow Chelsea to be raised by some damn village.

Others have pointed out that we are all supposed to experience moral outrage because al-Assad used sarin gas to kill 1,400 Syrians, which for some reason was supposed to trump the 120,000 who had died through such conventional means as bullets and bombs. Others have pointed out that although 300 of the victims were children, many of the same bunch that want us to involve ourselves in a civil war involving Muslims have no problem with Planned Parenthood performing 300,000 abortions every year.

Speaking of which, I expect that someday a murderer is going to stand up in court and say in his own defense, “Of course I killed him, but that was my choice.” If he has the right jury – say 12 women from NOW – he just might beat the rap.

We keep hearing George Santayana’s line -- the one about people not learning from history being doomed to repeat it -- being tossed around. Possibly because I have studied history, I never thought very much of the quip. What history really tells us is that most people never learn anything. As for those of us who do, we tend to be powerless against the greedy and ignorant mob because of their sheer numbers.

I also thought it was the height of hypocrisy for Lincoln to say that God must have loved the common man because he made so many of them. But I suppose when one is seeking to win an election, it doesn’t hurt to butter up the typical voter. I just don’t think it’s fair to blame God for all the ignoramuses.

If you want to get a clear picture of the common man, you only have to look at how hard the Democrats have to work to get those folks to vote on Election Day. They have to do everything but get their lazy butts out of bed and give them piggyback rides down to the polling place. The Democrats pretend that it’s the lack of photo IDs that keep the riffraff from voting. But even when the louts are provided with food, housing and free cell phones, in return for their votes, the majority choose to stay home and watch re-runs of “Good Times.”

It used to be my feeling that if you only got to know people as individuals, you would always find a better reason to despise them than their race, religion or odd sexual proclivity. But these days, so many blacks, Muslims and homosexuals, have adopted a position of moral superiority combined with an insufferable sense of entitlement, I no longer feel that way.

In case you missed it, because a bakery in Gresham, Oregon, refused to bake a cake celebrating a lesbian marriage, its owner, Aaron Klein, has been forced to close its doors. Not only were the members of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community, a group that the creatures congregated at the bar in “Star Wars” would find bizarre, demonstrating outside the shop, but they were threatening to kill him and his kids. They also threatened repercussions to the local florists and wedding planners if they continued to work with Mr. Klein. Naturally, Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries, having nothing better to do, threatened to launch an investigation. Not into the criminal actions of the sexual freaks, but into Mr. Klein’s refusal to ignore his religious convictions.

The irony is that the place was called Sweet Cakes by Melissa, which sounds like a place that would appeal to the LGBT crowd. Come to think of it, perhaps they were attracted by the name in the first place, and then felt betrayed in a way they wouldn’t have been if Mr. Klein had simply called it Klein’s Bakery.

Finally, consider the fallout from ObamaCare. Although no groups outside Obama’s inner circle fought harder to get it passed, today the Catholic Church, labor unions and Hollywood, are all lined up in opposition. The Church discovered that tucked away in the 2,500 pages of the Affordable Care Act were words that demanded it provide contraception to its employees. The unions discovered that the law would make hash of the traditional 40-hour workweek and encourage employers to stop providing insurance. As for Hollywood, it found that the law would lead to a loss of thousands of jobs in the industry.

All I can say is that there’s a lot to be said for poetic justice even if it doesn’t always rhyme.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Friday, September 27, 2013

IF I WERE PRESIDENT

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Let it be understood that I don't want to be President, and for a variety of reasons. For one thing, I don’t like pomp. At state dinners, I would probably fall asleep even before the soup plates were cleared away. For another, I don’t like dressing up. I don’t recall the last time I wore a necktie, and the next time will probably be at my funeral, when I won’t have any say in the matter and I won’t have to tie the darn thing.

I also wouldn’t want to have to spend all my time with whatever dunce wound up being my vice president, and I certainly wouldn’t want to confab, as they say, with politicians. The ones in my own party would be bad enough, but having to be civil to the likes of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Sheila Jackson Lee and Dick Durbin, would be calling for the impossible.

For another thing, I am short and bald, and while I wouldn’t say I possess an excessive amount of vanity -- and why would I, being short and bald? – I really wouldn’t want to see my shortcomings magnified on a daily basis by 500 political cartoonists.

Then there’s the matter of political division in this country. For no other reason than that there was an “R” after my name, millions of people who had never even met me would hate me. I mean, millions of his fellow Americans hated Ronald Reagan, and God knows he was much more personable than I am.

All of that being said, even I have fantasized being the commander-in-chief.

And although I generally get hung up at the point where I picture myself in the Oval Office wearing tennis shorts and sneakers, I know there are certain things I would do if I had the authority.

For openers, I would get America out of the United Nations, and I would get the U.N. out of America. There are about 200 nations in the organization and, outside of a dozen or so, I wouldn’t give two cents for any of them. The very idea of not only belonging to it, but providing most of the wherewithal to keep the thing afloat is obscene. Everyone yammers about its moral authority, but this is an organization whose members include the likes of Cuba, China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Venezuela, Cambodia, Syria, Yemen, Zimbabwe, Gambia, Turkmenistan and North Korea. Hell, the Mafia has higher standards than that.

For good measure, Russia sits on the Security Council, and thus has the power to say nyet to any measure that fails to meet with Vladimir Putin’s approval.

Next on my agenda, I would revoke the right of federal employees to have a union. Even FDR, who put into practice everything that perennial Socialist presidential candidate Norman Thomas preached, knew the very idea of unionizing civil servants was insane. Previously, the trade-off for bureaucrats was that they would have security so long as they did their job, and not have to compete in the marketplace. Even Mr. Thomas could not have envisioned an America where it would not only be nearly impossible to fire civil servants, but where they would receive higher salaries, bigger pensions and better health care, than the people whose taxes keep them in beer and skittles, as the old expression goes.

Finally, I would vow at my inauguration to never engage in a military action in which I had any other intention but to crush the enemy. I would never send a message to an enemy. I would never send a shot across the bow. Although I would only fight a war when I felt I absolutely had to, I would put the safety of my troops before my concerns about the enemy suffering so-called collateral damage.

As for the weapons I’d use, I don’t happen to believe that military weaponry have morals. Like handguns and rifles, it all depends on who’s using them and for what purpose. My idea of an immoral war is one fought to a draw, not one in which chemical weapons or nuclear bombs are used.

Instead of fighting Iran by proxy in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria, I would have nuked Tehran a long time ago. The nice thing about opposing a dictatorship is that if you kill the tyrant, you’ve accomplished your mission. The problem we have is this gentleman’s agreement among national leaders that it’s okay to lose a million soldiers in combat, but we mustn’t harm a hair on the head of the guy who’s the real problem.

Many people feel that the lesson to be learned from the atom bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was that such weapons must never again be used. I feel that the real lesson is that no democratic republic should ever refrain from using whatever weapons it possesses. That’s because the real sin is to allow a war to last one more day than it has to.

Besides, whereas nuclear strikes on Tehran, Moscow and Pyongyang, would bring a quick end to a war with Iran, Russia and North Korea, if an enemy ever wiped out Washington, D.C., not only would some of us be leading the applause, but they would still have to deal with Florida and Virginia, Oklahoma and Illinois, Wyoming and California, Oregon, Utah and Alaska.

And by the time the poor schmucks got to Texas, they’d wish they’d never been born.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

PICASSO, CATS & POLITICS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Recently, it occurred to me that when we say certain painters are great, we’re generally only parroting what others have told us. I, personally, don’t happen to care for Picasso, Gauguin or Van Gogh. Their subjects held no interest for me. But even if they did, does that make any of their canvases worth millions of dollars on the open market?

Tell an art critic that you prefer Norman Rockwell’s magazine covers to Degas, and he’d have you horsewhipped in the public square as a self-admitted Philistine. But why is a painting of water lilies superior to an amusing depiction of a small town barber or a boy and his dog?

Why is a painting of young ballet dancers a work of art and a memorable magazine illustration is mere kitsch?

It’s true that in the other fields of artistic endeavor, the so-called experts might insist that “Moby Dick,” “Walden” and “Heart of Darkness,” are better than I happen to think they are or, for that matter, that atonal music is anything but noise, still most of us feel ourselves qualified to disagree if we’ve read the books or suffered through a John Cage concert. But when the art experts, most of whom are in a position to turn a profit if enough people accept their pronouncements as gospel, tell us that Andy Warhol or Roy Lichtenstein were geniuses, we’re expected to swallow the swill and ask for seconds.

If I ran things, I’d counter art appreciation classes with those devoted to art depreciation. The purpose wouldn’t be to sink the resale market for Gauguin’s Polynesian maidens or Van Gogh’s sunflowers, but to encourage people to think for themselves.

Whether it’s called Social Security or ObamaCare, politicians love Ponzi schemes for the very same reason that con men do. That is to say, all the problems occur down the road. With any luck at all, the inevitable flaws won’t show themselves until the politicians are retired or better yet, dead.

In the case of Social Security, when it first began, most people didn’t live to be 65. As a result, there were over 30 working people paying in to the system to support one retiree. But between the fact that people began living longer and thus retiring in greater numbers, and millions of people lying their way onto the disability rolls, it now requires about two-and-a-half workers to support me.

The difference between Social Security and ObamaCare is that it’s not taking most people 30 or 40 years to recognize it as a disaster. Only those who see it as a free ride are in favor of it. That’s why opinion polls only show 55-60% of Americans opposing the program when everyone but members of Congress and those who have been granted waivers should oppose the feds devouring a sixth of the economy at a single gobble.

But it is always that way with con games. The only difference between what the federal government does and what a con man does is that he stands the risk of jail time. But, really, did any of those people scammed by Bernie Madoff not suspect that they were indulging in a high stakes pyramid scheme? I mean, I am anything but a financial maven, but how savvy do you have to be to sniff out something rotten in Denmark -- or in this case, New York City – when some putz is promising you a 20 or 30% return on your investment?

Finally, let’s start telling the whole truth about cats. I agree they can be cute and entertaining, but they get away with almost as much skullduggery as Democrats. Their owners always pretend that when their pets drop half a dead mouse at their feet, it’s a love offering.

If that’s what they choose to believe, that’s their business. But if that’s the case, how is that their little feline friends never offer to share their Meow Mix or tuna fish?


©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
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North Hills, CA 91343-3604

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

HELL ON EARTH

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

I have always felt that when politicians clamor for work projects, instead of focusing on roads and bridges, they should be mentioning prisons. We never seem to have enough of them. As a result, felons are constantly being released before finishing their sentences.

And whereas liberals are always insisting that civilized nations shouldn’t have so many people incarcerated, the truth, as usual, is they’re wrong. So long as those behind bars are there because they’ve committed actual felonies, and aren’t there because of their political or religious beliefs, there is no ideal number or percentage of people who should be locked up. If you’re in jail, it’s proof that you’re uncivilized, not that society is.

For my part, I believe that any judge who shows leniency to murderers, rapists and pedophiles, should be removed from the bench. I also believe that any defense attorney who succeeds in springing a defendant only to see the thug go out and repeat his crime should be indicted as an accessory. Furthermore, I think parole boards should disappear. The very notion of taking time off a sentence for so-called good behavior is a perversion of justice. Time off for not robbing a bank, stealing a car or raping a child, while behind bars? Time off for making his cot or eating all his peas? Instead, the system should simply add years for misbehavior.

Age limits are another absurd part of our legal system. But we’re not alone. In India, a gang of six raped and murdered a 23-year-old woman. The first defendant was recently tried and found guilty. He received the maximum sentence, but because he’s 17, the maximum sentence was three years in a juvenile facility. Three years for rape and murder?! What’s more, the chances are he would have received a similar sentence over here.

The fashion magazines like to say that 70 is the new 60 and 60 is the new 50, but it also works in reverse. Thanks to a society that encourages young girls to enter beauty contests when they’re five years old, promotes so-called sex education classes and the distribution of condoms to junior high students, and spends more time trying to disarm hunters than young thugs, 12 and 13 is the new 30.

Someone should come out with a book titled “Foreign Policy for Dummies,” and send a copy to Barack Obama. Starting with his mea culpa on behalf of the United States in Cairo four years ago, he hasn’t done a single thing that didn’t suggest we had a rank and stupid amateur as our head of state.

Whether it was leading from behind in Libya; insisting that Israel stop building apartment houses for their citizens and to pull back to pre-1967 borders in order to facilitate phony peace talks with Arab terrorists; announcing a surge in Afghanistan while at the same time announcing a date of withdrawal; breaking our promise to Poland and the Czech Republic to provide them with a missile defense system in order to placate Russia; or announcing that if al-Assad crossed the red line by using chemical weapons on Syrians, he would suffer dire consequences, and then repeating the same threat after he had crossed it a second time, Obama has shown himself to be incapable of performing on the world stage any more competently than he does here at home. Frankly, I am still looking for a job that isn’t above his pay grade.

On top of everything else, even when he was announcing a strike on Syria, he promised it would be swift and painless -- sort of like when the dentist is about to give you a shot of Novocain -- and shouldn’t be interpreted as an attempt to bring about regime change.

In the two weeks he spent futzing around before he finally decided he would leave it up to Congress to take the heat, Syria had successfully moved its weaponry out of harm’s way and allegedly moved political prisoners to airports and armories, using them as human shields. God forbid we should ever attack without warning!

What I don’t see Obama doing, although I suspect it would play fairly well with everyone except, perhaps, those last few subscribers to the NY Times, would be to resign from the U.N. How many more times do we have to go, hat in hand, to those creeps asking for a united action only to have Russia or China veto it? Heck, if we quit and stopped subsidizing the U.N., we’d not only save a few bucks, but we could stop pretending that the likes of Susan Rice and Samantha Power are qualified to do anything beyond overseeing a PTA bake sale.

Finally, I heard a prominent Protestant minister on the radio last week. When the host asked him why so few evangelical pastors seemed willing to speak out on social issues, such as same sex marriages, he said that most of them are afraid of being labeled right-wingers by those on the left.

Once I understood he was being serious, I had to laugh. Assuming he knows what he’s talking about, someone should explain to those demented souls that so far as run-of-the-mill Marxists are concerned, there’s only one thing worse than being a conservative, and that’s being an evangelical.

If they don’t even know that much, perhaps I’ve stumbled upon the reason that church attendance is plummeting.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Friday, September 20, 2013

HOLLYWOOD: A STATE OF MIND

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

When Comedian Ken Murray first came to Los Angeles, it was the late 1920s and he was a member of a vaudeville troupe. Luckily, he brought with him a movie camera because he was a star-struck fan, and wished to share his experiences with the folks back in New York.

In the beginning, he would film any actor or actress he came across. As his own career developed and his circle of acquaintances widened over the next 40 years, he eventually captured anyone who was anyone in what he came to refer to as his hometown.

Because his circle came to include the likes of Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Laurel and Hardy, Clark Gable, Walt Disney, Rita Hayworth, Charlie Chaplin, Cary Grant and William Randolph Hearst, all happily mugging for his hand-held camera, his little home movies eventually became a series of TV specials.

When you see his films of life in the movie capital, it all looks so normal and light-hearted, it’s easy to forget about the gangsters and communists who fought for control of the Hollywood unions in the 30s. You could forget that the studio bosses caved in to German demands that Hitler not be portrayed in an honest light or that in spite of their pious statements about democracy, they first allowed left-wingers to deny employment to conservatives before allowing right-wingers to do the same to left-wingers. These days, they are back to denying employment to conservatives, while at the same time preventing aging writers and directors, whatever their political leaning, from working.

For me, it came as a shock to read in Ben Shapiro’s “Primetime Propaganda” that producers I had worked with and in a few cases been friends with, now insist that they would never work with conservatives, not merely because they regarded them as racists, fascists and that old standby, homophobes, but because conservatives are untalented.

Although there is no group of people more opposed to the Second Amendment than the folks in Hollywood, if you removed weaponry from their movies and TV shows, the town would have to shut down. If the industry had its make-believe handguns, rifles and bazookas, confiscated, the studios would be turned into trailer parks and the biggest stars would have to go back to busing tables, parking cars and hooking.

It’s hard to decide whether the most prevalent of Hollywood’s multitude of sins is fear or hypocrisy. At the same time that they establish their political bona fides by openly expressing their contempt for conservatives, they shy away from depicting Islamic jihadists as the bad guys in their movies. The villain is most likely to be the head of the CIA, a rogue two star general, a corrupt police chief or a businessman. It would have been like making movies during the 40s, but instead of waging war on Nazis and the Japanese, John Wayne, Randolph Scott, John Garfield, Alan Ladd and Humphrey Bogart, had spent all their screen time in deadly hand-to-hand combat with pickpockets and muggers.

Speaking of screen time, something I have never understood is why, back when Hollywood was still producing musicals, original product, including such classics as “Gigi,” “An American in Paris,” “Meet Me in St. Louis,” “Cover Girl,” “7 Brides for 7 Brothers,” “”Blue Skies,” “Holiday Inn” and “Singin’ in the Rain,” all ran a zippy 100-113 minutes. However, when it came to adapting stage musicals, movies such as “Carousel,” “South Pacific,” “Guys and Dolls,” “Oliver!” “West Side Story,” “The Music Man,” “Fiddler on the Roof,” “Annie,” “Finian’s Rainbow,” “Paint Your Wagon,” “Camelot,” “Oklahoma,” “My Fair Lady,” “Man of La Mancha,” “Evita,” “Les Miz” and “The Sound of Music,” all lumbered in between 128 and 181 minutes, while averaging a snoozy two hours and 33 minutes.

The mystery is that on screen, they were all longer and slower than they were when they ran on Broadway or the West End. In fact, you couldn’t in all honesty use the verb “ran” when referring to the screen versions. In the main, what they did was lurch, limp and crawl, to an untimely end.

By contrast, the scintillating musicals that Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers churned out for RKO, such as “Top Hat,” “Swing Time” and “The Gay Divorcee,” averaged a spritely hour-forty. Their movies made you want to get up and dance.

Today, between the movies based on comic books, the slacker comedies and the ones dedicated to the notion that America is the single greatest menace to peace, freedom and Mother Nature, they only make you want to get up and leave.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

LISTEN UP REPUBLICANS

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Because I do my level best to avoid liberals, most of the political arguments I get into are with my fellow conservatives. As a rule, it comes down to my being willing to vote for any Republican on the general ballot. In the primaries, I will always favor the one furthest to the right. But if he or she loses, I will vote for the last Republican standing.

The folks I argue with are the ones who would rather sit out an election than vote for a Republican who fails the litmus test. It does no good to point out that even Reagan wouldn’t be able to pass the test in 2013. After all, he raised our state taxes twice when he was governor, and even signed the most liberal abortion bill in America. As president, when amnesty was still merely a glint in John McCain’s eye, Reagan, who made such a big thing out of trusting but verifying when dealing with the Soviet Union, turned into a flounder, and fell, hook, line and sinker, for the bait when the Democrats swore to shut down the border.

As I see it, it’s fine to seek the perfect candidate, so long as you understand he doesn’t exist, except in your dreams. It’s like seeking the perfect woman, and thinking you’ve found her, only to discover that, unfortunately, she happens to be seeking the perfect man.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when the San Diego City Council voted unanimously to pay most of Mayor Filner’s legal expenses in exchange for his resigning. The recall process was already well underway, and there was no reason to strike the deal. Once he was out of office, half of San Diego’s female population would have been free to sue the old letch for sexual harassment and not have it cost the taxpayers a dime.

But that’s what you can expect when politicians are given carte blanche to spend other people’s money. If I had my way, it would be the law that before taking office, every politician would have to sign a binding agreement absolving the taxpayers of any financial responsibility accruing from his malfeasance. These schmucks not only screw us, but we wind up having to pay for the privilege.

That reminds me, how can we expect to wean people off welfare when in 35 states, welfare payments exceed minimum wage? In Hawaii, a lout can collect the equivalent of a $60,000-a-year salary just for breathing. Breeding pays extra.

About 15 years ago, I wrote a spec screenplay in which a jihadist plots to blow up a skyscraper. I wasn’t entirely prescient. I set the scene in Chicago. At the time, my agent claimed she was shopping it around. I should have known better than to believe her. There’s a reason, after all, that used car salesmen look down on Hollywood agents.

It wasn’t until after 9/11 that I found out she hadn’t bothered showing it to anyone. A new agent did set up a few meetings with producers, but nothing came of them. Finally, I asked my agent what the purpose of the meetings was. He explained that they wanted to meet me and have me meet them, because they had liked the writing, but knew they’d never be able to sell a script in which Muslims were shown to be cold-blooded killers. And, as I say, this was after we saw those planes crashing into the twin towers and witnessed our fellow Americans leaping off the rooftops rather than perish in the flames.

At the same time, we constantly heard our president and secretary of state insisting that Islam was a religion of peace. What they never got around to telling us was which religions they thought were the really bad ones. After all, if Islam was noteworthy because it was so doggone peaceful, it had to have been the exception to some that weren’t. And how is it that nobody ever felt it necessary to remind us of the peaceful nature of Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism or Shintoism?

I, for one, am looking forward to the 2016 Democratic Convention when I anticipate Bob Filner, Anthony Weiner, Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton, will take the stage to berate us Republicans for our endless war on women.

Finally, it appears that the soap opera involving Bradley Manning isn’t going to be ending anytime soon. It seems he is now demanding that the Army pay for a gender change. The question in my mind ever since I first set eyes on the little weasel is just how hard up is the U.S. military that it would accept the little putz into its ranks. Even the Mafia has higher recruiting standards than that.

I mean, it’s one thing to do away with the Clintonian policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but it’s another to open the doors to someone who looks like he got lost on his way to a Gay Mascots Parade.

I just hope that the Army doesn’t fall for this ploy and allow Bradley Manning to get his wish and become Chelsea Manning. The expense aside, wouldn’t it be just like some shyster lawyer to demand his release on the grounds that Chelsea Manning had never served in the Army and, therefore, had never leaked classified documents to Julian Assange?

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
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Monday, September 16, 2013

INEVITABLE CONSEQUENCES

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

One of my favorite God stories involves the guy named Harry who sought shelter on the roof of his house during a flood. When a fellow with a boat rowed by and offered to take him to higher ground, Harry turned him down, explaining that God would provide. His response was the same to the next two guys who rowed by. He was still perched on his roof when nightfall came and the storm resumed. When he woke up, drenched, in Heaven, he asked God why He had failed to rescue him. God said, “What are you talking about? I sent three boats.”

I think the story works better if God refers to Harry as a darn fool, but I wouldn’t want to offend anyone who thinks God shouldn’t say “darn.”

What put me in mind of that story is the recent strike called by fast food workers who are convinced their pay should be doubled to $15-an-hour by Wendy’s, McDonald’s and the other fast food chains I read one interview after another of the strikers who not only never attended college or a trade school, but dropped out of high school because they were lazy, stupid or pregnant. But now they have two or three kids at home, and they feel oppressed by a capitalist society that’s telling them in no uncertain terms that they have no marketable skills.

I’m sure there are people who feel sorry for them. I don’t. I feel sorry for their children, although I have reason to suspect they’re going to be the muggers, car thieves, rapists and killers, of tomorrow.

The people I really feel sorry for are those who are doing all the right things having to help support those who have made sure they will never be any higher on the food chain than when they’re asking if you want fries with your burger.

Raising the minimum wage inevitably leads to increased unemployment for unskilled workers. But liberal politicians are always pushing for it because they know that the typical liberal voter will see it as an act of compassion, ignoring the fact it’s downright criminal to promote the lie that a minimum wage was ever intended to be a living wage.

Lyndon Johnson’s War on Poverty, like every other war we’ve waged since 1945, has been an unmitigated disaster. We fought poverty, and poverty won. His welfare policy singlehandedly destroyed the black family, giving black men the impetus to leave their women and children to fend for themselves. It’s a shame that Johnson didn’t wage the war in Vietnam with the same vigor and success.

I have often wondered where Obama finds all the dunderheads to fill leadership roles in his administration. Is there a factory in Duluth that turns out people like Interior Secretary Sally Jewell, who recently opened an address by looking out over the audience and saying: “I hope there are no climate change deniers here.” Naturally, there were none. Just as there is never a single person in any group that Obama addresses who’s opposed to the Affordable Care Act.

I’m still hearing from people who are taking me to task over my defense of the NSA. What people fail to grasp is that I understand that the agency has the potential to behave badly. What I am waiting for is proof that they have. I simply don’t understand why anyone believes that a program to collect the phone numbers of Americans who are receiving calls from Yemen or Iran is cause for alarm. I understand that for some reason people are terrified that their numbers are also being collected. It just seems reasonable that when you’re panning for gold, you’re inevitably going to have to wash away a lot of unnecessary sand and grit.

It would also help me if I had a handle on what these people are worried the government will find out about them. But of course if they don’t want the NSA to know, they sure don’t want to tell me. Everyone knows I can’t keep a secret.

But what I find truly confounding is that while these people are very open about wanting the NSA shut down, they don’t say anything about shutting down the Pentagon. Compared to the NSA, the Army has been a virtual cesspool.

After all, it wasn’t the NSA that chose to ignore the fact that Major Nidal Hasan was doing everything short of petitioning the federal government to make Osama bin Laden’s birthday a national holiday. The Army not only didn’t throw his jihadist ass in the brig before he had a chance to murder and maim dozens of his fellow soldiers, they kept promoting him!

As if that’s not bad enough, they not only welcomed Bradley Manning into the U.S. Army in spite of the fact that he was a homosexual dying to be turned into a woman -- and just how crazy is that? – but they gave him, a mere private, access to a ton of classified information.

So it seems to me that while you’re all waiting for the NSA to show us a smoking gun, you should be demanding a full investigation of the apple-polishing, medal-wearing, political hacks in the military who are obviously more concerned with job security than national security.

And, finally, just in case I haven’t mentioned it before, it strikes me that hockey is soccer on ice skates.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
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Friday, September 13, 2013

YOUNG FATHERLESS ELEPHANTS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Thanks to the cold-blooded murders in Oklahoma and Washington, black teenage thugs have been much in the news lately. But they’ve been newsworthy for quite a while now. It wasn’t that long ago that gangs of them ran wild in Philadelphia, forcing even the black mayor to denounce them. More recently, they ran amok here in California, looting and mugging in L.A. and in Long Beach. And we mustn’t overlook the record number of people they’ve been gunning down in the mean streets of Chicago.

What’s easy to forget, especially if you’re a liberal, is that it’s all an inevitable consequence of Lyndon Johnson’s policies. It was he and his stooges in Congress that made welfare to black women conditional on there not being a man on the premises. With a swipe of his presidential pen, Johnson ended black families, as America had known them. Until he put his welfare policy in place, the rate of marriages was higher among blacks than among whites. From 1890 on, the great majority of black children were raised in two parent homes.

I know that feminists and homosexuals think that the traditional family structure is archaic, but the evidence is all on the other side. Unmarried, generally uneducated women, raising children, especially male children, is a blueprint for disaster, and we have the crime and poverty statistics to prove it.

Years ago, I saw a TV documentary that drove the point home. It seems that game wardens on an African animal preserve started coming across the crushed and bloody carcasses of rhinos. They were at a loss to determine who was responsible and they couldn’t come up with a motive. As I recall, they finally resorted to placing cameras in the trees.

What they discovered astonished and repelled them. It seems that a sizable herd of young elephants were doing the killing. Like the three creeps down in Oklahoma who murdered the Australian jogger because they were bored, the elephants had no other motivation than that they felt like it.

It had nothing to do with turf or food or water. What it had to do with, the wardens realized, was that the bull elephants in the area had all been massacred by ivory hunters. Once they knew the problem, unlike our cowardly politicians and the race card hustlers who have spent half a century cashing in on LBJ’s legacy, they went about solving the problem.

They had a two-fold approach. One, they shot the leader of the young rogue elephants, convinced he was beyond saving. Two, they brought in a number of bull elephants to straighten out the rest of the gang. It didn’t take them all that long to set a good example. Like good fathers everywhere, they instilled discipline and showed the young ones how elephants are supposed to behave.

With the illegitimacy rate in the black community holding steady at about 73%, it shouldn’t be too surprising that the young creeps have decided they get to make the rules. And however much it benefits race hustlers to blame the plight of blacks on Caucasian bigots and to portray blacks as the innocent victims of prejudice and oppression, white people should not allow themselves to be confused with white hunters.

While it’s true that Lyndon Johnson did what he did because, as he said at the time, dependency would ensure that blacks -- although that wasn’t the word he used -- would vote for Democrats for the next 200 years, whites, it should be noted, haven’t trekked into the wilds of Detroit, Atlanta, Chicago, Newark and Philadelphia, and shot all the bulls.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

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Burt Prelutsky
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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A SECOND DAY OF INFAMY

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

It's been twelve years since the Islamic faithful inadvertently brought down the twin towers. I say inadvertently because nobody was more surprised than Osama bin Laden when jet planes crashed into the tops of New York skyscrapers and brought the buildings tumbling down. Because he had no idea how thousands of gallons of burning jet fuel would work on steel girders, he had only imagined he would send a message by murdering a few hundred office workers and airplane passengers.

For that sick puke, murdering 3,000 civilians was like buying a single ticket and winning the Powerball lottery.

As horrific as 9/11 was, we’ve had a succession of truly vile days since. To begin with, we had to listen to American Muslims whining about being racially profiled. It was particularly obnoxious when we discovered that the FBI had to step in and stop them from continuing to fund Hamas, Hezbollah and the rest of the Middle Eastern scumbags, under the pretense that they were making charitable contributions to schools and hospitals.

At the time, I wrote that if Muslims in America wanted to prove that their loyalty was to this country and not to the jihadists, all they had to do was pass the hat at their neighborhood mosques and come up with a sizable reward for Osama bin Laden, dead or alive. It never happened, and as a result every time I heard George Bush or Condoleezza Rice telling us that Islam was a religion of peace, my gag reflex was activated.

The true extent that political correctness dictated policy was on display at every airport in America when 25-year-old Muslim males were treated no differently than 75-year-old Lutheran grannies. If anything, Homeland Security agents were more likely to frisk the old lady because nobody was likely to lose his job if she complained.

Along with everything else, things only got worse once Obama was elected. He not only went on a barnstorming tour of the Middle East, pretty much adding his voice to the chorus of mullahs condemning us as the Big Satan. He went to Cairo and delivered a speech that appeased our enemies and confounded our allies. He even went so far as to state that Muslims had played a major role in the creation of our nation, only stopping short of mentioning the unforgettable contributions of Mohammed Washington, Abdullah Jefferson and Osama bin Hamilton.

It only took him another four years before he deigned to visit Israel, and even that only came after he voiced strong objections to Israel erecting apartment houses in their own country and parroting Islamic demands that they draw back to pre-1967 borders.

In the meantime, we have seen Obama’s choice for head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, insisting that our security system worked like a charm just because incompetence prevented major terrorist acts taking place in Times Square and over the skies of Detroit.

An Army Major at Fort Hood who owed his allegiance to Allah murdered a slew of his fellow soldiers, and the White House dismissed it as workplace violence. A couple of Chechen brothers whose family should never have been granted political asylum in the first place murdered and maimed a large number of Boston marathoners, and there’s not even a move to belatedly deport the family.

We didn’t have a problem telling the truth about the Germans, the Japanese or the Russians, when they were our acknowledged enemies. Apparently, their glaring mistake was in not pretending that our differences were religiously motivated.

I guess in a country in which cultural diversity is seen as the ideal, when no nation, society or race, must ever be regarded as superior to others, but where it’s perfectly fine to label America and white Christians as inferior, it figures that nobody would be encouraged to speak the truth about Islam or to point out that most of the misery in the world today can be traced to those who believe that “Allah Akbar” is anything but an obscenity.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
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Monday, September 9, 2013

CONSERVATIVES, CHRISTIANS & CRIPS

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Now that we know that a few of the people who will try to move in to the White House in 2017 are Hillary Clinton, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and Chris Christie, it appears to be time already to lecture my fellow conservatives on the political facts of life.

For openers, we are not a majority. Not in the nation and not even in the GOP. So let me point out that all the inevitable talk about breaking away and forming a party of right-wing purists is the height of foolishness.

For better or for worse, ours is a two party nation. In the last election, Gary Johnson of the Libertarians received 1,275,893 votes. Jill Stein of the Greens received 469,016 votes. Between them, Virgil Goode, Rocky Anderson and Peta Lindsay, carrying the standards of the Constitution, Justice and Socialism & Liberalism parties, respectively, garnered 175,090. Added together, the five parties received slightly less than two million votes from the loons. Between them, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney collected 127,849,296.

Now if you wish to continue residing in a fool’s paradise, keep campaigning for a third party. Keep insisting that conservatives go it alone. Just understand that you will be guaranteeing that the Left will win the presidency from this day forward. Just don’t be surprised if rational Republicans will hold you in greater contempt than they do honest liberals, assuming you to be a mole for the other side, doing what you can to spread dissension and incite rancor in the ranks.

As William F. Buckley pointed out years ago, the only way to wrest control from liberals, is for every single person who recognizes that the Left is a menace to liberty and the individual to help elect any Republican who has a decent chance of winning his or her election. You don’t care for RINOS? Tough! Welcome to the real world. In a great many states, only RINOS have any chance of defeating a Democrat. The question is whether you prefer electing someone who will vote the way you’d like him to vote 60 or 70% of the time or someone who will vote in concert with Obama, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, on every single issue.

If you are dumb enough to think there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans, please explain why all the Democrats voted for ObamaCare and none of the Republicans did. Explain why the Democrats tried to join Obama in sweeping all the scandals under the carpet and why it is that only Republican-run committees have tried to get to the bottom of Operation Fast and Furious, Benghazi, the IRS and the snooping on journalists.

Moving on, I do not understand why anyone is confused as to whom the good guys are in Egypt and who are the villains. Morsi had already shown himself to be a dictator who wished to turn Egypt into another Islamic state like Iran. The military stopped him in his tracks and tossed his sorry butt in the clink. In response, we have a couple of simpletons like John McCain and Lindsey Graham carrying on as if the English Army had risen up and placed David Cameron and Queen Elizabeth under house arrest.

Just because someone wins an election is no guarantee that democracy has been established, and that we should applaud like trained seals. In Germany, Hitler won an election. In Gaza, Hamas won the election in 2006, and have run things ever since. In Venezuela, Hugo Chavez was duly elected. So, let’s all grow up and admit that, just like jury verdicts, some elections are good, some are just plain rotten.

Speaking of Egypt, I’d like to know why Pope Francis hasn’t been as forthcoming about the burning and vandalizing of over 60 Coptic Christian churches, the beheading of a priest and the parading of nuns in the street, by the Muslim Brotherhood, as he’s been with his Marxist-laced speeches about poverty.

Speaking of poverty, if I never again see that surfer, Jason Greenslate, it will be too soon. Nobody doubts that the food stamp program is a huge scam by Obama to create dependency on the federal government and turn all the welfare hogs into lifelong Democrats, but surely there are far better examples Fox News could have spotlighted in its special.

How is it that when Greenslate told reporter John Roberts that his monthly check was for $200, Roberts didn’t even mention that he would blow his food budget in a few days, dining on lobster and sushi? I wouldn’t want to question Jason’s honesty, but is it really too big a stretch to imagine that he just might be augmenting his food budget by dealing drugs with his surfer dude buddies?

It hasn’t been good times for those black racists who wish to blame white Americans for all the trouble in the hood. We had those three thugs in Oklahoma, two of them black and one a wannabe, shooting a 22-year-old Australian because they were bored. Then we had black teenage thugs Demetrius Glenn and Kenan Adams-Kisard beating 88-year-old WWII vet, Delbert Bolton, to death in Spokane.

As yet, I haven’t heard Barack Obama mention that any of the thugs looked anything like him. In the meantime, the Duncan, OK, police chief, Dan Ford, said he didn’t consider the brutal murder of Christopher Lane, the young Aussie, to be a hate crime even though James Francis Edwards, the 15-year-old triggerman had posted a bunch of racist tweets in the days before the killing, including “Hate whites” and “With my niggas when it’s time to shoot.”

Now, I don’t happen to approve of adding prison time for so-called hate crimes. It seems to me that if you shoot anyone in cold blood, it’s reasonable to assume hate is involved. I just object to the notion that only white guys can ever be assumed to commit them, especially when hatred of whites appears to be endemic in the black community.

To be fair, not everyone has been silent. Jesse Jackson tweeted “Senseless violence should be frowned upon.” How’s that for moral outrage? “Frowned upon”? This coming from a guy who goes through life glowering like Sonny Liston just in case he might suddenly stumble across a Republican. Suddenly, when the murderous piece of trash is a black punk, he magically morphs into Lord Pennington, complete with monocle and snuff box.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Friday, September 6, 2013

AT SEA IN A LEAKY ROWBOAT

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Every day in just about every way, the world keeps getting spookier. Not necessarily in a Stephen King/Dean Koontz kind of spooky way, but more in a Three Stooges nonsensical sort of way.

For instance, we had to replace a dishwasher recently. We went to Sear’s, got a Kenmore, and a couple of days later a guy delivered and installed it. That’s certainly the way the system is supposed to work. But a few days later, I received a notice from the L.A, Department of Building and Safety, informing me that I had to make an appointment so that a city inspector could come out and make certain the job was done correctly. That entailed my making a call and dealing with a couple of electronic voices before reaching an actual person, who let me know that I had to allow for a six-hour window, but would be receiving a call the following morning that would narrow it down to a two-hour time frame.

As promised, I received the call. The inspector would be showing up between 11 and 1. And, so, he did, at 12:56. I led him to the kitchen. He took one look at the exterior of the dishwasher, said it looked okay to him and turned to leave.

“Hold on,” I said. “That’s it? You only needed to see that we had it?”

“There’s really nothing to check. It’s like plugging in a toaster.”

Funny how some people insist they don’t get anything for their tax dollars. How about peace of mind? Don’t try telling me or my wife that we won’t be sleeping better tonight knowing that it wasn’t a figment of our imagination; we’ve now had it confirmed by a city inspector that we actually have a brand new dishwasher!

Speaking of kitchen appliances, in 1957, the U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to host cultural exhibitions in each other’s country in order to foster greater understanding. In 1958, the Russians held theirs in New York City. In 1959, we held ours in Moscow. The main attraction was an entire house filled with labor-saving appliances, all of it supposedly affordable to the average American family. The highlight of the event, however, was the meeting between the Soviet premier, Nikita Khrushchev, and Vice-President Richard Nixon.

Khrushchev allegedly told Nixon that the Soviet Union would eventually bury the U.S., with some Americans thinking he meant it in an existential way, but apparently he only meant that America would succumb to the glory of socialism. Nixon allegedly countered, insisting that the Soviet Union would inevitably adopt capitalism. Who would have ever guessed they’d both be right?

Speaking of which, under Obama, the richest 7% of Americans have seen their wealth increase by 28% since 2008, while the other 93% have seen their net wealth decrease by 4%. Is it any wonder that the seven percenters donated so generously to his re-election campaign and why Hollywood’s pampered poodles all go gaga over him?

In order to pave the pathway to the latest round of idiotic peace talks with the Arabs, the Israelis are prepared to release 100 terrorists. Someday, someone will have to explain why Israel or the U.S., for that matter, even bothers taking prisoners. When the enemy refuses to wear uniforms or fight under a flag, no nation is obliged to treating them like actual POWs. All that ever happens is that the Israelis wind up swapping those they capture for the mutilated corpse of a Jewish soldier or as a peace offering to schmucks who yearn and strive for Israel’s extermination.

For our part, we see these creeps busted out of jail in places like Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan or released from Gitmo, so they can be free to burn down our embassies, murder our diplomats and wage war on our civilian population.

More and more often I see teenagers and twenty-somethings huddled in small groups, ignoring one another even at a lunch table, as they focus all their attention on their electronic toys. For a long time, it had me befuddled. Then, as with all epiphanies, the answer hit me square between the eyes. All I needed to do was take a good look at these young creeps with their tattoos, dyed green hair and pierced lips, and try to imagine the conversations the young louts would be having if they weren’t preoccupied with their texting and twitting. By comparison, Tarzan, I hazard, would sound downright Churchillian.

Finally, although I generally like to give myself the last word, Steve Hayes of the Daily Standard earned it when, after Barack Obama pooh-poohed the Keystone Pipeline by claiming it would only create 20 permanent jobs, Hayes pointed out that was 20 more than Solyndra.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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