Monday, February 10, 2014

DOUBLING DOWN ON CRAZY

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by Burt Prelutsky

While rehabilitating from my operation, I keep seeing TV ads in which an off-screen voice tries to lure business to New York State by insisting “it’s open to innovation, ambition and bold ideas.” Clearly it’s not the voice of Gov. Cuomo, who has said that unless you are in favor of abortions and homosexuals, and opposed to the Second Amendment, New York is no place for you, no matter how bold your ideas happen to be.

But that is consistent with the way that liberals think or, rather, fail to think. Consider the way they muddy up the language. The opposite of Pro-Life, after all, is not Pro-Choice; it’s Pro-Death. And only liberals would think of naming the world’s biggest abortion mill Planned Parenthood.

Recently, I heard a member of the media come up with an oxymoron I had never come across before when she referred to compassionate abortion care, and she did so with a straight face.

Speaking of abortions, I continue to marvel at the fact the Supreme Court based its decision in Roe v. Wade on a woman’s right to privacy. For one thing, there is no such right mentioned in the Constitution. For another, if a woman has an inalienable right to murder a baby in her womb, shouldn’t she also have the right to murder a clerk in a liquor store?

And, finally, as my wife often points out, why is it that the sperm donor is always left out of the equation? One man can get six women pregnant in a single week, and he faces no prosecution. Instead, he is likely to boast of his accomplishment to his fellow apes.

Meanwhile, society is quick to tell a woman that she must either choose to have an abortion or be stuck with the financial burden of raising the child on her own or by accepting welfare for herself and the child, a deal that is every bit as soul-killing as the one cut by Faust.

Some changes in society seem to take generations. Others take place so rapidly, they put you in mind of hummingbirds, those little dynamos that are capable of changing direction faster than a Democrat facing an election in November can change his or her position when it comes to ObamaCare.

But it’s not just the Unaffordable Care Act that has people changing in mid-step. A person would have risked whiplash trying to track how quickly we went from shunning single mothers, homosexuals and such traitors as Jane Fonda and Edward Snowden, to celebrating them.

Mrs. Obama, whom I’m told is very popular for reasons I can’t begin to fathom, recently found it necessary to mention that she greatly admires Ms. Fonda. I didn’t hear what it was that she found particularly admirable. Was it the typical anti-capitalistic rhetoric of every Hollywood pinhead who has milked the system for every last nickel; the three divorces; or perhaps it was her support of the North Vietnamese during a war in which our troops were regularly tortured while she mugged for the cameras a few yards away?

The Friends of Abe, a group of Hollywood conservatives, recently garnered a lot of publicity when it was found that, like a great many other right-wing groups, it had ran afoul of an IRS that has added “left-wing hit squad” to all the other insults that have been hurled in its direction over the years.

Judging by my email, many of you have suspected that I’m a Friend. I was, but I quit the group a few years ago. For one thing, all of their events cost too much money, driving home the fact that with such people as Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight and Gary Sinise, in leadership positions, $40 wasn’t regarded as too steep a price to pay for lunch. It was the same old Hollywood caste system at work. The only difference is that this one was established by conservatives.

But there was something about the group that I found even more objectionable. I don’t like secret organizations. Never have, never will. I understood that the members were afraid of being blacklisted by the very creeps who never stop harping about the immorality of the blacklist that targeted progressives 65 years ago. But inasmuch as I am quite open about my politics and was equally honest even back in the days I was working on “Diagnosis Murder” and surrounded by liberal writers, directors and cast members, I found it creepy. So while I could understand FOA’s preference for anonymity, I couldn’t respect it.

Besides all that, the group didn’t even support any candidates. All they really did was have lunch.

When my wife told me that Bill O’Reilly was inviting his viewers to submit questions he would ask Obama on Super Bowl Sunday, I suggested “Inasmuch as you’ve consistently vilified Fox News for the past five years, what the heck are you doing here today? Have you agreed to the interview because your poll numbers are plunging so quickly that Valerie Jarrett decided that desperate times call for desperately hypocritical measures? What’s next – a beer summit with Rush Limbaugh?”

When Muslim terrorists threatened to make their presence felt at the Olympic Games in Sochi, Obama quickly responded by sending men, equipment and warships, to help beef up Russian security.

I’m sure that somewhere, Ambassador Chris Stevens was musing, “Instead of diplomacy, I knew I should have taken up figure skating.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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