Monday, February 24, 2014

THE MAD HATTER RULES

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by Burt Prelutsky

While recuperating from surgery and the flu, I risked a relapse by watching Bill O’Reilly interview Barack Obama in an event that could have been titled “The Clash of Egos.” I understood what was in it for the two of them. O’Reilly got an audience several times larger than the few million who tune in to his show on Fox. Obama got to tell people that Benghazi, the IRS and ObamaCare, not only weren’t scandals, but were old news. The real question is what the heck I was doing watching the farce unfold. Sacrificing for my art, I suppose.

Obama did acknowledge that some boneheaded decisions had been made over at the IRS, but that there hadn’t been even “a smidgen of corruption.” That’s what he said in spite of the fact that, as usual, there was an ongoing investigation. But inasmuch as it was being overseen by a woman in Eric Holder’s Justice Department who had donated $6,750 to Obama’s re-election campaign, it’s safe to say that no embarrassing smidgens were likely to turn up.

Inasmuch as Sochi’s hotels have become famous overnight for toxic water, lack of light bulbs and door handles, and toilets unable to deal with toilet paper, I’m wondering if the Olympic Committee members regret not going with their second choice, the Sahara Desert. But, then, I suppose the Desert was in no position to hand out Putin-sized bribes.

Sometimes I think parents would be doing their kids less harm giving them heroin instead of all those electronic gadgets that turn them into zombies. It just seems to me that the heroin habit is easier to kick.

Our nation’s capital continues to provide us with more laughs than Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel. For instance, the jokesters over at the Treasury Department actually handed out roughly $50 million in bonuses to the folks at the IRS. You’d think that constituted at least a smidgen’s worth of corruption, considering what the IRS has been up to lately. However, a Treasury spokesman said it was no big deal because the bonuses were only going to about two-thirds of the IRS staff. This is the same staff, by the way, that was found to have improperly spent $103 million last year.

One of the people receiving a bonus is Lois Lerner, who was last seen avoiding self-incrimination by taking the Fifth before a congressional committee.

When an independent agency reported that ObamaCare would cost Americans over two million jobs, the Democrats were quick to put a happy face on the news. The loss of all those jobs would not only allow people to spend more time with their families, we were told by the likes of Nancy Pelosi, but give them the time to pursue their dreams.

So, not only is the work ethic now a thing of the past, according to liberals, but I suppose in this new Nirvana we can look forward to more and more of our friends and neighbors churning out Elizabethan poetry and taking up macramé.

Unlike many people, including some Republicans, I don’t believe Obama is intelligent, let alone brilliant. I actually think he is both lazy and ignorant, but he was smart enough to get into politics, where sloth and ignorance aren’t regarded as liabilities.

Some people are wont to say, “I may not know art, but I know what I like.” In Obama’s case, I think he knows what he hates. The list, I submit, includes Christians, Jews, white folks, the middle class, conservatives, American patriots, western civilization, the U.S. Constitution and people not named Obama.

As you probably know by now, I am not a fan of our public schools. Over the past few decades, they’ve gone from being the envy of the world to being Soviet-like centers of indoctrination. The other day, I received the following email from a regular reader: “Recently, a teacher in the district where my wife works as a guidance counselor was returned to his job after being fired for looking at pornography on his computer during the school day. Naturally, the union had backed him up and got him reinstated. I asked my wife if there was anything the union would not tolerate. She said, ‘Yes, non-payment of union dues.’”

Meanwhile, at Colorado’s Fort Collins High School, the students were denied the right to celebrate America, lest immigrant students be offended.

The question that leaps to mind is whether there are any conservatives – that is to say, sane adults – in the ranks of school principals or on school boards.

I have long contended that there is absolutely no reason to respect the office of the presidency. It is, after all, an office that over the past century has been held nearly half the time by the creepy likes of Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and now Barack Hussein Obama. It is such a contemptible group, it should come as no surprise that three of the seven received the Nobel Peace Prize.

For my part, I agree with the fellow who said, “I respect the government only in the sense that I respect any other dangerous predator who views me as food.”

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