Wednesday, March 12, 2014

TED-IOUS NUGENT

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by Burt Prelutsky

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I understand that right-wing celebrities are in such short supply that we conservatives can’t help swooning over those whose politics jibe with ours. Still, should we be so enchanted that we are willing to overlook the fact that Ted Nugent appears to be both dumb and a potty mouth?

Mr. Nugent certainly has the right to say whatever he pleases about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but when conservatives applaud his every obscenity, they do a disservice to our movement, and when Republican politicians like Greg Abbott, who hopes to be the next governor of Texas, embrace him, they do a disservice to their campaigns.

The question is, or should be, where do we get off complaining about jerks like Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Martin Bashir, who spend their lives leveling the crudest of insults at people like Sarah Palin, George Bush and Clarence Thomas, but then clap like trained seals when Ted Nugent does the same?

In other embarrassing news, it seems that Martin Luther King’s kids are once again fighting, this time over the sale of their father’s Nobel Peace Prize medal and one of his seven Bibles. This comes after Sotheby’s auctioned off 10,000 of his documents in 2006 for $32 million! What’s next? His gold fillings?

I keep hearing people theorizing that Hillary Clinton might not be running in 2016. Oh sure, and in other related news, the sun will no longer be setting in the west, the ocean tides will no longer be governed by the moon and Eric Holder will begin prosecuting blacks for hate crimes.

Because I believe that some of my cultural biases are shared by others -- people who have been so intimidated by elitists that they censor their true beliefs -- I feel it my duty to provide them with cover. Therefore, I hereby confess that in my opinion, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby,” Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick,” William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies,” Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden” and Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises” and “The Old Man and the Sea,” are six of the most boring books ever written and any high school English teacher who foists them on unsuspecting students is guilty of abusing his or her power.

Those movies that don’t run their credits until the end are yet another of my pet peeves. It’s basically a stunt they picked up from TV. The difference is that TV shows want to engage you immediately because they worry about those trigger fingers on the remote. But once you’ve bought your movie ticket, you’ve made your commitment. Short of a stink bomb being released in the theater or, as happens occasionally, on the screen, you’re not going anywhere.

A thought that often plagues me is why it is that the only time members of Congress ever seem to question the waste in government spending is when they’re trying to come up with the money to finance their own pork projects.

In much the same way, the only time these chuckleheads are willing to acknowledge that thousands of federal bureaucrats are unessential is when they’re sent home during government shutdowns. Why is it that even the Republicans never suggest they stay home?

Thanks to the leftist radicals who permeate the current regime, we have gone from a government of, by and for the people, to one that only seems to concern itself with the well-being of people who happen to be poor, and preferably black or Hispanic. When it comes to those who are white and, worse yet, middle class, the attitude of Obama and his stooges seems to be they can eat dirt.

I have long heard that if you love something, you should set it free. If the love is reciprocal, it will return. If only Obama would set us free, we could test out the theory. But I’m afraid Obama knows as well as I do how that would work out, which is why he’s keeping a death grip on that phone and that blasted pen.

Since time immemorial, pacifists have felt entitled to the moral high ground, even though war has often proven to be the only way to preserve freedom and liberty against those -- be they Communists, Nazis or Muslims -- who would like nothing better than to also deprive us of life.

The foolishness of that philosophy was brought home recently when Pope Francis released two doves in Rome, and those eternal symbols of peace were immediately attacked and slaughtered by two birds of prey.

It should have been an object lesson for those simpletons who believe that a strong military is a waste of money and the Second Amendment is a waste of parchment, but I suspect they were content to simply quote Darwin.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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