Monday, April 21, 2014


In the immortal words of Oscar Hammerstein's King of Siam, “Is a puzzlement.” Everything from the media’s silence when it comes to Benghazi to liberal voters not being even slightly perturbed by Obama’s constant lies about the Affordable Care Act, or the fascistic activities of the IRS, leaves my head spinning.

A reader of mine we’ll call Ray sent me six contradictions that sum up the thinking of Progressives, or at least what passes for thinking in those bizarre quarters. It begins: “One, America is capitalist and greedy, and yet half the population is subsidized. Two, half the population is subsidized, yet they regard themselves as victims. Three, they think they are victims, yet their representatives run the government. Four, their representatives run the government, yet the poor keep getting poorer. Five, the poor keep getting poorer, yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about. Six, they have things that people in other countries only dream about, yet they want America to be more like those other countries.”

It seems that in spite of Nancy Pelosi predicting that the Democrats will be running on ObamaCare this November and Obama’s running victory laps over the number of alleged enrollees, Obama keeps trying to pivot the discussion from his signature piece of legislation to the economy. Good luck with that. Nothing like bragging about fewer people holding down fulltime jobs than when there were 30 million fewer of us than there are today, and with the promise that between ObamaCare and a higher minimum wage there will be between three and five million fewer people employed in 2016 than there are today.

When a reader named William let me know that terrorist-cum-professor-cum Barack Obama’s best bud, Bill Ayers, was the scion of a very wealthy family, I wasn’t too surprised. In America, as in Western Europe, communists often emerge from a life of privilege. They feel that their status, though not earned, is fully deserved, and entitles them to dictate how others should be forced to live.

In my own extended family, we had a number of poor communists and an equal number of wealthy, obnoxious, knuckleheads who never stopped parroting fanciful lies about the glories of the Soviet Union. Those relatives without money were a lot easier to stomach because as wrong-headed as they were, they weren’t hypocrites living a lie and they weren’t arrogant.

Speaking of the rich, while I am delighted to see the Koch brothers donating a ton of cash to electing Republicans to the Senate, I would love to see them finance a campaign to recall Harry Reid. Considering the role Reid has played in promoting ObamaCare, the fact that Nevada has the highest unemployment rate in the nation and that he is very much involved in the Bureau of Land Management’s attempt to seize Cliven Bundy’s cattle ranch so that his cohorts can erect a solar panel power station on the property, I would think persuading Nevadans to dump the walking cadaver would be both easy and delightful.

Lest anyone think I am merely a mouthpiece for the GOP, let me say that I would also enjoy seeing John Boehner gone from the scene. The rest of us know that the prime purpose of these numerous congressional committee hearings is to get the Republican chairmen face time on TV, not to get to the bottom of the endless scandals in which this administration has become embroiled. But Bonehead Boehner continues to dither around, refusing to appoint special counsel with the power to jail perjurers, while the scandals fade, gather cobwebs and ultimately fall off the radar, much like that Malaysian jetliner.

Everyone but anti-Semites will readily acknowledge that until the Palestinians agree to at least recognize Israel’s right to exist, no U.S. President is going to see positive results from his attempts to broker a peace agreement. So why do they keep trying to place a dead horse before a broken cart? As with immigration reform, until an actual wall is erected along our entire southern border, it is nothing but a phony political football for Democrats and Republicans to kick around at election time.

Finally, according to a Bloomberg report, divorce is actually a boon for the economy. The report points out that when a couple call it quits, there is a need for moving vans, a second household with new furniture and dishware and, of course, pay days for two sets of lawyers.

I expect that the next Bloomberg report will point out the glorious financial advantages of death, what with the need for cosmeticians, gravediggers, casket makers, florists, hearse drivers and, where needed, professional mourners.


Idoubt if there has ever been a time when obvious lies and sheer humbug were ever as widespread as they’ve been over the past couple of decades. But, then, I don’t believe we have ever had as many really stupid people eating, breathing, voting and taking our parking spaces, as we have today.

I believe there are many causes for this dismal state of affairs. To begin with, there was the generation that came of age in the 1960s, arguably the largest group of arrogant and narcissistic youngsters America had ever seen up to that point. Alas, they, in turn had millions of children and grandchildren, even though they trumpeted the Roe v. Wade decision as if it were the Second Coming.

Those louts then elected Jimmy Carter, who betrayed the Shah of Iran, thus ushering in three decades of Islamic terrorism; Bill Clinton, who first tried foisting HillaryCare on us and then settled for turning military bases into gun-free zones; George W. Bush, who kept insisting, parrot-like, that Islam was a religion of peace; and Barack Obama, whose litany of sins is simply too lengthy to list.

Over that same time frame, homosexuals have gone from being hounded for their practices to being the moral arbiters of the nation, a role that they are ill-suited to play. For one thing, they like to pretend that their status is the same as that of blacks who were living in Birmingham in the early 60s.

They actually compare religious Christians who object to providing cakes and flowers for same-sex marriages to Dixie lunch counter owners who denied service to black patrons. They’re so far off base, it’s almost obscene. For one thing, there were no alternative lunch counters that would accommodate blacks, whereas the gays had to go out of their way to find the bakers, florists and photographers, whose religious beliefs would compel them to sacrifice the fees.

Furthermore, you’ll note that none of the gays who sued ever claimed they had been banished from the place of business, no matter how the proprietors may have felt about sodomy. It always came down to those wedding ceremonies.

The gays, who have seen virtually every court rule in their favor and every company they have pressured knuckle under to their demands, have proven themselves to be the one thing more contemptible than sore losers, and that’s sore winners!

Still, I would be remiss if I didn’t offer them a piece of well-meaning advice. It wasn’t that long ago that the psychiatric profession labeled homosexuality a mental disorder, and sodomy laws were strictly enforced in certain locales. Well, pendulums, being pendulums, tend to swing back over time. So if I were a homosexual, I believe I would leave well enough alone and not make such a major to-do over same-sex marriage, especially since statistical reality, unlike media coverage, shows it to be a low priority item for most gays.

If we didn’t live in an age of such willing dupes and useful idiots, even liberals would have to acknowledge that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, who stated their own objections to same-sex marriages in 2008, hadn’t had a moral epiphany when they switched their positions. I’m not saying that a middle-aged man and an elderly woman can’t experience a sincere change of heart. But, injected with sodium pentothal, I’m betting that even Michelle Obama and Chelsea Clinton would admit it was only the realization that gays represent a fairly sizable bloc of votes and extremely deep pockets that explain the sudden conversion.

Speaking of Mrs. Clinton, I find the notion of her succeeding Obama into the Oval Office as an even worse nightmare than the one in which I find myself married to her. In fact, after writing an article in which I stated that, considering his tortured early life, which involved being abandoned by his father, his stepfather and, ultimately, his nutburger of a mother, it’s probably to his credit that Obama didn’t wind up a serial killer, a reader questioned my conclusion by bringing up the tragic massacre at Benghazi.

In response, I wrote, “I get your point, but considering that, as Secretary of State, it had been Mrs. Clinton’s decision not to supply the additional security that Ambassador Stevens had constantly begged for that led directly to the deaths of four brave Americans, I consider her the serial killer. As I see it, Obama’s role was limited to driving the getaway car and coming up with the phony alibi.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?