Friday, May 30, 2014


While the Left buries us in lies and obfuscation, those on the Right can often be trusted to keep it short, sweet and revelatory. For instance, the following two sentences contain more honest commentary about our society than 10 years of the Congressional Record: (1) We are told not to judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge all gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics; and (2) It seems we are constantly hearing that Social Security is running dry, but we never hear the same thing about Welfare, even though the folks in the first group worked for their money and those in the second group didn’t.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself longing for the good old days when the “axis of evil” referred to Iraq, Iran and North Korea, and not Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer and Eric Holder.

In a recent CNN poll, nearly 10% of respondents believed space aliens were behind the disappearance of the Malaysian jetliner. I’m not saying I believe that, but I certainly wouldn’t object to waterboarding Harry Reid until he tells us where he stashed it.

Nancy Pelosi finally got around to naming the five House Democrats to be seated on Trey Gowdy’s committee. Unfortunately, they aren’t five of the seven Republicans who voted to form the committee in the first place. Instead they are among those who did everything in their power to prevent the Republicans from discovering the facts about the Benghazi massacre and the ensuing cover-up; in short, the dirty deeds of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice, Jay Carney and their various henchmen who lurk in the White House and the sewers of the State Department. Clearly, the role of the five will be to use whatever it takes, be it monkey wrenches or TNT, in order to derail the investigation and prevent King Barack and Queen Hillary from being tarred-and-feathered by the evidence.

I know there are some people who still aren’t convinced that Hillary Clinton is going to run in 2016. But when you look at the Democratic bench, which pretty much consists of Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren, you know how desperate they are. The Republicans, on the other hand, are loaded for bear with Scott Walker, Rick Perry, Mike Pence, Paul Ryan, Rick Scott and Ted Cruz, along with such reserves as Rand Paul, Chris Christie, Marco Rubio, John Kasich and Kelly Ayotte. It’s a lot like comparing the 1927 Yankees to a Little League team.

On 9/11/01, the mainstream media was relentless in its flaying of George W. Bush because he took a few extra minutes leaving an elementary classroom in Sarasota, Florida, where he’d been reading a book to the children. However, on 9/11/12, when four brave Americans were being butchered in Benghazi and Barack Obama was AWOL for seven long hours – perhaps packing for his next day’s fund-raising trip to Las Vegas or maybe fine-tuning his Al Green impression – the very same media never even cocked its collective eyebrow.

Because I like to provide solutions as well as call attention to problems, I believe I have come up with a way for environmentalists to be happy without our having to destroy America’s economy. I suggest that Al Gore and all his wealthy chums in the Sierra Club move to Bangladesh. They wouldn’t ever again have to worry their pointy heads about fracking, oil pipelines or coal-fueled power plants. They could live as one with Mother Nature in a latter day Eden bereft of such modern evils as air conditioning, automobiles and indoor plumbing.

One thing that the world would be better off without is the fairytale notion that democracy is a cure-all for the world’s problems. Russia has the vote, and they elected Putin. Egypt has the vote and they elected the Muslim Brotherhood. The Palestinians have the vote and they elected Hamas. Outside of those few nations where the people subscribe to Judeo-Christian values, we would all be better off if a dictator friendly to or at least fearful of America, such as was the case with the Shah of Iran, Hosni Mubarak and even Muammar Gaddafi, once Reagan dropped a bomb on his tent, ran things.

Among the many sure signs that the inmates are currently running our own asylum is the fact that so many people are doing cartwheels because Michael Sam recently became the first openly gay football player to be drafted to play in the NFL. My question is: how many more glass ceilings are we going to have to hear about? Frankly, I think it would be far more newsworthy if a heterosexual ever wins another Tony or a conservative is ever hired to join the editorial board of the NY Times.

To get an inkling of how divorced from the truth those on the Left are, you merely have to take an occasional look at Garry Trudeau’s never amusing comic strip, “Doonesbury.” He first created it while a student at Yale, and here in his mid-60s, he is still cranking out the same old uninspired left-wing claptrap.

When George Bush was in the White House, Trudeau was always carrying on about Bush’s wars. He even devoted weeks of Sunday strips to listing the names of the fallen warriors. But once Obama moved into the White House, there was no indication that a far greater number of American soldiers were dying in Afghanistan.

Way back in 1985, the editors of the Saturday Review voted Mr. Trudeau “one of the most overrated people in American Arts and Letters” and their good judgment has been borne out by the fact that he’s won Oscars and Pulitzer Prizes, and even got to marry the darling of the Left, Jane Pauley.

In a recent strip, Trudeau had a TV newsman touring an exhibit of G.W. Bush’s paintings at his Presidential Library. After pausing to make a few predictable cracks about Bush allies Tony Blair and Angela Merkel, he moves on to a picture of Vladimir Putin (“In whose eyes Bush peered and sensed a soul, when everyone else saw only the dull, blank stare of a stone cold killer.”) with nary a mention of Hillary’s reset button or Obama’s vow to be more flexible in his dealings with Putin after the 2012 election.

In the final frame, the reporter is standing in front of a blurry picture and saying, “Here we see the artist trying to wash away the stain of two wars.” But, as usual with this hack, there is not or ever will be even a suggestion that the military deaths and injuries increased exponentially under Obama’s reign.

Considering that Trudeau labors under the delusion that he speaks truth to power, wouldn’t you think he would be at least slightly offended by the fact that not since Stalin perfected the big lie has any national leader fibbed as frequently or about such essential matters as the ex-community organizer?

Obama rode into the presidency on a cloud of malarkey and, thanks in good part to a lapdog media in which I would picture Chris Matthews as a pet poodle and Garry Trudeau as an annoying Pekinese, the mongrel in the White House has never been compelled to change his ways.

Even after all this time, the mutt is still dumping on the carpet in the Oval Office and blaming it, no doubt, on Bo.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?