Wednesday, June 4, 2014

"Impeachment, the VA & the NFL" and "Pandering Used to be a Crime"

Avery bright reader of mine wrote, calling for Obama’s impeachment. Although I share his concern for the harm the man has caused America and the world, I wouldn’t like to see the GOP once again crawl out on that very precarious limb armed only with good intentions and a chainsaw.

As I see it, it is the one sure way the Republicans can blow the midterm elections. Most people don’t want to see election results, no matter how wrong-headed they are, overturned by sore losers. As we saw in Bill Clinton’s case, he became more popular than ever when people viewed him as a martyr. And in Obama’s case, in spite of a general dislike of his policies, the split when it comes to him personally is dead-even.

For another thing, the Senate Democrats would never vote to impeach Obama, so why should the Republicans blow a very good chance of sending Harry Reid out to pasture in November? Playing Russian roulette is always a very bad idea, especially when there are bullets in every chamber.

Whereas the GOP stands to make political hay out of Benghazi, the IRS and the VA scandals, an impeachment would essentially trivialize them. If you think the non-Fox media is ignoring these matters now, you can imagine what it would be like if they had an unpopular impeachment with which to distract the loons and zombies who make up a large segment of the voting public.

I say it is far better if Obama spends his final two years as the lamest of lame ducks, devoting his time to working on his golf game and signing book deals, than being in a position to place another Kagan or Sotomayor on the Supreme Court.

What makes Obama so incredibly vile has less to do with his various policies or even his appointing the likes of Van Jones, Valerie Jarrett, John Kerry, Kathleen Sebelius and Chuck Hagel, to positions of authority, but the zeal with which he has used hatred and envy to divide Americans. For nearly six years, he has done his utmost to ignite feuds between men and women, the rich and poor, whites and blacks, citizens and illegal aliens and even atheists and believers. Obama and his sock puppet sycophants claim to be pacifists at heart, but they only oppose war when it’s against America’s actual enemies in Russia, North Korea and the Islamic world.

What’s happening at the VA is shameful, but it is also inevitable. Once a federal bureaucracy is involved, the results are certain to be dreadful. It’s not because the people involved are all loathsome, but because they happen to be civil servants. As a result, they don’t feel the need to be personally responsible because they don’t share the same dread of being fired as those employed in the private sector.

That is why I second the motion that the VA should be terminated and that our military veterans should have the same health plans as members of Congress and those civil servants at the VA who apparently learned their book-keeping skills at the feet of those crooked accountants working for the Mafia.

Another solution to the problem of veterans having to wait months, even years, to receive medical treatment is for them to become criminals. I mean, you never hear of an imprisoned felon being denied healthcare, do you? Hell, convicted traitor Bradley (now Chelsea) Manning even gets to have a sex change operation, compliments of Uncle Sam. And as you may recall, Private Manning’s military service was pretty much limited to swiping state secrets.

On a related matter, someone recently sent me an email letting me know that he sympathized with those poor people who do the work that others refuse to do; are forced to trek endless miles in desert heat; are forced to live in cramped and unsanitary conditions among people who speak a foreign language; are sometimes separated from their loved ones for years at a time; and who, after all that, are expected to survive on a minimum wage The kicker is that he was referring not to illegal aliens, but to the members of our military.

Wouldn’t it just make sense if instead of wasting $360 billion-a-year providing aid and comfort to those sneaking across our border, we spent it offering solace to our vets and to rebuilding our diminished military?

A group of retired football players are now trying to gang-tackle the NFL, claiming that they became unknowingly addicted to pain killers because their former teams made them play with injuries they didn’t even know they had. While it’s true that my interest in professional football rivals my interest in macramé, but do these mugs really expect me to believe they didn’t know they had broken bones or that it wasn’t the fear of losing those multi-million dollar contracts that had them popping pills like peanuts? They just better hope I don’t wind up on the jury.

In conclusion, I wish to atone for the many insults I have directed at felines over the years. On occasion, I have even been guilty of comparing them to the French. Now, thanks to the heroics of Tara, the bewhiskered heroine who saved the little boy who was being mauled by a large dog, I must change my ways.

Although my first instinct was to suspect that Tara, knowing about all those surveillance cameras in the neighborhood, had bribed the dog to misbehave, I have concluded that my wife has been right all along and that some cats are every bit as admirable as most dogs.

So, a toast, ladies and gentlemen, to Tara, formerly renowned as Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation, but now a cat among cats, a credit to her species.

In fact, if I had my way, Tara would be flown to our nation’s capital, where her next heroic assignment would be to clear out the scores of rodents presently nesting in the White House.


To get an idea of how vile and corrupt the Democrats are, you merely have to consider the five Democrats that Nancy Pelosi has appointed to Trey Gowdy’s special committee investigating the Benghazi massacre. Not one of them was among the seven House Democrats who voted to form the committee.

That means that not one of them had the slightest wish to find out why Ambassador Stevens didn’t receive the additional security he begged for; why the administration spent weeks blaming a silly video for the four deaths; why not a single terrorist has been brought to justice; or why Obama has stonewalled Congress for the past year and a half.

Instead, the five Democrats, including such liberal zealots as Elijah Cummings and Adam Schiff, have worked to derail earlier hearings. On top of which, Lanny Davis, lifelong consigliore of the Clintons, has announced he is putting together a “truth squad” whose job it will be to spin whatever facts the committee comes up with, the better to ensure Hillary’s coronation in 2016.

Because of all the other scandals landing at the feet of Obama, it is easy to lose sight of one of his biggest. That would be the red carpet that Obama and Eric Holder have rolled out for illegal aliens. Although they keep talking about 11 million illegals living in the shadows, anyone who doesn’t rely on decades-old statistics knows the number is certainly north of 20 million.

Recently, Congressman Joe Garcia (D-FL), shortly after being caught eating his own earwax, said that (allegedly) low crime rates in border cities with lots of immigration workers (aka illegal aliens) “is proof that communism works.”

Until we receive a lab analysis, we can’t actually prove Rep. Garcia wasn’t noshing on his own brain.

Speaking of people who should undergo brain scans in order to establish they actually have one, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg dared to compare black Republicans to those Jews who collaborated with the Nazis during WWII. The fact is that aside from his statement being vilely racist, the only actual similarity between the two groups is that their numbers are similarly infinitesimal.

If Mr. Steinberg wishes to come up with a better analogy, he should compare left-wing benefactor and one-time Nazi collaborator George Soros to such notable anti-Israelites as Barack Obama, Chuck Hagel and John Kerry.

When you consider the cowardice and intolerance displayed by one college after another as they take turns denying notable conservatives the opportunity to deliver commencement addresses and collect honorary degrees, you come to better understand why a four-year degree is called a BS.

It’s one thing to be cowardly, another to be stupid. It’s a given that political candidates don’t tend to be the most noble of individuals, but how is it that we wind up with Republican Senate candidates like the woman in Oregon who has a record of stalking an ex-husband and an ex-boyfriend and some cluck in Kentucky who makes campaign stops at cock fights and dog fights, and then defends the events as part of the American tradition?

For that matter, how does Dinesh D’Souza, who has made his distaste for Obama crystal clear in his writings and his films, then do something as dumb as break the campaign laws by using other people to conceal his illegal contributions to a friend running for the New York Senate? The fact that his friend lost her election only compounds the arrogance and stupidity.

I know that a lot of people, including conservatives, like Michelle Obama. I’m not one of those people. Like the symbol of the Republican Party, I never forget. In her case, one of the things I’ll never forget is that this ungrateful recipient of Affirmative Action announced that until her husband won the nomination in 2008, she had never been proud of America.

And I, for one, am getting sick and tired of the First Nanny telling everyone what they should eat. The result of her campaign is that schools are being forced to provide lunches that are salt-free, fat-free and, essentially, taste-free. Quite predictably, tens of millions of dollars in tax-provided food is being dumped in school trash bins, proving once again that you can lead a kid to broccoli, but you can’t make him eat the stuff.

Heck, Michelle can’t even get her own husband to toe the line. Every time I see him feeding his face, it’s either a cheeseburger or an ice cream cone. The truth is that his choice of food is the only thing about him that I recognize as being even slightly in sync with American values.

Like the ghost that showed Ebenezer Scrooge how bleak his future would be unless he changed his ways, the scandal swirling around the Veterans Administration is showing us in graphic terms what the future holds for all of us under ObamaCare.

Anyone who believes the federal government can run anything anywhere but into the ground can start out by explaining how a monopoly such as the Postal Service can continue losing money when they’re allowed to charge half a buck to deliver a one-page letter half a mile away.

Speaking of money, I think I see a way out of perpetual poverty for the poor and a way to cut down on the taxes the rest of us have to kick in to perpetuate the loony welfare system. Instead of adopting highways or the occasional African baby, I think Hollywood celebrities and other wealthy liberals should start adopting poor Americans and taking them into their homes. When you consider the size of the places the likes of Arianna Huffington, George Clooney, Warren Buffet, George Soros, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Ted Turner and Al Gore, call home, they probably wouldn’t even notice another eight or nine freeloaders sharing their digs.

And, best of all, even if they did, they’d be afraid to complain, lest their addle-headed colleagues got the idea they lacked the compassion gene or, worse yet, began to suspect them of being closet conservatives.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?