Monday, October 13, 2014

"The Attack Of The Cuckoos" and "Ebola & Other Epidemics"


CALIFORNIA READERS: At the Wednesday, October 15th, 11:30 meeting of Reseda-Tarzana Republican Women Federated, I will be giving a talk, followed by a Q&A session, starting at 1:30. Address: Braemar Country Club, 4001 Reseda Blvd.


How it is that so many cuckoos escaped from their clocks and have wound up in positions of authority, I will never know. But there’s no getting around the fact that the American symbol is no longer a bald eagle or even Ben Franklin’s preferred turkey, but has been replaced by the Swiss-made cuckoo bird.

For instance, the University of California, San Francisco, has just launched an online abortion course that will delve into “clinical aspects of medication abortion, aspiration abortion, post-abortion contraception, and pain management for abortion.” According to Prof. Jody Steinauer: “I think if we can inspire even a small portion of the people who take the course to take steps in their communities to increase access to safe abortion and decrease stigma about abortion, then we will have been totally successful.”

So far, 3,000 people have signed up for the course. I’m sure that ghouls everywhere are taking heart from the fact that abortion continues to be a growth industry. As for me, I think America is suffering from a dangerous lack of stigma.

As you may have heard, Nidal Hasan, who killed or maimed over 40 innocent people at Fort Hood, has written a letter to Pope Francis, complaining that Barack Obama keeps claiming that his butchery was workplace violence. Apparently he wants Francis to intercede on his behalf and point out to Obama that he is one of Allah’s proud soldiers and not just another creep who went postal because he got fired or didn’t get a raise. I can see his point. I mean, imagine how Hitler would have felt if his invasion of Poland had been dismissed as trespassing.

I do get a chuckle when young poorly educated malcontents who are often subsidized by wealthy old hypocritical reprobates like George Soros periodically take to the streets and demonstrate against Wall Street or the International Monetary Fund, blindly obeying the marching orders of wealthy old hypocritical reprobates like George Soros.

In addition to hosting an Obama fund-raiser at her home, Gwyneth Paltrow also introduced the guest of honor by batting her eyes and gushing: “You’re so handsome, I can’t speak properly.” If she considers Mr. Bat Ears so good-looking it makes her tongue-tied, one has to wonder how she ever managed to deliver a single line of dialogue when she worked with Hollywood heartthrobs Daniel Craig, Viggo Mortensen, Michael Douglas, Jude Law and Robert Downey, Jr. Perhaps the 42-year-old Valley Girl had all her dialogue dubbed by a grown-up.

Obama, who also tends to swoon in his own presence, managed to say, “I’m taking her to my next event.”

I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when Obama got home. Recalling how angry Michelle got when Obama took a selfie of himself with the leggy blonde Prime Minister of Denmark, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, at Nelson Mandela’s memorial, I couldn’t help picturing Barack trying to sneak into the White House only to find Michelle in the hallway holding a rolling pin and giving him the fish eye, just the way Maggie used to greet Jiggs in the Sunday funny papers.

The Army, which has become just as corrupt as the IRS, the Secret Service and the FBI, under the current administration has announced that it won’t go public about its investigation into Bowe Bergdahl’s desertion. At this point, don’t be too surprised if Bergdahl winds up receiving the Medal of Honor for merely pretending to be a traitor so he could go undercover and spy on the Taliban.

When the late Thomas Duncan first visited the Dallas hospital, he had a 103 degree fever and he admitted he’d just been to Liberia, but he was sent home with nothing more than a few pain killers. Once he died of Ebola, it figures there would be those who claimed that racism was the reason he was treated in such cavalier fashion. Nonsense! So far as I can tell, it was simply ObamaCare in action.

Although I dislike being at odds with my readers, I must confess I was shocked by the results of my latest poll. When I asked if people thought the Republicans would take control of the Senate and, if they did, if it would make a difference, I was obviously asking people to make an educated guess or, rather, two educated guesses. That meant that “maybe” or “perhaps” was a given, but it wasn’t a suitable response to either question. Fortunately, I managed to get 211 people to play by the rules.

It seems that 159 people thought the GOP would gain control, while 52 thought Harry Reid would manage to retain his stranglehold. However, only 61 people thought it would make a difference, 150 were just as sure it wouldn’t.

Frankly, I don’t know how those 150 could be so misguided. It’s true that a Republican Senate and Republican House wouldn’t be able to stop Obama entirely in his tracks. He’d still have his phone and his pen, but at least House bills would finally be voted on in the Senate, and Obama would be forced to veto them, showing everyone once and for all who the real obstructionist is. In addition, it is no small thing that Obama wouldn’t be able to appoint judges to the federal bench or place any more Kagans and Sotomayors on the Supreme Court, which is the legacy whereby ex-presidents are able to continue poisoning the atmosphere for decades long after they’ve left the scene of the crime.

Finally, by now I suspect everyone knows that 10 Secret Service agents lost their jobs for consorting, as they say, with Colombian prostitutes while a White House insider who happened to be the son of a major Obama donor wound up with a promotion to the State Department after he consorted with his own Colombian prostitute that very same evening.

In other news, Bill Clinton has announced that he’s heading down to Colombia on a fact-finding mission.



Ebola & Other Epidemics



I hope that the Republicans gain control of the Senate, but I don’t expect any miracles. I just want to wrench the reins away from Harry Reid, and force Obama to veto all those bills that the House has been sending along since 2010 that Reid has killed, thus sparing the Senate Democrats from ever having to cast an embarrassing vote. After all these years, the public would finally have a chance to see a real obstructionist in action.

Some of my readers have likened Obama to the serpent in the Garden of Eden, but that’s hardly fair. For one thing, the snake didn’t keep running off to play golf and attend fund-raisers. For another thing, the snake didn’t require the services of a Teleprompter in order to utter a coherent sentence. And for yet another, the snake only lied once.

I keep wondering why Sarah Palin keeps sticking her shnoz into every election in the nation -- sometimes to the detriment of the Republican Party -- but shied away from running for the Senate, leaving it up to a relative unknown, Dan Sullivan, to oppose Alaskan incumbent Mark Bigich (D).

Another question that keeps popping up in my head is why we don’t enlist Israel to help us defeat ISIS. The Arab and Muslim nations wouldn’t approve? So what else is new? At least we can trust the Israelis, which is far more than we can say about our alleged allies in Iraq, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the United Arab Emirate or Turkey. And once we mop up the beheaders, we should team up and take out Iran’s centrifuges.

Speaking of our only real ally in the Middle East, it seems that an Israeli cargo ship, the Zim Shanghai, was prevented from unloading in Oakland, thanks to pro-Islamic demonstrators. Members of the International Longshore and Warehouse Union claimed they were physically threatened and feared for their lives.

Did I forget to mention that there were eight demonstrators? Apparently longshoremen aren’t quite as tough as they used to be, or perhaps, like the majority of pinheads in the Bay area, they’re just more anti-Semitic than they used to be.

Israel has managed in a little over 60 years to become one of the most indispensable nations on the face of the earth, and not just because of their medical and scientific innovations. For the various despots in the Middle East, Israel serves as a very handy scapegoat. For the likes of college professors, show business celebrities and, apparently, California’s longshoremen, it allows them to be as anti-Semitic as Hitler and Stalin, without having to admit to anything worse than being opposed to Israel’s policies.

It is nearly impossible for civilians to compete with politicians when it comes to telling lies, but feminists Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem came close with their relentless propaganda telling women that they could have it all. Nobody has it all. Aspirations are important, even essential, but these chowderheads spent decades not only telling impressionable young women that, no matter what their own limitations were, everything was possible, and if they didn’t wind up achieving all of their wackier fantasies, they’d been cheated. And by whom, you ask? Well, by the entire male gender, of course.

Women have even been convinced that they are paid 70 cents on the dollar for doing the exact same job as a man, even though that requires believing that every employer is engaged in a huge conspiracy to pay men 43% more than women, the bottom line be damned!

Other big lies involve the minimum wage and corporate taxes. The way the liberals tell it, if employers are forced to pay unskilled workers far more than they’re worth and if corporations are forced to pay higher taxes in order to finance an ever-expanding, increasingly corrupt, state or federal government, it serves them right. What the liberals never mention to their sheep-like followers is that any such increases are immediately passed on to the rest of us in added costs for goods and services. As Sherlock Holmes was wont to say, it’s elementary.

Unfortunately, millions of our fellow citizens never learned anything about basic economics in school. The only things drilled into their empty little noggins was that nicotine, capitalism and conservatives were bad; the Constitution was inconsequential because it was the work of old white men; and that those like Obama, Castro, Guevara, Chavez, Allende and Mao, were the sort of leaders America needs, but too rarely gets.

That’s not to say we don’t have more than our share of nincompoops in positions of authority. Take Dallas Judge Clay Jenkins. He got himself a trove of publicity by accompanying Thomas Duncan’s relatives out of their Ebola-contaminated apartment in his civilian duds, all part of the carefully programmed narrative being spoon fed to us that Ebola can’t be transmitted through the air.

I assume that Judge Jenkins measured the risk and decided that it would be worth a ton of votes in future elections. After all, if the disease can only be passed along through direct contact and bodily fluids, why is everybody whose job calls for being in the vicinity of Ebola victims, but doesn’t require conning voters, walking around looking like an astronaut?

Finally, a few readers have taken me to task for referring to Bob Packwood in a recent piece dealing with sexual predators as a Democrat when, in fact, he was a Republican. The short answer is that I forgot that for political reasons, the very liberal Packwood pretended to be a Republican. The longer answer is that just because some people lie about their political affiliation is no reason the rest of us should encourage that sort of thing.

For instance, in the Senate, both Angus King and Bernie Sanders call themselves Independents, even though they caucus and vote with the Democrats, and take their marching orders from Harry Reid.

Worse yet, we have Charlie Crist, he of the white hair and the used car salesman’s smirk, running for governor in Florida. In a matter of just eight short years, the former ambulance chasing buzzard has run and lost as a Republican and as an Independent, and now that he’s running against Rick Scott, he’s calling himself a Democrat. He even lies about his own name, which happens to be Joseph.
When it comes to camouflage, chameleons could take lessons from this phony.

Finally, I’m betting that if Crist loses this time, in 2016, he’ll be running as a Whig.


©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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