Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Gnomes In The News


I recently saw a photo taken during a September event called the People’s Climate March in New York City. There was Jane Goodall in the front rank holding a couple of stuffed toy monkeys, thus making herself more readily recognizable to caption writers who might not otherwise recall that she spent a large portion of her life eating, sleeping and hanging out, with gorillas.

Apparently nothing much has changed because there she was linking arms with such primates as France’s Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and none other than the king of the chimps, Al Gore.

I would say that Ms. Goodall enjoyed better company in the old days. But you could readily see why some people are convinced that apes and people are closely related. Looking at De Blasio and Gore, you would almost swear they’re human.

Another name that’s been in the news lately is Bill Cosby, who has cancelled some TV appearances because he doesn’t wish to be asked about the rape accusations that have been hurled his way by a number of women. Frankly, I have no way of knowing if he sexually assaulted all of them or any of them. But what I do know is that back in the 1970s, a friend of mine was Cosby’s publicist and on more than one occasion, when I was in my friend’s office, Cosby, who was already a husband and father, would phone from wherever he was finishing up a gig – often Tahoe or Vegas –to say he was coming to town and to line up some women.

That doesn’t make him a serial rapist, but it does explain why I never bought the wholesome Cosby image used to peddle Jell-O and family values to a gullible public.

Speaking of women, I think someone needs to point out to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Valerie Jarrett, that politics is a rough and tumble game. If you can’t take it, perhaps you should take up macramé. What you don’t get to do is play the game and also referee, tossing a penalty flag for sexism every time you’re forced to play defense. Perhaps if you weren’t so personally offensive, it wouldn’t be necessary. It would also help if your notion of sexism was based on gender and not politics so you didn’t always turn a blind eye to it or even participate when its victims were Republicans like Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann.

Is it just me or is everyone sick and tired of hearing about glass ceilings being shattered every time some left-wing female sneezes? I mean, this is 2014, for god’s sake. In case you haven’t been paying attention, women have been ruling nations and commanding armies for centuries. The list includes the likes of Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Mary Queen of Scots, Catherine II, Queen Victoria, Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel.

For years now, I have regularly been receiving a June, 1920 quote attributed to H.L. Mencken of the Baltimore Sun: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folk of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright utter fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

The people who pass it along to me obviously know my opinion of Barack Obama. What they don’t seem to grasp is that the source of the quote obviously had the same elitist contempt for his fellow Americans, whom he identified as boobs, that we’ve now seen time and again from Prof. Jonathan Gruber.

For another thing, Mencken finally fell out of favor, even with the boobs, when he made his affection for Adolf Hitler a little too obvious in the 1930s. And, finally, at the time he wrote those lines, the President was Woodrow Wilson and in a few months would be Warren G. Harding, two of the very worst rodents to have ever planted their rumps in the Oval Office. So, far from being prescient, Mencken was seemingly unaware of what was taking place right under his shnoz.

As for Obama, whom I grant is even worse than Wilson and Harding, in defending his use of executive action to defer the deportation of illegal aliens, he said he had to do what he had to do because Congress wouldn’t do what he wanted. However, for five years, he was telling Hispanic groups that he lacked the constitutional authority to do the very thing he is now threatening.

And because most congressional Hispanics have their lips glued to Obama’s butt, they never asked why he didn’t simply pass legislation during his first two years in office, when the Democrats had a stranglehold on the House and Senate.

But, then, my fellow Jews in Congress never confront Obama over the fact that at the same time he spits on Israel, he invariably plays up to Muslims and Arabs, both here and abroad.

Clearly, at least for Jewish and Latino Democrats, an essential part of the congressional initiation process is voluntary neutering.

By now, we all know that the unemployment rate has become a joke. All people have to do is drop out of the labor market in order to make an 11% unemployment rate appear to be a mere 5.8%. But recently, a poll disclosed that 40% of women, 28% of men and 39% of young people, don’t even want a job. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 93% of all adults (86 million people) who aren’t in the work force don’t wish to be in the work force. And so long as Uncle Barack is willing to redistribute wealth by taxing those who are working to subsidize those who aren’t, that number will only keep growing.

Once the Republican mission in Congress goes from stopping Obama in his tracks to actually doing something to reverse America’s decline, they will have to do something about programs that feed, clothe, house and hospitalize, the able-bodied.

That also includes the millions who have committed fraud in order to receive monthly disability checks. If I were in charge, I would send an inspector to the home of everyone collecting one of those checks. And unless the recipient could prove what particular disability he’s afflicted with, the inspector would be authorized to hit him with a sledge hammer, thus legitimizing his claim.


©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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