Friday, November 7, 2014

"The Midterm Miracles" and "Axes Of Evil"


Perhaps because I define myself myself as a optimistic pessimist or a pessimistic optimist, I was blindsided by the election results. As much time as I devoted to poring over the Senate races, I just couldn’t see how the GOP could wind up with more than 51.

Perhaps, best of all, the liberals can’t carry off their narrative, which was that they lost the Senate only because of the map. Anticipating defeat, they wanted to pretend it was simply because they happened to have so many Senate seats at risk in certain Republican-leaning states. But, thanks to God and in good part to Barack Obama, who has done so very much to destroy the Democratic brand, we even won gubernatorial races in Illinois, Maryland and Massachusetts.

In the end, it wasn’t the map that defeated the Democrats, it was the American people. It was as if the Democrats went to a doctor for a physical and were told they had a terminal disease. And when they said they wanted a second opinion, the doctor told them they were also stupid.

One of my favorite races took place in Florida where Charlie Crist lost in his race for governor, meaning he can now get back to doing what he was born to do; namely work on his year-round tan and romance rich elderly widows.

But the list of great things that happened on November 4th is endless. For instance, political legacies took a thumping. In Georgia, where Sam Nunn’s daughter and Jimmy Carter’s grandson were running for the Senate and the governorship, they both lost. In Colorado, Udall lost. In Louisiana, Landrieu will lose in the December runoff. She always was going to lose, but thanks to a Tea Party candidate sucking off votes from the winner of the GOP primary, she will now be running when everyone in the state knows she will be a complete nonentity in the minority party. Even when she chaired the Senate Energy Committee, she was unable to get Obama to sign off on the Keystone pipeline, so who needs her keeping a seat warm in a GOP-controlled Senate?

Certainly among the priceless memories of the election was seeing Illinois electing a Republican governor in spite of both Obamas showing up to campaign for loser Pat Quinn, and seeing Arkansas elect a Republican governor and senator in spite of the Clintons campaigning for losers Mike Ross and Mark Pryor. As the four of them have shown in the past, their coattails are even shorter than those of Batman’s arch nemesis, the Penguin.

On Election Night, one of the highlights was listening to the various Fox News contributors, including Charles Krauthammer, Bret Baier and Steve Hayes, taking turns ridiculing Juan Williams after he insisted it wasn’t a wave election for the GOP. Come to think of it, I don’t know who took the final results the hardest – Barack Obama, Harry Reid or Barack’s favorite lawn jockey, Juan Williams.

Speaking of Fox, I sometimes amuse myself by imagining what the Fox males would look like if, like their female colleagues, they all had to dye their hair blonde. I guarantee that even Geraldo Rivera, Alan Colmes, Juan Williams and Bob Beckel, are a lot easier to take if you can pull it off.

Although I’m sure the Democrats will try to play down the results, insisting as they have all along, in concert with the NY Times, that the elections were about nothing. But they were actually about quite a bit. For one thing, it was about stopping Obama in his tracks before he succeeded in totally destroying America. By all rights, the voters should have come to that conclusion a lot sooner – preferably when they had the option of Mitt Romney – but better late than never.

It was also about the GOP learning how to come up with candidates who didn’t embarrass themselves or the Party. This time around, unlike 2012, we weren’t stuck with anyone insisting she wasn’t a witch or a couple of nincompoops who tried explaining the difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape.

After guaranteeing that Rob Maness would be the shocker of the evening by defeating both Mary Landrieu and Bill Cassidy for the Senate seat in Louisiana -- and his winding up a distant third, Sarah Palin proved that allowing one’s ego to trump reality is a really dumb idea whether you’re shooting elk or trying to elect unelectable candidates.

One of the major takeaways from the elections was that even low-information voters don’t like being lied to, whether it’s Obama’s claiming we could keep our doctors and our medical insurance and that Republicans hate women or his stooges in Congress, all of whom have had their lips glued to his rump for nearly six years, suddenly claiming they couldn’t pick the schmuck out of a police lineup.

For my part, I have been euphoric ever since the 4th. Living, as I do, in California, jubilation is not an emotion I’m accustomed to experiencing in the aftermath of elections.

In spite of the fact that I don’t drink and I don’t smoke pot, I feel as if I’m floating on air. I’m not even on Cloud 9, people, I’m on Cloud 78. The truth is I can barely see Cloud 9 from this high up.




Axes of Evil



In New York City, yet another black convert to the Religion of Peace named Zale Thompson went after a few cops with an axe, which mirrors the way Mohammad, himself, went about converting infidels. It also suggests that Mr. Thompson might have misunderstood those two cheerleaders for Islam, George Bush and Barack Obama, and thought he was converting to the Religion of Pieces.

No doubt Obama will label the event workplace violence rather than Islamic terrorism because it was, one, violent and, two, the cops were working. It should remind us that while Obama may not be a Muslim, as some people insist, he certainly has a soft spot in his heart and his head for those who are.

It also serves as a segue to a debate I recently had with one of my readers. In one of my articles, I had written a defense of capital punishment, and he took exception to it. His initial objection was based on the fact that over the years, a number of innocent people have been executed. I argued that the number has been inflated by those who oppose capital punishment, and who feel that their morality trumps the facts. Moreover, with DNA used so often to convict or acquit, I expect miscarriages of justice are even less likely.

Lest I think he was a typical sob sister, he let me know that he believed a life behind bars was worse than an execution. I disagreed. Perhaps if a life sentence meant solitary confinement, he’d be right, but it doesn’t, so he’s wrong. Prisoners get to play basketball, work out in the gym, watch TV, read books and even engage in conjugal visits. The last I heard, Charles Manson’s friend Tex Watson had sired four little Watsons while behind bars.

He also pointed out that execution tends to be painful. I honestly don’t care about that, and see no moral reason why those who have tortured and murdered people who have done them no harm should be provided with the same painless deaths we offer to our beloved cats and dogs. Besides, those engaged in the anti-capital punishment movement are always bringing the pain factor into the argument, using the electric chair, hangman’s noose, firing squads and even the gas chamber as reasons to get rid of the practice. As a compromise measure, I am willing to let the painless Guillotine do the job for which it was invented.

I concluded by pointing out that polls indicate that a majority of people approve of capital punishment. But trial lawyers, left-wing judges and Eric Holder, have chosen to emphasize the notion that it is often poor defendants and blacks who make up a majority of those executed. That’s intended to prove the system is weighted against them, while the rest of us are supposed to ignore the inconvenient fact that those are the very people who commit most murders.

The hypocritical lawyers even try to use the fact that many defendants spend decades on Death Row, never knowing when their time will run out, as an excuse to eliminate the penalty. A more sensible solution is to limit the number of appeals to one, and insisting that the basis of the appeal involves new evidence.

I heard from another reader who agreed with my take on the so-called Noble Savage, which is that more often than not the native North American tribes were certainly savage, but rarely noble, and could literally be described as blood-thirsty, based on their cannibalistic diet.

His sarcastic conclusion was “If only we could all live in peaceful harmony with nature…” To which I replied in kind: “Ah, yes, where only the animals slaughter each other, and where Mother Nature sometimes wakes up cranky and unleashes a tidal wave or an earthquake, ignites a volcano or introduces some version of the Bubonic Plague.”

Speaking of plagues, proving that she is a worthy successor to Obama, who once famously said, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build it,” Hillary Clinton told an appreciative audience of liberal loons, “Don’t let anyone tell you that businesses create jobs.”

That reminds me that someone sent out a hoax message announcing that Deanne Favre, the wife of former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, was going to be the new Packers coach. She based her qualifications on the fact that she has been married to a Hall of Fame quarterback, even though she has never played a single quarter of football. The point of the hoax was that Hillary is essentially seeking the presidency based on her own marriage license.

What else qualifies her? As First Lady, she tried and failed to push through HillaryCare. As a senator, she did nothing but manage to add an elective office to her resume. As Secretary of State, she pushed a re-set button with Russia, oversaw Obama’s military withdrawal from Iraq and was at least a co-conspirator in the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi and the subsequent cover up.

At least Mrs. Favre is a looker!

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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