Friday, December 5, 2014

"The Great Comeuppance Day" and "Dear Chairman Rogers..."


In times gone by, people, especially those in small towns, would say about those in their midst who were best described as arrogant and narcissistic that they were riding for a fall. The local citizenry would long for the day the spoiled brats would get their comeuppance. Although the term has gone out of favor, the feeling remains.

But because the targets of this natural resentment often had great wealth, status or power, their victims usually had to accept that these good-for-nothings would continue to skate obliviously through life until God at last had His chance to deliver the appropriate judgment.

So it was that for six long years, I waited impatiently to see Obama do a pratfall on his keester, and on November 4th it happened. It came late, but better than never. Not only did Obama have to sit around for months watching one Democrat after another beg him to stay out of their state until after Election Day, but then had to watch the results on his TV as one state after another went bright red.

As a result, a one-legged duck isn’t nearly as lame as Obama now that Harry Reid can no longer prevent House bills from reaching his desk. While it’s true he can veto them, when the bills deal with things like the Keystone pipeline, lowering taxes and removing some of the more odious regulations related to ObamaCare and the environment, the voters will be noticing and by 2016, Democrats up for re-election may look back on 2014 as the good old days.

Speaking of Obama, I have grown nearly as tired of listening to Josh Earnest lie on his behalf as I was of Jay Carney. And while it’s easier to stomach Mr. Earnest because he lacks the obvious hubris of Mr. Carney, who used to appear to absolutely revel in his lies, the bigger the whopper the better, the job description remains the same. Whoever has the job has no other responsibility than to lie, fib and dissemble, on behalf of the con man in the Oval Office.

The position should be eliminated now and forevermore. This president, like just about every other president going back 60 years has found plenty of time to play golf, a game that abides by Parkinson’s Law, which states that work -- or in this case, a round of golf -- will expand to fill the time available for its completion. Well, if he has time to play 18 holes, he has 30 minutes a day to take questions from the press. I say let him do his own damn lying!

It recently occurred to me that Democrats shouldn’t have the donkey as their symbol. The donkey, after all, is a hard-working beast of burden. Instead, the lowly buzzard should be the Party’s symbol, because its diet is solely one of carrion.

Democrats feast on bad news, and the badder it is the better they like it, whether it comes in the form of festering race relations, a moribund economy, Islamic butchery, class envy or the usual natural disasters which they now insist are always the result of global warming or climate change.

Thanks to Obama’s criminality, tens of thousands of people in Mexico and Central America are packing up in the mistaken belief that citizenship and a golden piƱata await them if they simply reach our border. Unlike Obama, they aren’t evil people, merely gullible.

That’s not to say that things shouldn’t be done to improve America’s immigration policy. First step on the agenda is to close the border. When Reagan signed the 1986 amnesty bill, he did it with the understanding that the Democrats would shut down the floodgates. It’s now been 28 years, and it is way past time to get it done.

Next, we don’t need comprehensive immigration reform, we need comprehensible reform, beginning with special treatment of those would-be Americans who are signed up all over the world and are playing by the rules.

Those who are here illegally should lose their jobs to American citizens because it is against the law and against commonsense that anyone should benefit from the commission of a crime, even though what should be a felony is presently treated as a misdemeanor. Jaywalking across a city street should be a misdemeanor, jaywalking across a national border should be a felony.

As for jobs in agriculture, those jobs that are always being paraded out as the jobs Americans won’t do, my solution is to have teenagers do them. We manage that by adjusting school semesters in rural communities to take breaks during predictable harvest seasons. The kids would be paid the minimum wage, and most of them would be delighted to be out of the classroom and outdoors earning money.

To make my plan work as it should, those American adults, not suffering from provable physical or mental disabilities, who are simply reluctant to bus tables, fry burgers or make beds, will be officially notified they have two weeks to find employment before their welfare checks stop arriving.

As I see it, there’s plenty of comeuppance to go around.



"Dear Chairman Rogers..."


To me the most shocking piece of recent news wasn’t Obama’s end run around Congress and the Constitution regarding immigration, but the way the House Intelligence Committee allegedly investigating Benghazi dumped its report late on a Friday afternoon. That is traditionally when Washington insiders get the word out when they don’t want the media to get the word out. In this case, it’s no wonder.

For one thing, the investigation seemed to be over before it even began. It generally takes a few years for Congress to decide what to name a new post office. For another, I never heard about the committee holding even a single hearing, and I’m a pretty devoted Fox viewer.

That is what led me to send the committee’s chairman, Mike Rogers, the following letter: “Dear Rep. Rogers: I can’t help being curious about your committee’s report, a report that apparently found nothing amiss in the attack on the Benghazi consulate, not in the run-up to the butchery committed on 9/11/12, not during the attack itself and not even in the shameful aftermath.

You found nothing amiss in the statements by Sec. Rice and President Obama, which even weeks after the bloody affair, blamed it all on an inane video? You found nothing questionable about Obama’s absence and silence during the evening of the attack? It didn’t strike you as peculiar that there wasn’t a military response during the seven hours the attack was taking place? You folks didn’t find anything even mildly suggestive about Sec. Clinton’s “What difference at this point does it make?” response during a congressional enquiry? You and your committee didn’t regard it as even slightly curious that the talking points from the intelligence community were edited and revised by members of the administration before Susan Rice went on all those Sunday news shows?

“Was Mrs. Clinton even questioned by your committee? Was Susan Rice? Was the President? What about the Navy Seals and those members of the consulate who survived the attack?

“It has even gotten around that you based most of your conclusions on the questionable testimony of former CIA Deputy Director Mike Morell, who after months of insisting he had nothing to do with editing the talking points was finally forced to admit he had almost everything to do with it.

“Just curious, but is it possible that one of your Democratic colleagues has been holding your dog for ransom? Best wishes, Burt Prelutsky”

Moving on to other matters, what gives with the Supreme Court? These people are paid a good deal of money ($244,400 for the eight regular justices, $255,500 for the chief justice, not to mention their book royalties and speaking fees) for a very short work year. They’re only in session from Oct.1st until late June. In addition, they have any number of clerks to help with the heavy lifting, which consists of looking up legal precedents, typing up decisions and bringing lunch to their lordships.

I would think that in exchange for all the money and glory, they could squeeze in a little time during which they can try to rein in a president who seems to be doing his best to act as if the Constitution isn’t worth the parchment it’s written on.

Why, for instance, can’t a president or a majority of the House get a constitutional question fast-tracked to the Supremes? Why does it have to go through a maze of lesser courts before it can finally be placed before the Court that counts? The gestation period of elephants doesn’t take as long. Even Congress manages to name post offices in half the time.

Finally, a friend sent me an op-ed piece from the Manitoba Herald, which proved that Canadians are aware of the absurdity of our border policy and take considerable comfort in the fact that the United States acts as a 2,000 mile buffer to the endless onslaught of illegal aliens who would otherwise be turning Toronto, Montreal and Quebec, into third world pueblos.

A few of the highlights include: “The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

“Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. ‘I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,’ said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. ‘The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even had a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?’”

After going on in this vein for a few more paragraphs, it concluded with “In an effort to ease tensions between the U.S. and Canada, Vice President Joe Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, ‘We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,’ he concluded.”

Is there a red-blooded conservative in America who, in his heart of hearts, doesn’t wish to God this had been a legitimate news story?

Surely I can’t be the only one.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.


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