Friday, February 28, 2014

THE INSANITY GOES ROUND AND ROUND

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by Burt Prelutsky

Christians are being persecuted, often murdered, in over a hundred countries at this very moment. Most of the massacres and church burnings are taking place in the Middle East, a gigantic swamp whose only redeeming features are oil and Israel, and the Orient, where China, Vietnam and North Korea, are proving themselves the swinish equals of Egypt, Syria and Iran.

In the meantime, the Obama regime goes along to get along, saving its quota of moral outrage for the Israelis who refuse to jump through hoops for the Palestinian rabble and John Kerry.

But, then, this is the same Obama who insisted that the folks who run Notre Dame and Georgetown University cover up or remove all religious symbols from their walls before he would deign to address the students. That suggested to some that Obama really is a follower of Islam, but proved to me that the hierarchy at Catholic institutions is no more principled than the DNC. After all, when the Church refuses to even consider excommunicating politicians who actively promote homosexuality and abortions on demand, who would expect college administrators, even those at Catholic institutions, to possess backbones?

Speaking of hypocrites, let us consider David Petraeus. Adultery is one thing, but when he joined in the big lie that Benghazi was a spontaneous reaction to a video nobody had seen, even though he was well aware that it was a well-planned terrorist attack, he crossed the line from military hero to political shill. Now, by announcing that “Hillary Clinton would be a terrific president!” he has shown himself to be about as principled as those cowards at Notre Dame and Georgetown.

Is it just my imagination or is it true that our military leaders, starting with Colin Powell, seem to tarnish at the speed of light once they remove their uniforms?

Speaking of Hillary Clinton, her late friend’s journal quotes her description of Monica Lewinsky as “a narcissistic loony tune.” Talk about the pot calling the narcissistic kettle loony! At least Ms. Lewinsky never oversaw the murder of four Americans. Neither did she then lie about it nor claim it made no difference who the responsible parties were; and, most importantly, she never suffered from the delusion she deserved to be president simply because she’d once had sex with Bill.

There are things about Fox I like, including Bret Baier, Brit Hume, Steve Hayes, Megyn Kelly, Bernie Goldberg, Chris Wallace, Greta Van Susteren, Charles Krauthammer, Howard Kurtz and Jeanine Pirro, but the resident liberals, who all seem to be auditioning for their own shows over at MSNBC, are awfully hard to take.

Because he seems to show up everywhere on the network, Juan Williams probably annoys me the most. As you listen to Obama’s talking points gushing out of his pie-hole, you really have to wonder who signs his checks -- Roger Ailes or the DNC.

But others, such as Bob Beckel, Alan Colmes, Leslie Marshall, Kristen Powers and Geraldo Rivera, can be equally obnoxious. Rivera, who looks almost as bad with a beard as Jay Carney, recently took Bill O’Reilly to task for denying Obama “the majesty of the office” by asking him embarrassing questions about Benghazi, the IRS and the Affordable Care Act, during his Super Bowl interview. He neglected to mention the fact that Obama denied O’Reilly the majesty of Fox News by showing up without a necktie.

I guess it’s a good thing that liberals have such short memories that they forget that when George Bush was in the Oval Office, it not only, according to them, lacked majesty, but it was quite okay to call for the resident’s impeachment and even his assassination.

In other news, the Majestic One – you know the guy who swore to lower the oceans and heal the planet – arbitrarily changed ObamaCare for the 28th time by presidential fiat, simultaneously kicking sand in the face of Congress and trashing the Constitution, and for no other reason than to protect red state Democrats up for re-election in November.

But, as he was heard to remark during a visit to Monticello, when he broke protocol by going off for a tour of the grounds, “That’s the best thing about being President -- I can do whatever I like.”

By “whatever,” he doesn’t just mean re-write his signature piece of legislation on a daily basis, but includes refusing to defend the Defense of Marriage Act; protect U.S. sovereignty by closing the borders; prosecuting blacks for hate crimes; while opposing those states looking to remove fraud from the election process through the use of photo IDs.

But this is the same knucklehead whose energy policy, which he likes to describe as “all of the above,” but only so long as “all” doesn’t include oil and coal; and whose foreign policy, which he also insists includes all options being on the table, but only so long as those options never involve military action in Syria or even additional sanctions against Iran.

Frankly, I’m surprised that Hollywood, being as liberal as it is, hasn’t yet gotten around to relabeling the Oscars the Obamas.

After all, what more appropriate honor could the pinheads bestow than to name their gold-plated eunuch after the one residing in the White House?

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

OSCARS & OTHER FRAUDS

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Burt Will Soon Be Back On The Radio - - More Information on Friday!

As you may have heard, an Academy Award nomination for the title song from the movie “Alone Yet Not Alone” has been rescinded. Naturally, even the Motion Picture Academy lacked the nerve to say it was because the song and the low-budget film promoted Christian values. Instead, they insisted it was because emails had been used to help promote the song to Academy voters. That’s the sort of bald-faced lie that should even have secular liberals in Hollywood chuckling.

The fact is that everyone in Hollywood campaigns for nominations and awards. It would take a Jesuit to explain why it is okay to mail DVDs to voters and to take out any number of ads in the Hollywood trade papers, but employing the far less expensive alternative of emails is strictly verboten.

The irony is that the person who sings the song, Joni Eareckson Tada, is the sort of person Hollywood loves to make schmaltzy movies about. A quadriplegic, Ms. Tada taught herself to paint by holding a paint brush between her teeth, and is also an author and inspirational speaker. I can assure one and all that her appearance at the Academy Awards would have been far likelier to stop the show than any of the over-produced laser-enhanced dance numbers they come up with year after year, courtesy of choreographer Debbie Allen.

I suppose there are still some people who don’t believe that Hollywood is at war with Christianity, just as there are those who are convinced that Islam’s war with western civilization is a fantasy concocted by conservatives.

Over at NBC, somebody should tell Bob Costas that when you’re 62, your toupee should have at least a smidgen of gray in it. But the rug aside, Mr. Costas actually spent several minutes of air time smooching Vladimir Putin’s heinie. Unless he feared being tossed in a gulag while covering the Olympics, there is no explaining why he felt compelled to describe Putin as a peacekeeper who has done God’s work in Syria and Iran. Fox’s Kimberly Guilfoyle summed it up as “a gigantic man crush.” But it may be something as simple as both of them being opposed to the Second Amendment.

Russia’s deputy prime minister announced they had surveillance cameras in hotel bathrooms that showed tourists were turning on their showers, aiming them at the walls and then leaving the room. Later, Russia’s version of Jay Carney said he had been mistranslated. My initial reaction is that nobody has ever mistranslated “surveillance cameras.” My second reaction after having seen the toxic waste coming out of those showerheads was surprise that the walls survived the chemical blast.

As for Putin, he spent several billion rubles in order to introduce the new Russia to the world, proving only that, one, he is as adept at wasting other people’s money as Barack Obama and, two, that the new Russia apparently looks and smells a lot like the old Russia. The only thing that ever changes over there is the name of the dictator.

Speaking of he who is the most dangerous demagogue in American history, Obama and his favorite henchman, Eric Holder, have rolled out the red, white and blue carpet to those people from the swamps of the Middle East who have “only a tangential connection to terrorists.” The question that leaps to mind isn’t how and who decides the difference between actual terrorists and those who merely aid and abet them, but why on earth do we need additional immigrants from nations that breed jihadists the way Holland breeds tulips?

What’s more, there has been found to be fraud involved in 70% of the cases involving political asylum, most notably in the case of the Boston-bombing Tsarnaevs.

Proving that the world doesn’t exactly quake in fear when Obama speaks, no sooner had the Pipsqueak-in-Chief called for North Korea to release Reverend Kenneth Bae than the poor guy was promptly transferred from a hospital to a labor camp.

On the other hand, Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland, in one of those rare inspiring moments in the world of diplomacy, apparently said, “F--- the European Union!”

Inasmuch as the two things one can safely say about the EU is that Germany, France, Spain and its other spineless members are willing to kiss Iran’s heinie and will take every opportunity to collude with Arabs and Muslims against Israel, I would love to see her replace her boss, John Kerry, who could then be retired once and for all to stud duty at a horse ranch.

By the way, she made her remark during a private phone call to our ambassador to the Ukraine, a conversation that was tapped by the Russians. It makes you wonder if the Russkies also have any of those pesky surveillance cameras in Ms. Nuland’s bathroom.

In the wake of the government report that ObamaCare will eliminate well over two million jobs, the Democrats rushed to spin the news, telling us that all those people would be free to pursue their dreams, unless, of course, their dreams consisted of having a fulltime job and making a decent living.

It is merely the latest case of life imitating art, in this case a comic strip. “The Wizard of Id” ran a strip a while back in which the little wizard is standing on his balcony, addressing the crowd below. He says, “Elect me and I promise you free health care, free housing, free clothing and free food stamps! And jobs for everybody! Any questions?” “Yes,” responds a voice from below, “what do we need jobs for?”

In Obama’s America, the short answer is that half of us need to keep working so that the freeloading half that vote for Democrats needn’t bother.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

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For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

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Monday, February 24, 2014

THE MAD HATTER RULES

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Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

While recuperating from surgery and the flu, I risked a relapse by watching Bill O’Reilly interview Barack Obama in an event that could have been titled “The Clash of Egos.” I understood what was in it for the two of them. O’Reilly got an audience several times larger than the few million who tune in to his show on Fox. Obama got to tell people that Benghazi, the IRS and ObamaCare, not only weren’t scandals, but were old news. The real question is what the heck I was doing watching the farce unfold. Sacrificing for my art, I suppose.

Obama did acknowledge that some boneheaded decisions had been made over at the IRS, but that there hadn’t been even “a smidgen of corruption.” That’s what he said in spite of the fact that, as usual, there was an ongoing investigation. But inasmuch as it was being overseen by a woman in Eric Holder’s Justice Department who had donated $6,750 to Obama’s re-election campaign, it’s safe to say that no embarrassing smidgens were likely to turn up.

Inasmuch as Sochi’s hotels have become famous overnight for toxic water, lack of light bulbs and door handles, and toilets unable to deal with toilet paper, I’m wondering if the Olympic Committee members regret not going with their second choice, the Sahara Desert. But, then, I suppose the Desert was in no position to hand out Putin-sized bribes.

Sometimes I think parents would be doing their kids less harm giving them heroin instead of all those electronic gadgets that turn them into zombies. It just seems to me that the heroin habit is easier to kick.

Our nation’s capital continues to provide us with more laughs than Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel. For instance, the jokesters over at the Treasury Department actually handed out roughly $50 million in bonuses to the folks at the IRS. You’d think that constituted at least a smidgen’s worth of corruption, considering what the IRS has been up to lately. However, a Treasury spokesman said it was no big deal because the bonuses were only going to about two-thirds of the IRS staff. This is the same staff, by the way, that was found to have improperly spent $103 million last year.

One of the people receiving a bonus is Lois Lerner, who was last seen avoiding self-incrimination by taking the Fifth before a congressional committee.

When an independent agency reported that ObamaCare would cost Americans over two million jobs, the Democrats were quick to put a happy face on the news. The loss of all those jobs would not only allow people to spend more time with their families, we were told by the likes of Nancy Pelosi, but give them the time to pursue their dreams.

So, not only is the work ethic now a thing of the past, according to liberals, but I suppose in this new Nirvana we can look forward to more and more of our friends and neighbors churning out Elizabethan poetry and taking up macramé.

Unlike many people, including some Republicans, I don’t believe Obama is intelligent, let alone brilliant. I actually think he is both lazy and ignorant, but he was smart enough to get into politics, where sloth and ignorance aren’t regarded as liabilities.

Some people are wont to say, “I may not know art, but I know what I like.” In Obama’s case, I think he knows what he hates. The list, I submit, includes Christians, Jews, white folks, the middle class, conservatives, American patriots, western civilization, the U.S. Constitution and people not named Obama.

As you probably know by now, I am not a fan of our public schools. Over the past few decades, they’ve gone from being the envy of the world to being Soviet-like centers of indoctrination. The other day, I received the following email from a regular reader: “Recently, a teacher in the district where my wife works as a guidance counselor was returned to his job after being fired for looking at pornography on his computer during the school day. Naturally, the union had backed him up and got him reinstated. I asked my wife if there was anything the union would not tolerate. She said, ‘Yes, non-payment of union dues.’”

Meanwhile, at Colorado’s Fort Collins High School, the students were denied the right to celebrate America, lest immigrant students be offended.

The question that leaps to mind is whether there are any conservatives – that is to say, sane adults – in the ranks of school principals or on school boards.

I have long contended that there is absolutely no reason to respect the office of the presidency. It is, after all, an office that over the past century has been held nearly half the time by the creepy likes of Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and now Barack Hussein Obama. It is such a contemptible group, it should come as no surprise that three of the seven received the Nobel Peace Prize.

For my part, I agree with the fellow who said, “I respect the government only in the sense that I respect any other dangerous predator who views me as food.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

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Friday, February 21, 2014

THE %#@&$@# STATE OF THE UNION

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Because simply recovering from surgery that involved my hand, wrist and thumb, didn’t strike me as being all that challenging, I decided to add a case of the flu. And because even that didn’t seem to be daunting enough, I decided to throw caution to the wind, and watch Obama’s State of the Union Address. Predictably, that just about did me in.

My first impression was that I was watching something that could best be described as “Groundhog Year.” I mean, there were times during his 2014 Call to Action, I was certain that, thanks to my meds, I was hallucinating and reliving his earlier addresses to Congress. The words were the same, all about economic recovery, comprehensive immigration reform, income inequality and even, bless my soul, shutting down Guantanamo.

Even the backdrop was the same: John Boehner, looking twice as dark as Obama, and Joe Biden, pointing at folks in the audience, grinning like a ninny and listening for cues so he’d know when to hop up and be a cheerleader.

Frankly, when I listen to something as long and boring as a State of the Union Address, I begin to understand the attraction of being President. In what other endeavor could you hope to be that tedious and still have people interrupt a 68 minute speech 85 times to give you a standing ovation?

Heck, Obama has those chimps so well trained that even when he told them he was going to nullify Congress and the Constitution by legislating through executive fiat, he had them cheering. It would have been like French royals on their way to the guillotine shouting, “Long live Robespierre!”

It was as if Obama were refuting those who claim we’re on our way to being a banana republic by pointing out that we don’t have any bananas.

Obama said, “The American people want the government to focus on their lives.” Right, that’s why ObamaCare, the IRS and the NSA, are so darn popular. Maybe Sasha and Malia still need a Big Mama and a Big Daddy in their lives, but the rest of us can do very nicely without a Big Brother.

Finally, my suggestion to the GOP is that they end the tradition of following the Address with a rebuttal. Unlike many, I didn’t think that Rep. Kathy McMorris Rogers did an awful job. She seemed like a nice person and she set a nice tone, and she was certainly an improvement over Bobby Jindal, who came across like a teenage prankster who had snuck his way onto the set. The problem is that you can’t replicate the pomp and ceremony of speaking before the 535 members of Congress, the Joint Chiefs of Staff and those pathetic members of the Supreme Court who don’t mind being employed as political props.

So unless the GOP is going to go in an entirely different direction, perhaps involving jugglers, showgirls and a stand-up comic – something that actually gives people a reason to stay tuned, I suggest you leave it to people such as myself to rebut Obama.

Now that the Republicans in Congress have come up with their own proposals involving health care, trade, energy, Iran and immigration, I suggest it’s high time that Obama and Reid step aside and stop being obstructionists.

Because reading was giving me a headache, I have had to resort to watching a lot more TV than usual. As a result, I know something that may have somehow escaped your attention: they had two inches of snow in Atlanta. The way TV covered the event, you’d have thought a hurricane had leveled Chicago. Not that that would be a bad thing. Somehow, I couldn’t help wondering if Chris Christie would be found responsible for those traffic jams.

The one thought that kept occurring to me, but apparently not to the TV reporters, was that several thousand Atlanta cars and trucks were going to have to be steam-cleaned after being used as toilets for two days.

It also occurred to me that the common definition of insanity, constantly repeating the same action in the hope of a different result, could be fairly applied to those Republicans like myself who live in places like California, New York, Hawaii and Massachusetts, who continue voting in elections.

Never have I received so much email on any subject as I did on the day Henry Waxman announced his retirement. It was the way that people must have felt in 1945 when we got word that Japan had surrendered.

My own glee was restrained because I knew that the real problem wasn’t Waxman, as awful as he’s been; it was the voters who kept electing him for 40 years. Those schmoes will simply elect a younger version of Waxman.

Frankly, I’m amazed that Henry is quitting at the relatively young age of 75. After all, Charley Rangel is still hanging in there at 83 and John Dingell, 87, has socks older than Henry.

My theory is that after the heady days of Obama’s first administration when the Democrats ran everything and Henry, as an early supporter and a guy with tons of seniority, chaired several committees and was on TV nearly as often as Nancy Pelosi, being a member of the House minority has been an ongoing torment.

I’ll give the last word to my friend, Dr. Harry Maller. When he got the news of Waxman’s imminent departure, Doc theorized he was resigning in order to spend more time with his nose.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

NOTES FROM A SICK BED

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Between the surgery and the flu, I have been pretty much housebound for a few weeks now. Between coughing, sneezing, taking meds and doing the hand exercises prescribed by the physical therapist, you wouldn’t think I’d have time to also be annoyed on an hourly basis by external events. But God, in putting me through Job’s trials, has not even spared me that.

For instance, David Ortiz, the 38-year-old designated hitter for the Boston Red Sox has been negotiating a new contract. He has asked for a multi-year deal, but because of his advanced age, the team has been reluctant to oblige. Mr. Ortiz is certainly within his rights to ask for the moon, but it’s the basis of his demand that has me reaching for the double strength Tylenol. It seems that Ortiz, who has been a major leaguer for 17 seasons and received $112 million in salary, exclusive of endorsements which, last year alone, brought in an additional five million, is requesting the multi-year deal for the security it would provide! I’d say Ortiz gives a whole new meaning to financial “insecurity.”

Whenever I read about prisons dumping inmates because of over-crowding, I find myself asking why Obama never mentions prisons when he yaks about funding for infrastructures. God knows we have enough roads and bridges. We merely have to maintain them. It’s obviously prisons that are in dangerously short supply.

I know a lot of people whose favorite TV show was “Monk.” I liked it, but I didn’t love it. Its strong points were its star, Tony Shalhoub, its novel mysteries and the fact that, for once in a TV crime show, the police captain wasn’t either corrupt or stupid and acting as a stumbling block to the gifted detective.

What I didn’t like is that the producers lacked respect for the viewers. For instance, we were told that it was the murder of his beloved wife Trudy that turned Monk from a normal person into an obsessive-compulsive, but subsequent flashback episodes showed him to be suffering from an advanced case of OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder) when he first meets his future wife in college. When she first brings him home to meet her parents, she even has to slice his food for him and make certain the various items on his plate don’t touch.

It also bugged me that in addition to his various fears and phobias, the producers felt compelled, for no discernible reason, to make Monk as miserly as Jack Benny’s classic tightwad persona. But, unlike Benny, it was never funny. It merely made him look small and petty. For instance, when his assistant Natalie, a single mother with a young daughter, pleads for her overdue salary, Monk blithely turns her down. But, as we later discover, Natalie’s adoring parents are San Francisco millionaires, so she might just as well be paying Monk a salary.

On one occasion, Monk even stiffs a young neighbor who has babysat a dog for him.

Maybe it’s just me, but I have this feeling that if I knew the show’s producers, I wouldn’t like them.

As I recently wrote, the announced retirement of Henry Waxman is a good thing because it removes 40 years of seniority from the left side of the House aisle. Still, when people speak of term limits, 20 isn’t usually the number they have in mind, but I suppose it’s better than no limits at all. As I pointed out, however, change is not a synonym for improvement, as Obama has proven over the past five years.

Now, lest you think I was too pessimistic when I suggested that breaking out the confetti and party hats was premature, none other than Sandra (“Somebody has to pay for my damn birth control pills!”) Fluke has announced she is considering running for Waxman’s seat!

To this day, like-minded people keep sending me emails questioning Obama’s religion and his birthplace. Inasmuch as I have already declared that the only portion of the Constitution to which I object is its prohibition of the foreign-born to be President, I personally don’t really care about his background. Knowing he was a product of Chicago politics was more than enough for me. If the worst thing about Obama is that he’s an Arab, a Muslim or was born in Kenya, we’d all be a lot better off. Better an ex-Kenyan than an ex-community organizer. After all, nobody questions the religion or birthplace of Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, Maxine Waters or Dick Durbin. The problem with them and with Obama is that they are devout left-wingers, which makes them all fascists at heart.

They will all lie, cheat and steal, in pursuit of their ends because they all subscribe to the Marxist maxim that the ends justify the means.

And the end, as we have seen over the past several years, is the fundamental transformation of America from a shining city on a hill to a Soviet-like slum, where few speak Russian, but you still have to hit a button on your phone if you wish to speak English.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



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Monday, February 17, 2014

ALL THE NEWS IT’S FIT TO RIDICULE

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

It seems that the feds have committed over $200 million to teaching Afghan soldiers to read, and it’s not working. I could have warned them. Why on earth would anyone expect we could teach them to read when we can’t even teach our own kids?

It doesn’t appear that Chris Christie’s troubles are going to end anytime soon, and I wouldn’t feel right piling on, but honesty compels me to say that the only way I would believe he had nothing to do with closing those lanes on the George Washington Bridge is if he himself had been stuck in the traffic jam.

Covered California, our state’s contribution to ObamaCare, spent $1.3 million on an eight-hour telecast featuring the perennially embarrassing Richard Simmons. There is a state senator calling for an audit, for all the good that will do. I’d be more interested in finding out if the sight of Simmons cavorting in his tights actually persuaded people to sign up for the program. That would be a very scary group of individuals.

People have quite correctly complained that far too many Mexicans come here, not to become Americans, but to turn us into Mexico. Still, it should also be noted that large numbers of Californians have left here and turned Oregon and Washington into northern versions of the swamp they left, just as transplanted New Yorkers have wreaked havoc in such places as Connecticut, Vermont and Florida.

Liberals who contend that the legalization of marijuana won’t contribute to greater numbers of traffic accidents and fatalities because there’s no statistical evidence proving it have chosen to ignore the fact it’s difficult to prove because there’s no easy way to measure marijuana’s involvement, as there is with booze. But it stands to reason that any substance whose primary purpose is to distort reality is going to play havoc with one’s reflexes and response time.

When some people, including the erudite Charles Krauthammer, say that the debacle known as ObamaCare will set back the liberal movement for decades, my heart wants to believe him, but my head is a tad too skeptical. I know a recent poll suggests that even a majority of Democrats now contend that Big Government is the greatest danger we have to face, scoring 72% versus a combined 26% for Big Business and Big Unions, but I’m not buying it. As for the missing two percent, I’m assuming it was equally divided between Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.

That’s not to say I’m not hoping that the health care bill cobbled together in Dr. Frankenstein’s basement won’t result in the GOP wrenching control of the Senate out of Harry Reid’s bloody claws. But look how quickly the Democrats, along with their shills in the media, were able to blame the real estate crash of 2008 on the Republicans and a few major financial entities like Lehman Brothers.

But the Republicans were pretty much innocent bystanders and the wolves of Wall Street may have driven the getaway car, but it was the Democrats – through their customary pandering for minority votes – who were pulling off the heist by forcing lenders to lower the required down payment for home purchases from the normal 10-20% down to 5%, then 3% and finally all the way to 0%, and, by the way, to ignore the home buyer’s credit history.

Under those circumstances, the only real question was when, not if, the bubble, which was really more of a blister, burst. Unfortunately for the Republicans, it happened in the last year of George Bush’s administration, making it all too easy for the actual culprits, people like Barney Frank and Chris Dodd, to pin it on the innocent dupe.

Although it hasn’t received nearly enough attention, the Girl Scouts of America have gone rogue. Recently, the GSA named abortion advocate/Texas gubernatorial candidate/serial liar Wendy Davis as one of their “incredible women of the year.” It figures because for all intents and purposes the Scouts have become an adjunct of Planned Parenthood.

In addition, a Girl Scout guidebook told its little members to check things out with George Soros-funded Media Matters before believing what they read or hear. The Scouts are also being inundated with brochures, videos and conferences, promoting promiscuity and lesbian propaganda. So the next time you’re shopping for cookies, you might be wise to give the Girls a pass and consider Nabisco.

It seems as if almost every time some guy runs amok, he claims he was heeding a voice in his head. I know the feeling. In my case, I even know whose voice I keep hearing. It’s Barack Obama, and he’s telling me that “This is the moment when the rise of the oceans will begin to slow, and the planet will begin to heal.”

I must confess that I didn’t put much stock in it when he uttered those grandiose words back in 2009, but it did sound awfully ambitious even for a guy who used Greek pillars as props.

But five years later, I realize I say pretty much the same thing every time I have a successful bowel movement.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

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Friday, February 14, 2014

WARNING: HEAD EXPLOSIONS JUST AHEAD

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Eric Holder, whose greatest ambition was clearly to be the worst Attorney General in history, helped solidify his claim on the title by insisting that the Justice Department will not allow profiling on the basis of religion or national origin. I had assumed that was already the policy of an A.G. who is so corrupt, he refuses to prosecute racial hate crimes unless the target of the investigation is a white individual or a Tea Party group.

We’ve been engaged for the past 35 years in an undeclared war with Islam – undeclared by us, that is – but Mr. Holder regards it as rude if we concentrate on the religion or nationality of those sworn to murder us.

Anyone who isn’t worried sick over what Barack Obama and Eric (Mini Me) Holder, are doing to our justice system just hasn’t been paying close attention.

In fact, when you look at the Washington in-crowd that also includes Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Kathleen Sebelius, John Kerry and Zeke Emanuel, you could easily get the idea that when it comes to existential threats to America, Iran ranks no higher than tenth or eleventh.

I was never a partisan of Chris Christie, so it hardly concerns me that his poll numbers are dropping. But even if he hadn’t spent so much of October, 2012, cuddling with Barack Obama, I would have questioned his sanity once I learned, as I recently did, that he has attended 127 Bruce Springsteen concerts. I would expect that sort of thing from a teenager with a very rich, very indulgent, father, not from a grown-up with his eye on the White House. Frankly, I’m surprised that the tabloids haven’t glommed on to this and gone to town with headlines asserting that The Boss Has a Thing for “The Boss.”

Until I read about it in Townhall magazine, I’d been unaware that in 2012, the biographies of nearly all the past presidents were changed on WhiteHouse.gov to include something about Obama. So, for instance, Reagan’s bio was expanded to include the claim that Obama has the same tax policy as the fellow who cut the number of tax brackets from 15 down to two.

Knowing what we do of Obama’s boundless audacity, you can’t help wondering about other possible changes. Did Obama help James Madison write the Constitution, insisting to the bitter end that he include something about income inequality? Did he warn Lincoln not to attend Ford’s Theater, explaining that “Our American Cousin” had a deadly third act? Did he counsel FDR not to go to war with Germany and Japan, and, instead, to give peace a chance?

It’s no wonder that Obama will go down in history as last in war, last in peace and last in the hearts of his countrymen.

From 1927 through 1930, the Motion Picture Academy nominated five movies as the best of the year. In 1931, they nominated eight contenders. The next year, they nominated 10. It stayed that way until 1944, when they limited the number to five. Then, a couple of years ago, they changed it back up to 10. It certainly wasn’t because Hollywood had begun turning out great movies. There were two main reasons for the change. One, it helps sell tickets when you can mention an Oscar nomination in the ads. Two, it’s not easy satisfying all the humongous egos in Hollywood, and doubling the number of producers, directors and stars, who can brag they had something to do with an Oscar-nominated film is a pretty easy way to make it happen.

This year, for some reason, they only saw fit to nominate nine. Of the nine, I saw six. Of the six, only two were worthy of any sort of award, unless it were something bestowed by the pharmaceutical industry to honor the best sleep inducer not sold in a bottle. What is most notable about the number of nominees is that clearly they could have named a tenth, but chose not to. And the film that wasn’t on the list in spite of decent reviews, great box office and sensational word of mouth – and my own personal favorite of the year, even though I don’t happen to like war movies -- was “Lone Survivor.”

Was the fact it depicted American soldiers as authentic heroes, and not as thugs, rapists and mercenaries, the reason that such soporifics as “Her,” “American Hustle” and “Dallas Buyers Club” survived the cut and “Lone Survivor” didn’t?

When Wendy Davis, the woman who is trying to ride her 11-hour filibuster against a bill that would have banned abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy into the Texas governor’s mansion, was caught lying about her personal history, she said that in the future she would have to tighten up her language.

Did I hear “Tighten up her language?!” Translated into English, would that be “Stop lying?”

What is it with these creeps that prevent them from speaking like actual human beings? With politicians, they never fess up to fibbing. Instead, they misspeak, talk back their earlier statement or are guilty of not tightening up their language.

In Davis’s case, one of the things she wasn’t tight enough about was the fact that she did not work her way through college and law school; instead, her second husband paid her way. What’s more, in a breathtaking display of chutzpah, she walked out of the marriage the day after the poor schnook paid off the last of her school loans.

I am reminded of L.A.’s publicity-mad lawyer, the uberliberal Gloria Allred. Although she also claimed to have done it all on her own, in fact it was, again, a second husband who paid her way through law school. Still, in spite of being a devout feminist, she demanded and received alimony. A few years later, her ex went to prison on a fraud charge; she showed her gratitude by refusing to accept even a penny less in alimony once he served his sentence, although by then, she was making a nice living and, as an ex-con, he couldn’t find a job.

It should also be mentioned that Mr. Allred adopted Gloria’s daughter by her first husband and even paid her way through Yale Law School.

Second husbands, beware: If your wife decides to become a lawyer, you’d be the biggest sucker in town if you even considered financing the enterprise. When all is said and done, she won’t even have to pay a third party to take you to the cleaners.

I am still recuperating from my hand and wrist surgery, but I’d like to thank all who wrote with their good wishes. Some mentioned the possibility that even though the surgery wasn’t life-threatening, there was a very real possibility that I would experience serious mood changes. I was told that for a while, I might have to endure either suicidal or homicidal urges.

The problem, I quickly realized, is that even prior to the operation, every time I thought about what Obama and his circus of trained fleas were doing to America, I was experiencing both urges simultaneously and constantly.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

VEXATIONS

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Income inequality is very much in the wind because Obama keeps whining about it, convinced that resentment over the likes of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Ted Turner and their billions will lead people to vote for Democrats in November.

This is sloppy thinking for several reasons. One, even if those guys didn’t exist, I’d be no richer than I am today. Two, this administration has done nothing to diminish the inequality; in fact, during the past few years, wealthy people have seen their fortunes increase enormously, while the poor and the middle class have fallen even further back than they were when the Obamas moved into the White House. And, finally, Gates, Buffet and Turner, along with billionaires Oprah Winfrey, David Geffen, Russell Simmons and the Weinstein brothers, are all card-carrying Democrats.

For that matter, the Obamas are worth roughly $11 million and I’m betting that between 2017 and 2024, they will out-distance the Clintons, who piled up $100 million between 2001 and 2007.

The former governor of Virginia, Bob McDonnell, and his wife are up to their heinies in sewage because they received $124,000 in cash and gifts from Jonnie Williams, the owner of a diet supplementary company called Star Scientific. Let it be said that used car salesmen look down on those involved in the diet supplementary business. Especially if he’s the sort of slippery operator who spells his name Jonnie.

The ex-governor claims he did nothing unseemly to garner such lavish symbols of affection as Rolex watches and a top of the line wardrobe for Mrs. O’Donnell. For her part, when their troubles began coming to light, the missus told her staff that she and the governor were broke, and therefore needed all the gifts they could get their mitts on. What nobody has been able to explain is how, once the couple felt the hot breath of the investigators on their necks, the weasels were suddenly able to re-pay the $124,000. If you’re anything like me, you can’t help wondering who bailed them out.

What is it with the Olympic Committee? It’s one thing for the U.N. to throw its doors open to the most corrupt nations on earth, but why allow Vladimir Putin to host a major event on the world stage? I think we’d all agree that 78 years is a long time. Surely, it’s more than enough time for the Olympians to have learned that handing the torch over to Adolf Hitler in 1936 was a lousy idea.

The latest stat that’s been floating around insists that the 85 richest people in the world have as much money as the poorest 3.5 billion people. I don’t know if it’s even true, but so what? It’s not as if wealthy people bury their money in the backyard. If those 85 people are starting companies, hiring people, building hospitals, financing medical research and supporting the arts, how is that not better than dividing their money so that each of those 3.5 billion people can have an extra fifty bucks to blow on Twinkies, cigarettes and lottery tickets?

Because I’m a fan of the New York Yankees, a few people have asked me what I thought of the teams’ offseason acquisitions. Assuming that the entire team doesn’t wind up in the hospital, as happened last season, I’d say that the addition of Carlos Beltran, Jacoby Ellsbury, Brian McCann and Masahiro Tanaka, has to help. In fact, I said, on paper, the team looks as good as any of Joe Torre’s Yankee teams of the late 90s. Then I went on to suggest that the Yankees might be wise to consider ripping up the grass in Yankee Stadium and playing the entire season on paper.

My advice to politicians is that if they’re going to accept bribes, be sure it’s in the untraceable form of cash. I understand that used 20s and 50s work best. The fact is that once you start flaunting $15,000 wristwatches and Versace gowns, even stupid people are going to begin noticing.

As long as I’m advising Republican politicians, I wouldn’t want to short change Democrats. So, here goes: Wendy Davis, I understand that everyone likes to pad their resume a little bit. So what if you didn’t spend years in a trailer park? So what if it was one of your ex-husbands who financed your time at Harvard, and that you didn’t pay your own way selling matchbooks while huddled in the snow? Heck, if I’m going to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t First Team All American at Notre Dame, I was not the second person to walk on the moon and I did not earn the Medal of Honor.

Some people are going to hear what they want to hear. I get that. But when you defend your lies by first falsely claiming that your opponent, Greg Abbott, blew the whistle on you, and then suggest that a man who has been a paraplegic since 1984, when an oak tree fell on him, should walk a mile in your shoes, don’t be too surprised if Texas voters decide that you are basically an ungrateful brat who should roll a mile on his wheels before opening your silly yap.


©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Monday, February 10, 2014

DOUBLING DOWN ON CRAZY

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

While rehabilitating from my operation, I keep seeing TV ads in which an off-screen voice tries to lure business to New York State by insisting “it’s open to innovation, ambition and bold ideas.” Clearly it’s not the voice of Gov. Cuomo, who has said that unless you are in favor of abortions and homosexuals, and opposed to the Second Amendment, New York is no place for you, no matter how bold your ideas happen to be.

But that is consistent with the way that liberals think or, rather, fail to think. Consider the way they muddy up the language. The opposite of Pro-Life, after all, is not Pro-Choice; it’s Pro-Death. And only liberals would think of naming the world’s biggest abortion mill Planned Parenthood.

Recently, I heard a member of the media come up with an oxymoron I had never come across before when she referred to compassionate abortion care, and she did so with a straight face.

Speaking of abortions, I continue to marvel at the fact the Supreme Court based its decision in Roe v. Wade on a woman’s right to privacy. For one thing, there is no such right mentioned in the Constitution. For another, if a woman has an inalienable right to murder a baby in her womb, shouldn’t she also have the right to murder a clerk in a liquor store?

And, finally, as my wife often points out, why is it that the sperm donor is always left out of the equation? One man can get six women pregnant in a single week, and he faces no prosecution. Instead, he is likely to boast of his accomplishment to his fellow apes.

Meanwhile, society is quick to tell a woman that she must either choose to have an abortion or be stuck with the financial burden of raising the child on her own or by accepting welfare for herself and the child, a deal that is every bit as soul-killing as the one cut by Faust.

Some changes in society seem to take generations. Others take place so rapidly, they put you in mind of hummingbirds, those little dynamos that are capable of changing direction faster than a Democrat facing an election in November can change his or her position when it comes to ObamaCare.

But it’s not just the Unaffordable Care Act that has people changing in mid-step. A person would have risked whiplash trying to track how quickly we went from shunning single mothers, homosexuals and such traitors as Jane Fonda and Edward Snowden, to celebrating them.

Mrs. Obama, whom I’m told is very popular for reasons I can’t begin to fathom, recently found it necessary to mention that she greatly admires Ms. Fonda. I didn’t hear what it was that she found particularly admirable. Was it the typical anti-capitalistic rhetoric of every Hollywood pinhead who has milked the system for every last nickel; the three divorces; or perhaps it was her support of the North Vietnamese during a war in which our troops were regularly tortured while she mugged for the cameras a few yards away?

The Friends of Abe, a group of Hollywood conservatives, recently garnered a lot of publicity when it was found that, like a great many other right-wing groups, it had ran afoul of an IRS that has added “left-wing hit squad” to all the other insults that have been hurled in its direction over the years.

Judging by my email, many of you have suspected that I’m a Friend. I was, but I quit the group a few years ago. For one thing, all of their events cost too much money, driving home the fact that with such people as Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight and Gary Sinise, in leadership positions, $40 wasn’t regarded as too steep a price to pay for lunch. It was the same old Hollywood caste system at work. The only difference is that this one was established by conservatives.

But there was something about the group that I found even more objectionable. I don’t like secret organizations. Never have, never will. I understood that the members were afraid of being blacklisted by the very creeps who never stop harping about the immorality of the blacklist that targeted progressives 65 years ago. But inasmuch as I am quite open about my politics and was equally honest even back in the days I was working on “Diagnosis Murder” and surrounded by liberal writers, directors and cast members, I found it creepy. So while I could understand FOA’s preference for anonymity, I couldn’t respect it.

Besides all that, the group didn’t even support any candidates. All they really did was have lunch.

When my wife told me that Bill O’Reilly was inviting his viewers to submit questions he would ask Obama on Super Bowl Sunday, I suggested “Inasmuch as you’ve consistently vilified Fox News for the past five years, what the heck are you doing here today? Have you agreed to the interview because your poll numbers are plunging so quickly that Valerie Jarrett decided that desperate times call for desperately hypocritical measures? What’s next – a beer summit with Rush Limbaugh?”

When Muslim terrorists threatened to make their presence felt at the Olympic Games in Sochi, Obama quickly responded by sending men, equipment and warships, to help beef up Russian security.

I’m sure that somewhere, Ambassador Chris Stevens was musing, “Instead of diplomacy, I knew I should have taken up figure skating.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

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Friday, February 7, 2014

ENOUGH WITH THE DAMN “GATES”!

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

Is it too much to ask that the media stop adding “gate” to every political scandal? Has everyone forgotten that Watergate was actually the name of the building where Nixon’s plumbers, who clearly channeled their inner Three Stooges, broke in to the DNC headquarters. I mean, if the place had been, say, the Park Sheraton, would every subsequent scandal have had “Sheraton” pinned to it? I suppose I should be grateful that the recent furor over the former Defense Secretary’s expose wasn’t labeled Gatesgate.

Still, I say 40 years is long enough; it’s time for the media to move on because it has become something of a tritegate.

We all know that Obama is a wienie, the sort of kid we all knew in junior high school who received daily wedgies. Still, how is it possible that President Rouhani boasts after signing the abominable peace treaty, ”The west surrendered to the will of Iran,” and our president doesn’t immediately cancel the deal carved out by John Kerry and the other five dwarves?

Iran’s defense minister celebrated the occasion by laying a wreath at the tomb of the jihadist responsible for killing 241 U.S. Marines in 1983, and Obama responds by calling those senators who wish to impose harsher sanctions on Iran if it doesn’t abide by the treaty as “warmongers.”

Even if we forget impeachment for a minute, is there nobody in Washington who can give this schmuck the super wedgie he’s been begging for?

Speaking of Iran, its major news agency claimed that documents leaked by Edward Snowden provide “incontrovertible proof that an alien intelligence agenda is driving America’s domestic and international policy.” To which I say, “Well duh! And, what’s more, we re-elected the alien!”

I confess I thought I was caught in a time warp when, in response to those questioning the wisdom of signing the agreement with a rogue nation that not only allows them to continue its pursuit of a nuclear bomb, but tosses in seven billion dollars to sweeten the pot, Obama said we should “give peace a chance.” Suddenly, I thought I was watching “Back to the Future IV.” I expected he would next suggest we should “Make love, not war.” I thought that sort of swill had died with the 60s, along with such silly fads as bell bottoms, Nehru jackets and beads, and knuckleheads saying “groovy,” “cool” and “Some of my best friends are Kenyans.”

Our State Department keeps sending millions of dollars for reasons I can’t imagine to places like Nigeria. At the same time, I keep hearing from Nigerians offering to send me millions of dollars. It makes no sense. My suggestion is that the feds skip the middle man and send the money directly to me.

Speaking of waste, according to the Inspector General, Medicare spent $175 million between 2006 and 2011 on penis pumps. What’s with you people? Isn’t there anyone in America who still bowls or plays gin rummy?

The current administration spends more and more time talking about the vanishing middle class and less and less time changing its policies in order to deal with the problem. Ever since FDR showed them how it was done, the Democrats have relied on a dependent constituency in order to win elections. They pay lip service to a middle class, but the only members of it they’re concerned about are those enrolled in public sector unions, from whom they receive votes and tithings.

The fact of the matter is that the real middle class doesn’t just have a financial identity. In spite of what liberals will tell you, it’s also a way of life. It consists in part in education and learning a skill – whether the end result is a brain surgeon or a plumber – being law-abiding, forsaking illegal drugs and not having babies until you’re married and can afford to raise them. In addition, members of the middle class tend to be patriotic, not out of chauvinism, but because they sincerely believe in the exceptional nature of the nation founded by the extraordinary likes of Washington, Madison and Jefferson.

Liberals assume you can ignore all those other things, though, and so long as the government provides people with $50,000-a-year, whether it’s through extended unemployment payments, disability checks, food stamps, a home purchased without a down payment or free health insurance, you can magically transform millions of welfare recipients into a stable middle class.

Another thing that Obama and his minions are wrong about is trying to use mass killings as a way to wage war on the Second Amendment. For one thing, when most normal people hear about these tragic events, they don’t say to themselves, “Something has to be done about those damn guns.” Instead, they say, “The shooters were obviously mental cases. Why didn’t any of their relatives, friends, teachers or psychiatrists, get them to an asylum before they blew their corks?”

The next thing they say, assuming they’re not liberals, who also shouldn’t be allowed to run around loose, is, “I wish to God there had been someone in the neighborhood who could have plugged the maniac before his final tally reached double digits.”

Finally, with all the tacky sex scandals that politicians get involved in, you would think that adultery was part of the job description. Therefore, my advice to any woman who’s seriously considering marrying one of these twerps is that she forget about registering at any of those stores specializing in fancy dishware and sterling silver. You can always buy your own dishes, toasters and teapots. Instead, you’d be much better off registering at a local gun shop.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Don’t miss a single article: Subscribe to BurtPrelutsky.com by email.

Enjoy Burt’s latest collection of interviews: 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.

Get your personally autographed copy of 67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die for $30, Barack Obama: You're Fired! for $25, or Liberals: America’s Termites for just $15. Or get all three for just $50! (All prices include postage & handling.)

For more information about these titles, including special combination and multiple copy discounts, visit Burt’s Bookstore.

To order by mail, send your check to:

Burt Prelutsky
16604 Dearborn St.
North Hills, CA 91343-3604

You can now use PayPal to purchase my books or make a donation to BurtPrelutsky.com.

Click here to send money to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com. Don't forget to specify whether this is a donation, or a book payment with your address, and be certain to include the autograph instructions.



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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

ETHICS & EDUCATION

I'm sure that some of you feel guilty about reading three or four of my articles every week for free. Absolution is available by sending a donation to Burt Prelutsky at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. PayPal also works.

Also, please check out the information on my radio show that is posted on my website.


by Burt Prelutsky

For a long time, I’ve thought that people must be really starved for role models if they keep looking to those in the public arena to fill the vacuum.

I am not one of those people who believe that every politician is venal and corrupt, but neither am I someone who thinks that we should admire those whose only accomplishments consist of casting votes and giving speeches.

Recently, Robert Gates garnered a great deal of attention for writing a book in which he took Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, to task. Once you got past the totally insincere compliments he apparently felt obliged to pay the first two, he basically made a case that none of them was to be trusted. Inasmuch as I had already come to that conclusion without his prompting, my question is why he didn’t resign when he first discovered the truth about them.

I suppose a possible defense would be that he felt he could do more good on the inside than he could as an outsider, except that he quickly discovered he had no real influence when it came to policy. So, in reality, the only purpose he served was as a token for Obama, who could point to Gates and claim he’d reached out to a Republican to serve as his Secretary of Defense.

The fact is that with a President as partisan as Obama, no Republican is going to have any real effect on him. It’s a mistake reminiscent of the one that women often make when they decide they can transform a bully into a pussycat by marrying him. The only change they can honestly expect is that they’ll turn a bum who abuses his girlfriends into a bum who abuses his wife.

In the case of Christie, it shouldn’t have taken the bridge scandal to open the eyes of those morons who decided he should be our answer to Hillary in 2016. It’s one thing for a guy who comes off like a thug to be the governor of New Jersey, and quite another to have his rump perched in the Oval Office.

It wasn’t that long ago, after all, that Christie, tapped to deliver Romney’s nominating address at the Republican convention, spent so much time prattling on about himself that he seemed to forget who the nominee actually was. Not since Obama took all the credit for killing Osama bin Laden, had anyone crammed so many personal pronouns into a single speech.

The next thing we knew, there was Christie, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, just a week prior to the presidential election, walking hand-in-hand with Obama. It looked so much like an eHarmony TV commercial, I almost expected the announcer to point out they both enjoy bubble baths, cuddling and midnight strolls on moonlit beaches. It was such an unsightly spectacle that some folks suggested the two of them should have rented a room.

Some females – generally, but not exclusively, young girls -- are apparently so lacking in appropriate role models, they look to real life models for their inspiration. What they fail to understand is that whereas the average American woman is 5’4” and weighs 140 pounds, the typical model, those human giraffes they wish to emulate, on average are 5’11” and weigh110 pounds.

Recently, a reader took me to task for lumping all teachers as “brain-dead.” He went on to state that he knew a great many teachers “who work very hard, care a great deal about their students and don’t agree with many of the policies that are put in place by New York State.”

He went on at some length, and I had no reason to question his intelligence or doubt his sincerity. But that didn’t prevent me from writing back: “I have no doubt that there are some teachers who are not brain-dead. But the fact that they have not risen up and done something about their union suggests they might as well be.

“Those who run the teaching programs at colleges are always extremely liberal, so it is no surprise that the entire profession is dedicated to promoting leftist policies and supporting Obama with their votes and their union dues. They are as dense and as predictable as social workers. Furthermore, it is no surprise that they are constantly embarrassing themselves by suspending little boys from school for pointing their fingers and going “Bang!” or, in other words, for behaving like little boys.

“What do your teacher friends say about their colleagues in Wisconsin who trashed the capitol building a few years back when Gov. Scott Walker and the legislature voted to cut future pensions because of the impending state bankruptcy and who, moreover, got phony medical excuses to cover their absences from the classroom? Worst of all, the members of the mob insisted they were doing it all for the children, thus adding hypocrisy to their laundry list of sins and misdemeanors.

“There are two reasons that better results are achieved in private schools, be they religious or secular, in spite of having far less money available; one, the parents are more involved and, two, the teachers are paid to teach, not to indoctrinate.

“There was a time when teachers were actually underpaid. That day has come and gone. And for all their usual blather about how wonderful public schools are, I wager that no more than five percent of Democratic office holders have their kids enrolled in them. And when it comes to those residing in Washington, D.C., I’m wagering it’s 0%.”

Speaking of schools, the Civil Rights office in the Department of Education thinks it’s because of racism that black and Hispanic students are suspended or kicked out of schools for disciplinary infractions far more often than white kids.

Just curious, but has it occurred to these bureaucratic pinheads that the lack of discipline might somehow be the result of illegitimacy rates that show that 72.3% of black kids are being raised by unmarried women, 53.3% of Hispanic kids and only 29.1% of white kids?

I grant that 29.1% is nothing to brag about. That is until you compare it to what’s going on in the minority communities, where the overwhelming majority of males have gone AWOL, leaving it up to all those terrible white bigots to support their women and children.

But I expect it’s too much to ask that people who are being paid to spot civil rights infractions ever bother looking into the actual source of the problem. After all, as the schools, the media and left-wing politicians keep insisting, members of minority groups must never be held responsible for their problems.

Besides, it’s so much easier and a lot more fun to simply holler “Racism!” in a crowded theater.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

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