Monday, June 30, 2014


I realize that the late Sen. Goldwater is anathema to liberals, even to those who only know him as the unfortunate victim of a famous TV spot in which a little girl picking a flower appears to be vaporized by a nuclear bomb. The vile message in 1964 was that Goldwater was a nutburger who was anxious to get us involved in a nuclear showdown with the Soviet Union. Because most voters 50 years ago were just as dumb as they are today, 61% of them voted for LBJ, who took that as a signal to sink us even deeper into the quagmire of Vietnam.

What more people should remember about Goldwater is based on fact, not a slander perpetuated by a cynical political operative; namely, that he was the man, the Republican senator, who went to Richard Nixon and told him to his face that it was time to resign, that he was an embarrassment not only to the nation, but to the political party to which they both belonged.

Isn’t it a shame that there is no Democrat of equal stature who will go to Obama and point out that what he is doing by ignoring the Constitutional limits on the executive branch, by racking up one scandal after another and by unleashing the dogs at the IRS and the EPA on innocent Americans, is not only bad for the nation, but will be a disaster for every Democrat seeking election this coming November?

Instead, such influential senators as Reid, Durbin, Schumer, Boxer, Sanders and Levin, like parents who choose to subsidize their son’s heroin addiction, clap Obama on the back and tell him he’s doing a swell job.

To better judge just how great a job Obama is doing, the son of a friend of mine drew up a comparison between 2008 and today. Six years ago, we had 118 million fulltime workers, today there are a million fewer. Because we now have more people, that means that workplace participation back then was 65%; today it’s down to 62.8%. Home ownership has dipped from 67.5% to 65%. Median income has gone from $53,644 to $51,017. The poverty level has risen from 13.2% to 15%. Obama has increased the number of people receiving food stamps from 28.2 million to a ridiculous 47.6 million. And, finally, and perhaps most disastrous of all, the debt to GDP ratio has soared from 64.8% to 101.6%.

With the midterm elections now less than four months away, it bears my repeating myself that a vote for any Democrat is a vote for more of the same from Obama and his acolytes. And if you happen to have been one of those Republican brats who stayed home in 2012 because Rick Santorum, Ron Paul or Newt Gingrich, wasn’t the nominee, or because Romney was a Mormon, you have no right to blame a biased media or voter fraud for saddling us with four additional years of the worst president, and the most corrupt administration in American history. The fault is entirely yours. We had enough registered voters to win, but far too many of you ignoramuses were at home, sulking.

In defending his loony foreign policy as it pertained to Iraq, Obama said, “Just because something was stable two years or four years ago doesn’t mean it’s stable today.” True. After all, even America was pretty stable as recently as five years ago.

The one statement that annoys me nearly as much as the lie about Islam being a religion of peace is the one that insists Saudi Arabia is an ally. Everyone knows that Saudi royals subsidize Islamic terrorists as a way of paying protection money in the hope that they’ll be the last item on the alligator’s menu.

Another thing that irks me no end is when our politicians carry on about how they overcame the poverty they were born into or when Hillary Clinton wipes away the tears when she looks back 14 years and $150 million ago to the sad day when she and Bill had to temporarily borrow millions from their pal Terry McAuliffe in order to buy a couple of mansions, while waiting for her bank to clear the $8 million check from her publisher.

Of course it’s not just Democrats who play up the born-in-a-log-cabin saga. I seem to recall Rick Santorum referring to his own underprivileged background. My question is why we should care how poor someone’s folks happened to be. It seems to me that unless you worked in the private sector the way Mitt Romney did, the only way that people like Joe Biden, John Edwards, Harry Reid, John Kerry or Dianne Feinstein, ever get to be kazillionaires is by being ambulance-chasing shysters, taking graft or marrying rich people. It’s certainly not, as they invariably insist, the result of good, honest, labor.

For a while, I couldn’t even imagine anyone being more obnoxiously arrogant than Barack Obama, but that’s only because I had never laid eyes on IRS Commissioner John Kiskinen. After watching him testify before Congress and turn his icy gaze on Paul Ryan for daring to doubt his veracity, I fully expected Rep. Ryan to be turned into a block of salt. In fact, I would warn anyone who even considered shaking Kiskinen’s hand that he stood a good chance of losing one or more fingers in the process, either through theft or frostbite.

Speaking of the IRS, any Democrat who dares spring to its defense needs to be reminded that when she was called to testify before a congressional committee, former IRS Commissioner Lois Lerner decided to plead the 5th Amendment. That was her right. But inasmuch as the whole purpose of the 5th is to protect oneself against self-incrimination, and thus face possible criminal charges, nobody can be blamed for assuming the worst, whether the person is a Mafia don or a federal bureaucrat.

It recently came to light that not only was this administration not caught by surprise when tens of thousands of unaccompanied Central American kids showed up at our southern border, but they had advertised back in January for contractors who would be willing to transport 65,000 of them to other parts of the country.

Naturally, Obama hasn’t seen fit to comment on this exploding humanitarian crisis. But, then, as you may have noticed, whenever the going gets tough, Obama goes golfing.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Saturday, June 28, 2014

"Is It Murder Or Suicide?"

There are times when I suspect that people like Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Schumer, Boxer and Durbin, should have their photos on the wall of the post office as suspects in the killing of America. Other times, I remember that all of these people, along with the likes of Elijah Cummings, Brad Sherman, Henry Waxman, Sheila Jackson Lee and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, have all been elected numerous times, so perhaps it’s America that’s chosen to commit suicide.

As many of you recall, a doctor named Jack Kevorkian was generally reviled for assisting the terminally ill achieve a painless death. Some people called him a vulture. I was not one of them. It seems to me that if a person chooses to end his pain and suffering by ending his life, he shouldn’t be denied that which we bestow, ironically, on both our beloved pets and the vilest serial killers.

But some of us aren’t yet ready to go, and we certainly aren’t complacent about the homicidal impulses of the so-called Progressives. Everywhere we turn, we see them actively attempting to destroy America. We see them weakening our military, alienating our traditional allies, destroying the economy and erasing our borders. And none of these things are happening accidentally or as the result of unfortunate circumstances.

A friend of mine, Dr. Harry Maller, suggested that because Obama attended Columbia, perhaps he got his agenda from Cloward and Piven, two Columbia professors, rather than from Chicago’s Saul Alinsky. My own guess is that all three of them influenced young Obama.

Those of you who only know the names of Richard Cloward (1926-2001) and his wife, Frances Fox Piven, born in 1932 but still alive, from Glenn Beck might not know that their claim to fame was an article written in 1966, titled “The Weight of the Poor: A Strategy to End Poverty,” that appeared in The Nation. At the time they were both professors at the Columbia University School of Social Work.

Basically, the plan they proposed called for overloading the U.S. welfare system in order to precipitate a crisis that they believed would inevitably lead to replacing it with a guaranteed annual income. As they saw it, the bonus is that it would shore up support for the Democratic Party.

In recent years, we’ve seen signs of this strategy all around us. It is no accident, after all, that there are 48 million Americans now receiving free food through SNAP, that millions more are receiving extended unemployment benefits, that Medicaid is ballooning to the bursting point thanks to the Affordable Care Act, and that disability checks are being mailed out every month to a legion of shameless liars and cheats.

To see the strategy at work before your very eyes, you need only look to the southern border, where every day hundreds of illegal aliens, many of them children, are throwing themselves on the mercy of our welfare system. And the reason they keep coming is because this administration keeps inviting them, and because, like every other previous administration, it refuses to build a wall.

But it’s not the politicians alone who are guilty of this outrage to our sovereignty. They are aided and abetted by the Catholic and Evangelical churches. Priests and ministers collude in claiming they are merely following Christ’s teachings when they collect the illegal aliens, feed them, clean them, and then bus them to outlying cities and even other states.

Funny, but I don’t recall reading where Jesus told anyone to over-run America by destroying our schools, undermining our economy and over-taxing our social services. They can put all the lipstick, mascara and rouge, they like on this particular pig, but their main purpose in flouting the law and common sense is to fill their respective pews.

As for the liberal politicians who condone this scandalous behavior, I find it peculiar that at the same time they promote diversity – at least when it comes to pigmentation and sexual proclivities – they’re encouraging one specific group, Hispanics, to invade this nation.

For this reason, and so many more, I would like to see Barack Obama impeached. But not now, when it would only serve to draw attention away from all the scandals bedeviling the Democrats. But once the midterm elections are over and the Republicans have taken control of the Senate, I want to see Obama tried for high crimes and misdemeanors. It’s bad enough that this bum has managed to conceal all of his essential documents. But it would be criminal if he didn’t face prosecution for turning the IRS, the FBI and even the U.S. Patent Office, into his own personal attack dogs, and for violating both the letter and the spirit of the U.S. Constitution.

Finally, a friend suggested that I poll my readers. It makes sense. After all, we are always being asked to pay attention to polls conducted by the likes of Fox News, the NY Times, Gallup, Frank Luntz, Zogby and Pew. So while I understand that my readers don’t actually represent a cross-section of the American public because they tend to be both conservative and literate, I would be very interested in hearing from you.

The poll consists of four and a half questions: (1) Which of the TV commentators do you trust the most? (2) What do you consider to be the biggest problem facing America today? (Please limit it to a single issue, and not just say the creep in the Oval Office. That’s a given.) (3) Do you agree that Obama should face impeachment in 2015? (4) Who would you most like to see the Republicans nominate in 2016? (4a) Who would you least like to see at the top of the GOP ticket?

Please reply to me at

At least now you’ll have to quit bad-mouthing polls simply because no pollster has ever asked for your opinion.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, June 27, 2014

Education, Politics & Racism

I never want people to assume that just because I have questions about colleges and universities, I oppose education. It’s just that the current system makes no sense. For one thing, the cost of a college education has increased by 1,200% over the past three decades. That is twice the rate at which the cost of health care has soared. But at least until Obama tossed the monkey wrench known as the Affordable Care Act into the works, health care just kept getting better. Is there anyone who would suggest that’s been true about education, which has come to be better known as indoctrination?

That is why I keep suggesting that universities be turned into parks, and that higher education be turned over to trade schools, where not only carpentry, plumbing and auto mechanics are taught, but medicine, law and architecture.

The lie that’s usually brought forth by the status quo crowd is that students need all those pricey undergrad classes in order to be well-rounded. But the fact is that it’s only the bank accounts of professors, administrators and football coaches, that have become fatter and the endowments that are bloated to the breaking point.

Republicans have become somewhat accustomed to being called racists whenever they object to affirmative action, increased welfare or to any of Obama’s unconstitutional edicts. At the same time, they are labeled racists if they merely call for photo I.D.s at polling places.

The obvious fact is that it’s liberals who are the true bigots. They’re the ones who keep insisting that even 50 years after the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment that blacks can’t be expected to compete in schools or in the workplace. It is also liberals who lump the members of all minorities together, whereas conservatives have no trouble at all making the distinction between the bottom feeders who keep electing the likes of Barack Obama, Maxine Waters, Charles Rangel and Sheila Jackson Lee and people like Dr. Ben Carson, Thomas Sowell, Condoleezza Rice and Clarence Thomas.

For most Americans, the tragedy of slavery is two-fold. One, the enslavement of blacks left an indelible stain on the nation. Two, the endless guilt has left tens of millions of black Americans with a sense of victimhood and entitlement that has resulted in the economic enslavement of hundreds of millions of white people.

As I see it, the only good that can possibly come from the swapping of five Islamic terrorists for one Army deserter is that even some Democrats are getting fed up with Obama’s arrogance and lack of patriotism and commonsense. It can only make it easier for Republicans in 2014 to take back the Senate and send Harry (“I’m glad we got rid of those terrorists”) Reid out to pasture.

The reason that’s so important is that it may be the only way to prevent Barack Obama from replacing one of the elderly justices on the Supreme Court with another Sonia Sotomayor or Elena Kagan, thus reversing the 5-4 majority that conservatives currently have.

Too many Republicans seem to lose sight of the fact that the Supreme Court is the legacy that presidents leave behind so that they can continue screwing the country decades after they’ve left the White House. That is why I find it so vexing when Republicans stay home during presidential elections for no better reason than that their personal favorite didn’t garner the nomination. I mean, how stupid and irresponsible did someone have to be in 2012 to allow Obama to win a second term simply because Rick Santorum, Rand Paul or Newt Gingrich, wasn’t on the ticket?

At this time, my biggest problem with the Court is that Americans who merely wish to protect the letter and the spirit of the Constitution lack the standing to bring a case before the Supremes. Unless an individual can prove that he personally – and not just the nation at large – has been harmed by a law or by a president who sees no reason to abide by the specific limitations on his authority, he’s powerless to state his case, even if he or she is a member of Congress.

The midterm elections, though, are only a prelude to the all-important presidential election two years down the road. Possibly I’m being too optimistic, but it seems to me that if the Democrats can’t come up with a better candidate than Hillary (“What difference does it make?”) Clinton to succeed Barack (“America leaves no deserters behind, no matter the price”) Obama, it’s time for the Party to file bankruptcy.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

"Beyond The Pale" and "Terrorists & Heroes"

It's a wonder to me that there are still people who can listen to liberals and believe a word they say. Whether it’s Obama’s promising that we could keep our doctors and our health plans, Harry Reid’s calling cancer victims liars for daring to disclose the hardships wrought by the Affordable Care Act or Elizabeth Warren claiming to be a Cherokee in order to get herself hired at diversity-crazy Harvard, there are millions of chuckleheads who will happily swallow the swill and insist it tastes just like chicken.

Now we have Hillary Clinton pulling out the crying towel, insisting to Diane Sawyer that she and Bill were not only dead broke when they left the White House, but deeply in debt because of legal fees. I have no idea why she wanted to mention the legal fees inasmuch as they’re a reminder that he needed to hire lawyers because he had perjured himself before a grand jury, which also happened to be the reason he was ultimately disbarred.

I still recall the way that George W. Bush was mocked by Democrats when it was falsely reported that he was unfamiliar with the bar codes at a supermarket. But when Hillary, while explaining her alleged financial woes, says, “You know how it is when you have to piece together mortgages for houses,” the same folks not only manage to keep their mockery in check, but offer her their sympathy.

I mean, perhaps Diane Sawyer and hubby Mike Nichols know what it’s like to buy multiple homes, but it’s not a common dilemma for most of us peons. But, then, neither are $10 million book deals or $250,000-a-crack speaking fees.

Speaking of people suffering from the agony associated with having a tin ear, Obama dismisses critics of the Bergdahl swap by patting himself on the back for liberating five terrorist leaders in exchange for one Army deserter. He does that in spite of the fact that 75% of those polled opposed the trade after the fact, and even such political allies as Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D, CA) and Obama’s former Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, opposed the deal prior to the trade!

You keep hearing that Obama is playing to his base whether it’s in reference to postponing construction of the Keystone pipeline, expanding the reach of the EPA or wiping his butt with the Constitution. My question is whether or not the actual base includes anyone besides the less than magnificent seven: Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Dick Durbin, Vladimir Putin, the Ayatollah Khomeini and George Soros.

Regarding the treacherous swap, some people, specifically John Kerry, are choosing to play down the fact that Bowe Bergdahl deserted by pointing out that the Taliban tortured him and that he tried to escape. I believe the simple and obvious explanation is that when he abandoned his platoon because, as he put it in an email to his Allah-blessing father -- otherwise known as Abu ben Bergdahl to some of us -- he hated America and especially the U.S. military, and that therefore young Bergdahl assumed the Taliban would welcome him as the Prodigal Son. When, instead, they treated him the way they generally treat infidels, though short of hacking off his head, it came as a rude wake-up call to the traitorous punk.

Some people used to refer to Barack Obama as the Manchurian Candidate. They were referencing Raymond Shaw, a character created by novelist Richard Condon. In a nefarious plot, Shaw was passed off as a war hero, but was in reality a dupe who had been psychologically programmed to kill in order that foreign and domestic villains might achieve a political end. I think that Bowe Bergdahl, after spending much of his five years in captivity cavorting with the enemy, playing soccer and engaging in target practice, might better fit that description, unless the Army wisely decides to provide him with a one-way ticket to Leavenworth. Short of that, I think we can expect that one day Mr. Bergdahl will be running for the Senate in Idaho.

Not only does Obama trade away five Muslim terrorists in exchange for one deserter, but at the same time he lets a Marine stew in a Mexican jail and rolls out the red carpet for thousands of Honduran and Guatemalan children, who first had to pass through Mexico to reach and then cross our border. I’m just asking, but isn’t it high time we declared Mexico a rogue state and cut off tourism and diplomatic relations, as we did with Cuba?

Finally, Miss Nevada, Nia Sanchez, got into trouble with feminists when she took the occasion of the Miss Universe pageant to say that women need to learn how to defend themselves from sexual assault. It seems the women of NOW were upset because they wanted her to set men straight by telling them that rape is wrong.

On behalf of the male gender, I’d like the ladies to understand we already know it’s wrong. We also know without being told by the likes of Gloria Steinem that killing, stealing and cheating at cards, is also wrong.

Nevertheless, a woman like Ms. Sanchez, who is a fourth degree black belt, has the right idea. When confronted by a rapist, a karate jab to the Adam’s apple or a kick to the groin is a far greater deterrent than a sermon.

Might I suggest to the feminists that their time would be better spent if they stopped picking on people like the admirable Nia Sanchez, who is not only smarter than they are, but looks a heck of a lot better in a bathing suit.

Instead, they should be advising Muslim women to start packing revolvers under those stupid burkas so that they could defend themselves from perverted fathers and brothers whose Koran assures them that Allah smiles on those who prove themselves honorable by stoning to death any wife or daughter who raises the slightest objection to residing in eighth century pig sties.


Somebody will one day have to explain to me why we or the Israelis ever imprison terrorists. If we’re not going to execute them, why capture them at all? Why bother feeding and clothing them until the day comes that the bad guys capture one of ours in order to trade him in for five, 500 or a thousand of theirs? In the case of Israel, they’ve even been known to swap hundreds of jihadists in exchange for a single corpse.

I understand that by simply executing the bad guys, some would argue that we would be fueling their recruitment programs. But we hear that about everything from keeping Gitmo open to airing “Dancing with the Stars.” If we merely order a BLT, we’re told that ten thousand more pinheads have signed up to murder us for disrespecting their dietary laws. For a change, let’s just see if we can kill them faster than they can recruit replacements. I mean, we all know that the human race will never be able to exterminate every last rodent and cockroach, but that’s no reason to stop trying.

While addressing a group of homosexuals, Eric Holder recently attacked the Boy Scouts because they refuse to have openly gay Scout leaders. My question is why is the Attorney General pandering to homosexuals? With all the scandals brewing in Washington, why is he even giving speeches? If he has so much time on his hands, wouldn’t it be better spent trying to hunt up those two years of email messages between Lois Lerner and the White House that the IRS insists have gone missing?

Besides, last year the Scouts were sued and lost a $16 million lawsuit because a Scout master molested one of his charges on a camping trip. I know that gays hate to be lumped with pedophiles, but the sad truth is that while all gays don’t go around molesting young boys, those perverts who do just happen to be homosexual. So unless America’s homosexuals or its attorney general stand ready to indemnify the Boy Scouts against such lawsuits, it’s time they just shut up. If they want to start the Gay Scouts of America, nobody’s stopping them.

Americans often tend to be very naïve. It’s not the worst thing to be, but it can denote a severe degree of stupidity. For instance, whenever some nut pops his cork and shoots up a movie theater or a classroom, his friends, neighbors and relatives, can nearly always be counted on to remark, “Gee, he seemed so quiet and polite,” as if a sure sign of insanity is being noisy and obnoxious.

Naiveté can also be fatal at a time of war. And unless you’ve been living in a cave since before 1978 when the Islamic creeps in Iran took Americans hostage; before our embassies and Marine barracks were attacked; before an airliner was blown up over Scotland; before the Twin Towers were brought down; before Major Hasan killed or maimed over 40 people at Fort Hood; and before the Tsarnaev brothers massacred Boston marathoners; a war has definitely been underway. And saying that you know some perfectly nice Islamic shopkeepers and taxi drivers changes nothing. I’m sure there were some perfectly nice Germans who didn’t care for Hitler, but they still went along for the ride.

When you realize how few Muslims even here in America are willing to speak out against the scum who holler “Allah Akbar” while burning churches, stoning women to death for being Christians or hacking off the heads of so-called infidels, you’ll pardon me if I don’t regard all those soft-spoken shopkeepers and taxi drivers as salt of the earth. For my part, I don’t trust them any further than I can toss the 9/11 Memorial.

Fortunately, there are still heroes among us. A few of them were the former members of Bowe Bergdahl’s Army platoon. In spite of being called liars and even psychopaths by those Obama acolytes who are trying to put lipstick on the swap of five jihadists for one deserter and calling it a sweetheart of a deal, the ex-GIs have stuck to their guns in demanding that Bergdahl be court martialed.

A less likely hero is Donald Sterling. Instead of rolling over and taking whatever the politically correct hypocrites felt like dishing out, rumor has it that he’s hired private investigators to dig up dirt on ex-NBA Commissioner David Stern, current Commissioner Adam Silver and the 29 other team owners.

I, for one, am delighted that Sterling wasn’t wasting his time at all those basketball games, and finally came to realize that the best defense is a good offense.

And if I know anything about professional sports, those investigators are likely to dig up enough dirt on those 31shmucks to fill in the Grand Canyon.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, June 23, 2014

"Billy Wilder, The Pope & Me" and "Allah Be Damned"

My two favorite movie writer-directors were Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder. Both worked at Paramount Studios in the 40s, which was fortuitous for Wilder. That’s because they were both successful screenwriters when Sturges persuaded the studio to let him direct his own scripts. That decision led to a flurry of such classic, huge-grossing, comedies as “The Great McGinty,” “The Lady Eve,” “The Palm Beach Story” and “Hail the Conquering Hero.”

It also led Wilder to plead his own case. “The bosses at Paramount,” he once told me, “gave me permission, assuming I would do something artsy-fartsy, which would flop, and that I’d then go back to being a nice little screenwriter. Instead, I made the comedy, “The Major and the Minor,” which was a big success.”

Paramount couldn’t have been too sad, as it led in fairly short order to Wilder’s turning out “Double Indemnity,” “The Lost Weekend,” “A Foreign Affair” and “Sunset Boulevard.”

Just as a sidebar, I thought it was interesting that once when we were having lunch, I mentioned to him that he had directed seven of his fellow directors, although three of them were actors who had only directed one or two movies. He was stumped. The only ones he came up with were Cecil B. DeMille and Eric Von Stroheim, both of whom appeared in “Sunset Blvd.,” and Otto Preminger, who portrayed the German commandant in “Stalag 17.” The others were Mitchell Leisen, Jack Lemmon, Charles Laughton and Ray Milland.

Although I have already devoted several articles to Pope Francis, attacking him for his statements in favor of redistribution of wealth and for siding with the Palestinians during his recent visit to the Holy Land, I hope nobody takes me for an anti-Catholic bigot. The way I see it is the way my friend Tony Medley, a Catholic, saw it when the Church was embroiled in the sickening pedophile scandals of the 1990s. At the time, he pointed out that his religion was far greater than the sum of its human parts.

As a non-Catholic, I believe that is still true, even though the current object of my displeasure is the Pope, and not just a handful of perverted bishops and priests. Still, I would be remiss if I didn’t share an email I received from a friend in Israel, Haim Goldman.

He wrote: “Something that neither you nor Caroline Glick mentioned was something that Francis never addressed during his visit, although as the leader of a billion Catholics it should have been at the top of his list. I refer to the fact that the Christian communities in Syria have almost been obliterated in the ongoing war; the vast majority of the 1.5 million Christians in Iraq were killed or expelled over the past decade; the once-thriving Christian community of Lebanon has been greatly diminished because of persecution; the Coptic Christians of Egypt are often butchered by followers of the Islamic Brotherhood; and the Christian communities in the so-called Palestinian Authority are constantly persecuted.

“Furthermore, the leader of the Fatah terrorist group greeted the Pope in his palace, which just happens to have been a Greek Orthodox monastery until the Muslims confiscated it.

“There is only one country in the Middle East in which the Christian community has increased in number and flourished over the past decade: Israel.

“And yet the Pope chose not to say anything on behalf of those persecuted Christians and did not praise the Jewish state of Israel for its treatment of both Christians and Arabs.”

For that matter, he hasn’t spoken up on behalf of the Christian woman, Meriam Yehya, imprisoned in Sudan, who faces a hundred lashes and execution by hanging because she refuses to renounce her religion. Although I’m sure His Holiness will be only too happy to stand on his balcony, basking in the adoration of the crowd below, and pronounce her Saint Meriam at some point in the future.

Still, the contempt I feel for Pope Francis is nothing compared to the contempt I feel for President Obama. Even when he was addressing the throng gathered at Normandy to pay their respects to those who gave their lives 70 years ago in order that others could live in freedom, bile rose in my throat.

However you may have felt about President Bush’s policies, you could never doubt that he respected those men and women he sent off to war. Does anybody believe that Obama regards those in uniform as anything but suckers?

When he defended his decision to swap five Islamic terrorists for one Army deserter, even those who might have approved of the deal knew that his actual motivation was to empty Gitmo. The truth is that every time Obama gives one of his self-serving speeches, my reaction is to channel my inner teenager and mumble, “Whatever.”

If you didn’t already know the depths to which this administration is willing to stoop, you might have been shocked at the way the White House has slandered the soldiers who served with Bergdahl. But, then, when you consider the nonchalance with which they sacrificed the four Americans in Benghazi, it’s not too surprising that when Obama paid tribute to Bergdahl’s military service, he not only ignored the lives that were lost while searching for the deserter, but the lives that, in retrospect, were wasted in capturing the five jihadists.

The fanciful notion that Obama could stand before the American people and expect anyone to take him seriously when he said that this nation never leaves a soldier behind was belied by the fact that at that very moment a Marine, whose only crime had been driving in the wrong lane, was being brutalized in a Mexican jail.

And the proof that Obama was unconcerned about the injustice was that he didn’t even bother to send Susan Rice out on the Sunday news shows to lie about the reasons behind his reluctance to confront Mexico.

It’s my own guess that he tried but failed to persuade President Enrique Nieto to accept 100 jihadists in exchange for Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi.

On the plus side, I’m sure he had no trouble at all getting Nieto to agree to keep sending us millions of future Democrats.


I admit I don't see a sliver of difference between so-called good Muslims and the kind the rest of the world has become all too familiar with, and, what’s more, I don’t believe anyone who says otherwise is being honest.

If there were so many good, decent followers of Allah, doesn’t it figure that the law of averages would ensure there would be at least a few civilized Islamic nations? Instead, they’re all simply different degrees of rotten.

As I sit here, Obama is mulling over the offer from Iran’s mullahs to give us a hand in Iraq. I know our glorious leader isn’t much of an historical scholar, but even he should recall that the last time we allied ourselves with a tyrannical regime, it was with the Soviet Union during World War II.

Although American Communists were delighted to see Joseph Stalin and FDR embracing one another, the fact is that the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany had signed a mutual non-aggression pact, and if Hitler hadn’t double-crossed Stalin by invading his home turf, the Soviet Union probably would have sat it out. Instead, Stalin’s hand was forced, and his bribe was all of Eastern Europe.

The point is, whether the devil looks like Stalin or the Ayatollah Khomeini, once you shake his hand, you not only lose your soul, but don’t count on getting all of your fingers back.

Speaking of duplicity, at the same time that the head of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, was vowing to help Israel find the three abducted teenagers, the official Facebook page of his Fatah party ran a cartoon of three rats adorned with Stars of David dangling from a fishing rod.

It serves as a reminder of the days when Yasser Arafat had the job, and would make conciliatory speeches in English while simultaneously calling for the extinction of Israel in Arabic. Pretty clumsy, you would think, but good enough for the likes of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, who were only too happy to bully Israel into negotiating with the villains. Too often, our presidents have behaved like the sort of father who’d force his daughter to marry the guy who raped her.

Speaking of villains, Barack Obama demands that Iraq’s President Malaki, a Shiite Muslim, invite the Sunnis to have a future say in running Iraq. The gall of the man! This is the same partisan clodhopper who, in 2009, ordered John McCain and his fellow Republicans to sit down, shut up and get out of his way.

I recently learned that NBC pays Chelsea Clinton $600,000-a-year as a part-time reporter. In the words of an NBC executive, “It’s as if she’s been preparing her whole life for this job.” I suppose in a way she has, in the same way that one might have said that Nelson Rockefeller prepared his whole life to be rich.

Interestingly enough, while colleges and universities continue to disinvite conservatives from delivering commencement addresses and receiving honors, Rev. Jeremiah Wright -- who famously God-damned America, and who, in 2009, said he hadn’t had any recent contact with President Obama, explaining, “Them Jews,” no doubt referring to David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel, “aren’t going to let him talk to me” -- hasn’t suffered the same sort of indignities. In fact, he has received a Rockefeller Fellowship and seven honorary doctorates from the likes of Colgate University, Pennsylvania’s Lincoln University and the Chicago Theological Seminary.

That brings up an interesting question: Why is it racist to attend a lecture by former KKK leader David Duke, but not racist to select Eric Holder, a man who refuses to indict blacks for hate crimes, to be your Attorney General?

Also, why are we supposed to believe that two years of Lois Lerner’s emails are forever lost because her computer allegedly crashed when even a technological troglodyte like me knows that it was easier to dispose of Jimmy Hoffa’s carcass than it is to eliminate email?

Furthermore, why aren’t Republicans in Congress grilling FBI Director James Corney and former Director Robert Mueller now that it’s been discovered that the IRS, in addition to denying Tea Party groups non-profit status in order to facilitate Obama’s re-election, was having the FBI investigate Tea Party members as if they were foreign spies?

Finally, I have to say that I think the Democrats look more foolish than usual when they try to distract voters from such serious concerns as Obama’s foreign policy, his contempt for the military and a stagnant economy, by carrying on about sports teams calling themselves the Braves, the Indians and the Redskins. Still, I’m not totally oblivious to the downside potential of such seemingly trivial matters.

So while I see no advantage to the Washington football team, in terms of revenue or fan support, to be named anything other than the Redskins, it makes perfect sense to me that the hometown baseball team that used to be known as the Senators, wised up and now calls itself the Washington Nationals.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, June 20, 2014


Because of my rheumatoid arthritis, I have been seeing a certain doctor for several years. Even with ObamaCare, I can continue seeing him. What has changed is the nature of the paperwork involved. Today’s visit, which would normally entail a 10-minute discussion with Dr. Ratiner, followed by a 5-minute drawing of blood, took me over an hour. That was due to all the additional forms the government is now insisting be filled out.

It’s my guess that even though Obama’s policies have crippled just about every other area of the economy, the paper industry must be blowing him kisses. I say that because in the past I used a credit card to pay for the office visit, and received the yellow copy as a receipt, whereas today they had to run off an entire page for me. And when the receptionist gave me my notice for the next visit, instead of the usual little piece of cardboard with the time and date scrawled on it, they wasted a second sheet of computer paper to let me know I was expected back on 07/31/14 at 11:30.

You would think that California’s millionaires -- a group of busybodies who are so devoted to the environment that, like some weird sort of Corsican brother, they feel every discomfort and indignity experienced by birds, fish and bugs -- would be up in arms over this unnecessary assault on the timberlands.

That reminds me how much juggling Barack Obama has to do in order to keep both the environmentalists and the unions safely in his pocket. He’s like some poor sap trying to keep both a wife and a mistress, without having one find out about the other, lest he wind up being used for target practice.

The clearest example of his problem is the Keystone pipeline. Groups such as the Sierra Club oppose its construction, not so much because they actually believe it would impair the environment, but as a symbol of their political clout. The unions, on the other hand, not only want to see it built because of all the jobs that would be involved, but want to see the EPA reined in because every time the agency enforces a new set of regulations, they kill off another few thousand jobs.

In fact, when I heard the statistic that people are far likelier to be hit by lightning than to be shot on school grounds, the first thought that occurred to me was that the EPA was now going to get to work outlawing lightning.

Although I would like to see the VA defunded and veterans’ health care put on the voucher system, a reader, Bob Gutsche, reminded me that the first administrator of the department, General Omar Bradley, once said, “We are dealing with veterans, not procedures; with their problems, not ours.” Unfortunately, the later administrators reversed those thoughts, ensuring that today’s bureaucratic scandal would be an inevitable consequence.

With November elections just around the corner, I would suggest that they be handled by Price-Waterhouse, the accounting firm that oversees voting for the Academy Awards. They manage to run things every year without anything being leaked prematurely and without any of the distraught losers having the slightest justification to cry “Foul!”

Another suggestion has to do with the teaching of math in our public schools. By any measure, we are falling behind all the other industrial nations when it comes to this all-important subject. Unless things have changed drastically since I was studying arithmetic, the problems always involved either trains traveling in opposite directions or farm production. Is it any wonder that even some of my brighter friends would have their eyeballs roll up into their head when having to deal with pecks of potatoes or trains headed from Chicago to Denver?

Even then, I wondered why they didn’t tailor the subject to the interests of boys. Every sport, and baseball in particular, is filled with statistics. By the time I was 10 years old, I was able to figure out batting averages, ERA and winning percentages, on my own. The secret was that they actually interested me.

Finally, Susan Rice, Jay Carney and other unsavory mouthpieces for this administration, all praised Bowe Bergdahl for having served honorably, if not heroically, for simply donning the uniform of his nation.

Then, to cover up the fact that Bergdahl was a deserter, and very possibly a traitor, they put a gag order on Bergdahl’s former platoon members, just as they did with the survivors of the Benghazi massacre. For an administration that sold itself as the most transparent in history, the only thing transparent about this gang of scoundrels happens to be their self-serving motives.

Then, when the truth about Bergdahl’s service record began to ooze out, Obama’s thugs accused the soldiers who had actually served honorably of trying to swiftboat their former comrade in arms. The term “swiftboating” was meant to impugn their testimony. But the fact is the term came into existence during the 2004 election when it was those who had served on the same boat in Vietnam with John Kerry, and knew the lying goldbrick for what he was, who, fortunately for America, cost him the election.

As for those who insist on Bergdahl’s behalf that the mere wearing of the uniform is reason enough to proclaim him a patriot, they would do well to recall that Benedict Arnold did as much, and not even Barack Obama has seen fit to praise his military service.

Not yet at any rate.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Can America Be Saved?

Although I am by nature an optimist, I must admit that even I have begun to suspect that our nation’s best years, like my own, are behind us.

As some of you will recall, just prior to the 2012 presidential election, I wrote that I was confident America could survive another four years of Obama, but I wasn’t at all certain it could survive an electorate that would provide him with four more years. I still feel that way, and the thought that Hillary (“What difference does it make?”) Clinton could be next in line, chills my bones and curdles my blood.

Speaking of Mrs. Clinton reminds me that young single women constitute her largest fan base. In a way, I suppose that makes sense. After all, they put great store in cracking through glass ceilings, and their favorite icon has made a practice, verging on an art form, of pretending she’s spent her life doing that very thing. In point of fact, she hasn’t cracked a single one. She wasn’t the first female lawyer, the first female senator or even the first female secretary of state. And she certainly isn’t the first woman who ever owed her entire political career to having been the wife or daughter of a successful male politician.

In a way, her utter dependence on Bill Clinton might seem as if it would be problematic for those impressionable young women. But not once you realize that while they always pretend to be strong and independent, they invariably give the game away by voting for any sugar daddy Democrat who promises to take care of them, going so far as to promise to provide the young ladies, paradoxically, with both birth control pills and abortions on demand.

Although the liberal press did cartwheels over the Pope’s recent visit to the Holy Land, where he went out of his way to display an unseemly bias in favor of those who vow to exterminate Israelis, a more honest view of the event was provided by the cartoonist for Canada’s Calgary Herald: The cartoon showed Pope Francis indicating Israel’s security fence and asking Bibi Netanyahu: “Why this wall in Israel?” To which, the Prime Minister responds: “Why this bulletproof glass in the Popemobile?”

Anybody who thinks that Shinseki’s resignation will lead to a bright new day for the VA has taken leave of his senses. The annual budget for the department is $150 billion. If they were serious about improving things for veterans, they would shut down the VA and use that money in the form of vouchers, enabling the vets to seek health care on their own. The problem is that the Democrats are worried that such a radical notion might catch on with the general public, and that would spell the end of ObamaCare.

I pitied the West Point cadets having to shake Obama’s hand before being allowed to collect their diplomas. They had to settle for showing their contempt by maintaining silence during his commencement address, even though he paused at all the usual places where blacks, single women and college students, can invariably be trusted, like Pavlov’s dogs, to respond to the obvious cues with thundering ovations.

Proving that even a has-been has a responsibility to maintain her status as a Hollywood pinhead, Gwyneth Paltrow announced that being attacked on the Internet is just as hard on a person as serving in a war zone. She is also the Oscar-winning moron who said how much more difficult it is to be an actress and a mom than to be a mother working in an office. When you read comments like these, you should always be mindful of the fact that celebrities pay P.R. flacks a lot of dough to make them appear to be human beings, and not the alien life forms they actually happen to be. And yet, time and again, just like the federal government, all they really prove is that money is not the solution.

In the wake of the carnage by Elliot Rodger in Isla Vista, it was as predictable as a sunrise that the anti-gun nuts would come creeping out of the woodwork to condemn gun ownership in spite of the fact that three of the six murders were committed with a knife. When you consider how reluctant liberals are to think rationally, it makes me wonder if they fear it will give their brains wrinkles.

For instance, someone recently sent me what he called a tale of two cities, in which he compared Chicago to Houston. The things they had more or less in common was population (Chicago’s 2.7 million to Houston’s 2.15 million); median household income ($38,600-$37,000); percentage of blacks (38.9% to 24%); percentage of Hispanics (29.9% to 44%); percentage of Asians (5.5% to 6%); percentage of non-Hispanic whites (28.7% to 26%).

The differences were that Chicago doesn’t have a concealed carry gun law, Houston does. Chicago doesn’t have any gun stores, Houston has 184. In spite of which, Chicago had 1,806 homicides in 2012, Houston had 207.

Another difference is that the average January high temperature in Chicago is 31 degrees, 63 in Houston.

From all of that, you would think the typical liberal would naturally conclude that, whatever else it does, global warming reduces the murder rate.

Finally, speaking of a typical liberal, Barack Obama has been called by some the Antichrist. Maybe, maybe not. But it is certainly fair to call him the Antimoses. Moses, you may recall, spent years leading his people through the desert to the Promised Land. Obama, on the other hand, has spent years leading his people from the Promised Land to the desert.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, June 16, 2014

Redskins & Thin Skins

The U.S. Senate, under the guidance – or, if you prefer, the thumb -- of Harry Reid isn’t interested in getting to the bottom of scandals involving the IRS Benghazi or the Veterans Administration. But half the Senate—50 members, count ‘em, 50 – decided that the worst problem facing us was that their hometown football team continues to call itself the Washington Redskins.

Even though a poll has shown that 80% of actual Native Americans have no problem with the name, Harry Reid and his coven of chowderheads have decided that something must be done. The very idea that Reid, who refers to Republicans as un-American-- and that’s on one of his more civil days -- and calls cancer victims liars if they complain about ObamaCare, should set himself up as a moral arbiter and as the last word on decorum is ludicrous at best, stomach-turning at worst.

And the Senate Democrats go along with it, ignoring the fact that if you take the ravings of a nutburger to heart, it’s a lot like giving money to an addict. It’s the one fool-proof way to ensure he’ll never get well.

On the same day that the Senate Democrats proved how compassionate they are, they refused to pass a House bill that would have given Secretary Eric Shenseki the authority to fire members of the VA for malfeasance. The actual reason why was that the Democrats are beholden to the public sector unions for campaign contributions, and would screw military veterans every day of the week and twice on Sunday rather than risk pissing off federal bureaucrats.

But as bad as that was, the reason that Bernie Sanders, who now calls himself an Independent even though he caucuses with the Democrats and proudly admits to being a socialist, gave for postponing the vote was that he needed more time to read the bill. Isn’t it odd that no Democrat asked for time to read the Affordable Care Act, and that ran longer than “Gone With the Wind” and “War and Peace” put together? But, then again, Nancy Pelosi famously pointed out that there’d be plenty of time to read it once it was passed.

Just for the record, the House bill that Sen. Sanders couldn’t digest in one afternoon ran about 500 words, or about half as long as this article.

Speaking of numbers, while nine million American vets have to make do with 267,000 VA employees – not nearly all of whom are medical professionals – 150 Muslim terrorists at Gitmo have 100 doctors and nurses at their beck and call. It begs the question: What sort of people are we that we treat the creeps trying to kill us better than we treat the men and women who risked their lives and lost their limbs trying to defend us?

Recently, I confessed to being sick and tired of having “gate” added to every Washington scandal for no other reason than that Nixon met his Waterloo over the Watergate break-in. But even worse is having “phobic” added as suffixes by those who are perpetually offended.

A phobia, after all, is defined as an unnatural fear. I don’t happen to believe that people who object to either sodomy or to same-sex marriages are suffering from a mental disorder. You may feel one way or another about them, but to suggest that they suffer from an unnatural fear of homosexuals is delusional.

That brings us to those accused of being “Islamaphobes.” Considering that all over the world, the followers of Mohammad are slaughtering innocent people, stoning to death anyone who converts from Islam to Christianity and attempting through Sharia Law to institutionalize the subjugation of women in Europe and even here in America, suggests to any sane human being that there is nothing unwarranted about fearing, as well as despising, these barbarians. The crazy people are those, like George Bush and Barack Obama, who insist Islam is a religion of peace when it is clearly a blood-thirsty cult.

With the midterm elections just around the corner, it’s just about time we began hearing that the GOP needs to have a bigger tent, and not just to accommodate Governor Christie. It was sheer humbug the first time we heard it, and it hasn’t improved with age.

Any political party that can include Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, John McCain, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Scott Brown, Trey Gowdy, John Boehner and the aforementioned Chris Christie, is plenty large enough. Some might even say a tad too large.

We’re told incessantly that we have to reach out to black voters, Hispanic voters and young single women, but when the members of these groups continue voting for the scurrilous likes of Barack Obama, Sheila Jackson Lee, Elijah Cummings, Joe Garcia, Linda Chavez, and can’t wait to vote for Hillary Clinton, it is a colossal waste of time and resources trying to out-promise and out-bribe the liberals. That’s time and money that can be better spent prodding every registered Republican to vote on Election Day even if (boo-hoo, sniffle, sniffle) their primary favorites fall by the wayside.

John Kerry, who’s generally good for a laugh, out-did himself recently while in Mexico. He told a group of environmental simpletons that, thanks to global warming, temperatures in Europe and Vietnam a day earlier had “been unprecedented, breaking every record that’s ever been seen.” He went on to mention life-threatening temperatures of 30, 32, 33 and even an unimaginable 34 degrees Celsius. What he apparently didn’t know was that those numbers when translated into Fahrenheit are a warm, but not exactly lethal, low to mid 90s.

In the future, Secretary Kerry would be well-advised to channel either his inner Al Gore or his inner Chicken Little, but never both at the same time.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, June 13, 2014

"I Used To Be A Democrat" and "Do Liberals Ever Listen To Themselves?"

It's true that for a long time, an inexcusably long time, I was a registered Democrat. But even then, I never called myself a liberal. Because I came of age in the 1960s, I associated liberals with the punks I knew who called cops “pigs,” called soldiers “baby killers” and used any and all means to dodge the draft, and then had the hypocrisy to announce they did so because they were avowed pacifists.

Being in my 20s myself, I knew these people and I knew it was fear of battle or being bossed around by top sergeants, typically tough guys from the South, that motivated them to head off either to Canada or to one of the many left-wing shrinks who were willing to lie about their mental disorders and or verify they were homosexuals.

Fifty years later, they’re still hypocrites, but instead of being college students, they’re running colleges, TV networks, movie studios, solar panel companies and the New York Times. And, what’s more, they continue to lie. Most recently, a sample of journalists lied to a pollster about their political affiliation, a mere 28% admitting to being Democrats and 50% claiming to be registered Independents.

Inasmuch as we already know that at least 90% of those in the news game always vote for liberals and that their campaign contributions are even more lopsided than that, you have to wonder why they even bother lying about something as transparent as their political bias. All you really have to do is turn on the network news or pick up a daily newspaper, Time magazine, the New Yorker, Vanity Fair or any of the slick glossies devoted to fashion and cosmetics, to realize that they should, by all rights, be paid directly by the DNC for their propaganda efforts.

Ever since I heard the head of the NBA drop the hammer on Clippers owner Donald Sterling, I found myself wondering where Commissioner Adam Silver, who is nearly as spooky-looking as James Carville, got off thinking he had the authority to take the team away from its rightful owner. I mean, who the heck does he think he is? Harry Reid?

Even I know that California is a community property state, and I certainly knew that Sterling had a wife named Shelly because I kept hearing that she was suing her husband’s ex-paramour for the return of the two million dollars the old fool had lavished on her in the form of cash, cars, condo and, unfortunately for the big mouth, a cellphone.

If I know anything about Jewish wives and, regrettably, I do, Commissioner Silver would have an easier time trying to pry my dog’s chew toy away from her than taking the Clippers away from Mrs. Sterling.

It doesn’t happen too often, but every once in a while someone forwards something to me from the Internet that I haven’t seen before and that actually grabs my attention. In this case, it was a series of ways that one could easily identify a liberal. I mean aside from asking them if they happen to be journalists, judges, social workers, teachers, professors, illegal aliens, actors, musicians or convicted felons.

Here it is, with a few of my own modifications: (1) A liberal is someone who thinks Republicans are waging a war on women, but that the Muslim world isn’t. (2) A liberal is someone who says to a pregnant woman: “Don’t smoke, it’ll hurt your baby,” but tells her it’s quite okay to abort that same baby. (3) A liberal is someone who thinks Fox News lies, but Obama doesn’t. (4) A liberal is someone who lives in a gated community or behind a high wall, but says that a border fence won’t work. (5) A liberal is someone who wails about “corporate welfare,” but thinks it’s great that Obama bailed out General Motors to save union contracts and blew a billion tax dollars on certain-to-fail green energy companies in exchange for campaign contributions. (6) A liberal is someone who protested the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and proclaimed the Patriot Act fascistic, until Barack Obama took office.

Finally, Pope Francis is at it again. He has now called upon the governments of the world to redistribute their wealth to the poor in order to put an end to what he calls the “economy of exclusion,” by which I assume he’s referring to capitalism. What he doesn’t bother explaining is that it is capitalism that allows the poor in America and the industrial West to live in, relatively speaking, the lap of luxury when compared to those who live in places where capitalism is just a rumor.

As my friend Jim Bass says, “Let him put his money where his mouth is, and start auctioning off the Vatican’s treasures.”

For my part, the more socialistic blather I hear bubbling out of his mouth, the more convinced I am that he should be identified as Pope Francis (D-VC).


Seriously, is it possible that liberals actually believe the nonsense they go around spouting? I mean, I understand that as majority leader of the Senate, Harry Reid has to appear to be in sync with Barack Obama, but when in the wake of swapping five anti-American jihadists with unpronounceable names for one calling himself Bowe Bergdahl, Reid said, “I’m glad to get rid of them,” did he not understand that most of us completed the thought with “and put them right back on the battlefield where they can resume killing our soldiers”?

For his part, Obama, after comparing himself to such wartime presidents as Washington, Lincoln and FDR, said that an exchange of POWs is typical policy at the end of a war. That must have come as surprising news to the thousands of troops still risking life and limb in Afghanistan. As for the Taliban, they’re still giggling over Obama’s announcement in 2012 that Al Qaeda was decimated.

The real tragedy of the swap is that we couldn’t sweeten the deal by tossing in Obama.

How sappy are liberals? Well, Nobel Prize-winning economist/NY Times propagandist Paul Krugman said, “The VA is proof that socialized medicine works.” Anybody care to bet that Krugman doesn’t go to the VA for his medical needs?

Most of us have gotten sick and tired of hearing Obama state that he didn’t know about a scandal brewing until he read about it in a newspaper, even when, as with the VA, he was yakking about that very problem six years ago. But even if that were the case, it would put him a leg up on most voters who, unless they watch Fox, read certain blogs or tune in talk radio, have to rely on smoke signals for their news. That should help explain why Democrats continue to win elections.

As for Sgt. Bergdahl, we are told by his parents and some of the schlemiels in his hometown that he spoke like a social worker and acted like a saint, but how many social workers try to join the French Foreign Legion? And how many saints not only desert their comrades on the battlefield, but leave hoping to sign up with the Taliban? It’s rather reminiscent of Edward Snowden, who betrayed America because of his alleged love of freedom and open societies, and then scooted off to China before receiving sanctuary in Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

Next, why is it that when liberals argue for an ounce of prevention as opposed to a pound of cure, it’s only when they’re bemoaning the evils of alcohol, drugs and tobacco, but never when the subject happens to be abortions?

When Paul Ryan mentioned, with some good-natured annoyance, that he keeps getting confused with ex-congressman Anthony (“I’ll show you mine if you let me show you mine”) Weiner, Weiner, otherwise known as Carlos Danger to all the women he cyber-stalked, had the gall to say, “That’s the final insult. How much more can I bear?” One can only assume he meant “bear” and not “bare.” But see what I mean about liberals not listening to themselves?

The people they should be listening to are folks like Thomas Sowell, who has raised the question: “What is your fair share of what someone else has worked for?” He’s also the fellow who said, “I have never understood how it is greedy to want to keep the money you have earned, but not greedy to want to take somebody else’s.”
Another thought liberals should heed goes this way: If you’ve got minimum skills, minimum education, show minimum motivation and provide a minimum contribution to the workplace, why the hell should someone be forced to pay you more than you’re obviously worth?

When it comes to the stagnant economy, a problem that Obama only pays lip service to when he’s trying to distract people from one of his endless scandals and his numerous end-runs around the Constitution, Katie Pavlich, writing in Townhall magazine, points out that 47.6 million Americans are now receiving food stamps from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program via their SNAP cards.

Because numbers alone generally make people’s eyes glaze over, she reminds us that during the Depression, thousands of desperately hungry people lined up to receive free food at soup kitchens. Even if we weren’t around at the time, we’ve all seen those grainy, heart-wrenching, black and white photos of hopeless men in overcoats, wearing hats and caps, lined up to get their slabs of bread and bowls of gruel.

Thanks to modern technology, we are spared those scenes today. But, as Ms. Pavlich, points out, if we assume that an average of 916 people can stand in a double-stacked line a quarter of a mile long, the current recipients would be standing in one that was 12,827 miles long. Only a saint wouldn’t try to take cuts before the gruel congealed.

The EPA seems to have accepted the challenge by the IRS to prove itself the most contemptible, most power-hungry, agency of the federal government. With their endless regulations, it seems their sole mission is to bring to a grinding halt the age of the American entrepreneur, the American farmer and whatever still remains of American industry.

And at the rate they keep expanding the list of endangered species, soon the only one left unprotected will be the American taxpayer.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, June 11, 2014


Whenever I think about liberals, I feel the wires in my brain begin to sizzle. What in the world makes them say and do such absurd things? For instance, why do journalists insist on lying about their political affiliation? When half of them claim to be Independents and only 20% confess to being registered Democrats, whom do they think they’re fooling? After all, their friends and relatives, as well as their colleagues, know better. But so do the rest of us.

Last year, after spurning several years of invitations to attend a monthly gathering of former L.A. Times employees, I broke down and drove out to Pasadena for one of the geezer luncheons. Because even though I had written a weekly humor column for the paper for 11 years, I had always been a freelancer (no pension, no health insurance) and therefore only knew one person at the get-together. After we ate, the few of us who were first-timers were asked to stand up and describe what we had been doing since leaving the paper.

Because, unlike nearly everyone else in the room, I hadn’t severed the connection because I had reached retirement age, I spoke about the movies and TV shows I had written. If I had stopped there, all would have been well. But, throwing caution to the wind, I mentioned some of the books I had written.

Even though this was supposed to be a collegial affair, the mere fact that some of the titles were “Liberals: America’s Termites,” “Barack Obama, You’re Fired!” and “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die,” was enough to have these seemingly civilized ladies and gentlemen start booing and hissing me.

Now keep in mind, these were people in their 60s, 70s and 80s. For most of their careers, the Times wasn’t, as it has been for the past two decades, a propaganda outlet for the radical left wing of the Democratic Party.

So don’t let anyone tell you that journalists are even slightly objective when it comes to politics. Even after they’ve retired, they remain partisan pinheads.

The results of a Gallup poll should be a matter of some concern to Republicans. It seems that only 42% of us are looking forward to the midterm elections, while 50% are less enthusiastic than usual. While it’s true that the numbers are even less encouraging for Democrats, I simply don’t get it. Why wouldn’t Republicans be chomping at the bit when it comes to having the opportunity to turn Harry Reid, currently the second most powerful politician in America, into just another cantankerous old jerk from an irrelevant state?

On top of that, with two years left in his term, if the Democrats maintain control of the Senate, Barack Obama might very well have the opportunity to replace one of the aging conservative justices on the Supreme Court with another Kagan or Sotomayor clone, providing the liberal clodhoppers with a 5-4 majority that could serve as a toxic reminder of Obama for the next 30 or 40 years.

The president of Nigeria is named Goodluck Jonathan. If we were given to bestowing similar names on our own offspring, we might have someone named Cursed Obama in the White House, although I grant “Barack” is bad enough.

Those who claim that the problem with our foreign policy is that Obama is a peacenik have overlooked the fact that three times as many American soldiers have died in Afghanistan over the past five years under Obama than had died in the previous seven years under Bush. Part of the reason is that Obama provided the enemy with a deadline for our withdrawal. But another, even more despicable, reason is that he changed the rules of engagement. Under Obama, as Katie Pavlich pointed out in Townhall magazine, our soldiers are forbidden to shoot and kill an Afghan seen planting an improvised explosive device, although most American deaths in that Muslim cesspool are the result of IEDs.

Another element of Obama’s plan to win the hearts and minds of the enemy at the price of American lives is forcing unarmed American soldiers to work alongside armed Afghan troops and police officers on our military bases. This bit of lunacy has predictably led to soaring numbers of what are euphemistically referred to as green-on-blue murders.

Those who claim that Obama’s major failing is that he is such a saintly character that he simply can’t bring himself to wage war as aggressively as is required to be victorious overlook the fact that he doesn’t seem to have any problem waging war on the oil and coal industry, the military and America’s middle class. Apparently all that’s required is an enemy he can really hate.

Speaking of murders, Eleanor Clift, ex-sister-in-law of Montgomery Clift and resident knucklehead on “The McLaughlin Report,” recently announced that Ambassador Chris Stevens wasn’t really murdered in Benghazi. Instead, she claimed he died of smoke inhalation, without bothering to mention where all that confounded smoke came from.

In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter,” Hester Prynne was placed in the pillory by her Puritan neighbors and forced to wear an embroidered “A” after committing adultery and bearing an illegitimate baby.

By modern standards, a bit harsh, I’d say. Still I can’t help wishing that Democrats had to wear a scarlet “D” on their chests when they ventured out in public so that the rest of us could take the proper precautions to avoid direct contact. That’s because I have come to believe Democrats are infected with a virus and are extremely contagious. I just wish there was a way to cure Liberalism.
Medical science should definitely get to work on a vaccine.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, June 9, 2014

"A Primer for GOP Candidates" and "Hillary, Barack and Bowe"

I get very discouraged when I come across polls that show Barack Obama’s job approval rate as high as 43.9% and a generic congressional ballot that has Democrats leading Republicans 43% to 42.3%, even though the percentage of those thinking that America is headed in the right direction stands at just 29.8%.

Apparently, about 14% of us are incapable of connecting even two or three dots. So much for public education!

Still, being an eternal optimist, I take some comfort from the fact that Obama is the only two-term president who ever received fewer votes the second time around, and that since 2008, the GOP has won most of the elections, whether it was Senate and House seats, or a governor’s mansion, that was up for grabs.

We Republicans would have done even better if we had kept just a few simple rules in mind. First off, no matter how enticing you, as a candidate, find a TV lens or how much you enjoy having reporters hang on your every word, never answer a question unless you happen to be appearing on Fox. Just about everyone else in the media is your mortal enemy.

Also, never go off script. Even Bob Hope didn’t become Bob Hope by ad-libbing. He had a stable of very expensive writers.

If you can’t avoid answering questions, learn from the opposition. On those very rare occasions when Democrats find themselves being asked a question they don’t wish to deal with, they pretend they were asked an entirely different question and that’s the one they answer.

So, whenever a reporter asks how you feel about some social issue, such as same-sex marriages, abortions or the legalization of marijuana, ask them how they feel about it. If the reporter replies that how he feels is unimportant because he’s not running for the Senate or the House, point out that you are, and the reason that you are is because you want to do something about ObamaCare, the EPA, taxes and unemployment, and finish up by mentioning that you intend to do everything in your power to restore America’s military might. By the time you stop talking, he’ll have probably forgotten his own silly question and so will everyone else.

Obama has been so badly damaged by the scandal at the VA and his pretense of knowing nothing about it until he read about it in some newspaper -- even after we saw footage of his talking about the problems at the VA as far back as 2009 -- that he was forced to don a military jacket and put his golf game on hold while he flew to Afghanistan for a photo op with the troops, laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns and gave a commencement address at West Point.

I know some people are put off by Obama’s obvious contempt for the military, a contempt shared by Secretary of State John Kerry. I, on the other hand, am more deeply offended when the alleged Commander-in-Chief feigns respect for those in uniform. At least the contempt has the saving grace of being sincere.

On the other hand, as much as I admire those who put their lives and limbs on the line in defense of America, the time has come to acknowledge that once they put those uniforms in moth balls and enter political life, as often as not they tend to show themselves to have feet of clay, if not something even grungier. I mean, everyone from John Murtha, Charley Rangel, Colin Powell and David Petraeus to John Kerry and Eric Shinseki, have worn the uniform with greater or lesser distinction, and all have proven themselves as civilians to be the moral equivalent of draft dodgers.

It seems that Mariel Hemingway is outraged because the brilliant muckraker, James O’Keefe, caught her and fellow pinhead Ed Begley, Jr., having lunch with an actor pretending to be an oil sheik looking to finance an anti-fracking feature film.

Even though the faux Arab confessed that he was only interested in the production because fracking would help make America energy-independent and would therefore cut into his oil profits, Hemingway and Begley seemed to be okay with it. At least neither of them skipped dessert and stalked out of the Beverly Hills Hotel, as I suspect they might have done had they known they were on camera.

I’m sure that the two Hollywood drips had no problem tarring Donald Sterling or Mitt Romney when their private conversations were transmitted to the world at large, but it was quite a different matter when it was their own oxen being gored in the public arena.

After listening to Ms. Hemingway bemoaning the invasion of her privacy to Fox’s Howard Kurtz, it’s obvious she doesn’t grasp that sting operations are often the only way to nail drug dealers, child porn producers and arrogant, self-congratulatory, Hollywood hypocrites, who put their own nutty environmental agenda ahead of the nation’s essential energy needs.

The irony of the situation is that in 2012, Matt Damon co-wrote, co-produced and starred in a stinker titled “Promised Land.”

The sole purpose of that film was to propagandize against the alleged evils of fracking. The movie was financed at a cost of $12 million by Image Productions, but was such a dud that apparently even ecology nutburgers Hemingway and Begley avoided it.

Image Productions, by the way, is solely owned by the government of Abu Dhabi.

Hillary, Barack and Bowe

I can’t quite decide which recent news item aggravated me the most. First there was Obama’s latest salvo in his war on coal, followed by Mrs. Clinton’s clumsy attempt to put Benghazi behind her and, finally, the swap of five Islamic terrorists for one Army prisoner.

Even though Obama’s plan to finish off the coal industry through the use of EPA regulations are expected to cost America 224,000 jobs each year for the next 16 years and send energy costs soaring across the board, the Democrats are all on board for it. It is amazing to me that so many Americans, the very people it will hurt the most, continue paying lip service to the hoax known as global-warming.

At present, coal supplies 40% of our electrical needs. You would think that even backward children would recognize that if a foreign nation attempted to cut off our coal supply, we would go to war with them. So why is it that millions of Americans, along with the liberals they elect to high office, are so willing to be complicit in the self-destruction of the nation’s economy?

That brings us to Hillary Clinton, who’s still acting coy about running for president and is about as convincing as a $10 hooker announcing that after turning another dozen tricks she’s entering a nunnery. It would take someone as arrogant and deceitful as Cruella d’Clinton to claim that the GOP is politicizing Benghazi when everyone knows or should know that the reason the massacre of the four Americans and the ensuing cover-up took place was because it was Obama’s pre-election mantra that Osama bin Laden was dead and Al Qaeda was on life support.

Hillary declares she won’t engage in a political slugfest over Benghazi on the backs of four dead Americans. It’s like Al Capone announcing that he won’t lower himself to debating the pros and cons of paying income taxes. I find it laughable for Hillary, who hasn’t taken a non-political breath since she was weaned 65 years ago, to ever condemn another for playing politics.

For my part, I say what difference, at this point, does it make what the lying shrew says. Let her wait until she’s in front of Trey Gowdy’s committee and her choice is to risk perjury charges if she lies or face a dashing of her presidential hopes if she takes a page from Lois Lerner’s playbook and pleads the Fifth.

When you see a 91-year-old Texas congressman running for re-election or an Eric Shinseki trying to hang on to his job at the VA in the midst of a media firestorm while being universally derided, you begin to grasp just how marvelous the perks are for a Washington insider.

That is why, if I were president, the first things I would do is banish every government limo within city limits, cut every congressional and bureaucratic office into three or four cubicles and slash everybody’s staff down to three or four people. That would be the rule for everyone, except, of course, for President Prelutsky. For me, it would be enough of a sacrifice to wear long pants and have to associate with politicians.

It occurred to me that if you happen to know a rich liberal, try sneaking into his house and setting up housekeeping. If he complains, accuse him of being a hypocrite. After all, why should anyone espousing comprehensive immigration reform (formerly known as amnesty) object to someone seeking a better life by scrounging off someone who has more? According to my rules, you collect extra points if you manage to sneak into Jeb Bush’s home or Barack Obama’s.

When you realize that in Mexico, 95% of all felonies go unpunished, you can better understand why they were so anxious to grab ex-Marine Andrew Tahmooressi, whose crime was being stuck in the wrong traffic lane. It improved their arrest numbers.
The main question regarding Jay Carney’s sudden bolt from the White House podium is whether he’ll ever be able to stop lying now that he’s no longer Obama’s mouthpiece or if the problem is now permanently ingrained.

Of all the ways in which this administration wastes money, perhaps nothing is quite as outrageous as foreign aid. Inasmuch as Sudan receives $300 million a year from us, you would think all it would take would be a phone call to get that Christian woman who faces 100 lashes and execution because of her religion released. But, as you may have noticed, we not only don’t attach any strings to our largesse, we even refuse to taint the gift by suggesting that occasionally a bit of gratitude would be appreciated. For $300 million, Sudan’s only response to our command that it jump should be “How high?”

It’s fascinating the way liberals feel free to trash conservative blacks like Clarence Thomas and Tom Sowell, women like Sarah Palin and Condoleezza Rice, or gays like GOP congressional candidate Carl DeMaio, condemning them as traitors to their race, gender or sexual orientation. However, when confronted by an actual traitor like Edward Snowden, their first instinct is to proclaim him a hero.

Speaking of heroes, I was as ready as anyone to break out the confetti and party hats to celebrate the return of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl until I heard the price of his release was the release of five Islamic terrorists from Gitmo. The next thing I heard was that far from being a hero, the reason Sgt. Bergdahl had been so easily abducted by the Taliban was because he had wandered off the military base in Afghanistan while attempting to desert.

His former colleagues aren’t looking forward to his being feted at the White House. They’d prefer to see him go directly to Leavenworth because American lives were lost by those who had to go searching for him. Not exactly a Private Ryan type saga.

Adding to the farce, we had Bergdahl’s father, looking like a jihadist, standing alongside Obama in the Rose Garden praising Allah and speaking Pashto, the lingo of the Taliban.

Speaking of the unspeakable, it occurs to me that Obama swore to shut down Gitmo. To achieve that result, all he needs now is to have a few more Army deserters snatched up by our enemies, and then swap the remaining terrorists for them.

If the Taliban dig in their heels, I’m betting our commander-in-chief could be persuaded to sweeten the deal by tossing in a few Happy Meals, his autographed photo of Oprah Winfrey, a beer summit with Joe Biden and a CD of Slim Whitman’s Greatest Hits.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, June 6, 2014


As most of you know, I am often pointing out the problems I have with liberal arts colleges. I am bothered by the cost of their tuitions, by the radical politics of their professors and by the craven cowardice of their administrators.

Taken in order, there is no good reason why parents and students should have to go into debt. The price of books hasn’t increased to such an extent that an education that used to run a few thousand dollars now runs to six figures. Next, if there is any place where freedom of thought and expression should be encouraged, it’s on college campuses. But, thanks to an ever-vigilant academic gestapo, conservatives are persona non grata, both on the faculty and in the student body.

Finally, in short order, we have seen one notable guest speaker after another being uninvited to have their say at Smith, Brandeis, Haverford and Rutgers. People as diverse as ex-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice; Robert Birgeneau, the former chancellor of UC Berkeley; Christine Lagarde, the first female head of the International Monetary Fund; and Ayaan Hirsi Ali, upon whose head the Islamists have placed a fatwa because she has dared to speak out about the atrocities visited on females in the Muslim world; have all been publicly insulted by the pinheads of academia.

I used to wonder why I was never invited to speak sense to the young grads. Who better to point out to the young narcissists that they’re not the be-all and end-all of the human race? But these days, the real honor is in being uninvited. However, proof that cowardice pays is to be found in the salaries of college presidents, nine of whom currently rake in over a million dollars a year, with scores of others not far behind.

But all is not lost. Hillsdale College in Michigan has long been a beacon of light. Because of the college’s refusal to accept federal grants, Hillsdale attracts an open-minded faculty and, therefore, a student body that isn’t indoctrinated by over-paid pinheads promoting such moronic beliefs as redistribution of wealth, a world governed by the U.N. and global warming.

Another exemplary institution is Missouri’s College of the Ozarks. It collects no tuition. Instead, the 1400 students work their way through college by helping to run the school’s power plant, museum, lodge, fire station and dairy farm or by cooking, cleaning and providing campus security. Those found to be goldbricks get the old heave-ho.

Perhaps some of you who regularly donate to your alma mater might consider making out those checks to colleges that actually reflect your values. Perhaps you might even consider endowing a few more such colleges, thus providing conservative professors with a few places other than McDonald’s and White Castle where they could actually find employment.

The brouhaha over Jill Abramson being fired at the NY Times, allegedly because she wasn’t being paid the same salary as her male predecessor, reminds me that liberals often talk a much better game than they play.

Many years ago, when I had my first job, as a copywriter at the Carson-Roberts Advertising Agency, I made it my policy to find out what other people were being paid. When I found out that in spite of Carson and Roberts being avowed liberals, a female colleague of mine was only making $8,000 a-year when her exact equal in terms of length of employment and responsibility, a male, was making $12,000, I let her know she was being played for a chump.

She was reluctant to ask for a raise, saying that she would be embarrassed to confront her bosses. I pointed out that she had the job because she was good at it, not because she was a charity case. What’s more, I told her she would ultimately ask for more money because I would otherwise confront her every day and tease her by pointing out that the guy in the next office was being paid 50% more than she was.

As you can imagine, anything was better than being taunted by a fellow born to taunt. So she asked for a raise that afternoon, and, naturally, she got it.

The next time I discovered that liberals were as hypocritical about pay scales as about everything else is when I was invited to Virginia to take part in a symposium devoted to television. One of the other guests was a woman who was one of two vice-presidents in Norman Lear’s production company. Over late night drinks, she confessed that she was being paid $75,000-a-year, a very good salary in 1980, except that her male counterpart was pulling down $125,000.

It didn’t stop there. When Norman Lear was honored at a National Organization of Women convention soon after, he got a standing ovation when he announced that he was making a $250,000 donation to NOW in the name of his fictional “All in the Family” creation, Edith Bunker. The harridans in NOW didn’t know that Lear was only a feminist when it came to being feted in public and, what’s worse, they wouldn’t have cared if they had known. In the same way, they and Hillary Clinton never cared if slimy politicians such as Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton preyed on their female staffers just so long as they said the right things in their speeches and voted the right way when it came to abortions.

Speaking of Mrs. Clinton, when the 3 a.m. call she kept referring to during the 2008 primary campaign finally came in response to the terrorist attack on Benghazi, was anyone really surprised when the exchange between her and Obama took the form of “You take it!” “No, you take it!”?

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?