Monday, September 29, 2014

Religion & Other Taboo Topics

Irecently heard from a woman whose late son had been gay, but had nevertheless been a conservative and had tried to persuade his gay friends not to vote for Obama.

I commended her for raising a son who obviously thought for himself. I also let her know that I realized that not every homosexual feels compelled to cast his lot with the Left simply because liberals have adopted same-sex marriage as a major plank in their goofy platform.

Still, knowing something about her from earlier exchanges, I asked how it was that she could continue being a Presbyterian when the church hierarchy is not only to the left of the DNC, but virulently anti-Israel, forever denouncing the Jewish state and leading the anti-Semitic chorus of those urging individuals and colleges to divest themselves of their investments in Israeli companies.

I understand that it is no easy thing for people to reject the religion they were born into, be it Islam or a Protestant faith. I also admit I have no idea what difference there is between Presbyterians and, say, Methodists. But I do know that the Presbyterian clergy has long taken the side of Israel’s existential foes, and if I had been born a Presbyterian, I know that I would be looking around for an escape hatch, just as I would, if I’d been unfortunate enough to have been born and raised a Muslim.

As some of you are aware, I do a webcast every Wednesday, noon Pacific Time, at I have two sponsors, and whenever I’m doing a commercial for them, I make it a point to mention that Mike Carmolinga, who co-owns Lulu’s restaurant here in the San Fernando Valley, and Tom Tinney, who owns Goodoletom’s Precious Metals, are true conservatives. I do that because I think it behooves conservatives to support their own.

Frankly, I don’t understand why conservatives persist in ignoring the politics and values of those to whom they give their hard-earned money. For instance, with all the insurance companies in America, why do business with Progressive, which lives up to its name by funneling tens of millions of dollars every election year to liberal politicians, and why pay dues to AARP, which did so much to shove ObamaCare down our throats?

Recently I devoted a sizable portion of an article to an email debate I had with a reader who took me to task for celebrating Harry Truman’s decision to drop a couple of A-bombs on Japan in 1945, bringing World War II to a rapid conclusion. The good news is that although it brought me a huge response from readers, certainly the largest in the past five years, not a single respondent agreed with the other guy.

I did receive one email the other day that made me realize that not every one of my readers is brighter than a sack of potatoes. It was his contention that the only reason that the GOP House passes bills is in order to appease Republican voters. I can see where it might seem that way when you realize that Harry Reid sends all such legislation straight to the paper shredder, but the members of the House are merely doing what they’re paid to do. Of course if Reid allowed the Senate to do what they’re paid to do –namely vote -- Obama and his puppet over at Fox, Juan Williams, wouldn’t be able to accuse the House Republicans of being obstructionists.

But with Obama quarterbacking from the White House and Harry Reid acting as his offensive left tackle, being an obstructionist is as honorable as being a member of the French, Dutch or Danish, resistance during World War II.

Another of my readers felt like taking me on because I had suggested that I would be okay with Ted Cruz or Bobby Jindal running for the presidency in 2016. He pointed out the part of the Constitution limiting the office to people over the age of 35 who were natural-born citizens. I wrote back: “I’m afraid that in an age when babies born to illegal aliens are regarded as American citizens, ‘natural-born’ has become a vague term, at best. In fact, Article 2, section 1, of the Constitution leaves a lot to be desired. It reads ‘No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen years a Resident within the United States.’

“If taken literally, doesn’t that deny the office to anyone who wasn’t alive when the Constitution was adopted some 227 years ago? Besides, I always regarded that as the one questionable portion of the document. Why deny ourselves a president who has come here legally and chosen to be an American as opposed to someone who was simply lucky enough to have been born here? It just strikes me as silly to deprive people who can be elected governor or senator of the right to be president.

“Moreover, a lot of people have disagreed with the framers of the Constitution. What’s more, those divinely-inspired men expected it and provided for it. That’s why we’re allowed to amend it, as we’ve now done on 27 occasions. In fact, if I had even more time on my hands than I do, I would start a movement to do away with dual-citizenship. It not only flies in the face of the Constitution that anyone can simultaneously pledge allegiance to two different countries, it contradicts commonsense and common decency in the same way that bigamy does.”

When he wrote back to say, “So you have decided, like Obama, to disagree with the framers,” I decided he had mistaken my courtesy for weakness, and replied, “Not even James Madison expected everyone to agree with each and every word he wrote. Unlike Obama, I haven’t ignored the Constitution or subverted it, so I would appreciate it if you choose your words a bit more carefully in the future.”

Finally, when yet another reader commended me for something amusing I had written, I wrote back to acknowledge that laughter is indeed the best medicine…unless you have the clap, in which case penicillin is the best medicine.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, September 26, 2014

Hoaxers, Hucksters & Hooey

Idon't know if you’re aware of it, and until I checked it out I certainly wasn’t, but 17 states are represented by one Democrat and one Republican in the U.S. Senate. How can that be? How is it that in a nation as divided as America is today, that a third of the states have seen fit to split its vote this way?

Frankly, I can better understand California’s electing a pair of liberal dingbats like Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer than I can grasp why it is that, say, Alaska, Florida, New Hampshire and Wisconsin, wound up with one dingbat and one Republican.

While I’m at it, why do Maine’s Sen. Angus King and Vermont’s Bernie Sanders get away with claiming to be Independents when neither of them has ever been anything but a rubberstamp for Barack Obama and Harry Reid? How is it that the folks who offer cookies, cars and clothing for sale aren’t allowed to get away with false labeling, but politicians and movies get to do it all the time?

One of my readers, Sam Marx, has suggested that the Republicans running for office this November should take advantage of Obama’s dithering when it comes to confronting Islamic devils by adopting the slogan “Democrats Are Soft on Terrorism” just as they used to be accused of being soft on communism in the midst of the Cold War, when they foolishly pushed for unilateral disarmament.

Liberals, by and large, prefer slogans to policies. Even after ISIS had gobbled up huge parcels of Syria and Iraq, we had Obama confess he had no strategy for defeating them. But that should have come as no surprise to those of us who have lived through half a century of liberals pretending that Lorraine Schneider’s “War Is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things” and Jerry Rubin’s “Make Love, Not War” constituted a coherent foreign policy.

While watching TV the other night, I saw a Penn & Teller’s show devoted to the global-warming hoax. One of the participants was a woman who claimed to be a licensed therapist whose specialty was dealing with the disorders of those deeply troubled by something called ecological anxiety.

Among the symptoms she listed were stomach aches; headaches; feelings of just being nervous, but not really knowing why; inattention or inability to focus and concentrate. Granted I’m not a medical professional, but it sure sounded a lot like a hangover.

The takeaway for me is that Al Gore isn’t the only toad in the world cashing in on the global warming con game, although he remains the biggest and most repulsive toad in the swamp, and surely the only one who’s been able to hop away with an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy and a Nobel Peace Prize.

This therapist works out of her home in New Mexico, a state that is apparently the natural habitat for every aging hippie who believes crystals and chanting cure cancer.

We got to see her working with six people claiming to be suffering from eco-anxiety. Apparently, a centerpiece of her treatment is to collect rocks from her driveway and give one to each of her subjects. They were told to keep it in their pocket to remind them that they were one with nature, although I suspect it was to reassure them that there were things in the world even dumber than themselves, although, to be fair, the rocks hadn’t spent good money flying to New Mexico.

The lesson I came away with is that it’s better to have rocks in your driveway than rocks in your head.

Part of the show was devoted to carbon credit offsets. Apparently these work on the honor system; people are expected to fine themselves for such criminal acts as using air conditioners or driving SUVs. They then pay for their sins by donating money that can be used to build wind farms, manufacture solar panels or pay for Al Gore’s suntan lotion.

For me, the most shocking segment of the show was devoted to man and woman-on-the-street interviews, as one seemingly sane person after another described Gore as a hero, a prophet and a living saint. Not even one of them referred to him as a hypocrite, a con man or even a horse’s patootie.

But Penn and Teller are nobody’s patsies and they disclosed that Gore, who makes a habit of flying around on private jets, only got around to putting solar panels on his own Tennessee mansion when it was disclosed that, based on his utility bills, he used more than 17 times as much electricity as the average person in the Volunteer State.

But, to be fair, the guys did admit that he pays for his own ecological sins by writing a check every so often to a carbon credit company, Generation Investment Management.

And when you get right down to it, is it really anyone’s business that Gore owns Generation Investment Management?

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

"Can America Be Saved?" and "Footballs: Political & Pigskin"

I believe it is essential that the GOP take back control of the Senate in November because it would help limit the damage that Obama can do to this nation in his final two years. But I’m not sure that’s enough. If you doff your rose-colored glasses, it’s awfully hard to see a lot of silver linings.

Once you get past our gallant past and the promise of our divinely-inspired Constitution, what do you see? What I see are a million abortions a year. I see the foolishness of same-sex marriages and I see states tripping over themselves in their rush to legalize brain-deadening drugs. I see the filth and decadence of our popular culture. I see journalists who have rejected objectivity and assumed the role of propagandists for the Left. I see our leaders promoting a racial divide that ignores black violence, black illegitimacy rates and the morphing of black thugs into Muslim terrorists, while accusing the entire white race of bigotry.

Furthermore, I see an education system, once the envy of the world, moving away from instruction in favor of indoctrination, and colleges that continue to offer degrees in such clownish pursuits as Black, Hispanic and Lesbian Studies. I see parents flaunting their vanity by insisting that even the dullest of their offspring squander years and a potful of money getting degrees that neither make them any smarter nor help them earn a post-graduate living.

In the meantime, they move back to their parents’ basements, demonstrate with Occupy Wall Street slackers, and whine about the injustice of capitalism, while thousands of jobs for welders, mechanics and plumbers, go begging.

As if all that isn’t bad enough, we continue to keep our borders porous because those in one party want Hispanic votes and an increased number of union members and those in the other party lust for cheap labor. And for reasons I can’t begin to grasp, neither party wants us to get out of the U.N. and get the U.N. out of the U.S.

To this day, I don’t understand why we ever decide to defend one group of Muslims from another group of Muslims. I understand attacking them whenever they appear to be a risk to America or Israel, but not on behalf of anyone but ourselves. These people are not our friends; they are swamp creatures. What’s more, all they ever do during these conflicts is offer to hold our coat while we do their fighting and dying for them.

I recently saw a cartoon of Obama trying to explain the seating arrangements at an Anti-ISIL gathering to a maître d’: “Just make sure you don’t put any enemy-of-my-enemies next to any friend-of-my-friend’s-enemies-enemy.”

Recently, a man in London at a rare non-Islamic demonstration was seen carrying a sign that read “We would boycott Palestinian goods, but they don’t make anything.” That’s not entirely true. They make trouble and, what’s more, it’s their major export.

These days, we can’t even trust our scientists to tell us the truth. Take global warming, for instance. I am not a climatologist. I don’t spend my time measuring glaciers, taking the ocean’s temperature or interviewing polar bears. My particular strength is sniffing out hypocrisy and bullshit.

So when I hear so-called experts defending global warming as “settled science” or “scientific consensus,” I know I’m standing downwind from a stockyard. Science is rarely or ever settled unless we’re referring to things that have been measured and proven, such as the law of gravity or the theory of relativity. As for consensus, science is not proven by taking a vote, especially not when by measurement, there has been no discernible warming for the past 17 years!

Therefore, when it comes to siding with one group of experts or another, I ask myself which group is receiving academic honors and government grants. Which side is being hired by universities and being granted tenure? And which side keeps trying to provide facts in spite of facing ridicule and the loss of employment while being labeled “climate-deniers,” likening them to Holocaust-deniers and “Truthers” by the likes of Al Gore, Barack Obama and Harry Reid, who have a vested political and financial interest in promoting the hoax.

Possibly the surest sign that America is in decline is that the country twice elected Barack Hussein Obama to be its commander-in-chief. The chump hasn’t the know-how to be a crossing guard, but we gave him the same two terms we once gave George Washington and Ronald Reagan. As I said just prior to the 2012 election, I thought America could probably survive eight years of Obama, but I wasn’t so sure it could survive an electorate that would grant him a second term.

I keep hearing people tell me that Obama is bright. But how bright can he be when, reminiscent of Bill Clinton’s inability to define “is,” this turkey can’t define “war” or recognize “Islamic terrorism,” which he keeps referring to as “workplace violence” or as criminal activity on a par with knocking over a 7-11.

Both Obama and Kerry seem to think that if we don’t send ground forces into Iraq and Syria, and only rely on planes and bombs, it’s not really a war. However, during WWII, Germany never successfully invaded England. Instead, they relied on the Luftwaffe and their V-2 missiles. I suspect the English believed they were engaged in a war even if there were no Nazi boots on the ground.

A minute after announcing the beheading of an American, Obama ran off to the links. Then, when he was chastised for his insensitivity, he said he should have anticipated “the optics.” That statement not only confirmed once again how unfit he is for the office he holds, but exposes what a group of toadies and incompetents he has surrounded himself with that not one of them – not Valerie Jarrett, Josh Earnest, David Plouffe or even Michelle –advised him to skip golf on that day of national shock and mourning.

Richard Nixon once wrote a memoir called “Six Crises,” in which he detailed half a dozen memorable events in which he played a role, including the Alger Hiss case and his debate with Nikita Khrushchev. George W. Bush wrote a memoir called “Decision Points” in which he related how he came to make a dozen of his most important decisions related to 9/11, the invasion of Iraq and the war on terrorism.

If Barack Obama ever gets around to writing his own presidential memoir, I assume it will deal with the 18 toughest rounds of golf he played during his time in office.


Much, I’d say too much, has been made of the incident in the elevator involving Ray Rice and his then-fiancée. I believe that most of us agree that men should not slug women and women should not spit on men. But in a world where men are being beheaded and women are being stoned, whipped and sold into sexual slavery, I think we should all get a grip.

In the wake of the incident NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stood a good chance of losing his job. As I sit here, the question hasn’t yet been answered and, unless you’re a friend or relative of Mr. Goodell’s, it will be of no concern to you.

Perhaps it’s because I have no interest in football that the only thing that made me sit up and take notice was when a spokesperson for the league said, “The NFL will do everything in its power to restore honor and integrity to the country’s most lucrative and popular pastime.” There’s no getting around the fact that Americans, by and large, love their football, but “honor” and “integrity”? This is a sport, let us never forget, that welcomed Michael Vick, a convicted torturer and killer of dogs, back into its ranks. Whether we’re talking about football at the college or professional level, “honor” and “integrity” are two words that are as out of place as they’d be in a candid `discussion of American politics.

Speaking of politics, as some of you already know, I greatly admire Dr. Ben Carson’s surgical skills. But I fail to see how his career has prepared him to be the Commander-in-Chief. Although I understand that we all have reason to question career politicians, I no more want another amateur in the Oval Office than I do in an operating room.

I have already raised my objection to Dr. Carson based on his lukewarm defense of the Second Amendment and his fulsome praise of Jesse Jackson, hailing the race-baiting corporate extortionist as a great leader of the civil rights movement, but I have only recently discovered that he supports affirmative action. That’s perfectly understandable because he has acknowledged being a beneficiary of the policy. But he is 62 years old, meaning that he benefited from it four decades ago. To suggest that even 50 years after the passage of the Civil Rights Act, it should be necessary to offer black students advantages over everyone else smacks of reverse racism.

As of this August, Dr. Carson’s PAC had raised eight million dollars. My question is what happens to the dough if he decides not to run or if he simply drops out of the race if he fares badly in Iowa or New Hampshire? Somehow, I doubt if the unused portion will be returned to the donors. So who the heck gets it?

As I have admitted in the past, I am not religious, probably because I wasn’t raised in a religious household. Still, I don’t get why so many people are proud to boast they’re atheists. To me, it appears that these nincompoops have signed up for a religion based on nothing more than their own disbelief.

I mean, how can one devote so much of one’s time to denying the existence of something one insists isn’t real? After all, people like the late Christopher Hitchens don’t go around debating whether the Easter Bunny lays chocolate eggs.

What I do know is that if I devoted my life to denying that God exists and mocking those who believe in Him, I’d be having serious second thoughts on my death bed. For when it comes to knowing who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, one has to assume Santa Claus is no competition for God.

When a reporter asked Obama if it wasn’t true that the only reason he had postponed announcing amnesty for millions of illegal aliens until after the midterm elections was because Senate Democrats had begged him to hold off, giving them at least a shot at being re-elected, Obama denied it. However, being Obama, he couldn’t help tipping his hand by saying “And I’m being honest now…” One, people accustomed to telling the truth don’t feel compelled to assure others they’re not lying. Two, that pesky little “now,” suggests that, subconsciously at least, he was signaling that everything he had said previously was absolute rubbish.

What is amazing about Obama is that even though he has spent even more time lying to the American people than he has playing golf, he is no better at lying today than he was in 2008. One can only hope that at least his golf game has improved.

As an example of what a politician should be, consider Ted Cruz. Recently, he agreed to address an organization called the Defense of Christians. It seems that several Christian leaders from Syria and Lebanon, who had voiced support for Bashar Assad and Hezbollah and had made some virulently anti-Semitic remarks, were in attendance.

Apparently the organizers of the event assumed that Sen. Cruz would temper his remarks and shy away from speaking about the Jew hatred that festers equally among Christians and Muslims in the Middle East.

Instead, Cruz told the audience that those who hate Israel also hate America, and those who hate Jews also hate Christians, and that anyone who hates Israel and the Jewish people is not following the teachings of Christ.

He went on to say that Christians in the Middle East have no better friend than Israel, and that it’s the one nation where Christians can pursue their faith free of persecution. His words were greeted with a chorus of boos.

Before leaving the stage, the Texas senator told the creeps that “if you will not stand with Israel, if you will not stand with the Jews, I will not stand with you.”

Can you, in your wildest fantasy, imagine Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton venturing into such a venue and stating a position with such moral clarity? Obama, as we all recall, bowed and scraped to Islam in his 2009 Cairo speech and Mrs. Clinton showed her own true colors when she scolded a congressional committee, insisting that it made no difference who attacked our consulate in Benghazi and massacred four gallant Americans.

The most disturbing aspect of the response to Sen. Cruz wasn’t the booing from the Middle Eastern contingent, but the fact that so few American Christians in the auditorium were willing to confront the bigots in their midst by at least applauding the senator’s remarks.

Far too often, conservatives try to pass off their reluctance to stand up to bullies as simply good manners. But it’s not worth the effort because absolutely no one is fooled. Even on a school playground, no eight-year-old has ever confused cowardice with civility.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, September 22, 2014

The Case For Negative Campaigning

Next to having pundits and politicians urging uninformed, uninterested, couch potatoes to get out and vote, nothing during election years ticks me off quite as much as listening to birdbrains groan on about negative campaigning.

I have no idea how it got started or who started it, but I suspect it was some political weasel who had mastered the art of taking and concealing bribes, and who resented the opposition candidate going public with the news. After all, none of us can keep track of everything our representatives do or even how they vote. The one good thing about elections is that the people who have the most to gain by filling in the blank spots finally have our undivided attention.

Besides, politicians, whatever else they may be, are people too, and people are far likelier to tell the truth about others than they are about themselves.

That isn’t meant to suggest I approve of lying. It does mean I want to know the very worst about those seeking my vote. And if lies are being told, I want to know about that, too, and I don’t condemn those in the best position to tell me.

If anything, I tend to distrust so-called positive campaigning, which takes the form of making promises that most of the time the candidate is in no position to fulfill. For instance, if a Republican vows to get rid of the Affordable Care Act, he may have good intentions, but until Obama packs up and moves back to Chicago, it remains nothing more than a sales promotion without a money-back guarantee.

Someone wrote to me recently, promoting the notion of term limits. I understood his argument, I simply disagreed. If people wish to keep voting for the same rascals, I figure that’s their inalienable right. Besides, as I wrote back to those who wished to share their jubilation upon hearing that Henry Waxman was finally retiring from the House, who did they think would replace him? Inasmuch as the voters in California’s 33rd Congressional District had been re-electing Waxman for the past 40 years, the 33rd obviously has more idiots per square mile than Holland has tulips. There are three things I can safely say, sight unseen, about the person who’ll be taking over. He or she will be younger than Waxman, be equally boneheaded when it comes to the issues and have much smaller nostrils.

Another reader wrote, wondering why, by and large, politics attracts such a mediocre group of people. “It can hardly be otherwise,” I responded, “because most rational human beings prefer to pursue a career where people who tend to be uninformed or misinformed don’t get to decide every two, four or six years, if you get to keep your job. On top of that, even if you manage to win your election, you will then have to go to work every day and try to get along with a bunch of slack-jawed ignoramuses like Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Chuck Schumer, Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, Patty Murray, Al Franken and Elijah Cummings.

Worse yet, you might have to put up with the self-righteous racist, Eric Holder, whom that other self-righteous racist, Barack Obama, put in charge of the Justice Department.

It was bad enough when Holder refused to indict the New Black Panthers for intimidating white voters in Philadelphia, but it only got worse when he decided that under his watch only whites would ever be indicted and tried for race crimes. And no matter how often America has seen black thugs attack white cops and white civilians for no other reason than their race, Holder has remained steadfast.

Because of the power Holder wields, not even the usual suspects, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright, can count themselves as true contenders for the title when it comes to being the Biggest Racist in America.

From opening day, Holder has chided white America for being too cowardly to have a conversation about race. But Holder is in no position to cast stones because he refuses to acknowledge that when the great majority of white Americans show antipathy to blacks, it has nothing to do with pigmentation, everything to do with values or, as Martin Luther King put it, character.

It so happens white Americans have no problem distinguishing between good people and bad, readily able, unlike Holder, to distinguish between the likes of Condoleezza Rice, Jayson Riley, Ben Carson, Clarence Thomas, Star Parker and Thomas Sowell and street thugs like Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown.

It may come as a bolt from the blue to Holder, who views the world through ebony-colored glasses, but most white people have little or no use for white people who don’t even bother graduating from high school; who deal or use illegal drugs; who accept welfare as a legitimate life style; who don’t bother getting married before having babies; who don’t take responsibility for their crimes, preferring to blame others or simply circumstances for murder, rape and robbery.

If we abhor such behavior in whites, Mr. Holder, why on earth should we accept or excuse it when it comes to blacks? You keep telling us that whites are too cowardly to have an honest conversation about race. If you mean we don’t want to be lectured to by an attorney general who has lost sight of what justice is or why Lady Justice is always pictured wearing a blindfold, you’re right. But if you want to have a debate, name the time and place. I’m locked and loaded.

Finally, I long ago decided that senior moments only meant that our older heads are so filled with names, facts, dates and memories that it just keeps getting harder and harder to sift through everything as quickly as we once did, when we were younger and knew so much less. And now I’m happy to report that scientific researchers have finally come to the same conclusion. It only takes them longer because, one, they lack my intuitive powers and, two, they wouldn’t get paid if they skipped past all the boring stuff.

But this normal condition should obviously not be confused with the tragedy of Alzheimer’s. Those poor souls don’t suffer from having an over-stuffed attic, but from having the remains of an attic in which some unknown villain has lobbed a hand grenade.

Still, the next time you find yourself standing in a room, unsure whether you’re there to pick something up or lay something down, think about poor Methuselah and consider yourself lucky. Rumor has it he made it all the way to his 969th birthday. Imagine what it must have been like for him, spending nearly nine hundred years trying to remember where the heck he left his keys.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, September 19, 2014

Cultists & Other Creeps

Why is it that one administration after another insists on carrying on an unseemly love affair with Islam? For several years, George W. Bush kept telling us that Islam was a religion of peace when, clearly, it was the one religion in the entire world that wasn’t.

These days, we have Obama curtsying to sheiks, imans and ayatollahs, every chance he gets. For good measure, the eminent theologian, John Kerry, who merely moonlights as the secretary of state, claimed, at a ceremony to appoint Texas lawyer Shaarik Zafer to be special representative to Muslim communities, that it was America’s biblical responsibility to confront climate change and to protect vulnerable Muslim majority countries. “It’s a responsibility that comes from God,” he insisted, without clarifying whether or not he was referring to Obama.

How reassuring it is to know that the State Department is being overseen by someone so deeply concerned with the well-being of our archenemies. And how is it that we need to have a special envoy to Muslim communities when we seem to get along fine without envoys to Catholic, Jewish, Presbyterian, Baptist, Hindu, Shinto or Amish, communities?

In this particular case, we had Kerry paying homage to two cults simultaneously. The first consists of those who insist that global warming is anything but a hoax created in order to enrich those invested in so-called green energy operations and the politicians who reside deep inside the pockets of the ecology nuts who exchanged their brains for membership in the Sierra Club. The second is the cult of Islam, which only pretends to be a religion so that pinheaded barbarians can pray to something besides their goats.

Yet another cult is the one devoted to personalities, which is why I despise politicians who are described as charismatic, and why I take exception to those who claim that someone like Gov. Scott Walker, for instance, shouldn’t be the GOP presidential candidate in 2016. Such louts dismiss competence as boring. The problem is that charisma inevitably gets you someone like Hitler, Mussolini, Peron, Castro, Huey Long, Obama and Hugo Chavez.

Speaking of Chavez, the late, unlamented, dictator, left-wing Venezuelans have altered the Lord’s Prayer in places to read, “Our Chavez, who art in Heaven….” and “lead us not into the temptation of capitalism.” Over the Church’s objections, Chavez’s successor, Nicolas Maduro, has endorsed the new version.

Closer to home, we have Berkeley’s city council members, who are forever in competition with their loony colleagues in San Francisco, deciding to dispense free marijuana to anyone making less than $32,000-a-year. I suppose now that the gauntlet has been thrown down, Frisco will have no choice but to offer free heroin.

As if it’s not embarrassing enough that the chief propagandist for ISIS, Ahmad Abousamra, is an American who hails from Boston, it so happens he has dual-citizenship. Thanks to open borders, we are barely a sovereign nation these days, but allowing for dual citizenship is totally beyond the pale. That is especially the case when the other nation, as is the case with Mr. Abousamra, happens to be Syria, one of our archenemies. The question that comes to mind is how, even if we get our hands on the bum, the U.S. can even indict and convict him for treason when he is fighting for one of his two countries.

If someone told you that global-warming is the greatest crisis facing America, as Hillary Clinton recently stated, you would question her ability to run a lemonade stand, let alone a nation. But here she is announcing that a climate hoax is a greater threat than China and North Korea threatening our Far East allies; greater than ISIS and Iran threatening Israel and America; and greater than Russia threatening all of Eastern Europe. To me, the only threat that comes close to these others is the threat of Hillary Clinton being returned to the White House.

You would think that so long as the law of averages hasn’t been overturned that liberals would occasionally be right about something, but, as you may have noticed, when it comes to liberals, including those in the White House, laws, even natural ones, don’t pertain. So it is that this administration keeps assuring the worst villains on the face of the earth that they needn’t ever worry about “boots on the ground,” which has quickly become the most over-used expression since “at this point in time.” Whenever I hear Obama or one of his stooges utter those words, I find myself imagining a kid finally confronting a schoolyard bully and assuring his tormentor: “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t punch you in the nose.”

But there are times when even Obama, Kerry and Clinton, can’t handle all the heavy lifting. At such times, Barbara Boxer is always ready to step in and even defend the administration’s cover-up of the Benghazi massacre, insisting, “We shouldn’t try to turn a tragedy into a scandal.”

Well, Madam Senator, we conservatives didn’t do the turning. President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton did that when they spent weeks blaming the massacre on a silly video they knew played no part in provoking the terrorist attack. They might as well have blamed it on “Gone with the Wind,” ocean currents or sunspots.

As you may have noticed, liberals are always asserting their expertise when it comes to things such as the economy, national defense and the climate, things they know nothing about. Worse yet, because the educational system is such a hash, they generally have the academic credentials with which to buffalo the unsuspecting.

For instance, what constantly amazes me about those on the Left who keep demanding that corporate taxes be raised is that they seem to be totally unaware of who in the final analysis pays those taxes. It’s we the consumers. As even a child would realize, all the corporations do is add the taxes to their other expenses and pass them along in the price we pay for their products or services.

It’s sad but also shameful that those so-called progressives who spend their lives demanding that the fat cats be soaked are apparently unaware that it is they, along with the rest of us, who wind up getting drenched.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

"Divas & Demons"

When it comes to divas, the ones who would generally come to mind are Beyonce, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. But one who is clearly entitled to her rightful place on any list of arrogant, demanding, wildly overpaid female celebrities is none other than Hillary Clinton. It’s true that, unlike the others, she can’t carry a tune in a suitcase. But to be fair she has a talent they lack. She has the ability to crack glass with her unnerving cackle.

It’s bad enough that Mrs. Clinton went on TV and claimed that she and Bill were flat broke when they left the White House in 2001, trolling for sympathy from all us yokels who are struggling to survive Obama’s economic policies. Apparently Hillary’s contempt for everyone who isn’t Hillary is so great that she assumed that none of us were aware that both she and Bill had multi-million dollar book deals just waiting for them to turn off the lights in the White House.

But it now comes out that if you’re goofy enough to write her a check for $300,000 so she’ll deign to show up and give one of her boring lectures, you better keep your checkbook handy. It seems she is every bit as demanding as Michelle Obama on a bad hair day. For starters, you will have to provide a private jet with seating for 16 for the roundtrip to your venue. You will also have to set aside 20 seats at the event for her entourage. Next, you’ll have to provide her with a presidential suite at the hotel of her choice, along with three adjoining rooms for her various stooges. Finally, you’ll have to pony up enough to pay for all their meals and phone calls, along with $1,250 for madam’s stenographer.

In return, she will grant you 90 minutes of her time, the taking of no more than 50 photos with no more than 100 guests, and absolutely no press coverage.

In the meantime, the man she’d like to replace in the Oval Office is behaving even crazier than usual, giving speeches in which he goes from vowing to decimate the terrorists in Iraq to suggesting he would be willing to simply manage them. This is a wimp who couldn’t manage a Pony League baseball team pretending he can manage the barbarians in the Middle East.

Speaking of those barbarians, why is it they can’t settle on a name? First, they were ISIS (the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria). Then, a couple of days later, they were calling themselves ISIL (the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant). The next thing I knew, they were simply IS (the Islamic State.) But the day isn’t over. Nobody’s gone through so many name changes since Elizabeth Taylor wound up with a tombstone engraved Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky.

The way that Obama is dithering around, when even his vice-president, his secretary of defense, Senators Dianne Feinstein and Elizabeth Warren, and the Pope, are calling for decisive military action against the head-hacking butchers, I’m wondering if he thinks that voters this November will be sufficiently distracted by the Middle East – foreign policy being something that generally doesn’t sway many voters – to forget about the economy, the racist policies of Eric Holder and ObamaCare. I’m reminded that George Will recently channeled Lily Tomlin’s bag lady character who was wont to say, “No matter how cynical you are, you just can’t keep up.”

If Obama really sought advice when it comes to foreign affairs, he’d be wise to heed John Slawinski, who sums it up this way: “Whenever there’s trouble in the world, foreign nations and their people should either say, ‘Thank God the Americans are here’ or ‘God help us, the Americans are here.’”

Instead, we’re stuck with a schmuck in the White House who insists that the world is safer than it’s ever been, while acknowledging the world is always a messy place. Dismissing what is going on in Ukraine, North Korea, China, Iran, Syria and Iraq, as “messy” would qualify for a gold medal if the Olympics included a competition for English understatement.

I was recently ruminating about Israel’s bleak future. One needn’t be Nostradamus to see a vicious cycle of being attacked by her neighbors; eventually striking back and being condemned by the world community for doing so; agreeing to a ceasefire; then agreeing to go through the motions of negotiating with people sworn to annihilate you until the talks are inevitably interrupted by the next attack, which eventually will involve Iranian nukes.

I realize that Jews have lived there for thousands of years and that the Bible refers to Israel as the Jewish homeland, but in my head I see God tearing his hair out and hollering, “Can’t anyone take a joke? Why on earth would anyone think I’d expect my Chosen People to live among evil, swinish cultists whose only purpose in life is to kill Jews and -- oh by the way -- settle on the only land for miles around that has no oil under it? Who in his right mind would move into such a neighborhood? Actually, when I was talking about a Promised Land, I had Des Moines in mind.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, September 15, 2014

"Pimping For The President" and "Lobbying For Islam"

There are any number of jobs that I couldn’t handle physically, such as being a professional athlete or a bouncer at a nightclub; and some I wouldn’t consider because of moral objections, such as being a criminal defense attorney. But, after reading Ron Kessler’s latest book, “The First Family Detail,” there’s one I couldn’t handle for any number of reasons, and that’s being a Secret Service agent on a presidential detail.

I mean, imagine swearing to take a bullet or several bullets intended for Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton or Barack Obama. From having read Kessler’s earlier “In the President’s Secret Service,” I already knew that being assigned to protect Jimmy Carter, John Kerry or Hillary Clinton was tantamount to a prison sentence because of their blatant contempt for those sworn to sacrifice their lives for them. But when it came to guys like Kennedy, Johnson and Clinton, the day-to-day job had less to do with protecting them against assassins than it did with making sure the First Ladies didn’t trip over their various bimbos.

Speaking of which, I had a good laugh recently when a bevy of Hollywood bimbos whined that hackers had managed to upload their nude photos and send them out on the Internet. It seems to me that if you feel the need to take selfies of yourself in the buff, hackers are the least of your problems.

Frankly, I see little difference between all this and the nudity they often display in their professional lives on screen, aside from the fact that they aren’t compelled to defend this form of exhibitionism as essential to the plot of some cinematic stinkeroo.

I’m reminded of a comic strip I saw a while back. Two guys are seated at the counter of a restaurant filled with people engrossed in photographing themselves and one another on their electronic devices. The first guy says, “I read that the government wants to install cameras everywhere to record our every move.” His companion, the only person in the room not focused on one of those ubiquitous gizmos, skeptically replies, “Scary.”

Something I have never understood is why whenever someone on TV, be it Dean Martin in the old days or Bill Maher today, indicates a great fondness for booze or marijuana, the audience feels called upon to laugh knowingly. Is it intended to show that they, too, like nothing better than killing off as many of their brain cells as is humanly possible? Or is it supposed to make them seem sophisticated in spite of the fact it only makes them seem like teenage bumpkins?

Speaking of bumpkins, in 2007, Sen. Barack Obama announced, “The world will have confidence in America when I’m the president.” It’s bad enough that events have proven him to be as wrong as a person could be, but imagine the gall, the hubris, the sheer loopiness, required to make such a grandiose pronouncement.

Clearly, we have a commander-in-chief who is every bit as delusional as John Hinckley, who not only believed that actress Jodie Foster would be smitten with him if he could somehow manage to assassinate Ronald Reagan, but never even considered just sending her flowers and a box of candy.

I suspect that even if you’d pointed out to Hinckley that Ms. Foster was a lesbian, he’d have dismissed that as a mere hiccup.

Instead, like Joe E. Brown in “Some Like it Hot,” when his beloved Daphne (Jack Lemmon) finally whips off his wig and confesses, “I’m not even a woman,” Hinckley would have said, “Nobody’s perfect.”

But, clearly, every time Obama gazes into a mirror, he finds reason to disagree with Joe E. Brown, even if nobody else does. I mean, what can he possibly be thinking when an American journalist is beheaded in Iraq and he flies off to yet another fundraiser? And when a second journalist is beheaded a week later, he’s the only person in America who not only isn’t screaming for blood, but doesn’t even take a moment to offer the man’s family the nation’s condolences.

Instead, when he went on TV to admit that even a year after ISIS turned up on our radar and quickly became our worst nightmare he didn’t have a strategy to deal with the savages, the best he could come up with was the banal “We don’t want to put the cart in front of the horse.”

“Mr. President, forget about not having a strategy to annihilate these barbarians,” I would have loved to have said to him, “you don’t have a horse and your cart has a broken axle and four busted wheels.”

In other news, it appears that O.J. Simpson has decided to become a Muslim. Some cynics claim this is the latest bit of evidence showing Simpson to be psychotic. However, I, who always like to think the best of people, have an alternate theory. I’m sure we all recall that, upon being acquitted in 1995 of murdering Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, Simpson vowed to track down the real killers, and if he hadn’t been distracted by golf, loose women and being arrested for robbery and kidnapping, he just might have done it.

By converting to Islam, I believe Simpson thinks it will make it easier for him, once he’s released from jail in 2017, to resume his relentless pursuit of the villains if, perchance, they managed to elude him 19 years ago by scooting off to Yemen, Syria or Qatar.

Lobbying For Islam

As you may have heard, when Obama finally got around to announcing that he thought the Islamic State was almost as dangerous as John Kerry, Joe Biden, Chuck Hagel and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Martin Dempsey, had been insisting it was for several weeks, the first thing he did was tell us that the enemy was neither Islamic nor a state.

One could argue whether the area the terrorist group controls, an area the size of Belgium, is really a state. But, then, one could argue whether Belgium, a place the rest of us have only heard of because it was the birthplace of Agatha Christie’s fictional detective, Hercule Poirot, is a state.

What is not open to debate is whether an outfit that calls itself the Islamic State is or isn’t Islamic. The argument Obama made was that “ISIS is not Islamic because no religion condones killing innocents.” The problem is that Islam doesn’t consider Christians or Jews as innocents; it regards them as infidels whose very existence is an affront to Allah, and killing them is therefore nothing less than a religious obligation.

Making matters worse, Obama seriously went on to describe Yemen and Somalia as proof that his foreign policy has been a rousing success. That would be like Ben Affleck bragging about “Gigli” or the French pointing to the Maginot Line as proof of their military prowess.

The question that occurs to me, as it has ever since 9/11, when George W. Bush decided his mission in life was to take the heat off Muslims by constantly insisting that “Islam is a religion of peace,” is why our leaders feel compelled to lie about our enemies.

Even when Major Hasan murdered and maimed more than 30 people at Fort Hood, the current administration insisted that in spite of his being a self-proclaimed jihadist who screamed “Allah Akbar” as he slaughtered his victims, it was just another unfortunate example of workplace violence and had nothing to do with Islamic terrorism.

What is it about Islam, which can best be described as a wolf in wolf’s clothing, that has our commanders-in-chief mincing words and pussyfooting around the truth? Just for the record, Voodoo is practiced by about 60 million people worldwide. If it was practiced by a billion, would our presidents feel obliged to speak respectfully of a belief system that involves the sacrificing of goats, sheep and dogs, and the drinking of animal blood?

When you get right down to it, Voodoo has far more to recommend it than Islam. For one thing, they go in for a lot of dancing. For another, although I definitely disapprove of slitting the throats of dogs, it beats slitting the throats of women, children and American journalists, and personally, I’ll take a good old-fashioned zombie over a jihadist any day of the week. For one thing, unlike the Islamic propagandists in CAIR, they don’t get dressed up in Armani suits and go on TV, trying to fool people into thinking they’re civilized human beings. For another thing, zombies always shuffle, making it easy to out-run them.

If there’s one thing to be grateful for when it comes to the Islamic State, it’s that it’s run by dummies. I mean, they had a safe haven in Syria and they were marching through Iraq the way that Sherman zipped through Georgia, and not only was nobody in Europe or the Middle East raising a finger to stop them, but Obama was dismissing them as the junior varsity. It was nothing but clear sailing until the arrogant bastards decided to start videotaping their beheadings. Obviously, their intention was to terrify the world into a paralytic state, but, as they should have known, that is always the state of the world when it comes to confronting evil.

However, rather than leave bad enough alone, they did something so barbaric, so in keeping with the demented cult dreamed up by Muhammad 14 centuries ago, that once people quit vomiting, even Obama, who speaks softly and carries a limp wrist, figured he better do something.

But as usual, Obama, to whom a declaration of war in the Middle East would be absolute proof that his foreign policies have all been a pile of mush, had no real idea what to do. After all, it doesn’t look good when, on August 8th, you’re telling everyone that arming the Free Syrian Army is a nutty notion because they’re all just a bunch of “doctors, farmers and pharmacists,” and, on September 10th, your big plan calls on them to do our fighting in Syria.

So far as I’m concerned, it is always a rotten idea to trust Muslims to fight on your side. We saw how well that worked in Afghanistan, where Afghan soldiers killed nearly as many American soldiers as the Taliban did; and again in Libya, where we trusted our so-called allies to provide security for our consulate in Benghazi.

Still, when one hears Obama pooh-pooh citizen soldiers, one has to wonder if he and his speechwriters are totally unaware of American history or if he’s merely expressing his contempt for the rag tag group of doctors, farmers and pharmacists, who somehow managed to send the Redcoats back to England with their tails between their legs?

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, September 12, 2014

Biden, Baloney & Beheadings

On the chance that for one reason or another Hillary Clinton decides not to run in 2016, Joe Biden wants us all to know that, after spending most of his adult life at the public trough, he is willing to sacrifice his golden years to being president. It’s worth noting that he would be 72 years old when he’d move into the White House, meaning he would be 80 when he moved out. One look at Obama’s white hair should remind everyone that even a president who’s always taking off for Martha’s Vineyard or Hawaii, seems to age at supernatural speed.

Inasmuch as I’m 74, I wouldn’t want to hold his age against him, especially when there are so many other, even more compelling, reasons Biden shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office, even as a member of a tour group.

For one thing, although he was sold to us in 2008 as a man with a great deal of experience when it came to foreign affairs, as a senator he was inevitably wrong. And for the past six years, his chief function was cheerleading for the worst president in U.S. history. Will any of us ever forget the moment when the biggest potty-mouth in Washington leaned in close to Obama’s left ear and told him that the Affordable Care Act was “a big f-----g deal!”

In “The First Family Detail,” Ron Kessler’s latest book about the Secret Service, Kessler reminds us that in 2011, Obama put Biden in charge of cutting government waste. As executive decisions go, that ranks right up there with putting a fox in charge of the White House chicken coop. At least a fox wouldn’t cost taxpayers a quarter of a million dollars a year flying between the coop in Washington, D.C., and his den in Wilmington, Delaware. Furthermore, I very much doubt that -- unlike Biden -- any self-respecting fox would charge the Secret Service $2,200-a-month for the cottage that the agents assigned to protect him are forced to rent.

This is the same vice-president who spent Labor Day telling UAW members in Detroit: “It’s time to take back America.” His rallying cry drew predictable cheers from the assembled louts. But how is it possible that not even one person in the crowd raised his hand and asked, “Do you mean take it back from you and Obama?”

A Missouri state senator, Jamilah Nasheed, has been all over TV, insisting that Robert McCulloch can’t be trusted to prosecute the Michael Brown case for the novel reason that he didn’t win a majority of the black vote. I found that fascinating because Barack Obama didn’t win the majority of the white vote in 2008 or 2012. In fact, no Democratic presidential candidate has done so since LBJ back in 1964, which explains the Democrats’ endless pandering to black voters during the half century since then.

One of my readers, Penny Alfonso, has suggested that one of the most over-used expressions in America is the one that goes “We need to have a national conversation about (race) (guns) (police violence),” pointing out that, in spite of what Eric Holder claims to the contrary, we already have these conversations. They take place all the time at dinner tables, in the workplace, in taverns, ballparks and churches.

The fact is I hear from more people than most congressmen. What’s more, they hear back from me. In my experience, writing to one’s representative is a waste of a postage stamp. You either get a canned one-size-fits-all-occasions note or nothing at all.

Generally, when people call for a national conversation, they, like Attorney General Holder mean, shut up, listen to my litany of grievances, apologize for being (a racist), (a misogynist), (a homophobe), (a patriotic gun owner) or (a Christian) and admit the error of your ways.

Equally annoying is the statement to which so many members of this sleazy administration are addicted: “I can’t possibly comment in the midst of an ongoing investigation.”

Frankly, I don’t know why people decide to run off and be war correspondents, but I would suggest that anyone who decides that his destiny demands that he venture into Middle East conflicts pack a poison pill along with his toilet paper and bottled water. It would sure beat getting beheaded by some Muslim creep. And it certainly makes for a better obituary than one that happens to mention that your last words were propaganda statements attacking America.

Speaking of the Middle East, the king of Saudi Arabia recently said that people shouldn’t support terrorists. I’m not sure if you file that one under Irony or Hypocrisy. After all, the Saudi royal family has been paying off Muslim extortionists for decades in the hope that the Islamic alligators will eat them last.

Between Russia, China, North Korea, Iran and Syria, the world has become a very wicked place. But the truth is that since 1988, we’ve elected two Bushes, one Clinton and an Obama. So not only haven’t we been part of the solution, we’ve been a major part of the problem. I would suggest that you’d do better than that quartet by randomly picking four names out of the phonebook.

And as much joy as I get from kicking Obama in the shins every chance I get, and ridiculing his constant need to be playing golf and attending fundraisers, the only people I know who think they’re entitled to take five week summer vacations are the French and the members of Congress.

But at least the French know how to speak French, whereas most members of Congress can barely ask for directions to the bathroom in English.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Justice Requires No Modifiers

It's been a while now since I addressed a Rotary Club here in L.A., but I still recall taking exception to a Jewish doctor in the audience when, during the Q & A session, he spoke up on behalf of social justice. I told him that once you start using adjectives to describe justice, you are in fact removing that all important blindfold from Lady Justice’s eyes. You’re making a case for a judicial system that’s weighted in favor of, say, blacks or Hispanics, women or gays. In other words, you’re arguing for a system that is the polar opposite of justice.

Unfortunately, that is exactly what Obama, Holder and the various race-hustlers who descended upon Ferguson, Missouri, were doing when they demanded “fair and impartial justice” for Michael Brown and his family, ignoring the irony involved in calling for Officer Darren Wilson’s head even before a grand jury had heard one minute of testimony in the matter.

In the Middle East, Israel has once again shown itself to be the world’s biggest stooge. Whether it’s settling in at the negotiating table, going through the motions of seeking a peaceful resolution with those whose sole purpose in life is to wipe Israel off the face of the earth; or waging war in hopes of a ceasefire, which constitutes nothing more than a temporary interruption of a permanent problem; they insist on making themselves look foolish to those of us who support Israel, while doing nothing to diminish the hatred of the world’s anti-Semites.

Speaking of anti-Semites, I’m reminded that in a recent poll, it was discovered that even after the beheading of American journalist James Foley, 16% of the French supported ISIS. And when those polled were limited to youngsters between the ages of 18 and 25, that number soared to 27%. And while it’s true that France is home to the largest percentage of Muslims in Europe, they only account for 7.5% of the population.

Here in the United States, for all the bowing and scraping that our politicians do when it comes to the followers of Islam, the Muslims constitute less than one percent of the population, I’m happy to report.

As my readers know, while I acknowledge that Ben Carson seems like a decent fellow, I see no good reason to promote a retired surgeon as a presidential candidate when we have the likes of Scott Walker, Mike Pence, Bobby Jindal, Ted Cruz, Paul Ryan and even Mitt Romney, warming up in the bullpen.

After his recent appearances with Chris Wallace and Bill O’Reilly, I have even stronger objections to his candidacy. I knew that some conservatives were cool to Dr. Carson because of his lukewarm defense of the Second Amendment, but I was willing to cut him some slack on that issue because I assumed he had been witness to a great many unintentional shootings during his years in the operating room. However, when he goes on TV to debate events in Ferguson with Jesse Jackson and winds up effusively praising him as a great civil rights leader when Jackson has shown himself over the past half century to be a race-baiter, a corporate extortionist and an adulterer, I’m no longer giving Doc Carson the benefit of the doubt.

Praising Jackson as a great civil rights leader would be tantamount to the travel industry giving Adolf Hitler a shout-out for being instrumental in getting millions of Americans to visit Europe during World War II.

Obama’s trained seals at the IRS now admit, thanks to Judicial Watch, that they can retrieve Lois Lerner’s emails, but that to do so would be onerous. I think we can all agree on that if by “onerous,” they mean terribly embarrassing to the Obama administration.

When Burger King decides to move its headquarters from the U.S. to Canada in order to lower its corporate tax rate from 35% to 15%, Obama berates the company for being unpatriotic. But perhaps, as with onerous, liberals don’t quite grasp the meaning of patriotism. It doesn’t mean, as Obama’s insult would imply, being stupid. Would he also label as unpatriotic those businesses and individuals leaving California, with its 10.5% tax rate, for saner sanctuaries in Arizona and Texas?

By the way, Burger King isn’t even an American enterprise. It’s owned by a Brazilian equity company. So the “Home of the Whopper” is actually Rio de Janeiro, although I’d say the White House could justifiably lay claim to the title.

In January, Obama dismissed ISIS as the junior varsity. He compared them to kids who don L.A. Laker jerseys and think that makes them Kobe Bryant. But, lo and behold, a few months later, they’re the ones gobbling up Syria and Iraq, crucifying Christians and beheading Americans. And in the meantime, without even running it by the U.S., Egypt and the United Arab Republic bombed Libya. So who’s the schmuck with the big 0 on the back of his jersey warming the bench today?

Finally, because it’s getting harder and harder to find something to laugh about so long as Barack Obama is running the country, Harry Reid is running the Senate and Mr. Ed is running the State Department, I’ll share an email I received the other day. It was a photo of Obama speaking at a podium, announcing: “It is finally time for me to talk about the beheading. So, my fellow Americans, I now be heading to the golf course.”

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Monday, September 8, 2014

The Extremely Uncivil War

When I see that even now a great many Americans feel it’s their duty to parrot the lie that most Muslims are peace-loving people, I find myself wondering how many times these yokels have purchased the Brooklyn Bridge.

Nobody, after all, would suggest that every single Muslim in the world dances a jig each time jihadists tunnel into Israel with the aim of kidnapping and killing women and children or that they all celebrated the recent beheading of James Foley. But what proof do we have that they don’t? When you realize that Muslims in the west have never stopped donating to Islamic terrorist groups or stopped joining their ranks, why shouldn’t we suspect the worst of them?

I have been writing for years that people who claim to see an iota of difference between Nazism and Islam are fooling themselves, and the basis for their delusion is that they have been raised to regard one as a nationalist movement (profane) and the other as a religion (sacred). But in each case, they were a vile concoction of both, and both have sought world domination. Each boasted a bible (“Mein Kampf” in one case, the Koran in the other), and each was inspired by a loathsome degenerate (Hitler in one case, Mohammad in the other).

Speaking of Islam, I think it’s worth noting that the American-born Douglas McCain, who was killed while fighting on the side of ISIS, and the British-born Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, who apparently beheaded journalist James Foley, had both been rappers in their home country. Being a rap artist is not generally on the resume of those devoted to a cause that frowns on music, but I suppose you’d have to stretch the definition of music to its breaking point in order to include rap.

I knew that the difference between rap and crap is just one tiny letter, and that only illiterates would regard its lyrics as poetry. I also knew that it had the power to rot minds and destroy brain cells by the millions, but until Bary and McCain came along, I hadn’t realized that it could also lay waste to human souls.

What does it say about Islam that people born and raised in the nations that could boast of heritages that included Washington, Madison, Jefferson, Shakespeare, Dickens and Churchill, could produce such monsters? The silver lining is that McCain is dead and Bary very likely will soon join him. Then they can rap to their heart’s content for all eternity, competing to come up with new rhymes for “burning,” “fire,” “brimstone” and “Hades.”

Closer to home, we have our own problems. One of them is that we have an administration that saw fit to send three White House representatives to the memorial service for street thug Michael Brown, but not one person to the memorial for James Foley. But why would they? After all, they not only banished the bust of Winston Churchill from the Oval Office, but snubbed the funeral service for Margaret Thatcher.

I was recently reminded that Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize even before he had time to move into the White House and unpack his autographed copy of Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals.” So far as the goofballs in Oslo were concerned, it was enough that he was a man of color and a left-winger who had defeated a Republican in a presidential election.

Some people were shocked that a man whose most memorable accomplishments as a state senator and a member of the U.S. Senate was setting records for voting “Present,” but not I. I felt he was every bit as deserving as such earlier recipients as Jimmy Carter, Al Gore and Yasser Arafat. The fact is the easiest way in the world to tell if someone is a jerk is to find that he’s picked up a Nobel Peace Prize along the way. One can pretty much tell what Swedes think of Norwegians when you realize that the Peace Prize is the one they farmed out to them, while retaining Literature, Chemistry, Economics, Medicine and Physics, for themselves.

The sad truth is that the Norwegians always hand the Peace Prize to left-wing presidents, prime ministers, diplomats and high-sounding organizations, but the ingrates never gave it to the RAF or the U.S. military or to anyone, for that matter, who risked life and limb to rescue them from Nazi domination.

Even though Rand Paul is eager to cast himself as a clear-eyed realist and Hillary Clinton as a war hawk, my own take on the matter is that he’s a pinheaded isolationist who would have America remove itself from the world stage and allow the likes of Iran, Russia, ISIS, China and North Korea, to vie for world supremacy.

As for Mrs. Clinton, why would anyone believe anything she says about national defense? After all, not only is her contempt for the military legendary, but she now confesses that the only reason she supported the surge in Afghanistan was because her primary opponent in 2008 was opposed to it, and so, for purely political reasons, she felt it imperative to differentiate herself from Barack Obama.

Finally, I recently saw a 1994 movie on TV. It was “Corrina, Corrina,” and it starred Ray Liotta as the father of a young daughter who has just lost his wife, and Whoopi Goldberg as a housekeeper who fortuitously enters their lives.

The only reason the movie is worth mentioning is because at one point, Goldberg tells the seven-year-old girl that an angel took her mother to heaven. This enrages Liotta, who is a proud atheist. When his daughter asks him why he became angry, he tells her that talk about heaven and angels is the stuff that people tell each other to make them feel better. When she then says, “What’s wrong with that?” he has no answer.

Whenever I would hear professional atheists such as the late Christopher Hitchens debating such matters, my response was a big yawn. I mean, if a belief system gives people comfort at the very worst times in their lives and, oh by the way, helps to keep them morally centered, what is the downside?

Besides, it’s not something that Hitchens was in any position to debunk. In fact, once you got past the English accent and the polysyllabically-infested put-downs of Christians, it all came down to a way to pay for his booze and cigars.

In the final analysis, when it comes to deciding between doubters and believers, it can simply be a matter of aligning oneself with one group or the other. In other words, would you prefer to march into battle shoulder-to-shoulder with C.S. Lewis, Shakespeare, Bach, Voltaire, Descartes, Thomas Aquinas and G.K. Chesterton or join forces with such notable atheists as Brad Pitt, Mick Jagger, Jodie Foster, Jesse Ventura, Lance Armstrong, Howard Stern and Bill Maher?

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Friday, September 5, 2014

War & Peace

I used to think that the only way the various factions in the world would ever unite is if earth were being attacked by alien life forms from outer space. No longer do I believe that even a Martian army could do the trick. I’m not even convinced that such an invasion would unite Americans, let alone Russians and Ukrainians, Israelis and Palestinians or Muslims and civilized people.

Americans are so divided that conservatives and liberals can’t even agree that the butchers in ISIS should be confronted and exterminated. But, then, we Americans have a history of ostrich-like isolationism. There were tens of millions who saw no good reason to go to war with Nazi Germany even after Hitler had spent over three years gobbling up our allies in Europe and obliterating the Jewish population. If we hadn’t been attacked at Pearl Harbor, which led FDR to declare war on Japan, which, in turn, led Germany to declare war on us, today all of Europe not ruled by Russia would probably be under the Nazi boot.

The only wars that liberals care about are those they invent; namely those they insist conservatives are waging on women, gays and blacks, and, of course, the crusade they incessantly wage against conservatives.

One of the problems with this particular crusade is that the casting is lousy and the mission has little or nothing to do with the truth. In the case of Ferguson, MO, the fact is that most of those who were looting and burning and battling the cops were out-of-towners, even out-of-staters like Al (“Show me the money and the TV cameras”) Sharpton, who had no history with the Ferguson Police Department, and therefore no legitimate grievance.

There is also the matter of these black martyrs. It’s one thing to say that Martin Luther King, Jr., was an innocent victim. But Rodney King, O.J. Simpson, Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown, were by no stretch of the imagination innocent. And only those with a racist agenda would claim otherwise.

Another aspect of this war that the Sharptons of the world choose to ignore is that of the 2,720 most recent black murder victims, 2,459 were killed by fellow blacks. So the war is certainly real enough, but those waging it don’t happen to be white cops or white civilians.

In fact, I’m reminded of Matthew Shepard, whose murder was used by gay activists to dramatize the worst excesses of what they came to label homophobia. In their well-publicized narrative, young Mr. Shepard was murdered by two gay-bashing thugs. What wasn’t mentioned or even alluded to was that he and his two killers were all involved with the use and sale of illegal drugs, and one of the killers, Aaron McKinney, far from being a gay-basher, was himself a homosexual who had been sexually involved with Shepard.

There is yet another undeclared war taking place. It’s the one that pits Obama and the liberals against America’s middle class by increasing the welfare rolls. As of 2012, 109 million Americans were collecting welfare in one form or another. Back then, that was 35.4% of the population, but both numbers have since increased. That means that 64.6% of us are helping to feed, clothe and house, people we don’t know, who aren’t related to us and who never even send us a Christmas card. That’s probably just as well, as we’d be stuck paying for those cards. Still, to help drive the message home, the next time you’re taking a walk, look around. If you see three people, chances are you’re supporting one of them.

I haven’t remarked on the passing of Robin Williams. I never met him, so I have nothing of a personal nature to share. But there is one aspect to his death that I think calls for a comment. We have all heard that he suffered from depression, which has led many people to wonder how it is that anyone as famous, wealthy and well-liked as Mr. Williams, could possibly be depressed.

I believe the problem is that “depression” has come to describe two seemingly similar states of mind that in fact are as different as dusk and dawn. We have all at one time or another experienced depression. We’ve all lost a spouse, a friend, a parent, a job, even a pet, and for a time we’ve found ourselves unable to cope with day-to-day life.

We have had our heads bombarded with endless questions. Why get out of bed? Why get dressed? Why bother leaving the house? But in time, we are able to move on. Time may not heal all wounds, but time allows the open wound to develop a scab, and the light of our life slowly begins to brighten.

But the depression that plagued Robin Williams wasn’t the sort that was caused by external events. Not even the early onset of Parkinson’s could explain why he sought what has been called a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No outsider could look at his life, sigh sadly, and say, “Well, it’s no wonder the poor soul preferred death to life.”

It would be as if instead of calling cancer cancer, we called it the flu or arthritis.

I think the disease that afflicted Robin Williams needs to be renamed, so that those who suffer from its savagery aren’t dismissed as mere weaklings or cowards.

To live with the cruel and unrelenting illness for as long as Robin Williams somehow managed to do, and to make it all the way to 63, actually requires the sort of perseverance that in other circumstances often merits a medal, the key to the city or even a statue in the park.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

"A Few Odds & Ends" and "Ferguson, Foley & Folly"

Some people continue to assert that Richard Nixon was a very good president. Even if you overlook Watergate, which I am willing to do because I regarded it as an act of political stupidity, not really a threat to America, I don’t see that he scored any great accomplishments. Some point out that he opened the door to China, a door he had helped slam shut in the first place. But four decades later, China remains an enemy to us and a threat to our allies in Southeast Asia. In the meantime, we boost their economy enormously by buying their shoddy goods and their toxic dog food.

One lasting legacy of Nixon is the Endangered Species Act, a piece of legislation that provides the government absolute power over land use. The law is less about saving endangered animals and insects and more about the feds doing the dirty work on behalf of outfits like the Sierra Club. The fact is that 99% of all the species that have ever existed on earth are now extinct, thanks to Mother Nature performing very late-term abortions on millions of her offspring. And I, for one, will frankly admit that I’m overjoyed that dinosaurs, pterodactyls and sabre-tooth tigers, aren’t hanging around outside, just waiting to pick us off as we race down the driveway to get our newspaper.

According to the arrogant elitists, the only species that should be made extinct are landowners, developers, loggers, miners, farmers and any other good-for-nothing trying to make a living in this country, except, of course, for forest rangers, ecology professors, Al Gore and beekeepers.

When it comes to someone like Michael Brown, who was 6’4,” weighed 300 pounds and felt entitled to rob a convenience store and manhandle the clerk, referring to him as unarmed is stretching the truth beyond the breaking point.

Moreover, one should never criticize cops for donning helmets and flak jackets when thugs are firing guns and tossing Molotov cocktails at them. A war zone is a war zone, whether it’s in Fallujah, Iraq, or Ferguson, Missouri.

Everyone in the Middle East – and by everyone I’m including Syria, Iran and the Islamic State – regards Israel and the United States to be friends and allies. Too bad that Barack Obama and John Kerry don’t appear to see it that way.

Even when it comes to the Muslims who are beheading their enemies and abducting women to serve as sex slaves in Iraq, Obama says he wants a solution “that has no victors and no vanquished.” Has anyone considered giving this namby-pamby regular injections of testosterone?

It goes without saying that when people say that Obama throws like a girl, they’re not talking about 13-year-old Mo’ne Davis. Not only did she pitch a shutout in the Little League World Series, but showed real class when, embarrassed that so much attention was being focused on her, pointed out that baseball is a team sport and that she doesn’t play all nine positions and bat in all nine slots in the lineup. Too bad that the guy in the White House who took the lion’s share of the credit for executing Osama bin Laden lacks her maturity and graciousness.

As you may have heard, Hillary Clinton ridiculed Obama’s foreign policy. She pointed out that “Don’t do stupid stuff” is a slogan, not a strategy. And in Obama’s case, it doesn’t even come close to being true. All he has done since taking the reins as the commander-in-chief has been stupid stuff; stuff that has included, but is unfortunately not limited to, going back on our promise to provide Poland and the Czech Republic with missile defense systems; pushing the re-set button with Putin; refusing to promote the revolt against Assad in Syria; limiting our support of Ukraine to sending them MREs (meals ready to eat); and failing to arm the Kurds.

The problem for Mrs. Clinton is that all of those things happened under her watch as secretary of state. She can claim in her defense that she disagreed with many of Obama’s decisions, but that would mean that she hung on to the job because she felt a greater loyalty to him than she did to America. That, I would suggest, is an even worse campaign motto than “Hope and Change.”

On the other hand, Obama, who once gave Brazil two billion dollars in order to help that nation conduct off-shore oil drilling, just gave Ukraine $400,000 to erect a border fence between it and Crimea. If you’re a liberal, it seems you must never question why your president does things on behalf of foreign nations that he’d never do for America.

The administration keeps talking about having restored nearly all the jobs that went missing six years ago. What they fail to mention is that the jobs that were lost paid an average of $61,000-a-year; the new ones pay on average $47,000.

A recent poll asked people with which royal couple they would prefer to spend their summer vacation. The Clintons received 42% of the vote; the Obamas garnered 25%; while 27% voted for Neither. What the poll failed to disclose, as Edward Klein makes clear in his book, “Blood Feud,” is that neither Bill and Hillary nor Barack and Michelle, really care to spend their vacations together And I, for one, don’t blame any of them.

Speaking of Bill Clinton, in another poll, one seeking to determine the Most Popular World Figure, he wound up in a dead heat with Pope Francis. It’s one of those times when I think both men are equally entitled to feel insulted.

Finally, when you realize what the IRS, the FBI, the Patent Office and the Justice Department have been up to, and then factor in the trumped-up cases against Scott Walker and Rick Perry, it appears that America is turning into one big Chicago.

Sad to say, but we are well on our way to becoming a banana republic in every respect except, of course, that we don’t grow bananas.


It’s a shame that the first time most of us ever heard of Ferguson, a St. Louis suburb with a population of 21,000, it was as the site of a race riot. It’s a shame because most of the actual villains are uninvited outsiders, consisting of race hustlers, ne’er-do-wells, journalists and Eric Holder.

A question that occurs to me is the same one that came to mind when all those kids from Central America showed up in Texas. Where did they come up with the money for the trip? Most of those arrested for rioting and looting in Ferguson have come there from New York, California and a lot of places in between. Are we supposed to believe they all hitchhiked? Certainly even these creeps aren’t stupid enough to spend good money getting there simply in order to make off with a few bottles of hooch and a few cartons of smokes. So, who the heck paid their way?

Another question that keeps kicking around in my head is why it is that every time some black community goes up in flames, the match is invariably some worthless thug, whether his name is Rodney King, O.J. Simpson, Trayvon Martin or Michael Brown.

Moreover, for decades now we have all been told that being called a boy is very nearly the worst thing you can call any black male, so that even black 13-year-olds expect to be referred to as young men. However, let some hulking brute like Martin or Brown wind up that rare victim who isn’t gunned down by a fellow black, and the media will invariably refer to them as boys and illustrate the news accounts with baby pictures of the young hoodlums.

As if it isn’t bad enough that Missouri’s Governor Jay Nixon and Attorney General Eric Holder have already found Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson guilty of cold-blooded murder, and deserving of a lynching, it now appears that Amnesty International has shown up in force, having decided that what took place in Ferguson was a greater threat to humanity than what’s taking place in North Korea, China, Ukraine, Gaza, Syria or Iraq. It’s somehow reassuring when those who assume the moral high ground as their birthright behave exactly the way sane people assume pinheads will behave.

It’s bad enough having to listen to the lies and rationalizations of liberal politicians, along with the usual parrots perched in the Amen Corner -- Al Sharpton, Juan Williams and Spike Lee -- blaming black poverty, ignorance and violence, on white society, but after decades of welfare, affirmative action, minority-based business loans and Operation Head Start, it’s insufferable having to listen to such bilge from a black president and a black attorney general.

Throughout our history, people have come to America without a dollar in their pockets, speaking a variety of foreign languages, and made something not only of themselves, but given birth to children and grandchildren who made of America what the Founders imagined America could be. But as a group, only the black underclass has decided that the good life consists of receiving welfare and committing crimes. Tragically, the notion of getting an education, getting a job and getting married prior to having children, is dismissed as “acting white.”

All of that would be bad enough without liberal journalists and politicians defending that self-destructive attitude, and labeling as racist anyone who points out that white racism never seems to hold back Asians or even black immigrants hailing from Africa or the Caribbean.

Even Barack Obama, who insisted on calling the jihadist massacre at Fort Hood “workplace violence,” has managed to use the word “terrorism” in connection to the gruesome beheading of James Foley by a Muslim in Iraq. As you will recall, years earlier, another American journalist, Daniel Pearl, endured the same hideous fate.

The inhuman savagery of these acts highlights how imperative it is that we exterminate our sworn enemies in the Middle East, and not merely settle for holding actions and meaningless ceasefires. In a word, you don’t treat cancer with an aspirin.

As vile as the Nazis were, even they tried to conceal the worst of their disgusting atrocities. They didn’t immortalize the gas ovens in homemade videos or feature Dr.Mengele’s nightmarish operations in German newsreels.

The tragic, but inescapable fact of the matter is that Islam is the sort of religion that reptiles and swine would invent if they went in for that sort of thing.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?