Monday, February 23, 2015

"I'm As Mad As Hell" and "When Harry Met Barack"

It's been 39 years since the movie “Network” was released and we were all introduced to Howard Beale, the half-crazed TV anchorman created by Paddy Chayefsky and portrayed by Peter Finch. It was he who urged his audience to get off their couches, walk to the window, open it and scream: “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

These days, network anchormen either lie about the news or about their personal exploits, occasionally doing both simultaneously, but they never offer such sound advice as Mr. Beale.

Frankly, I don’t know how any sentient human being can look around and not feel the obligation, or at least the natural urge, to start screaming. For instance, the Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh (pronounced Jay) Johnson, yet another of Obama’s endless supply of black, butt-kissing, supplicants, recently declared that conservative Americans are the real threat to American society, not Islamic fundamentalists.

When you start adding up the number of inept and racist blacks that Obama has brought along in his wake, a crew that includes Secretary Johnson, Eric Holder, Valerie Jarrett, Al Sharpton and Loretta Lynch, you begin to understand why a majority of whites and blacks are experiencing racial hostilities that had all but disappeared over the past few decades.

When liberals aren’t being deliberately offensive to conservatives, they’re just plain goofy. Take Joe Biden…please. Recently, in order to show the folks in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota, that they’re not the only cities that have rolled out the red carpet for Muslims, Biden bragged that in his own hometown, Wilmington, Delaware, there is a large community of Somalis. In fact, he went on, “I’m good friends with a number of Somali taxi drivers. And I’m not being solicitous, I’m being sincere.”

It goes without saying that whenever the Vice President ventures into the exotic world of multi-syllabic words, he’s going to trip over his own tongue. Okay, so “solicitous” doesn’t mean what he seems to think it means. The far more embarrassing mistake is that in the entire city of Wilmington (population 71,000), there are fewer than 10 Somalis, and not one of them is driving a cab.

But at least we know why Biden is gainfully employed and is not driving a taxi. It’s because he was supposed to supply the ticket in 2008 with the experience in foreign affairs that Obama lacked, except as Charles Krauthammer correctly pointed out at the time: “Biden has over 30 years of Senate experience when it comes to foreign policy, but he’s been wrong on every single issue.”

No doubt many of you have wondered why Marie Harf is employed as a spokesperson for the State Department. After all, she doesn’t seem terribly bright and she sounds as if she’s channeling a Valley Girl of the 70s. An explanation may be found in the title of her Indiana University honors thesis: “On How Conservative Evangelical Support for Israel Complicates U.S. Foreign Policy.” It is, you can see, a paper that Barack Obama could have written if he wasn’t so darn busy playing golf and prostrating himself to Islamic terrorists.

I am hoping that Mitch McConnell will take advantage of the gift that Harry Reid provided when he removed the filibuster from the Senate playbook so that Obama could appoint liberal flunkies to the National Labor Relations Board and the federal bench.

The truth is that there is nothing sacred about the filibuster, which isn’t even referred to in the Constitution, but is simply a tradition that has outlived whatever purpose it ever had. The fact is that the last meaningful filibuster took place in 1939 and it was delivered by Jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

Speaking of useless encumbrances, I give you Jeb Bush. In case you’re wondering why someone who seeks to be the GOP standard bearer in 2016 would be such a staunch defender of Common Core, the indomitable Michelle Malkin has provided the answer.

It seems, according to Ms. Malkin’s investigation, that Jeb’s group, the grand sounding Foundation for Excellence in Education, is tied to the federally funded testing consortium called PARCC (Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers), which raked in $186 million through Race to the Top to develop nationalized tests aligned to the Common Core program.

Furthermore, one of the Bush Foundation’s major corporate sponsors is Pearson, the multi-billion educational publishing and testing conglomerate. Pearson just happens to have a $250 million contract with Bush’s home state of Florida to design and publish its state tests. And keep in mind that Florida is merely one of Obama’s 57 states.

So no reason to read Jeb’s lips or his mind; just follow the money and you’ll understand why the putz is such a zealot for Common Core. As anyone whose head isn’t buried in the sand or up Obama’s backside knows, Common Core is a left-wing wet dream that will depend on federal funding, the better to indoctrinate your kids, just the way that Saul Alinsky choreographed the silent revolution.

In case you missed it, Brigitte Bardot, 79, is once again being prosecuted in France for blasphemy, a crime otherwise known as speaking the truth about Islam.

The sex kitten of the French cinema of the 1960s dared to say: “I am fed up with being under the thumb of this population which is destroying us, destroying our country.”

Ms. Bardot has already been fined four times in the past and received suspended jail sentences. The idea that even after the Muslims turned Paris into a slaughterhouse, the authorities are still seeking to jail her reminds us once again that the French quickly established the Vichy government in order to work closely with the Nazis. What’s more, they took Gallic pride in exceeding German quotas when it came to rounding up and transporting French Jews to the death camps.

One can only hope that even the nitwits who elected a dedicated socialist, Francois Hollande, to the presidency will decide that this latest persecution of a French icon will finally prove to be a Brigitte too far.

When Harry Met Barack

In the 1989 movie, “When Harry Met Sally,” there is a famous restaurant scene in which Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal) are having lunch when the subject turns to sex, and Sally feels called upon to prove that women can fake orgasms. Harry doesn’t believe it, so Sally starts to moan and groan and thrash around in her chair, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. When the waiter approaches an elderly woman (director Rob Reiner’s mother, Estelle) and asks for her order, she indicates Sally and says, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

That pretty much sums up how I felt when I heard Barack Obama recently claim that the world is getting more peaceful and tolerant, and that Islamic terrorism is basically a hoax trumped up by the media. Or to paraphrase FDR, he would have us believe that we have nothing to fear but Fox News itself.

I gave up cigarettes over 40 years ago, but I might consider taking it up again if I could smoke what the stoner-in-chief is puffing on. While playing down the creeps who have brought the crucifixion out of mothballs, Obama would have us believe that the greatest peril we face is global-warming.

I grew up on movies about scientific geniuses – people like Pasteur, Edison, Wassell, Reed, Ehrlich and the Curies. The way you could tell they were geniuses was that they plowed ahead in spite of the doubters, and the way they tried and failed countless times before eventually proving their theories.

What they did not do was insist that the science was settled and that those who questioned them had evil intentions. What’s more, none of them looked or sounded like Al Gore, who apparently received a “D” in the only college science class he ever took before waking up one day to find himself the world’s greatest climatologist. I guess the Wizard of Oz must have left his PhD on the nightstand.

Moreover, none of the real scientists told lies about melting icebergs and vanishing polar bears. They did not predict that the ocean level would rise 20 feet and they did not label CO2 -- the gas that plant life requires for survival -- a pollutant. And, finally, they did not change the name of the deadly peril from something specific like “global warming” to something as vague and ephemeral as “climate change” as soon as it was discovered that the earth was cooling down.

Another thing they never did was begin referring to carbon dioxide simply as carbon because they were aware that people would associate carbon with the dirty smoke that spews from our car’s exhaust pipe.

Still another clue is that none of them became billionaires as Al Gore has by selling carbon dispensations to ecological sinners, the way the Catholic Church made a fortune of its own in the Middle Ages. In Gore’s case, he sells them to those wealthy loons who feel guilty about living in large homes, driving huge cars and flying hither and thither in private jets, the way the likes of Robert Kennedy, Jr., Michael Moore and Al Gore, do. In fact, Gore is such an inveterate hypocrite, he makes a point of paying for his own carbon footprints, but he pays it to a company he owns, thereby moving his dough from one pocket to another.

The essence of a moral dilemma for wealthy environmentalists is that the polar bears they believe are disappearing because man is melting their natural habitat are the ones who feast on seal pups. As you may recall, these same people used to go nuts over fur traders killing the adorable baby seals for their pelts.

These days, non-scientists are claiming that vaccines don’t really protect kids from life-threatening diseases, but, instead, like something concocted in Dr, Frankenstein’s cellar, make them autistic. In this case, their authority is an ex-Playboy centerfold named Jenny McCarthy, who at least looks better than Al Gore.

However, instead of dismissing it as poppycock, such eager-beaver presidential candidates as Chris Christie and Rand Paul, fearful of losing the flat-headed vote, started yammering about parental rights. While it’s true that those parents who don’t want their children vaccinated are free to home-school them, the fact remains that even the tots who don’t attend public school still socialize with other kids, and attend movies, sporting events and, alas, Disneyland.

As a safety precaution, keeping the unvaccinated out of public schools works about as well as releasing child molesters back into society on the condition that they live at least a thousand feet from a grammar school. Nobody ever seems to question the soundness of the plan even though the kids obviously have to pass by the pervert’s home on their way to school, the market or a playground.

When people point out the harm that Obama has done to America in six years, I think about the harm he has done to our perception of black people. I’m not talking about Michael Brown and the thugs who torched Ferguson or even the ignoramuses at the Grammy Awards who danced with their arms upraised in tribute to young Mr. Brown, who would still be alive if only he had raised his own arms and not charged the police officer like a rhino on steroids.

I’m referring to the college-educated likes of Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch, Susan Rice, Al Sharpton and Valerie Jarrett, who have done so much to make the black brand so toxic in 2015 America.

Although my beef with Fox is generally that far too much time is wasted on the likes of Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel, Kirsten Powers and Alan Colmes, every once in a while Judge Andrew Napolitano, Fox’s go-to guy on legal matters, is the one making my head explode. Recently, while speaking to Megyn Kelly, he let us know that, like Obama, he wants Gitmo shut down.

Not only did he not make a semi-persuasive case for it, but he admitted that he had no idea what should be done with the 150 terrorists who are still there. However, that didn’t stop him from blasting Sen. Tom Cotton who had just told a Pentagon bureaucrat that he wished that the captive jihadists would rot in hell, but short of that he was willing to have them rot in Gitmo. It clearly irked Napolitano, but I suspect that my whole-hearted “Amen!” was merely one of many.

Although I didn’t vote for him, I’m embarrassed that our president claimed that the four people murdered at a kosher market in Paris were “random victims.” Even though their killer, Amedy Coulibay, phoned a TV station from the market to say: “I have 16 hostages and I have killed four of them, and I targeted them because they were Jewish,” it cuts no ice with Obama. Even the fact that the victims were all buried in Israel failed to clue the terminally clueless one.

But, then, I suppose if barbarians screaming “Allah Akbar” before killing Christians doesn’t make them Muslims, there’s no reason that shopping in a kosher market and being interred in Israel would suggest they just might be Jews.

Finally, it seems only fair to ask: If 11 million illegals are, as the Democrats insist, such a boon to our economy, why didn’t they stay home and help the Mexican economy? And, more to the point, how is it that Mexico was so anxious to see these potential entrepreneurs leave, they gave them a boost over the fence?

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?