Monday, March 23, 2015

Sexing & Texting with the Clintons


Joe Biden says really stupid things nearly every time he opens his yap. But that’s small potatoes compared to the crimes and sins of the Clintons. What is truly remarkable about this couple is that, outside of Arkansas, most people had never even heard of them prior to 1992.

Over the course of 23 years, they have been involved in one scandal after another. A short stroll down memory lane will remind us of Whitewater; Filegate; Travelgate; accepting campaign contributions from China; renting out the Lincoln Bedroom to political supporters; a presidential pardon to fugitive Marc Rich; sex scandals involving Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broaddrick, Gennifer Flowers and Monica Lewinsky; a cozy relationship with pedophile Jeffrey Epstein; perjury; impeachment; disbarment; accepting contributions from foreign nations while serving as Secretary of State; covering up the Benghazi massacre; and now ignoring legal and ethical sanctions involving the use of unauthorized email accounts.

By any measure, this adds up to so much more than critical mass that if someone who had been in a coma for the past quarter century had awakened to this laundry list of crimes and misdemeanors, he would be legitimately shocked to learn that not only are the transgressors not in Leavenworth, but one of them is likely to run for president 20 months from now, and will receive upwards of 65 million votes.

The fact that either of these two creeps can appear in public without having to ring a little bell and announce their presence by uttering “Unclean! Unclean!” as was the responsibility of lepers in an earlier day, says nearly as much about us as about them.

Because I have the unnatural ability to see the humor in the midst of disaster, I must confess I managed to get a few laughs out of Hillary’s attempt to justify her position. Imagine a defense based on the fact that her home was protected by the Secret Service. For one thing, the Secret Service has shown itself to be a combination of the Keystone Kops and the Katzenjammer Kids. For another, as even 67-year-old Hillary should know, nobody has to actually break into your house in order to hack your computer.

Speaking of the Secret Service, what’s so confusing about Barack Obama’s apparent complacency when it comes to the incompetence of the agency is that it places his survival – rather than America’s, for once – at risk. I suppose, though, that when you’re convinced you’re God, you don’t lie awake at night, worrying about mere bullets.

Some people have scoffed at the notion that fully 50% of Hillary’s email as Secretary of State was of a personal nature, but not I. After all, during her four years on the job, the only thing she had to brag about was that she had flown more miles than John Glenn and Superman put together. So why wouldn’t I believe she spent more time checking in with the Foundation to find out how much loot they’d raked in that week or chewing the fat with her girlfriends than getting any actual work done? And as Carly Fiorina so pithily pointed out at CPAC, unless you’re the pilot, flying is an activity, not an accomplishment; just like everything else on Hillary’s resume.

Someone sent me a cartoon recently that neatly summed up the current brouhaha by showing Hillary insisting: “I did not have textual relations with that server.”

The good news for the Clintons is that even if Hillary continues to freefall in the polls, they can still run Chelsea, who is already 35 years old, in 2016. That way, the Democrats can still have a female Clinton on the ticket, and one with a lot less baggage.

To Hillary’s credit, although she is only two years younger than her husband, Bill is looking old and downright fragile, while she continues to look like a Sherman tank in a pant suit.

In spite of the Ferguson grand jury and even Eric Holder’s racist Justice Department finding that Officer Darren Wilson did nothing wrong in shooting Michael Brown in self-defense, Al Sharpton and every other black liar in and out of Congress continues to perpetuate the false narrative that young Mr. Brown was the innocent victim of a rogue cop.

So far as I’m concerned, anybody who continues to promote the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” lie should be arrested for the crime of provoking the sort of violence we saw in Ferguson when two white police officers were recently shot during a so-called “peaceful” demonstration.

A slogan that would be more fitting, especially coming from our first black president, would be “Pants Up, Get a Job.”

I am convinced that the reason that Obama and his stooges in Congress voiced such outrage over Tom Cotton’s letter to the Ayatollah Khamenei wasn’t because it allegedly violated protocol, but because it spelled out constitutional limits, which has the same debilitating effect on liberals that kryptonite has on the aforementioned Superman.

Just in case you are unaware that madmen are leading our nation, keep in mind that Obama and Kerry have over the years made more hateful comments about Bibi Netanyahu and Israel than they have about Iran and its Supreme Leader.

What’s nearly as bad is that the one courageous Muslim who has spoken out against Islamic terrorism and the butchers who practice it is the president of Egypt, Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, who has found himself on Obama’s shit list because, of all things, he led a military coup against the Muslim Brotherhood.

But, then, what can you expect from those who turn a blind eye to the part that Iran has played in killing and maiming American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, and who continue to regard Iran, not as a mortal enemy, but, reminiscent of Neville Chamberlin blundering around at Munich, as a golden opportunity.

To me, it just seems terribly unfair that Egypt winds up with a strong leader like el-Sisi calling the shots and we Americans end up with a big sissy.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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