Friday, May 22, 2015

Martial Law Shall Not Prevail

Because we are quickly approaching January 20, 2017, although not quickly enough to suit some of us, the usual paranoia has risen to the surface. I am receiving the very same sort of email I was receiving when the administrations of both Clinton and Bush were winding down.

People are once again alerting me to the news that the next election will not take place because the man in the White House will cobble up a national emergency that requires him to call out the federal troops and deny the American people the opportunity to evict him from the Oval Office.

While I agree that Obama is far more likely to behave that way than either of his predecessors, I really don’t think that Michelle, Valerie Jarrett, Juan Williams, Josh Earnest, Loretta Lynch and the Congressional Black Caucus, are up to the task. What such a coup would require, after all, is that the U.S. military, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the National Guard and, I assume, the police departments around the country to forswear their oaths to defend the Constitution, and for no other reason than to keep a man whom most of them despise in power.

Really, folks? Would anyone who really buys that hooey step forward so that I can also sell them the Brooklyn Bridge? For the first hundred who call in, I will also throw in the Empire State Building, the Holland Tunnel, the Trump Tower, Central Park and Madison Square Garden.

If you are still worried, let me ask you if you believe for even a second that Hillary Clinton would simply stand by and let this pencil-necked pipsqueak deprive her of what she sees as her ultimate destiny? And even if she were willing, can you imagine Bill Clinton allowing a sissy boy to keep him from returning triumphantly to the White House? After all, if he can get $500,000-a-speech just for being married to the Secretary of State, imagine the size of the pay-offs he’d get as First Laddy.

Ever since the 2014 elections, when the pollsters predicted that the GOP would be lucky to pick up five Senate seats in what they promised to be close elections, and the GOP wound up picking up nine without breaking a sweat, I have begun to seriously doubt the validity of polls – and with that, the political objectivity of pollsters. That’s the reason that when English odds makers predicted it would be a nip-and-tuck election between David Cameron’s Conservative Party and Ed Miliband’s Labour Party, I said: “Hogwash! Cameron and the Conservatives will win in a cakewalk.” And so they did.

And, no, I did not misspell Labor. That’s the way they spell things in England. Apparently in the distant past, possibly during the reign of Henry VIII, the English accumulated a treasure trove of “u’s” and they’ve been trying to use them up ever since.

Speaking of spelling, in the hope of promoting literacy, the Berkeley, CA, library system decided to manufacture and distribute buttons reading “”I Have a Berkeley Library Card.” But, naturally, because Berkeley has more idiots per square foot than any other municipality in the United States, they spelled it “Berkley” on the buttons.

In the never-ending debate over entitlement reform in America, the Left continues to abuse the language. Even liberals should be able to distinguish between entitlements and gifts bestowed on parasites at the expense of the productive. So, in the future, let us no longer lump Social Security and Veterans Benefits--money actually earned through hard work and sacrifice by the recipients--and the bribes doled out to those who neither work nor sacrifice by political vermin trolling for votes with our tax dollars.

Recently, a reader called out the likes of Al Gore, Michael Moore, George Clooney, Barack Obama, Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Sharpton and Robert Kennedy, Jr., who all push for climate control legislation, by preying upon the unwarranted fears of the dumb, the young and the gullible, but who, themselves, all live in mansions and get around in limousines and private jets.

I heartily agreed that these prominent hypocrites should be held up for scorn and ridicule. I would like to say that only in America could such a collection of loons and goons achieve such fame and fortune, but in my heart I know that’s not true.

In Europe, as well, mere celebrity gives all sorts of ignoramuses the authority to deliver pronouncements with great assurance on things about which they know absolutely nothing.

For the past 70 years, what passes for western civilization has been seemingly addicted to stupidity pills. It not only resulted in shrinking their brains, but caused their spines to disappear entirely. That is why here in the West, ignorance and moral cowardice among the elite constitute the new normal.

Unfortunately, what’s taking place simultaneously in the Middle East and North Africa--no doubt in direct response to the West’s decline--is that the barbarians who bow down to Mecca when not burning, beheading and crucifying Christians and Jews, are once again on the march, looking to subjugate or kill the rest of us. And that, considering 1400 years of Islamic history, marks a return to the old normal.

Finally, even though I haven’t been asked by Jeb Bush’s team to do so, I have come up with a campaign slogan: “Vote for the man who believes that being wrong about Common Core and immigration is a conservative virtue!”

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?