Wednesday, July 22, 2015

"Lincoln, Obama & Other Villains" and "The Fibber-in-Chief"

Barack Obama has declared that the best way to defeat ISIS is not with guns, but by coming up with better ideas. I beg to differ. If you’re ISIS and looking to terrify your enemies and trying to convert sadists to your mission, you’d be hard-pressed to come up with a better idea than beheading, burning and crucifying, the opposition.

As for Obama, this is the same knucklehead who came up with Cash for Clunkers, Operation Fast & Furious, pushing the reset button with Russia, negotiating with Iran and the Affordable Care Act. If these are the best ideas he can come up with, we really do need to give guns a shot, as it were.

Another of Obama’s brainstorms was to deplete our Army from 570,000 in 2010 to 490,000 in 2014 and now all the way down to 450,000. I suppose this is Obama’s way of letting us know that in spite of what’s happening in Iran, Syria, Iraq, Ukraine, North Korea and China, we’re safer than ever under his watch.

I don’t know how everyone else feels about it, but I never again want to hear anyone, but especially not a Republican, refer to “comprehensive immigration reform.” The Democrats promised Reagan that in exchange for his signing the amnesty bill in 1986, they would shut down the border.

Naturally, they failed to keep their word. And thanks to a lousy economy, they can now insist that there is barely a trickle of illegals sneaking across the border. But without shutting it down once and for all, once the economy turns around, the trickle will once again turn into a flood.

Until the border is shut down so tightly that not even a Mexican mouse can make it across, everything said on the subject is just an excuse to troll for votes, not to safeguard the nation’s sovereignty.

Speaking of which, if the United States is such a terrible place where every white person is a racist until proven otherwise and every cop is a thug, why do urban blacks continue to hang around? After all, Latin Americans trek hundreds, even thousands of miles, to get here. But all those long-suffering blacks refuse to even consider moving to Canada.

I’m not telling them to leave, you understand, but if I lived in a country that treated me as badly as people like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, Eric Holder and Marilyn Mosby, insist is the case, I know I wouldn’t stick around any longer than it would take me to pack.

Even in the wake of Kate Steinle’s being shot to death by Francisco Chavez, who could easily be the poster boy for illegal alien felons, San Francisco continues to take pride in its status as a sanctuary city. In the meantime, conservative groups continue to display their own lack of conviction by failing to announce they’ve decided to hold their conferences and conventions elsewhere. Why is it that only liberals ever decide to show their pique through the peaceful, but very effective, means of a boycott?

One fascinating aspect of Chavez shooting Ms. Steinle is that, aside from the multitude of times blacks have gunned down other blacks in places like Chicago, Detroit and Baltimore, it marks the very first time that someone has been shot in America and Obama has not called for stricter gun laws.

It’s bad enough that Barack Obama has decided not to prosecute drug crimes, but what imbecile decided that the best way to punish criminals is to deport them to Mexico? Mr. Chavez had already been deported five times. But when your border consists of some invisible line in the sand or the Rio Grande, such a sentence carries the same weight as giving a seven-year-old who’s been acting up a time-out in his bedroom. At most, it’s a temporary inconvenience.

If it were up to me, I would jail the likes of Mr. Chavez and I would charge Mexico for his upkeep. I wouldn’t send El Presidente a bill, which he would simply ignore. Instead, I would deduct it from the foreign aid we send Mexico every year. In addition, I would prevent Western Union and American banks from transferring funds from people in the States to their relatives south of the border.

I have a feeling that in very short order, Mexico would be busy building a wall of its own at the border.

In the wake of a piece I wrote calling for an end to “Innocent by reason of insanity,” a judgment that serves no other purpose than to treat some murderers, rapists and child molesters, more leniently than others, someone suggested changing it to “Guilty by reason of insanity.” But, as I wrote back, that doesn’t serve any real purpose. Guilty is guilty, and once you begin modifying it, you wind up in a swamp, up to your neck in linguistic swill like “hate crimes” and “social justice.”

Recently, while watching Hillary Clinton being tossed softballs by some liberal lobber on CNN, it occurred to me that in spite of having had decades of practice, Mrs. Clinton remains a really terrible liar. In poker circles, a “tell” is the subconscious sign that a player is trying to run a bluff. In Hillary Clinton’s case, the tipoff is that she opens her eyes very wide, trying to mimic sincerity, and speaks more emphatically than usual. The other “tell,” of course, is that her lips are moving.

The NY Times decided to leave Ted Cruz’s book, “A Time for Truth,” off its list of best sellers, although it out-sold other books that made the list. When questioned, the Times explained that their criteria take more than actual sales into account. Perhaps, that being the case, they could change the title of the section to “Best Sellers Written by People with Whose Politics We Happen to Be in Accord.”

When I recently wrote my low opinion of Abe Lincoln, stating that, having been responsible for the deaths of 750,000 Americans, his nickname shouldn’t have been “Honest Abe,” it should have been “Bloody Abe,” I expected some readers to spring to his defense. Instead, I heard from about a dozen people who agreed with me. That should teach me to never underestimate my readers.

They all acknowledged that his primary concern wasn’t the abolition of slavery, but the preservation of the Union, whatever the cost in other people’s lives.

But as it took the deaths of 750,000 young Americans, a number representing nearly three percent of the total population, I believe that only a Stalin, a Hitler or a Mao, would argue that preservation was worth the cost.

To me, the South’s desire to secede is like a wife who wants a divorce. But instead of granting it, the brutal husband beats her to within an inch of her life, turning her into an invalid, and, for good measure, murders most of their kids.

In the aftermath, making it even worse, historians and other assorted pinheads have gone around saying what a great guy he was.

Finally, Bruce Jenner is facing a lawsuit because his reckless driving on Pacific Coast Highway resulted in the death of another driver. I understand he’s come up with a novel defense, blaming it all on Caitlyn, insisting: “Everyone knows women are terrible drivers!”

The Fibber-in-Chief

Barack Obama tells us that the deal he has struck with Iran will prevent a nuclear arms race in the Middle East. But does he really expect us to believe that Turkey and Saudi Arabia are about to trust a piece of paper drawn up by John Kerry and Mohammad Javad Zarif to keep them safe? Inasmuch as most Americans don’t, why on earth would they?

Obama also told us that the only alternative to the deal is war. That’s no truer than his first statement. Additional sanctions were a good second step. And if that didn’t work, going to war should never be off the table when negotiating with an enemy that has been killing Americans and our allies through their terrorist proxies in Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen and Gaza. But if war is inevitable, and one would reasonably expect that the U.S. and the number one sponsor of Islamic terrorism in the world, will eventually butt heads, it should be waged on our timetable, not theirs.

Obama pretends that we need to be chummy with the Ayatollah because we require Iran’s help in defeating ISIS. The day the U.S. military can’t wipe out 40,000 schmucks riding around in trucks is the day we have to start worrying about being invaded by Canada.

But, then, one should never expect honesty from Chicago’s favorite son. After all, even David Axelrod, when asked about Obama’s evolution on same-sex marriages admitted that, for political purposes, Obama had simply lied in 2008 when he said he opposed them.

It wasn’t that long ago that Obama stared down Gov. Jan Brewer, telling her that Arizona had no right to enforce immigration policies that ran counter to federal law. But, today, there are hundreds of cities -- among them San Francisco, L.A., Chicago, New York, San Diego, Philadelphia, Salt Lake and Washington, D.C. -- that have declared themselves to be sanctuaries for illegal aliens, and Obama has nothing but praise for these scofflaw municipalities.

He reminds me of those other liberal elitists, who either go childless or pass their offspring off to nannies to be raised, but behave like permissive parents when it comes to urban blacks, constantly turning a blind eye to their crimes and overall viciousness, while rationalizing and often even encouraging their boorish behavior.

Marty Lave recently wrote to me, pointing out that if liberals are in a dither about the confederate flag symbolizing slavery and the Washington Redskins symbolizing racism, shouldn’t there be a movement to make Loretta Lynch change her moniker? I agree that there is something off-putting about our number one law officer being named Lynch. Perhaps, if asked nicely, she’d consider changing it to Holder. After all, she and the former Attorney General already have so much in common, why not a last name?

Sometimes I feel as if I’ve been invited to a party at which I not only dislike the other guests, but detest the host and hostess. The party I have in mind is the one taking place in our nation’s capital, hosted by the Obamas. And while I can’t blame the presence of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Dick Durbin, Patrick Leahy, Maxine Waters, Alan Grayson and Luis Guiterrez, on Barack and Michelle, I can definitely lay the vile likes of Eric Holder, Lois Lerner, Jeh Johnson, John Kerry, Joe Biden, Valerie Jarrett, John Koskinen and Jonathan Gruber, at their doorstep.

And that, my friends, is what Democrats call a party.

I recently pointed out that aside from noticing that her mouth is moving, the surest way to tell when Hillary Clinton is lying is when you notice that she’s widening her eyes and speaking more emphatically than usual. The tipoff with Obama is that he begins a sentence with “Let me be perfectly clear…”

In fact, every time Obama swears he’s leveling with us, it should come with one of those warnings that alert impressionable children not to try this at home.

The best thing about having a loose cannon like Donald Trump in the race, so long as he doesn’t betray the GOP by running as a third party candidate, is that he forces some of his competitors to show their true colors, which, unfortunately, often happens to be yellow.

Some people, including Fox’s Megyn Kelly, have repeatedly pointed out that whereas Obama is always Johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to reaching out to homosexuals who have outed themselves; freaks like Bruce Jenner; and the families of every black criminal who dies as a result of being shot by the police; he has yet to send his condolences to the family of Kathryn Steinle, the young woman recently murdered by an illegal alien in San Francisco. Inasmuch as the victim was white and the killer Hispanic, we should all be grateful that Obama didn’t simply dismiss it as justifiable homicide.

As many of you are aware, next January I will turn 76. That means that if I die any time soon, only people in their 80s and 90s will say I was cut down prematurely or passed away in my prime. It also means that when I wake up in the morning and something aches, my first thought is whether it’s something terminal.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that whenever I go to a Jewish deli, all the male customers and half the women look like me.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?