Monday, July 20, 2015

On Being Jewish & Conservative

It is not as bad being a Jewish conservative as, I would assume, it is to be a black one. Mainly that’s because there are about 30% of Jews who will vote for a Republican, but a mere five percent of blacks who will dare risk antagonizing their friends and relatives.

Also, when a Jew votes for a Republican, other Jews will generally dismiss him as a harmless fool, but they usually won’t refer to him as inauthentic or call him whatever the Jewish equivalent of an Uncle Tom might be.

The thing that tends to confuse Gentiles is that, whereas blacks are thought to possess physical prowess and a sense of rhythm, Jews are stereotyped as being smart or at least, so far as anti-Semites are concerned, sharp and financially cunning.

Having been Jewish for 75 years, my take on it is that although Jews have a patriarchal God, most Jews are not particularly religious. Those who are orthodox in their observance of Judaism are generally the most conservative in their politics.

The homes in which most of us are raised tend to be governed by women. I assume that is why, when it comes to political matters, Jewish men are so often guided by their feelings, rather than by their brains. On the plus side, it helps explain why Jews are so charitable and so concerned with civil rights. On the other hand, it’s the reason that Jewish men find liberalism, which promises to coddle the individual from the cradle to the grave, so alluring.

It’s not a coincidence that the first Jew to make a serious run for the White House is Bernie Sanders, who votes with the Democrats and runs as an Independent, but proudly identifies himself as a Socialist.

For centuries, the Catholic Church targeted Jews, scapegoating them for killing Christ. Inasmuch as Jesus was a Jew and that it was the Romans who crucified him, you might think that one of the early popes might have called the cardinals together and said, “Hey, fellows, let’s think this over.” But I suppose once it was decided to locate the Vatican in Rome, placing the blame where it rightfully belonged didn’t seem like such a hot idea.

Speaking of which, to this day, people still ridicule the Church for charging Galileo with heresy for daring to insist that the earth revolves around the sun, and not the other way around. But today Pope Francis joins with that other eminent man of science, Barack Obama, in proclaiming global warming to be the greatest threat facing mankind, even though even high school students know that CO2 is the stuff that makes plants grow, not the stuff that makes planets die.

The way that the Chicken Littles cluck about the earth heating up, you might picture us being nuked in a microwave. The fact is that the temperature has only increased .8 degrees over the past century. In case you can’t see the little dot in front of the 8, that’s four-fifths of one degree. Moreover, the oceans have risen only 20 centimeters over those same hundred years, just as it has every hundred years for at least the past 500.

This isn’t me talking. It’s Nobel Prize-winning physicist Ivan Giaever, who was one of 70 Nobel Prize laureates who actually supported Obama in 2008, but who now calls Obama’s climate fears “ridiculous.” Dr. Giaever went on to say: “The fact is that over the last hundred years, the temperature has gone up a fraction of a degree and everything has gotten better, not worse. But if it goes up another fraction, they’re saying we’re all going to die. When you have a theory and the theory isn’t borne out by the facts, you have to abandon the theory.”

That’s how science is supposed to work. But not these days, when heresy doesn’t lead to death or exile, but it does lead to a loss of grants, employment and reputation.

This herd instinct has turned a generation of climatologists into liars and poltroons. Their sole mission, it seems, is to promote a hoax hatched by Al Gore and promulgated by everyone, including popes and presidents, with a grudge against capitalism and western civilization. One has to assume that whirring sound you hear is Galileo spinning in his grave.

But, then, nobody should be too surprised by anything Barack Obama says or does. After all, in spite of having little experience in politics or anything else, he won his party’s nomination in 2008 and then went on to be elected twice to the highest office in the land, but nevertheless insists that America’s whites are racist. Considering that white people kept flocking out to vote for the schmuck even after he gave up pretending to be a moderate, it’s possible that when he says “racist,” he really just means dumb.

Obama, having done what he could to destroy our economy and our health care system, isn’t one to rest on his laurels. In order to thwart our ability to support our allies and deter our enemies, he has now decided to cripple the Army by cutting the ranks by 40,000 troops.

Anyone who still doesn’t understand that Obama is doing his very best to destroy this nation has simply stopped paying attention. A two bit hooker wearing a miniskirt and net stockings, swinging a leg while leaning against a lamppost, couldn’t be more blatant about her own intentions.

A recent poll discloses that 35% of Americans and 53% of millennials are seriously considering moving to another country. Might I suggest they consider moving to Mexico in the dead of night? It seems only fair that we try to balance the scales by presenting that country with a hundred million illegal aliens after they’ve given us so much.

Meanwhile, in Germany, a new expression has sprung up: Beware of Greeks bearing IOUs.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?