Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Playing Catch-Up

I know that there is no way I can ever really catch up with the news, but I’m addicted to trying. The problem is that even in the time it will take me to complete this article, eight or nine more things are going to be said or will take place that will make this piece every bit as dated as the Charleston.

For instance, no sooner do I say that I’m glad Donald Trump is sticking around then he turns around and attacks John McCain. Normally, I wouldn’t mind. After all, aside from being an out-spoken foe of Obama’s conciliatory approach to Iran and ISIS, McCain has been a total washout as a senator. In spite of having limited arm movement thanks to five years of torture at the hands of Jane Fonda’s good friends, the North Vietnamese, he has spent the last 30 reaching across the aisle to embrace the likes of Russ Feingold and Ted Kennedy.

Making matters worse, in 2008, by refusing to link Obama to Rev. Wright and his racist church, McCain all but took a dive in the election, ushering in the worst administration in America’s history.

But instead of mentioning any of that, Trump had to let us know that he disapproves of soldiers who suffer the misfortune of being captured by the enemy. It was a totally indecent thing for a man who, himself, avoided the risk of becoming a POW by securing a series of student deferments, to say.

A few minutes later, Trump changed his mind and said that perhaps John McCain had been a hero, after all. I’m surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash.

But that’s the problem with Trump. He rarely seems to fully engage his brain before speaking. It gives people the impression that he only has second thoughts, never those all-important first ones. A similar thing happened when he announced his intention to run, neglecting to specify that the Mexican killers and rapists he was referring to were those who were illegal aliens.

Trump seems to suffer from a weird version of Tourette’s syndrome. But instead of being unable to stop himself from muttering obscenities, he can’t seem to stop insulting his Republican opponents. That’s not to say that some of them don’t have it coming, but it is best left up to people like me and Ann Coulter, who aren’t running for anything, to ridicule them. It is way past time that Trump stopped displaying the same contempt for Reagan’s 11th Commandment that Obama has for our Constitution.

I’m just saying it would make for a nice change if Trump would occasionally say something nasty about Mrs. Clinton or Mr. Obama, instead of constantly supplying their side with talking points. As things stand, I can no longer cut him any slack for contributing to Hillary’s Senate campaigns. How can I keep writing it off to the cost of doing business in New York when the only politicians he seems to despise are Republicans?

Moving on, it is high time that we not only allowed, but insisted, that members of the military carry side arms at recruitment centers and also on base. I understand that some bad apples may occasionally misuse guns, but those, like Major Hasan, are the ones who never seem to have a problem arming themselves.

Besides, how dare Obama deny those brave souls who volunteer to defend our lives the ability to defend their own? As you may have noticed, Obama never voices an objection to him and his family being protected by men with guns.

But, then, this is the same schmuck who has decided that whereas our Marines can’t be trusted with firearms, he’s ready, even eager, to trust Iran with nukes and ballistic missiles.

By this time, I assume we’ve all seen the woman who oversees “medical” services for Planned Parenthood munching on her salad while casually offering a discourse on the best way to dissect an embryo. I suspect that even some abortion activists were revolted by the video, but not, I’m guessing, very many.

The thing that I find truly obnoxious about the Pro-Choice crowd is that they are often the same degenerates who break into a cold sweat over the survival of snail darters, polar bears and delta smelt.

Worse yet, liberals are quick to pull out their crying towels if they suspect that serial killers experience the slightest bit of discomfort while being executed, but are nonchalant when it comes to the Nazi-like butchery performed during a typical abortion.

Liberal lunkheads are always defending Islam by pointing out that no more than 10% of 1.2 billion Muslims are willing to kill in the name of Mohammad. But, one, they never tell you how they arrive at that percentage or, two, why it is they never count the cheerleaders in the mosques and streets of Dearborn and Tehran.

Something else they slide by is that even just one-tenth of 1.2 billion is 120 million people, a number larger than that of any nation in Europe, except for Russia, and nearly as many as the combined populations of England and France.

Speaking of Europe, a reader, Charlie Saucier of Metairie, Louisiana, reminded me that Greece is only one of the four most socialistic nations in Europe that have seen or are about to see their socialist economies take them to the brink of financial disaster. The other three are Portugal, Italy and Spain. Once you stick Greece in the mix, their initials ironically spell out PIGS.

One of the oddities to come out of the sex scandal swirling around Bill Cosby is that during the 70s, he would sometimes go by the name of Seymour Rapaport. It made me wonder if, when he’d hit on a young woman and she’d ask him if he wasn’t the rich and famous actor/comedian, he would say, “No, we resemble each other, but my name is Seymour Rapaport, and I’m a Jewish accountant from Skokie.”

At least that might explain why he had to knock them out with drugs before they’d have sex with him.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?