Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Taking Stock

In the wake of the killings at the AME church, Obama and his fellow Democrats predictably blamed it on the gun rights guaranteed in the Second Amendment, while the Republicans predictably said that legislation must be passed making it easier to commit loons such as Adam Lanza, James Holmes and Dylann Roof, to asylums before they go on a murderous rampage.

The problem is that Democrats are constantly seeking ways to make it harder for law-abiding citizens to get a gun and the ammo to go with it. But the only time you hear a Republican politician mention insane asylums is when the Second Amendment is under attack. Would it kill them to actually push for a change in current laws that make it virtually impossible to commit a crazy person either for his own safety or that of others?

Speaking of young Mr. Roof, where does someone with his slack jaw, his pasty complexion, his pencil neck and his porridge bowl haircut, get off claiming to be a white supremacist? He’s about as impressive a specimen of white manhood as those dithering nebbishes that Don Knotts used to portray.

Speaking of Mr. Knotts, a reader wrote to suggest that the reason that Andy Griffith’s Mayberry was so quiet and peaceful was that nobody was married. He went on to point out that the unwed included Andy, Barney, Aunt Bea, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou and Clara. “In fact,” he concluded, “the only one who was married was Otis, and he was always drunk.”

Never having watched the show, I can’t comment. And because I am married, you can’t make me.

Another reader let me know that a program devoted to celebrating June as “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month” was recently held in Wisconsin. If only this endless infatuation with sex freaks could be converted into something useful such as electricity or mulch!

According to a recent study of Millennials (those born between 1980 and 2000) by Toluna Quicksurveys, 30% typically vote in presidential elections, but 91% intend to vote in 2016. Of that number, 41% are Democrats, 21% are Republicans, 16% call themselves Independents and 22% don’t associate with a political party, which might mean they are closet Republicans.

Of the 1,000 youngsters polled, 40% are most concerned with financial issues, 25% with social issues, while 35% claim they’re equally important. When asked where they are likely to follow the presidential campaign, 72% said TV, 56% said Facebook. That either means that 28% will follow the campaign on both outlets equally, or the folks at Toluna are lousy at math.

A problem for anyone not named Bush or Clinton is that between 49% and 67% of them have never even heard of Scott Walker, Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina, Bernie Sanders, Martin O’Malley or Bobby Jindal.

The most troubling response is that 70% of the females and 30% of the males said it was important to them that the candidate is a woman. I hope and pray that those so-called males were being polled while standing next to a girlfriend they were hoping to impress. But I think it more likely that they come from the ranks of those willowy young fellows who sway while holding lighted candles at rock concerts.

Recently, a reader asked me to comment on the Bilderberg Group. Every so often, I am sent well-meaning messages warning me about its dangerous mission. And I always write back to say there are enough villains in plain sight without worrying about these guys who hold a conference once a year and, as is the case with most conferences, get nothing done.

For those who have never heard of Bilderberg, it’s been around since the 1950s. Once a year, about 150 of them congregate, like sparrows returning to Capistrano, with one-third of them representing the world of politics, and another hundred from various fields.

The fact is that rich guys always like to get together without their wives, smoke cigars, drink brandy and try to impress one another. But, one, I don’t subscribe to international conspiracies. Most influential people only agree with themselves. For another thing, it would mean that the Chinese, the Russians, the Iranians, the French, the Germans, the Brits, the Brazilians, the Japanese and us, would all be involved. Can you imagine that all of these entities would agree about anything, including the menu? No, neither can I.

If you happen to be an alumnus of Drexel University of Philadelphia, might I suggest you not send your alma mater a donation this year? It seems the school has decided to bestow an honorary degree on Noam Chomsky. One can only wonder if it’s because he claimed “America is the source for far worse terrorism than al-Qaeda” or for insisting that “The policies of Hamas are preferable to those of the U.S. and Israel;” or, perhaps, for suggesting that “Israel’s actions in Gaza constituted genocide;” or just maybe it was for declaring “George W. Bush’s crimes far exceeded those of bin Laden.”

I haven’t found much to like or admire about Pope Francis, who would seem more at home being on the faculty of Drexel University than running the Vatican, but I have to admit I got a kick out of his tying his encyclical about the evils of global warming to the evils of abortions. It left a great many liberals tongue-tied just as they were on the verge of promoting His Holiness for a Nobel Peace Prize.

A few people have gotten on my case for not referring to homosexuals as gays. But inasmuch as they’re the ones who introduced “homophobia” rather than “gayphobia” into the language, go complain to them.

Homophobia is a bizarre term in any case. After all, a phobia is an unnatural fear. I don’t happen to know anyone who suffers from that absurd condition. What I do find somewhat bizarre is that it wasn’t all that long ago that the American Psychiatric Association regarded homosexuality as a mental disorder, and now it’s the homosexuals who are insisting it’s heterosexuals who are mentally disturbed.

It’s often been claimed that if everyone visited a stockyard, everyone would be a vegetarian. It’s my contention that if everyone ever viewed an act of sodomy, people would be far less open-minded and accepting of homosexuality.

I recently came across a quote attributed to Mark Twain that struck a chord with me: “The two most important days in your life are the day you’re born and the day you figure out why.”

I believe the “why” in my case is to write honestly in a world filled with people kowtowing to naked emperors.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments?

A copy of "Liberals: America's Termites" has been won by Edward Cowman of Spring Hill, FL. I'll send it out tomorrow!