Friday, February 27, 2015

The Buck Stops Way Over There


Harry Truman, who apparently really didn’t wish to be President, but was thrust by FDR’s death into the job, had a sign on his desk that announced “The Buck Stops Here.” It meant that if you had a problem with his administration, you took it up with him, not one of his underlings.

So, if you didn’t like the fact that dropping two atom bombs on Japan brought World War II to a quick and satisfactory conclusion, your problem wasn’t with Secretary of War Henry Stimson or Secretary of State Edward Stettinius, but with the man who ordered them dropped. It was Truman’s way of saying that if you can’t take the heat, stay the hell out of the Oval Office.

In Barack Obama, we have a man who never takes responsibility when something goes wrong, such as ISIS filling the vacuum he left behind in Iraq, but credit for anything that goes right, such as the execution of Osama bin Laden. When he reported the good news to the world, judging by the number of times he said “I,” “me” and “myself,” you would have thought that, like Brian Williams, he had been the first Navy Seal, guns blazing, into bin Laden’s compound.

I will now confess that I am so bourgeois in my taste when it comes to art that I really only like paintings or pictures that have recognizable people in them. Whereas I understand that some people hate it when their friends bring back snapshots from their trips that show themselves standing in front of the Eiffel Tower or the Taj Mahal, in my case, I prefer to see the friends.

That, no doubt, is why I prefer, say, Rembrandt and Norman Rockwell to Picasso and Pollack.

On the other hand, it might explain why I can never recognize embryos in sonograms or archers, scorpions and crabs, in the evening sky.

Moving on, I hope you all understand that nobody holds the Second Amendment in higher regard than I do. But why on earth did Chris Kyle and Chad Littlefield think it was a good idea to take Eddie Ray Routh to a gun range and stick a loaded gun in his mitts, especially in light of the fact that during the drive to the range, they exchanged text messages agreeing that Routh was obviously a dangerous loon?

I get it that they were two terrific guys who wanted to reach out to a fellow veteran, one suffering from PTSD, and let him know that he wasn’t alone. But was the zoo closed? Were there no bowling alleys in town? Was taking him for a quiet walk and talk in the countryside out of the question? Would playing a game of gin rummy have been in violation of the macho code?

Long before Routh murdered the two Samaritans, I was confounded by the fact that Andrew Tahmooressi, who wound up spending months in a Mexican jail, and had also been diagnosed with PTSD, had set off on a hunting trip with three loaded guns in his truck.

We are repeatedly told that these victims of battle stress can be set off by loud noises, so don’t their friends and loved ones have a responsibility to keep guns out of their hands the same way they would do everything in their power to protect a child?

Speaking of Eddie Ray Routh, why is insanity a legitimate defense against murder? Whether a person kills you because he wants your money or because he hears voices telling him you’re in league with the devil and are trying to steal his eternal soul, you are still dead as a doornail. To me, that simple fact would trump his motive, no matter what it was.

Speaking of which, the lawyers for Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are naturally seeking a change of venue, feeling that he might not be able to find an impartial jury in Boston. To my way of thinking, if he didn’t want to be tried in Boston, he and his brother should have set off explosions somewhere else. Preferably, I’d suggest, in Teheran.

In addition, the Sixth Amendment states, among other things, that "...the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed..."

Defense attorneys will insist that it would be impossible to find an impartial jury in the district where a particularly heinous crime has taken place. Well, it may take a tad longer to find 12 people in the specific area who are genuinely unaware of what's been going on around them, but eventually they'll turn up. And inasmuch as 70 million Americans voted to re-elect Barack Obama, I'm betting it won't take long at all.

There are times when liberals say such silly things when trying to defend their sleazy actions, I’m almost willing to give them a pass because I find their excuses so pathetic and so amusing.

For instance, when Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and her husband were discovered having used her congressional campaign funds to attend the recent Grammy Awards, Rep. Wasserman-Schultz, head of the DNC, announced she just happened to be in L.A. on a fact-finding mission to learn the issues most important to the music industry. And of course, being a congresswoman in Florida, which isn’t all that far away from Nashville, that would be of utmost concern to her.

I expect that the main fact she carried away that evening was that Kanye West didn’t think that Beck David Campbell, who calls himself just plain Beck, should have accepted a Grammy that West was convinced Beyonce deserved. When West ran on stage to make his objection known, Beck, who looks like a combination of Don Knotts and a used mop, must have thought West was after his milk money.

Proving himself to be one Beck that you can judge by its cover, Mr. Campbell quickly assured Mr. West that he, too, thought Beyonce deserved the award.

Once she realized that there were no Republicans involved in the contretemps, Mrs. Wasserman-Schultz saw no reason to take sides, and went home.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Growing Up in California


Shortly after I turned six, my family left Chicago and moved to L.A. Because even at that age, the smell of wet woolens hanging in the kindergarten cloakroom was already a stench I found as unappealing as my mother’s Friday night special, barley soup, I was happy to move to the land of eternal sunshine.

In those days, California was the state that was to be the model for America’s future. Its schools were the best, industry was booming, the San Joaquin Valley produced most of the nation’s fruits and vegetables, Hollywood was still a magnet for the most talented people in the world and Republicans were winning most of the statewide elections.

Over the decades, all of that changed, but it is still a template for much of the nation. The problem now is that the schools are indoctrination centers for the Left; there is no industry; thanks to the environmentalists, the San Joaquin Valley is now the San Joaquin Desert because the water has been cut off from the farmers for the sake of a two-inch inedible fish known as the delta smelt; Hollywood has become a magnet for zombies spewing left-wing talking points; and no Republican can even come close to winning a statewide election.

On top of all that, we now have about 40 million people, many of them here illegally, tying up traffic, overcrowding schools and jails, and pushing up tax rates.

The state legislators, 70% of whom are Democrats, naturally believe that feeding and clothing illegal aliens is more important than jailing criminals and has adopted the fishing technique known as catch-and-release. Only instead of releasing fish too small to catch legally, they’re releasing car thieves, drug dealers and child molesters, by simply declaring certain felonies to be misdemeanors.

In their endless search for ways to decrease the prison population, one fully expects that the next logical step will be to simply decriminalize bank robberies, rapes and homicides.

When you see how casually Obama and Kerry are carrying on negotiations with Iran, refusing to even threaten increased sanctions as a means to apply pressure, one might assume they don’t see any reason to fear a nuclear Islamic theocracy. Pushed for an explanation, they might argue that nuclear bombs have been with us for a long time and so far nobody has dropped one in anger. And when you realize that among the nations that have nuclear bombs – the U.S., the U.K., Russia, France, China, India, Pakistan, Israel and North Korea – four are vile and one, North Korea, is pathological, they might seem to have a point.

However, the reason that none of the nine, however sorely tempted, has done so is out of fear. No matter how Kim Jong-un may feel about South Korea, he’s not about to drop the bomb because he doesn’t want to risk having one dropped on his head. In diplomatic circles, it’s called the nuclear deterrent.

But Iran is a whole different can of worms. Its leaders are as crazy as Kim Jong-un, but it’s a different sort of crazy. Kim Jong-un wants to continue living, if only to keep having Dennis Rodman over to talk basketball. But as we’ve seen after decades of suicide bombings, including 9/11, Islam is not a religion whose practitioners place a great deal of value on life -- their own or anyone else’s.

Perhaps because Obama and Kerry never had reason to learn that you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, they don’t understand that you never let the guy who doesn’t mind dying for his religion, get his hands on a nuclear bomb. As policy, the rule in such a case is that you nuke him first and send a condolence card later.

Because Scott Walker not only stood up to the unions in Wisconsin, but has sprinted to the lead in a great many polls, the Democrats have already begun attacking him. But if the attacks are going to gain any traction with most Americans, they’ll have to do better than point out, as they recently did, that he dropped out of Marquette University before graduating and that his worst subject was French. For some of us, those are two additional reasons to vote for the guy.

Sometimes even I am taken aback at the stupidity of liberals. For instance, how is it that so many of them continue to promote socialism as a way of life? I mean, if it was merely a theory, I can see how it might appeal to some. However, we have not only seen how it inevitably morphs into communism, but we have seen the ugly results in the Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, Cambodia and Cuba. Even in places that started out with socialism, such as China and Israel, the leaders eventually saw the error of their ways and converted to capitalism.

But, then, leftists simply aren’t very bright. Otherwise, they would have asked themselves just how was it possible to provide health care for 40 million uninsured Americans and still manage to save the average family $2,500.

Because I take baseball more seriously than I take a great many other things, I was disgusted when I found out that the Little League baseball team from Chicago had cheated its way to the national title by using out of the district ringers on the team. Furthermore, the fact that the team was named after the great and courageous Jackie Robinson made it even more shameful.

But, as often happens when politicians and the media get involved with any story, it only got worse. I was hearing TV news people and Chicago’s Mayor Rahm Emanuel spinning the story as only they can. The conclusion they came to was that the coaches should have been punished, but it was wrong to take the title away from the kids because they had done nothing wrong.

Of course they had. They had stolen the thrill of honest victory from the teams they had defeated. I can assure you that every single kid was aware of the fact there were players on their team who had no business being there. They knew they had cheated in order to win, and they were just fine with it.

Then, compounding the problem, instead of being chastised for cheating, the grown-ups, including their parents, essentially told them that their only mistake was getting caught. But, then, that’s the same message that San Francisco Giants fans sent Barry Bonds when they cheered him for breaking home records they knew were tainted, and just as fans of the Cubs, Cardinals and Yankees, did when they rooted for Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and Alex Rodriguez.

Finally, when I heard that without warning, Jon Stewart suddenly announced he was leaving his show, my initial thought was that the man who had been born Jonathan Leibowitz had belatedly come to his senses, and decided that he could no longer, in good conscience, spend his life ridiculing conservatives.

But after thinking about it, I realized that he would be leaving his show at Comedy Central at just about the same time that Brian Williams would be ending his six month suspension at NBC. Wouldn’t it make sense that Williams, who regards himself as a born comedian, and Stewart, who takes himself very seriously as a political pundit, would simply swap jobs?

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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Monday, February 23, 2015

"I'm As Mad As Hell" and "When Harry Met Barack"


It's been 39 years since the movie “Network” was released and we were all introduced to Howard Beale, the half-crazed TV anchorman created by Paddy Chayefsky and portrayed by Peter Finch. It was he who urged his audience to get off their couches, walk to the window, open it and scream: “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

These days, network anchormen either lie about the news or about their personal exploits, occasionally doing both simultaneously, but they never offer such sound advice as Mr. Beale.

Frankly, I don’t know how any sentient human being can look around and not feel the obligation, or at least the natural urge, to start screaming. For instance, the Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh (pronounced Jay) Johnson, yet another of Obama’s endless supply of black, butt-kissing, supplicants, recently declared that conservative Americans are the real threat to American society, not Islamic fundamentalists.

When you start adding up the number of inept and racist blacks that Obama has brought along in his wake, a crew that includes Secretary Johnson, Eric Holder, Valerie Jarrett, Al Sharpton and Loretta Lynch, you begin to understand why a majority of whites and blacks are experiencing racial hostilities that had all but disappeared over the past few decades.

When liberals aren’t being deliberately offensive to conservatives, they’re just plain goofy. Take Joe Biden…please. Recently, in order to show the folks in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota, that they’re not the only cities that have rolled out the red carpet for Muslims, Biden bragged that in his own hometown, Wilmington, Delaware, there is a large community of Somalis. In fact, he went on, “I’m good friends with a number of Somali taxi drivers. And I’m not being solicitous, I’m being sincere.”

It goes without saying that whenever the Vice President ventures into the exotic world of multi-syllabic words, he’s going to trip over his own tongue. Okay, so “solicitous” doesn’t mean what he seems to think it means. The far more embarrassing mistake is that in the entire city of Wilmington (population 71,000), there are fewer than 10 Somalis, and not one of them is driving a cab.

But at least we know why Biden is gainfully employed and is not driving a taxi. It’s because he was supposed to supply the ticket in 2008 with the experience in foreign affairs that Obama lacked, except as Charles Krauthammer correctly pointed out at the time: “Biden has over 30 years of Senate experience when it comes to foreign policy, but he’s been wrong on every single issue.”

No doubt many of you have wondered why Marie Harf is employed as a spokesperson for the State Department. After all, she doesn’t seem terribly bright and she sounds as if she’s channeling a Valley Girl of the 70s. An explanation may be found in the title of her Indiana University honors thesis: “On How Conservative Evangelical Support for Israel Complicates U.S. Foreign Policy.” It is, you can see, a paper that Barack Obama could have written if he wasn’t so darn busy playing golf and prostrating himself to Islamic terrorists.

I am hoping that Mitch McConnell will take advantage of the gift that Harry Reid provided when he removed the filibuster from the Senate playbook so that Obama could appoint liberal flunkies to the National Labor Relations Board and the federal bench.

The truth is that there is nothing sacred about the filibuster, which isn’t even referred to in the Constitution, but is simply a tradition that has outlived whatever purpose it ever had. The fact is that the last meaningful filibuster took place in 1939 and it was delivered by Jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

Speaking of useless encumbrances, I give you Jeb Bush. In case you’re wondering why someone who seeks to be the GOP standard bearer in 2016 would be such a staunch defender of Common Core, the indomitable Michelle Malkin has provided the answer.

It seems, according to Ms. Malkin’s investigation, that Jeb’s group, the grand sounding Foundation for Excellence in Education, is tied to the federally funded testing consortium called PARCC (Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers), which raked in $186 million through Race to the Top to develop nationalized tests aligned to the Common Core program.

Furthermore, one of the Bush Foundation’s major corporate sponsors is Pearson, the multi-billion educational publishing and testing conglomerate. Pearson just happens to have a $250 million contract with Bush’s home state of Florida to design and publish its state tests. And keep in mind that Florida is merely one of Obama’s 57 states.

So no reason to read Jeb’s lips or his mind; just follow the money and you’ll understand why the putz is such a zealot for Common Core. As anyone whose head isn’t buried in the sand or up Obama’s backside knows, Common Core is a left-wing wet dream that will depend on federal funding, the better to indoctrinate your kids, just the way that Saul Alinsky choreographed the silent revolution.

In case you missed it, Brigitte Bardot, 79, is once again being prosecuted in France for blasphemy, a crime otherwise known as speaking the truth about Islam.

The sex kitten of the French cinema of the 1960s dared to say: “I am fed up with being under the thumb of this population which is destroying us, destroying our country.”

Ms. Bardot has already been fined four times in the past and received suspended jail sentences. The idea that even after the Muslims turned Paris into a slaughterhouse, the authorities are still seeking to jail her reminds us once again that the French quickly established the Vichy government in order to work closely with the Nazis. What’s more, they took Gallic pride in exceeding German quotas when it came to rounding up and transporting French Jews to the death camps.

One can only hope that even the nitwits who elected a dedicated socialist, Francois Hollande, to the presidency will decide that this latest persecution of a French icon will finally prove to be a Brigitte too far.



When Harry Met Barack



In the 1989 movie, “When Harry Met Sally,” there is a famous restaurant scene in which Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal) are having lunch when the subject turns to sex, and Sally feels called upon to prove that women can fake orgasms. Harry doesn’t believe it, so Sally starts to moan and groan and thrash around in her chair, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. When the waiter approaches an elderly woman (director Rob Reiner’s mother, Estelle) and asks for her order, she indicates Sally and says, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

That pretty much sums up how I felt when I heard Barack Obama recently claim that the world is getting more peaceful and tolerant, and that Islamic terrorism is basically a hoax trumped up by the media. Or to paraphrase FDR, he would have us believe that we have nothing to fear but Fox News itself.

I gave up cigarettes over 40 years ago, but I might consider taking it up again if I could smoke what the stoner-in-chief is puffing on. While playing down the creeps who have brought the crucifixion out of mothballs, Obama would have us believe that the greatest peril we face is global-warming.

I grew up on movies about scientific geniuses – people like Pasteur, Edison, Wassell, Reed, Ehrlich and the Curies. The way you could tell they were geniuses was that they plowed ahead in spite of the doubters, and the way they tried and failed countless times before eventually proving their theories.

What they did not do was insist that the science was settled and that those who questioned them had evil intentions. What’s more, none of them looked or sounded like Al Gore, who apparently received a “D” in the only college science class he ever took before waking up one day to find himself the world’s greatest climatologist. I guess the Wizard of Oz must have left his PhD on the nightstand.

Moreover, none of the real scientists told lies about melting icebergs and vanishing polar bears. They did not predict that the ocean level would rise 20 feet and they did not label CO2 -- the gas that plant life requires for survival -- a pollutant. And, finally, they did not change the name of the deadly peril from something specific like “global warming” to something as vague and ephemeral as “climate change” as soon as it was discovered that the earth was cooling down.

Another thing they never did was begin referring to carbon dioxide simply as carbon because they were aware that people would associate carbon with the dirty smoke that spews from our car’s exhaust pipe.

Still another clue is that none of them became billionaires as Al Gore has by selling carbon dispensations to ecological sinners, the way the Catholic Church made a fortune of its own in the Middle Ages. In Gore’s case, he sells them to those wealthy loons who feel guilty about living in large homes, driving huge cars and flying hither and thither in private jets, the way the likes of Robert Kennedy, Jr., Michael Moore and Al Gore, do. In fact, Gore is such an inveterate hypocrite, he makes a point of paying for his own carbon footprints, but he pays it to a company he owns, thereby moving his dough from one pocket to another.

The essence of a moral dilemma for wealthy environmentalists is that the polar bears they believe are disappearing because man is melting their natural habitat are the ones who feast on seal pups. As you may recall, these same people used to go nuts over fur traders killing the adorable baby seals for their pelts.

These days, non-scientists are claiming that vaccines don’t really protect kids from life-threatening diseases, but, instead, like something concocted in Dr, Frankenstein’s cellar, make them autistic. In this case, their authority is an ex-Playboy centerfold named Jenny McCarthy, who at least looks better than Al Gore.

However, instead of dismissing it as poppycock, such eager-beaver presidential candidates as Chris Christie and Rand Paul, fearful of losing the flat-headed vote, started yammering about parental rights. While it’s true that those parents who don’t want their children vaccinated are free to home-school them, the fact remains that even the tots who don’t attend public school still socialize with other kids, and attend movies, sporting events and, alas, Disneyland.

As a safety precaution, keeping the unvaccinated out of public schools works about as well as releasing child molesters back into society on the condition that they live at least a thousand feet from a grammar school. Nobody ever seems to question the soundness of the plan even though the kids obviously have to pass by the pervert’s home on their way to school, the market or a playground.

When people point out the harm that Obama has done to America in six years, I think about the harm he has done to our perception of black people. I’m not talking about Michael Brown and the thugs who torched Ferguson or even the ignoramuses at the Grammy Awards who danced with their arms upraised in tribute to young Mr. Brown, who would still be alive if only he had raised his own arms and not charged the police officer like a rhino on steroids.

I’m referring to the college-educated likes of Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch, Susan Rice, Al Sharpton and Valerie Jarrett, who have done so much to make the black brand so toxic in 2015 America.

Although my beef with Fox is generally that far too much time is wasted on the likes of Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel, Kirsten Powers and Alan Colmes, every once in a while Judge Andrew Napolitano, Fox’s go-to guy on legal matters, is the one making my head explode. Recently, while speaking to Megyn Kelly, he let us know that, like Obama, he wants Gitmo shut down.

Not only did he not make a semi-persuasive case for it, but he admitted that he had no idea what should be done with the 150 terrorists who are still there. However, that didn’t stop him from blasting Sen. Tom Cotton who had just told a Pentagon bureaucrat that he wished that the captive jihadists would rot in hell, but short of that he was willing to have them rot in Gitmo. It clearly irked Napolitano, but I suspect that my whole-hearted “Amen!” was merely one of many.

Although I didn’t vote for him, I’m embarrassed that our president claimed that the four people murdered at a kosher market in Paris were “random victims.” Even though their killer, Amedy Coulibay, phoned a TV station from the market to say: “I have 16 hostages and I have killed four of them, and I targeted them because they were Jewish,” it cuts no ice with Obama. Even the fact that the victims were all buried in Israel failed to clue the terminally clueless one.

But, then, I suppose if barbarians screaming “Allah Akbar” before killing Christians doesn’t make them Muslims, there’s no reason that shopping in a kosher market and being interred in Israel would suggest they just might be Jews.

Finally, it seems only fair to ask: If 11 million illegals are, as the Democrats insist, such a boon to our economy, why didn’t they stay home and help the Mexican economy? And, more to the point, how is it that Mexico was so anxious to see these potential entrepreneurs leave, they gave them a boost over the fence?

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Canapes for Republicans


I fully grasp why some people object to the way I tend to hop from topic to topic. They would prefer if, like all the other pundits, I stuck to one subject. The truth is that I, too, would prefer it that way. However, at the rate at which the world displays its insanity, even with three or four articles a week and half a dozen or so items in each one of them, I keep falling behind. So try to bear with me.

The other day I was watching an Islamic peace conference taking place in Norway. The main speaker seemed to be an agreeable sort. He wasn’t calling for jihad or threatening to behead anyone. In fact, his whole purpose was to let the world know that he, along with the several hundred Muslims in attendance, were not radicals. They were just typical run-of-the-mosque followers of Islam.

He asked for a show of hands as he asked a series of questions. A few I jotted down were whether women should be stoned to death for committing adultery, whether homosexuals should all be killed and whether men and women should always sit separately at public gatherings. To all three, everyone in the auditorium raised his hand in agreement.

And yet President Obama sees no difference between these people and all those self-righteous Christians riding around on their high horses.

Eric Holder, on his way out the door, is taking bows for cleaning up George Bush’s politicized Justice Department. This coming from the guy who refused to indict the Black Panthers for intimidating white voters; who traveled to Ferguson, MO, to express his support of a black thug and the black vandals who torched the town; who has backed every unconstitutional power grab by the President; and who, for good measure, has Al Sharpton on speed dial.

It only took the Pentagon five years to finally decide that Major Nidal Hasan was an Islamic terrorist and not your typical workplace whack-job, so that the survivors and the families of those who didn’t survive the massacre could be awarded Purple Hearts and the benefits that go with them. To better appreciate what the Pentagon has become over the past couple of decades, keep in mind that it took us less time to wage and win World War II.

The fact that it was Germany and France that met with Russia to determine the fate of Ukraine reminds me that it was England and France that met with Germany to determine the fate of Czechoslovakia 77 years ago. Once again, it’s like three wolves and a lamb deciding what to have for dinner.

One is hearing a lot about Common Core these days, both pro and con. Just for the record, I am all for schools having academic standards. But these days, when the graduates of teachers colleges are all left-wingers and their unions are so deep into the pocket of the DNC, they have actually learned to breathe lint, I wouldn’t trust them to teach the alphabet. The defenders of Common Core insist it’s not a federal project because it was concocted by the governors. What they ignore is that funding for Common Core would come from the federal government, and most governors would trade their birthright for a bowl of federal porridge.

Besides, I have read enough of the Common Core mission statement to know that it is a lot of high-sounding rhetoric that reads like every other piece of bureaucratic claptrap.

Unlike many on the Right, I approve of state lotteries. I know that do-gooders hate them, arguing that those who can least afford to take part are those most likely to venture a dollar or two a week on them. In response, I say that the buck isn’t going to make any real difference in their lives, but for a tiny investment, they are buying themselves a pot load of hope, a commodity I have found to be priceless in my own life.

The only thing about lotteries that I don’t like is that something like 40% of the gross apparently goes to fund public schools. We all know that’s just a P.R. tactic to put a good face on state-supported gambling. Feeling as I do about public schools, I personally would prefer to have that money added to the payouts.

I was sent a copy of Charles Krauthammer’s book, “Things That Matter,” for my birthday. Because it is a collection of his old columns and not a book with a plot, I haven’t been able to build up a head of steam. It’s not that I don’t like it – the writing is quite elegant – just that it’s a book easier to lay down than to pick up.

The piece that I have enjoyed the most is the one in which Krauthammer voiced an opinion about whether a statue of FDR should show him seated on a regular chair or in his wheelchair. At the time the decision was made, I favored the wheelchair, regarding that as the more honest depiction. However, Krauthammer changed my mind by arguing that FDR spent most of his adult life behaving as if the wheelchair and the circumstances that landed him in one were inconsequential.

The reason Krauthammer could change my mind is because of my own experience with him. Some years ago, I went with a friend to hear him speak. Because his plane was late arriving in L.A., the audience had grown restless. Finally, he showed up…in a wheelchair! I was shocked and assumed he had suffered a recent injury. Only later did I discover that he had been paralyzed ever since diving into a swimming pool and hitting bottom while still in college.

Until that evening, I had always assumed when I saw him on TV that he simply had extraordinarily good posture.

If Krauthammer, who has spent 45 of his extraordinary 65 years in a wheelchair, thinks FDR should be seated in a regular chair, his vote trumps mine.

It seems that Oregon’s strippers are appealing to the state legislators to impose better health and safety requirements in the clubs where they perform. The legislators have promised to consider it. When asked how they could stoop to deal with such a scuzzy crowd, the strippers said they had no alternative.

In other news, a lady in Florida – Maxxzandra (and wouldn’t that name be worth a zillion points in Scrabble if it weren’t a proper noun?!) – Ford gave birth to baby Avery, who weighed in at 14.1 pounds. Mrs. Ford wasn’t even aware that she was pregnant until her 35th week. I suppose she thought it was just taking a very long time to digest the bowling ball she’d had at Thanksgiving.

Word has it that Avery was born not only with a full head of hair, but with a mustache, a beard and a contract to play left guard for the Chicago Bears.

Finally, from the Department of Beware What You Pray For: In 1976, when Bruce Jenner was 26, he won the Olympic gold medal in the decathlon and was pronounced the world’s greatest athlete. As a result, boys all over the world prayed they’d grow up to be just like him.

As a result, there are now millions of 50-year-old men who are hoping that God didn’t take them seriously.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

"It's No Surprise" and "A Classless Society"


If you keep hearing bad news, you come to expect it. I suppose in a way that’s a good thing because you are at least spared the shock to your system. Therefore, the only real surprise these days is when a bit of good news slips through.

For instance, I know that David Axelrod is getting a lot of media attention for writing a book in which he divulges the news -- stop the presses! – that Barack Obama did not really evolve, as he claimed, from being opposed to same-sex marriages to being an ardent supporter. Axelrod explained that Obama was always in favor of them, but claimed otherwise in 2008 for political reasons. But, really, did anyone really believe he was on the conservative side of the debate? Even homosexuals knew better, which explains why they voted overwhelmingly for the great pretender.

In Chapel Hill, a disgruntled neighbor apparently shot and killed three Muslims -- Deah Barakat, his wife and sister-in-law -- in a dispute over a parking space. Although everyone who knew the killer said he was an atheist who despised all believers, whatever their religion, as well as everyone else in town, Muslims are demanding it be treated as a hate crime and, so, naturally, Eric Holder’s flying monkeys are looking into it.

What is not being broadcast is that the real hater was young Mr. Barakat himself. According to a slew of his tweets, he hated Israel and he hated the U.S. because of its historic ties to Israel. He was consistently tweeting support for Hamas and comparing Israel to the Nazis, as well as parroting the slander that the Israelis and George Bush were behind 9/11.

To me, the surprise isn’t that America’s Muslims are, as usual, claiming victimhood. The only real surprise is how rarely they actually are victimized.

At a conference in Brussels, Christiana Figueres of Costa Rica, the Executive Secretary of the U.N.’s Framework Convention on Climate Change, gave what is perhaps the first noteworthy speech ever delivered in Brussels. (Mrs. Figueres, by the way, must have to pay an overweight fee every time she boards an airplane just to cart her title around.)

What she admitted is that the primary goal of environmentalists, of which she is one, is not to save the world from ecological calamity, but to destroy capitalism. She confessed: “This is the first time in the history of mankind that we are setting ourselves the task of intentionally changing the economic development model that has been reigning for at least 150 years, ever since the Industrial Revolution.”

So the next time, Obama, Gore, Biden, Pelosi or some lunkhead at the U.N. tells you the planet is on the verge of being incinerated, keep in mind that the actual target is the only economic system that has ever lifted people out of poverty and allowed them to rise, through honest endeavor, above the station into which they were born.

In case you ever wondered why civil servants should never have been allowed to unionize -- a move which led to huge blocs of voters in a position to negotiate their contracts with corrupt politicians -- it seems that 4,481 retired New York City school teachers are receiving annual pensions in excess of $100,000.

Because politicians rarely give a thought to anything beyond their next election, and because the money they cough up, whether in the form of welfare, disability or pensions, is not coming out of their own pockets, they go through life like Santa Claus’s evil brother, Insanity Claus.

Although it’s been fun piling on Brian Williams, I hate to see him be the only person being suspended, a suspension which will very likely lead to termination. After all, every member of every NBC camera crew that accompanied him to Iraq, New Orleans and D-Day’s Omaha Beach, knew he was lying. Every producer who was ever assigned to his show knew he was lying. Every executive in the news division of NBC knew he was lying. And yet, so far as we know, every single one of them was complicit in his lies, maintaining a collective silence the Mafia would have envied, until a few members of the military spilled their guts to a reporter for Stars and Stripes.

In a just world, it’s NBC that would be serving a six month suspension.

In other news, Oregon’s Governor John Kitzhaber (D), recently elected to a fourth term, has been forced to resign in the wake of a scandal involving his fiancée using his office to induce huge bribes from those involved in the so-called clean energy industry.

Although Kitzhaber tried to tough it out, he was eventually forced to cave to media and party pressure, and call it quits.

Because Oregon doesn’t have a lieutenant governor, his resignation paved the way for Secretary of State Kate Brown to assume the office. What makes her ascension newsworthy is the fact that she is now America’s first openly bi-sexual governor.

Frankly, if I were bi-sexual, I think I’d keep it under wraps. In this day and age, thanks to a general breakdown in morals and sanity, there is apparently nothing intrinsically shameful about anyone’s sexual bent, even if one’s taste runs to inflatable dolls, farm animals or Rosie O’Donnell.

However, as bad as it is if you’re heterosexual or homosexual and can’t scrounge up a date for Saturday night, if you’re bi-sexual, it means that absolutely nobody in the entire universe wants to be seen with you.




A Classless Society




For a great many years, ours was a nation where class distinctions existed, but they weren’t usually rolled out for strictly partisan purposes. But that was before Obama and his trolls decided there was political gold to be mined by dividing America into a series of political wards, separated by age, race, gender and income.

In England, the people have long been divided into upper class and lower class. Over here, Obama, a notable Anglophobe, has seen to it that the major divide is between those with some vestige of class and those with none.

By promoting the redistribution of wealth, he has garnered favor with poor blacks, single women, college students, illegal aliens and Jewish socialists, and through his economic policies he has made the poor poorer and the rich even richer, leading to increased political contributions from defense attorneys, insurance companies and Wall Street. It has also sent a great many of those who were formerly entrenched in the middle class into poverty, making them increasingly dependent on the federal government, the natural feeding ground of Democrats.

As every tyrant of the 20th century, from Lenin and Stalin to Hitler, Pol Pot and Mao, knew only too well, before absolute power could rest safely in their hands, the middle class had to be destroyed. In Russia, Germany, Cambodia and China, it happened at the point of a gun and resulted in gulags and mass graves. Here it only took Obama’s telephone and fountain pen, along with a compliant Congress, to achieve the desired ends.

For instance, when I recently wrote about the vanishing steel industry, once one of the major bulwarks of our economy, I was reminded that it didn’t happen by accident. It was the result of the EPA shutting down blast furnaces, open hearth furnaces and coke ovens. As a result, coke-making operations, as Howard Last of Wyoming, reminded me, were largely abandoned, and coke is essential for a blast furnace to operate.

But the industrial union leaders essentially let it happen, and then, like the lap dogs they are, continued shelling out millions of dollars to the DNC. And just in case you were wondering why they would stand idly by and watch Obama and the Democrats put the kibosh on the Keystone pipeline and its 40,000 well-paying jobs, it’s because union leaders, who are even more useless than the human appendix, get paid just as much whether or not their members are working.

Here in California, 500 information technology (IT) workers at So Cal Edison are being laid off and being replaced by workers from India. Adding insult to injury, the Americans are being required to train them. What’s more, according to Patrick Thibodeau, writing in Computerworld, similar sins are being committed around the country.

These are not only jobs Americans are willing to do, they are good-paying, highly technical jobs they were already doing.

But it’s nothing new. IT workers have been complaining about this for some time, but they are being drowned out by the lobbyists for high tech companies working the corridors of Congress. They are also silenced by severance agreements as well as legitimate fears that raising a stink will hurt their future prospects for employment.

Recently, I compared the members of ISIS to the Nazis, and although it was a close competition, I finally decided that for a number of reasons, the Muslims were worse. One thing I left out of the equation is that the Germans maintained POW camps. They actually clothed and fed captured soldiers; they did not behead them or set them ablaze.

Some people have wondered why ISIS insists on filming and then posting the gruesome videos on social media, especially when they must realize it provokes their enemies to retaliate. The answer is fairly obvious. It’s because, contrary to Obama’s contention that Gitmo serves as a recruiting tool for jihadists, these visual aids attract sadists the way blood in the water attracts sharks. It is how the Nazis swelled the ranks of the S.S. They merely let it be known that if you joined up, you would not only be able to rape, torture and murder, with impunity, but you would be paid and would receive commendations and medals.

The real mystery to me is why everyone is terrified of confronting ISIS. They’re certainly barbaric, even by Islamic standards, but there are only about 30,000 of them and they don’t even have an air force. Even France, I dare say, could wipe them out in about a week. Plus the schmucks don’t speak German, so the French wouldn’t be at their usual psychological disadvantage.

Speaking of those who should be neutered, if not wiped out entirely, liberals have made careers out of mocking conservatives, insisting we’re a bunch of pious busybodies who like nothing better than to condemn other people’s morals.

But it is those on the Left who consistently show Salem witch hunter Cotton Mather to be something of an underachiever. It’s Democrats who have decided that they and they alone should determine how everybody else should behave.

So by their lights, it’s okay to be a religious zealot, but only so long as your religion is Islam or Liberalism, but strictly taboo if it happens to be Christianity or Judaism.

It is also perfectly fine if you’re homosexual or engage in any other sexual activity formerly deemed perverse, unnatural or disgusting. Instead, those are the words liberals reserve for those who smoke tobacco – but not marijuana – and who believe in an omnipotent God other than one named Barack Obama.

But if you really want to enrage a true leftist believer, let him see you imbibing one of those satanic beverages containing – horror of horrors – sugar! Like Linda Blair in “The Exorcist,” his head will start twirling, his eyes will roll up into his skull and green bile will come spewing from his mouth.

I assume we are all familiar with Michelangelo’s masterful work on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, showing God, the bearer of life, reaching out to touch his finger to that of Adam. Someone sent me a cartoon recently that showed God holding out, not a finger, but a human brain to his creation, and Adam replying: “No thanks…I’m a liberal.”

It would certainly explain why we got booted out of Eden.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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Monday, February 16, 2015

Barack Obama, Meet King Canute


Over the past six years, Obama has left us with a slew of memorable moments. There was that occasion when he called together a group of Democrats and Republicans, and took the opportunity to tell John McCain to sit down and shut up because one of them had won a presidential election, and that someone wasn’t Sen. McCain.

Then there were the many times that Obama swore that we could all keep our doctors and our health insurance, hoping nobody would notice he had his fingers crossed.

Then there was the speech at the U.N. when Obama claimed that the Benghazi massacre was the direct result of a video nobody had seen or the debate with Mitt Romney when he denied that he had shut down oil production on federal land and got moderator Candy Crowley to back him up.

But perhaps the most telling of all his unforgettable moments took place on the White House basketball court at the annual egg roll in 2013, an Easter that coincided with April Fool’s Day and will live on in infamy. It was the day he missed 20 of the 22 shots he took.

If you recall, nobody was playing defense. There were no hands waving in his face. He took 22 shots, including lay-ups, and only got the ball through the hoop twice.

What bewildered everyone was that he never changed his approach. He didn’t alter his grip or the arc on the ball. He just kept throwing up clunkers.

The reason I mentioned Canute, the 11th century king of Denmark, England, Norway and parts of Sweden, is because his major claim to fame is that he once sat in a chair at the beach and commanded the tide to stop rolling in. Although there are those who believe he did it because he regarded himself as all-powerful. I don’t buy it. Nothing I’ve read about Canute suggests he was an idiot. Instead, I believe he did it because he wanted to remind his most ardent followers that he was merely a king; he was not God. And that is the difference between that king and our own.

When Obama continued missing shot after shot, it was because he believes he is God, and that eventually the planets would re-align themselves and his shots would all start swishing through the net without his having to make even the slightest adjustment.

There has been a furor in recent weeks swirling around vaccinations. Frankly, I am astonished and after suffering through six years of Obama, there is hardly anything that still has the ability to shock me. But I hadn’t counted on the ability of a moron like Jenny McCarthy to persuade thousands, if not millions, of people that vaccinations cause autism among children.

But I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that liberals who allow a former Vice President to pass himself off as a professional climatologist should readily accept a former Playboy centerfold posing as a medical authority.

I suppose we can only sit and wait for the announcement that, like Al Gore, Jenny has won a Nobel Prize, although in both their cases a more fitting award would have been the Chicken Little Prize for false alarms.

I realize that Joy Behar, who, like Bill Maher, indulges in false advertising by calling herself a comedian, has already announced that only stupid, religious, conservatives believe vaccinations are dangerous to our children’s health. However, those who actually did the research have concluded that, aside from the Amish, those who are the most reluctant to have their children vaccinated are those brie-noshing twits living in such left-wing enclaves as Marin County, West L.A. and Santa Monica.

The truth is that getting vaccinations makes sense, both for those getting them and for those who would otherwise be placed in danger. Grown-ups do have the option of living as hermits, limiting their contact with other living things to befriending squirrels and hugging trees. Otherwise, they have a social contract to abide by reasonable rules of health and hygiene. As John Donne pointed out, no man is an island, at least not unless he buys one and moves there.

A reader sent me a note that points out that there are 1,500 newspapers, 1,100 magazines, 9,000 radio stations, 1,500 TV stations and 2,400 publishers, in the U.S. and that the majority of them are owned by a half dozen corporations; namely GE, NewsCorp, Disney, Viacom, Time Warner and CBS. Making it all even more claustrophobic, not to mention incestuous, is that most of the people running these outfits are married to members of the Obama administration.

Perhaps now you understand why I get so annoyed with the likes of Sheldon Adelson, Donald Trump and the Koch brothers, conservatives who seem to think it’s beneath them to sink some of their billions into buying up or starting up media outlets.

At least Adelson does own a newspaper. Unfortunately it’s in Israel.

If I had even half their money, I would start up a network in competition with Fox. Simply by promising conservative viewers that they would no longer be forced to put up with Bob Beckel, Juan Williams, Kirsten Powers, Bill O’Reilly, Geraldo Rivera and Alan Colmes, they’d draw off millions of Fox viewers.

And as a motto, I would offer “Honest and Conservative,” which would make for a welcome change from the banal “Fair and Balanced.”

Not only is the motto hackneyed, but it’s a lie. After all, you wouldn’t put a flyweight in the ring with Joe Louis. So how is it fair or balanced to put Juan Williams in the ring with Charles Krauthammer, Steve Hayes, George Will, Jonah Goldberg or Bret Baier? Fish being shot at in the proverbial barrel have a better chance of success than poor Juan.

In the movies of the 30s and 40s, we had the cartoony likes of Stepin Fetchit, Willie Best, Mantan Moreland and Butterfly McQueen, serving as comical counterpoint to Charlie Chan and all the smart white guys.

Today, Mr. Williams plays the same role, although he is better dressed and nobody rubs his head for good luck. On occasion, Juan even gets to roll his eyes like Willie Best when one of the other Fox panelists is voicing an intelligent opinion.

I suppose a fat paycheck is compensation enough for some people to serve themselves up for a daily dose of ridicule. But, speaking for myself, I long for the day when I can watch a news show without having to fast-forward, not only through a score of commercials, but through an endless parade of liberal lunkheads.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.

Friday, February 13, 2015

"Flying Under False Colors" and "Teachable Moments"


It seems that Brian Williams is a victim of his own pathology. It’s not as if anyone put a gun to his head and told him to lie about events in Iraq. But he didn’t want to be dismissed as merely an observer. He wanted to be seen as heroic.

We’d all like to be seen that way, but he was willing to lie for the glory. In fact, he was so desperate that as a member of his town’s volunteer fire department, he once claimed to have rescued a kitten from a burning building. Another time, he mentioned saving two kittens.

Unfortunately, lies are commonplace these days and there is little if any shame in being caught in the act. If Obama doesn’t tell 10 or 12 whoppers a day, he gets Josh Earnest, Jen Psaki or John Kerry, to go out and tell them on his behalf.

It’s hard to blame Williams, though. After all, when Walter Cronkite told lies about the Vietnam War, he was lionized. When Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein inflated the sins of Watergate, they made millions off book sales and got to see Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman bring them to life on the screen.

Compared to that, lying about seeing a body floating past his New Orleans hotel window in 2005 is small potatoes. Besides, if you recall, at the time the entire media universe was telling lies about Hurricane Katrina. The biggest lie was that somehow the fault was entirely George W. Bush’s. It surely wasn’t with the environmentalists who had prevented the Army Corps of Engineers from working on the levees. It wasn’t with Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco or New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin or with the thousands of New Orleans residents who didn’t bother removing themselves from the flood area. It wasn’t even blamed on Mother Nature. No, according to the liberal media, it was Bush’s fault for not swooping in and either reversing the flood or flying everyone out on his back!

Another little known aspect to the Brian Williams saga is that he is a frustrated comedian who let the NBC brass know back when the job was still up for grabs that he wished to be Jay Leno’s replacement.

At least now, thanks to all those doctored pictures of Williams showing him to be a real life Zelig standing next to Abe Lincoln, Douglas MacArthur and Neil Armstrong on the moon, he has inadvertently made millions of people laugh.

People are wondering what Williams will do if NBC decides he has lost so much credibility that he can’t be returned to his seat at the anchor desk. I would suggest that he buy a nightclub in NYC, the way Rodney Dangerfield did. Every night, Williams could perform stand-up at Brian’s Comedy Club and complain, like the legendary Dangerfield: “I get no respect.”

Islamists like to claim that modern-day terrorism is a payback for the Crusades of the 12th century. Unfortunately, that narrative breaks down when you realize that their two major targets – the U.S. and Israel – (aka Big and Little Satan) didn’t take part in the Crusades, perhaps because neither existed in the 12th century.

Besides, if there is anyone on speaking terms with Satan, it is clearly those committing atrocities around the world and calling themselves al Qaeda, ISIS, Boko Haram, Hamas, Hezbollah, the Muslim Brotherhood and the Taliban.

If the West wasn’t as squeamish as a troop of Brownies, they would have taken up arms years ago when Iran first took hostages, and driven the Islamic degenerates from the landscape. You’d have thought that the world would have learned something from World War II, which could have been avoided if only the West hadn’t been so worried about what Hitler might do if confronted. Instead, they tried to make nice until he was well on his way to conquering all of Europe and leaving roughly 60 million corpses in his wake.

Whether one is discussing German Nazis, Islamic Nazis or cancer, you either eradicate it at the first sign or you wind up fighting it only after it has gained the upper hand.

In the wake of a young woman’s unfortunate murder by ISIS, it might seem unnecessarily callous to point out that Kayla Mueller wasn’t exactly a combination of Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc and the Virgin Mary, the way she’s been depicted.

This is the sort of thing Al Gore would label an inconvenient truth, but Ms. Mueller may have gone to the Middle East in order to be a Good Samaritan, but as historian Ron Radosh has pointed out, she became a “useful idiot” working on behalf of Hamas.

She fell hook, line and sinker, for the lies of the terrorists, possibly influenced by her Syrian boyfriend. She not only took part in Palestinian demonstrations, but was a propagandist for Hamas, portraying them as freedom fighters. For doing nothing more than attempting to defend itself against the constant missile barrages targeting its civilian population, Ms. Mueller branded Israel a cruel and oppressive nation.

Idealism is not uncommon among the young, and it deserves to be cherished before it’s eventually corroded by reality. But idealism rooted in lies is indefensible. As we’ve seen in our own country, even after all the facts came out about Stalin’s atrocities and his legion of spies, there were still those who thought Stalin was a saint, that Julius Rosenberg was framed and that Alger Hiss was an honest man martyred by Republican witch hunters.

Unfortunately, thanks to ISIS, we’ll never know if Ms. Mueller would eventually have grown up, wised up and accepted the truth about those villains she mistook for heroes.

Finally, I would like to take this moment to pay my final respects to Lizabeth Scott (born Emma Matzo) who passed away on January 31, at the age of 92.

We had been friends for nearly 50 years. And although those who only knew her as Hollywood’s icy blonde icon of 1950 melodramas might be surprised, she was warm, funny, stylish and politically conservative.

Those who remember her remarkable voice will be happy to know that to the very end, she could melt the wax in your ears.

Rest in peace, Emma.



Teachable Moments


Barack Obama keeps telling us that the overwhelming majority of Muslims are wonderful, peace-loving, people who oppose terrorism. I would love to believe that, but I only have his word for it. And by now, I believe we all know what his word is worth.

All the evidence happens to point in the opposite direction. Although most Muslim nations are dictatorships run by royal families or mullahs, we have seen free elections on occasion. In so-called Palestine, the people elected Hamas, a terrorist group dedicated to the elimination of Israel. In Egypt, until the military fortunately took control, the people chose to replace Hosni Mubarak with the terrorists known as the Muslim Brotherhood.

Even here in America, the Muslims have shown their true colors by continuing in the aftermath of 9/11 to support terrorist groups through “charitable” contributions until the FBI put a stop to it. These days, some American Muslims travel to the Middle East in order to join up with ISIS, while others are content to stay home and make their positions clear by leading campus demonstrations calling for colleges to divest themselves of Israeli investments. For extracurricular credit, they shout down Israeli diplomats and other campus guests for daring to defend the only western democracy in the Middle East.

Some people wonder why Wall Street executives and other business leaders are so willing to support Barack Obama when he is constantly talking trash about them. The answer is that they know that as usual, he’s lying, just as they knew he was lying when he said that people would be able to keep their doctors and their insurance policies when he was cramming ObamaCare down our throats. They knew, but they didn’t care because they, along with the hypocrites at AARP, knew they stood to make billions off the lies.

With Barack’s proposed four trillion dollar budget in the news, we are once again hearing the word “sequester” being tossed around. Sequester was the result of the politicians being able to agree on a compromised budget two years ago. At the time, because it required that spending be cut across the board, both Democrats and Republicans were predicting the end of the world. The claim was that at the very least it would result in the loss of 40,000 jobs and a breakdown in homeland security. In reality, it cost one person his job. Unfortunately, that person wasn’t Barack Obama.

The Republicans, then as now, were aghast at the thought of the Pentagon’s budget being slashed. Even then, my reaction was “So what?” It was apparent that under Obama, we would never go to war. At least never against the likes of Russia, Iran, Yemen or Syria. I mean, it’s not as if those places are full of Republicans.

When ISIS can slit the throats of French, English, Japanese and American, citizens and burn a Jordanian pilot to death, and all we do is drop a few bombs on them, why do we even need a Pentagon? We could not only save ourselves a ton of money, but begin showing a profit by converting the place into condos.

Speaking of Jordan, according to the NY Times, Chris Christie had King Abdullah pick up the tab for the Christie family to pay a visit. The tab included a $30,000 hotel bill. In 2012, Christie flew to Israel aboard a private jet loaned to him by Vegas mogul Sheldon Adelson, who at the time was opposing legislation that would have legalized online gambling in New Jersey. In response, Gov. Christie has said, “I relish these experiences and exposures, especially for my kids. I try to squeeze all the juice out of the orange that I can.”

Such candor from a New Jersey governor is refreshing. From someone who believes he belongs in the Oval Office, it’s revolting.

Another name I am anxious to scratch off the list of GOP presidential hopefuls is Ohio Gov. John Kasich, who refers to Matthew 25 in his defense of ObamaCare. Comparing a federal takeover of one-seventh of the economy to the Bible’s call to feed the hungry and clothe the poor carries the stench of false piety. When a person contributes to charity of his own volition, it tells you a lot about the man. When a president, with the power and authority to have people arrested, confiscates money with the purpose of redistributing wealth at the point of a gun, it isn’t charity; it’s communism.

Those defending Common Core insist it will raise educational standards around the country, while leaving the actual control in the hands of states and cities. What’s more, they’ll tell you that it was America’s governors who came up with the idea. What they don’t tell you is that federal funding will depend on whether or not a state signs on to the program. And anyone who tells you that the feds don’t have the final word once they determine who receives and who doesn’t receive our tax dollars is selling you a truckload of malarkey.

That is why one of the main items on my wish list for a 2016 presidential candidate is that he or she -- along with getting us out of the U.N., cutting the EPA way down to size, implementing the Flat Tax and taking the war on Islamic terrorism as seriously as the Muslims take their war on western civilization -- vows to do his or her best to getting the federal government out of education, health care and everything else not specified in the Constitution.

Others have commented that when Obama hosted the Super Bowl champions to the White House, it was the first time in six years that an American Patriot has set foot in the place. It’s a good line, but a sad truth. Under Obama’s reign, America has trudged for six long years on the Via Dolorosa, the name given to Christ’s path to his crucifixion. In this case, Obama has acted as his own personal Home Depot, supplying the hammer, lumber and nails.

When people insist that Obama means well, but has been the victim of circumstances or of George Bush’s policies, they are ignoring the fact that even a broken clock is right twice a day. When every single thing -- both domestically and in foreign affairs – that the man does is counterproductive to the best interests of America and her traditional allies, it can’t possibly be dismissed as accidental.
Finally, a nine-year-old who had just seen the latest “Hobbit” movie told a friend he had a magic ring that had the power to make their classmates disappear. Naturally, the school authorities immediately suspended him for making terrorist threats!

Upon seeing how well it worked, rumor has it that every kid in the school is now bragging about having an identical ring.

I suggest that instead of worrying about pie-in-the-sky educational standards, it’s time to start worrying about the idiots who are suspending kids over magic rings and locked and loaded Pop Tarts.

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Holocausts & Other Horrors




Justwhen you think every actor is a narcissistic nincompoop along comes Sir Ben (“Gandhi,” “Schindler’s List”) Kingsley, who sadly observed that Europe never grieved over the Holocaust.  Asked if he thought it could ever happen again, he said, “Of course,” noting that Hitler once asked “Who remembers the Armenians?” referencing the first holocaust of the 20th century when 1.5 million Armenian Christians were slaughtered by the Islamic Turks.

Relating a personal anecdote, Kingsley reports that he was on the set of a Holocaust-related film being shot in Budapest when an elderly Hungarian passing by said, “It never happened, and if you don’t shut up it will happen again.”

As happens with great frequency, I received an email from a reader asking me as a Jewish conservative to explain why the majority of American Jews seem to “bow and scrape and kiss the behinds of all the people that want them dead.”

God knows I have spent years doing my best to explain this conundrum to non-Jews, even though I confess to being, if not entirely mystified, at least as angry and frustrated as anyone.  The best I can do is point out that the Jews that my reader has in mind are really JINOs (Jews in name only).  It partially explains why Hitler was as successful as he was.  Many German Jews regarded themselves as loyal Germans, not as Jews, and stuck around until it was too late to escape.  Some of them held the Jews from the Soviet Union, Poland, Hungary and Lithuania, in contempt, the way a great many Jews now regard Israelis.  It’s not that American Jews aren’t religious, but that for 70% of them their religion is Liberalism.

I can sort of understand why certain Democrats don’t really care that Obama lied about the Affordable Care Act.  I get why others aren’t troubled by the Benghazi cover-up or the IRS’s targeting conservatives.  Once I accept the blind partisanship of liberals, I can even grasp why they don’t seem overly concerned with Obama’s exchanging major terrorists for an Army deserter or his allowing the EPA to enact thousands of job-killing regulations.  With all that, it’s easy to see why so many liberals, including those in Congress, don’t object to Obama’s ignoring the Constitution entirely when it comes to immigration or revising ObamaCare.

What I can’t come to terms with is the fact that there are tens of millions of Democrats in the nation and hundreds more in Congress who don’t care about any of these things.

When liberals devote so little time to thinking rationally, it doesn’t seem fair that we conservatives have to spend so much time trying to figure out their motives.  For instance, liberals have no trouble parroting Obama’s big lie about Gitmo serving as a major recruiting tool for terrorists, but neither he nor they ever seem to give a moment’s consideration to the part that allowing Islamic clerics to proselytize our prison population plays in the recruitment process.

But, then, the liberal academics at UC Santa Cruz chose Angela Davis, unrepentant communist, Black Panther supporter, anti-Semite and former Santa Cruz professor/propagandist, to speak on “Racism, Militarism and Poverty: From Ferguson to Palestine” at a Martin Luther King memorial service.  Rumor has it that her address was drowned out by a loud whirring sound attributed to the reverend’s spinning in his grave.

Apparently when King said he believed that people should be judged by their character and not by their skin color, the nitwits who run things at UC Santa Cruz thought he was kidding.

Speaking of skin color, I wonder if Republican senators Orrin Hatch, Lindsay Graham and Jeff Flake, would be as anxious to confirm Loretta Lynch as the new Attorney General in spite of the fact that she has been personally endorsed by Barack Obama and Eric Holder, and has testified that she agrees that Obama had the constitutional authority to legalize five million illegal aliens, if she were white.  It also makes me wonder if this trio of jackasses would also vote to confirm Eric Holder if Obama decides to appoint him to the Supreme Court.

Even though the next presidential election is still nearly two years away, it is never too early to start making plans.  My plan is to get California’s Republicans re-settled in those states where we can make a difference.  Although many people are surprised to hear that there are any Republicans in California, they’re overlooking how many people live in this state.  At last count, with a population hovering around 40 million, there were 17.7 million registered voters in California.

Unfortunately, 43% of them are Democrats, only 28% Republicans.  But even 28% of 17.7 million voters add up to five million Republicans, more than enough to swing elections in several states.  Understand, I’m not volunteering to pull up stakes, feeling it’s my duty to report from the belly of the beast, but I would be happy to see to it that every other California Republican sacrifices great weather for the good of the nation.

It’s not just individuals who are getting the message.  A friend who recently moved from the Midwest to Atlanta, reports that during his first two weeks in town he learned that Mercedes-Benz is moving to Atlanta from New Jersey, Porsche is coming down from New York, and Quintiles, a major clinical research lab, is relocating from Chicago.

Because I recently questioned the allocation of charitable contributions by the Wounded Warrior Project, I heard from a great many people asking how they could best help our wounded veterans.  I believe the answer to that is the Fisher House.  Its mission is to provide convenient free housing for the families of those vets undergoing hospitalization and therapy for their war-related injuries.  And unlike the Wounded Warrior Project, Fisher House, modeling itself on the Salvation Army, relies almost exclusively on volunteers.

Fisher House realizes that the price of serving our nation often entails loss of limbs and eyesight, but it shouldn’t also involve separation from one’s loved ones any longer than is absolutely necessary.

A wise friend, Burt Roseman sent me something I’d like to share with all you conservative parents who are plagued with liberal, college-age, children.  First, ask the kids whether they support Obama’s proposal to raise inheritance taxes.  Next, rewrite your wills accordingly.

Finally, when I stopped for gas yesterday, I saw a sign on the pump that said “Mobil One – a fully synthetic motor oil.”  Then I read it a second time to make certain I had read it correctly.  I had.

So is it just me or isn’t that the equivalent of a Hollywood starlet boasting that her boobs are 100% silicone?

©2015 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.


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